The Weight of Us
by RhysMerilot
Summary: A story of not being ready to fall in love, to be in love, and letting one in emotionally. Of learning to be brave in the face of uncertainty. Of hope when there seems to be none within reach...
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: Just a little note before we get started. This picks up about two years after s4, some events loosely referred to, but spun in my own little way to fit the plot (and sub-plots) of this story. This is a slow-burn SwanQueen fic and a stark contrast to Miles To Go in every way. I have been looking forward to sharing this story since I started writing it about a month ago and I hope you enjoy it as I plan to stick to this one for a little while yet!**

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Her mouth felt dry, chalk-like almost, and her lips stuck together before a yawn slipped out despite her efforts to suppress it. Her head was pounding. With a groan, she cracked open a single eyelid and shut it tightly once again. It was too bright. Everything was just _too_ bright even beyond her tightly closed eyes.

Warm sunlight bathed the room when she forced her eyes open once more. Her brain was nothing more than a foggy mess, the night before coming back in blurry, broken memories that made absolutely zero sense in her half-awake, hung over state. The very last thing she could remember from the night before was shots. Lots and lots of tequila shots at Granny's Diner.

_Endless_ tequila shots. With Regina. Not the first time they'd drank together, and despite the throbbing pain in her head, it wouldn't be the last.

Emma groaned quietly as she draped her arm over her eyes, her head pounding harder, her body already protesting every little movement she made. How much _had_ she drunk last night? It was the hangover to end all hangovers she'd ever had.

She froze when she felt movement in the bed next to her. Panic washed over her in an instant. Had she gotten so drunk the night before that she called Hook over despite them having broken up _years_ ago? No, she couldn't have because even though their breakup had ended far from being a clean break, even in her drunken state she would _never_ have called him over. They were done. Completely done.

Emma licked over her lips slowly and she knew in that very moment that it definitely wasn't Hook in bed with her. No, the taste on her lips and tongue were that of a _woman_. There was a distinct muskiness when it came to women and that was exactly what she tasted when she licked over her lips once again. Even despite the fact that she was parched, the taste was intoxicating and there was only just a hint of the copious amounts of tequila she'd consumed the night before that lingered behind.

Feeling far too nervous to look over at the other occupant of the bed—not her bed she suddenly realized since it was far too soft compared to her usual firm mattress that she preferred. There was also the very distinctive smell that could belong to no other and that realization was the true moment of when Emma started completely freaking out internally.

Vanilla with a hint of cinnamon, jasmine, and honey crisp apples.

Belonging to none other than one Regina Mills.

And there was the sudden realization that she was stark naked under the soft silk sheets that caused her inner panic to increase tenfold in a matter of milliseconds. Cranking open an eye, the sight of Regina's sleeping face just inches from her own greeted her. Further panic filled her then in that very moment. Did she seriously have _sex_ with Regina in her drunken state?

Emma slapped a hand over her eyes in that very moment. They'd had sex together, there was no doubting that, and from the hazy memories, it had been nothing short of amazing. She came to that very realization from the very sated feeling in her body, from the satisfied ache that suddenly throbbed between her legs.

She swallowed thickly past the rising lump in her throat. Guilt, regret, shame, and embarrassment filled her all at once as she blinked her eyes open, suddenly feeling far too awake and aware of her current predicament. _She had sex with Regina_.

They were friends and it had been a long, hard road to get to where they were now. Emma knew that whatever had happened last night would cause a crucial setback when it came to their friendship. How did they go from having endless tequila shots at Granny's to Regina's bed? Emma tried to get past the fog that settled in her head, searching for those hazy memories that just weren't coming as clearly as she needed them to be. How had they ended up where they were now?

Stealing a glance over at Regina still asleep next to her, she slipped out of the bed as quietly as she could manage and found her clothes haphazardly strewn around the bedroom along with Regina's clothes. In her panic, she dressed as quickly as she could manage and not once did she look back at Regina before slipping out of the bedroom and making a beeline down the stairs and out the front door.

Emma started walking down Mifflin Street quickly, her Bug nowhere in sight. She kept her head ducked low as she approached Main, the odd early morning jogger passed her by and calling out a friendly greeting that went unacknowledged. With her hands shoved into the pockets of her red leather jacket, she walked quickly down the otherwise quiet and nearly empty street towards the apartment in the building next to her parents' place that she now called home.

The key stuck, as it always did, and she shoved the heavy wood door open as she bit her lip, the noise more than likely waking Henry up. She shrugged out of her jacket before she locked the door behind her and slung it over the back of the couch. She headed straight for her bedroom, swiftly shutting the door behind her just as she heard Henry's bedroom door open. Her heart was racing and her mind was in a panic as she stripped out of her clothes and pulled on a pair of well-worn flannel pajama bottoms and a fresh, clean black tank.

"Mom?" Henry called out before knocking on her door. "Mom, are you awake?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you just get in?"

"No?" Emma winced at her automatic response, hating the fact that lying to her fifteen year old son came all too easily.

"Mom?" Henry said tentatively after a moment and he opened the door. "Did you just get in?" He asked again, looking right at her as she stood in the middle of her small bedroom near the foot of her bed. "You did, didn't you?"

"What are you doing up?" Emma asked, avoiding his question. "It's Saturday. You always sleep until noon."

"Mom," Henry berated and he rolled his eyes. "I heard you come in. You can't exactly be stealthy with the door and the way it sticks."

"Fine," she sighed as she threw her hands up and let them fall to her side. "I just got in. Happy?"

"Whatever," Henry shrugged. "Why are you acting funny?"

"It's like seven in the morning, kid. I'm not acting funny. I'm exhausted."

"Bet you are. You were out all night. Were you working or something?"

"No," Emma replied with a shake of her head. If Henry knew she'd gone out drinking with his other mother and landed in bed with her in her drunken state, she'd never live it down. "No, I wasn't working. I was…out with a friend."

"Drinking," Henry stated as he scrunched up his nose. "Don't bother lying to me, Mom, I can smell the alcohol on you from here."

"Henry—"

"You weren't out with Hook, were you?" Henry asked immediately, a look of disappointment falling on his face. "Mom, I thought you said you and Hook were done. Did you lie to me?"

"No! We are done! I didn't lie to you."

Henry had his best skeptical face on and Emma was silently hoping he'd just give up and leave her be, but this was her son and much like herself, he'd developed her very same superpower of being able to tell when someone is lying just over the past few years. The only problem with that was the fact that his was a hell of a lot better than hers ever had been.

"Why do you have a hickey?" Henry asked, leaning up against the doorframe as he crossed his arms over his chest. Emma's hand flew to her neck and he rolled his eyes. "Other side."

"Henry—"

"Are you dating someone you haven't told me about because I'm totally fine with you dating again. Just as long as you didn't get back with Hook," he stated plainly. "Who is it?"

"Nobody!"

"Mom," he groaned, rolling his eyes. "I'm not a stupid, naïve little kid anymore. I know a hickey when I see one and that," he said as he looked at her pointedly, "is one hell of a hickey."

Emma groaned as she covered the tender, bruised spot on the left side of her neck with her hand. There was no point in denying it, Henry wasn't a naïve little kid anymore, but the last thing she wanted to do was tell him that she'd woken up in his other mother's bed that morning. That was something she was still trying to process herself and she didn't need a hundred different questions from her teenage son about it either.

"Fine," he muttered. "Don't tell me, whatever. I'm going back to bed."

"Henry—"

"Just tell me it wasn't Hook."

"I already told you it wasn't!"

"Fine!" Henry gave up, pushed himself off the doorframe, and stalked off back into his own bedroom.

Emma groaned loudly and made a beeline for the bathroom, pulling her hair away from her neck as she walked up to the sink and looked into the mirror. Henry was right. It was one hell of a hickey. Regina had done a number on her and in a panic, she started searching for more, finding one hidden out of sight on the top of her breast and another on the right side of her hip, but they paled in comparison to the one on her neck.

She hung her head as she closed her eyes and gripped on to the edge of the sink tightly. How the _hell_ did she end up in Regina's bed? She knew they'd been drinking and the waitress had been serving them shot after shot. They'd been talking about relationships at one point, a few drinks in, but what was said was something Emma couldn't quite remember.

It wasn't out of the norm for them to have deep conversations over a couple of drinks, but last night had not just been a couple of drinks. From the way Emma's head was pounding, it had been too many shots. Her last clear memory was of Regina demanding that the waitress leave the bottle with them and they moved from the counter to one of the booths. After that, she couldn't remember a single thing.

A new wave of panic flooded through her suddenly. Did Regina remember what had happened last night? If she did, Emma realized, it would create a problem between them undoubtedly.

It had taken them years to form a friendship, to trust one another, years to get to where they were now and that was all possibly ruined by the fact that they'd been driven into Regina's bed by at least ten too many tequila shots.

Ten might have been a stretch, but the way the tiny hammers in her skull were pounding against her brain, she didn't doubt it if it had been that many at all.

After she washed up, she crawled into her own bed and buried her face into the pillow. She was exhausted and her body ached in a way that she couldn't deny was a deliciously satisfying ache. She wanted so very badly to remember what had happened last night and there was no doubt that Regina had fucked her extremely well. She hadn't felt that sated sexually in a long time, but she was struggling to come to terms with the fact that Regina was the reason she felt that way.

They were friends, they were _just friends_.

[X]

Despite the fact that Emma never normally worked on weekends, she found herself at the station and in her office, the lights off and the blinds shut tight late in the afternoon. She'd felt wound up after sleeping for a few hours in her own bed and woke up without the pleasant feeling of the hangover to end all hangovers. She'd gone for a four mile run in hopes of unwinding, but all that left her was with her sweaty clothes sticking to her and the thoughts of the night before still running rampant around in her mind. So, she'd showered, dressed and left a still sleeping Henry a note that she was going down to the station for a few hours and that she'd bring some pizza home for dinner later that night.

A mountain of paperwork lay on her desk, paperwork she would've done right away if Regina had still been the mayor of Storybrooke. Her mother still held that position and her mother never demanded for the paperwork to be done and handed in by a certain date or time. In fact, she hadn't touched a single piece of paper in weeks and all it was doing was sitting there cluttering up her already cluttered desk.

Her phone buzzed twice indicating she had a text and she turned it over to see the notification that the text was from Regina. The fifth one she'd gotten—and was not going to reply to—since she left her apartment hours ago. She swiped to unlock the phone, entered her password, and opened the messages app to read what Regina had sent this time.

**_I know you are ignoring me because of what happened last night and I can assure you that if you would much rather pretend that it never happened, then so be it, but stop acting like a stubborn child. The least you can do is respond._**

Emma frowned, as she read the text, reading each word and hearing Regina's voice—an angry one no doubt—as she read along slowly. The last thing she wanted to do was piss Regina off and even though, once upon a time, she'd loved doing just that, dealing with a pissed off Regina now that they were friends was a lot more difficult than it used to be. Just as she was about to hit the sleep button, another text came through from Regina again.

**_I am coming down to the station as Henry just informed me that you decided to work today. You left something behind last night that I am sure you would want for it to be returned._**

Emma's eyes widened as she shook her head and was about to text Regina back when she jumped from her chair, startled at the sharp knock on her open office door. Regina rolled her eyes as she strolled into the office and stopped beside her desk.

"I know you well enough to know that if I sent that last text any longer than five minutes ago, you would've fled," Regina said, her voice sounding disaffected and bored. "Planning to reply any time soon, dear?"

"I—I was just about to," Emma stammered and instead she put her phone face first down on her desk and stared up at Regina. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to return something of yours," Regina replied with a half-hearted shrug. "I could ask you the very same thing as I know you never work on the weekends, not voluntarily at least."

"What is it? I'm sure it's nothing important because I have my phone, my wallet and my keys and I—" Emma's mouth dropped open as Regina casually pulled out her panties and dropped them on top of her desk. "Regina? What the hell?"

"The next time you decide to sneak out of my bed and my house without waking me or saying goodbye, at least try to remember to collect all of your personal belongings on your way out."

"Wait, next time?" Emma's eyes went wide in shock and Regina rolled her eyes as she casually crossed her arms over her chest. "Regina, about last night—"

"We need to talk about last night, Emma."

"That's just the thing, I don't want to talk about it!" Emma exclaimed and she snatched her panties off her desk, red-faced as she stuffed them in her jacket pocket. "Last night, we both had too much to drink and I think maybe it was just a mistake, a stupid drunken mistake. I think it's better if we don't mention what happened last night at all, okay?"

Emma couldn't even look at Regina and if she had, she would've seen the crestfallen look on her face in that very moment. Instead, Emma leaned back in her chair and clenched her eyes tight as she ran her fingers through her hair roughly.

"I don't want last night to change anything between us, Regina. Believe it or not, you're like one of my best friends now and I know you know that I don't use that term lightly."

"I see."

"Look, I'm sure it was great and everything, but—"

"You don't remember," Regina stated softly. "Do you?"

"Of course I don't remember, I was drunk out of my mind last night, Regina, and so were you!"

"That doesn't mean that I don't remember what happened last night."

Emma flushed a deeper shade of red at the surety in Regina's voice. "Oh god," she moaned under her breath and buried her face in her hands. "Please, don't tell me what happened. I _don't_ want to know what happened last night."

"Fine," Regina said, her tone now sharp and cold as the tension grew thicker between them. "We shall never speak of last night again if that is what you would rather us do. In fact, I'm starting to think that the fact you don't remember is a blessing in itself."

"Regina—"

"I think that perhaps we should cancel our plans for lunch tomorrow."

"What, why?"

"You know why, Emma," she snapped and she shook her head. "Tell Henry—tell him whatever you want, just make sure you tell him I'll make it up to him somehow sometime soon. I know that he was looking forward to our Sunday lunch as he always does."

"Regina—"

"Goodbye, Sheriff."

Regina turned on her heels and stormed out of her office and Emma groaned loudly as she threw her head back across the edge of the chair hard. She shuddered when she heard the front door of the station slam shut upon Regina's hasty exit and she swallowed thickly, now feeling guilty for an entirely different reason than she had before.

Now Regina was pissed at her and had cancelled their weekly lunch together with Henry because of the way she'd reacted about what had happened between them. While she didn't remember exactly what had happened between them, Regina did and she had acted as if everything was perfectly fine and as normal as ever. Maybe she should've just sucked up the embarrassment and approached it like an adult and talked to Regina about it because it was clear that Regina was unaffected by the fact that they'd had sex. It didn't matter now because Regina was pissed.

Emma groaned again and slid down in her chair as she looked up at the ceiling. "Fuck."

[X]

Regina huffed under her breath as she marched down the sidewalk to where she'd parked her car just up the street. Barely half an hour ago she had decided that going to Emma instead of repeatedly being ignored was a good idea, yet now she was questioning herself and her mind clearly hadn't recovered from the hangover she'd woken up with either.

What on earth was she thinking? Of course Emma was acting like a child, a stubborn one at that. They'd had sex and if Regina was being honest with herself—and there was no reason not to be—it had been the best sex she'd ever experienced in her life. It didn't matter that they'd both been drunk and that it'd been a little sloppy and a little rough at times, it still had been far better than any of her past sexual experiences.

Gritting her teeth, she unlocked her car and climbed in, ignoring the friendly greeting by Archie as he walked Pongo on the other side of Main Street. She slid the key into the ignition and found her eyes suddenly clouding over with tears. A small lump formed in her throat as she struggled to hold the tears back. She was _not_ going to cry over Emma Swan and the one night of bliss they'd had together. That was all it was, one night. Or rather, a _mistake_ as Emma had called it.

Yet, the tears remained and she was in no state to drive just yet. She remembered the feeling of the way her stomach had dropped in disappointment when she woke up that morning, alone in her bed. She had hoped to wake up next to the woman who had fucked her senseless the night before. She had hoped to wake up and have round two—well, technically if she was counting, it'd be round six. She had hoped to wake up to Emma kissing her from her deep slumber and maybe not professing her love for her, but at least looking at her the way she had the night before, like there was nobody else in the world but her.

Regina rubbed at her watery eyes, all too aware that the people that were walking on the sidewalk were now staring at her. Shaking, she slid the key out of the ignition and in a split second she disappeared in a swirl of purple smoke, transporting herself to the comfort, safety, and privacy of her own home.

What had she been thinking when she kissed Emma first? The tequila had given her a false sense of bravery and it had been the way that Emma was laughing, the way she kept looking at her, that gave her that final push to conquer the fear that surrounded her and her feelings for the infuriating blonde woman. What had she been thinking? Clearly, she hadn't been thinking at all.

"Idiot."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews/follows/faves so far you guys! I'm really excited about this one and I know nobody will see the few surprises, twists and turns I have in store for this one. Do enjoy and don't forget to review if you like it (or even hate it)**

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It was three days before Emma ran into Regina after the incident at the sheriff's station on Saturday. It was also, coincidentally, the first time they'd gone that long without seeing one another in well over a year. Henry noticed, of _course_ Henry had noticed and Emma went to great lengths to avoid his pressing questions he fired at her every chance he got. So, when she ran into Regina at the diner during her lunch break, she tried to turn around without being spotted and beeline it out of there, but it was just her luck that her very own mother called out for her and that, in turn, had Regina looking away from the Storybrooke Daily Mirror she was reading from and she looked right at her with a small smile dancing over tightly pressed lips.

"Emma, why don't you join us?" Snow smiled, holding a two and a half year old Neal on her lap as he squirmed to get free.

"Uh, I was just going to, you know, grab my lunch to go and head back to the station," Emma said awkwardly and Snow clicked her tongue and pointed to the seat across from her in the booth.

"Sit, sweetie," Snow smiled up at her and with a slight huff, Emma sat down. "I feel like I haven't seen you since last week. What have you been doing?"

"Working mostly," she shrugged and idly scratched at the back of her neck, thankful that she remembered one of the healing spells Regina had taught her almost eight months ago or else her conversation with her mother would've been a hundred times more awkward.

"Really?" Snow looked skeptical, but her attention was pulled back to the toddler on her lap as he grabbed a handful of french fries and attempted to shove all of them into his mouth. "One at a time, Neal, remember? Last time you choked and you cried, baby boy. Let's not have that happen again, okay? I'm sure your big sister doesn't want to hear you cry during lunch."

Neal mumbled under his breath, toddler language only Snow seemed to understand these days and Emma couldn't help but smile at her baby brother. Although he was still young, he was just as stubborn as she was at his age and he was such a handful, she almost felt bad for her mother at times for having to deal with that.

"You're just working?" Snow asked, still fixated on Emma while wrestling to get Neal to let go of the handful of fries in his tightly clenched fist. "Nothing else?"

She was prying and Emma knew she only pried when she had a reason to. She rolled her eyes and picked at the napkin in front of her. "What did Henry tell you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Mom," Emma groaned and she reached across the table to help her mother free the fries from Neal's tightly clenched fist. "What did Henry tell you?"

Snow leaned forward, a slight blush creeping over her cheeks. "He said you came home early on Saturday morning after having been out all night and that you had a hickey," she whispered, her voice not trailing far under the din of the diner during the lunch rush. "Emma, are you seeing someone that you haven't mentioned?"

"What? No! I'm not seeing anyone!"

"But he said—"

"Do you see a hickey anywhere?" Emma asked and she subconsciously bit her lip in the way she did when she lied to either of her parents. Upon Snow's reluctant shake of her head, Emma leaned back in the booth and sighed. "I'm not seeing anyone, okay? Let's just drop it. I'm in no mood to talk about the entire lack of love in my life right now."

"I never said anything about love, I just simply inquired about—" Snow suddenly snapped her mouth shut and smiled. "Hello, Regina."

"Hello, Snow," Regina smiled and she looked over at Emma. "Hello, Emma."

"Hi."

"I've thought about your proposal," Regina said, her focus solely on Snow. "I would absolutely love to be on the financial committee to help with the town's budget."

"I should've asked sooner," Snow said with a slight frown. "I was so sure we had it handled, but the budget every month goes far too quickly and despite our best efforts, we're not entirely certain where some of the money is going."

"If anyone is pocketing money that belongs to the town, I will find out once I have access to the most recent books. When would you like for me to start?"

"Does tomorrow morning work for you?"

"Of course."

"Great," Snow grinned up at her. "I'll see you at the office around, nine-thirty?"

"Ten," Regina replied in a tone that almost had Emma laughing and it would've if she wasn't so nervous just being in Regina's very presence. "I'll leave you two to your little family lunch."

"Regina? Why don't you join us?" Snow asked quickly and Emma had to resist the urge to kick her mother under the table. "It's been a while since the three of us have had lunch together."

Emma tried not to wince and failed miserably, but thankfully Regina caught the look on her face and she smiled politely down at Snow and shook her head no.

"I've got some errands I should get started on, but thank you for your offer. Another time, perhaps?" Regina said easily and Snow, as disappointed as she looked for a moment, just nodded her head and returned the polite smile. "I'll see you tomorrow at ten."

Emma found herself watching Regina as she walked up to the counter, paid her bill and with her head held high, she strolled out of the diner like the queen she once had been and still was, despite all of their previous titles making no difference there in Storybrooke and outside of the Enchanted Forest.

"Emma?"

"What?"

"Did you and Regina get into another argument?"

"No, why?" Emma asked with nothing but confusion splayed over her face. Snow gave her a rather pointed look and she fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I've just been working, we haven't really, you know, hung out lately."

"I know for a fact that you two were in here on Friday night slinging back tequila shots like they were water," Snow said gently, her tone not accusing in any way or form. "Emma, did something happen between you two?"

"What?" Emma squeaked and she felt her cheeks burning despite her best effort to keep any kind of expression from falling over her face. "What are you talking about?"

"What I'm talking about is what I just saw," Snow replied gently. "You two were being awkward. Why? I thought you two were friends now, sweetie?"

"We are friends."

"So, nothing happened?" She pressed and Emma forcefully shook her head no. "You're sure?"

"I'm sure!"

"Why don't you order some lunch?" Snow said, and she waved over one of the waitresses before sliding out of the booth with Neal in her arms. "I'm going to take him to the bathroom and get him cleaned up a little bit."

Emma sighed and smiled as she watched her mother carry her little brother towards the bathrooms at the back of the diner. When the waitress approached the booth, Emma placed her usual order and sat back to wait. Barely five minutes passed before she felt her phone buzz in her jacket pocket and she slipped it out, swiped at the screen, and punched in her passcode. She had taken all her notifications off from appearing on her lock screen after those texts she'd received from Regina on Saturday, preferring not to have small panic attacks every time she even just used her phone to check the time.

**_We need to talk. I know you are avoiding me, but you need to know that you do not need to for any longer. I am going to respect your wishes to forget what happened between us. I'd like for you to come over for dinner tonight. You are welcome to bring our son, as I know he'll want to join us. Dinner will be ready for six. Sharp._**

Emma sighed as she stared down at the text. Regina was always wordy in her texts and it was just something that she was used to with her by now. After a few minutes of hesitation, she quickly typed up a reply and sent it, promising Regina she would be at the house just before six with their son in tow. After that text was sent, she sent one to Henry informing him that he needed to be at home when she got home from the station instead of going off with Nick and his other friends after school as they did nearly every day.

Just as she slid her phone back into her pocket, she spotted little Neal running out of the bathroom and making his way as quick as his little legs could take him towards the door. He was quick, but she was faster and she scooped him up before he made it within a foot of the door. Neal squealed and giggled as Emma tickled him senseless while carrying him back to the booth just as a very frazzled Snow exited the bathroom.

"Remember what we talked about, buddy?" Emma asked Neal as she stared down at him. "We behave when we're anywhere but home right?"

"No."

"Kid, I know how fun it is to give Mom a hard time, but cut her a break sometimes, will ya?"

Neal glared up at her in a way only a two and a half year old could and Emma tried not to laugh at the very serious look on his cute little face.

"Neal," Snow said in a firm voice that did nothing to cover her lack of patience. "What did Mommy say about running off?"

"It bad?"

"Yes, very bad, sweetie."

Neal pouted, his tiny yet chubby arms crossed over his chest and the laughter that Emma had suppressed before slipped out with ease. She reached over to ruffle Neal's shaggy blonde hair and the smirk he gave her was one she knew all too well, the very same, smirk only the children of Snow White and Prince Charming could wield in a moments notice.

Emma didn't even try to stop her baby brother when the waitress placed her order down in front of him and he immediately made a grab for the fresh, hot French fries on her plate. He yelped at how hot they were and let go, the slightly mushed fries scattering all over the table. Emma frowned while Snow just shook her head tiredly and plucked out more napkins than what was necessary from the dispenser and got to work at wiping the grease and the salt from a now crying Neal's hands.

Despite her obvious hunger, Emma stared down at her cheeseburger blankly. As hungry as she was, as much as she'd been craving that cheeseburger, she hadn't anticipated on running into Regina on her lunch break. That, in itself, had broken her otherwise insatiable appetite.

Why was she letting her one-night stand with Regina affect her so much? She couldn't understand why and yet, in the back of her mind, she _knew_ why, she just wasn't ready to accept it. She wasn't even sure at that point if she ever would.

They were just friends. Nothing more.

[X]

Regina wiped her hands on her apron before closing the oven door and setting the timer. Her specialty, lasagna, would be ready in just over an hour, and despite making it on a weekly basis, she knew not only did Henry enjoy it, but Emma did as well. Even if she never verbally expressed it since the orgasmic moans that she made while eating it gave it all away.

She wasn't entirely certain how she'd keep herself composed throughout dinner, not now after she'd heard Emma moan continuously while she was tongue deep inside of her just days ago. A sudden ripple of arousal coursed throughout her body just thinking of last Friday night and she roughly tugged at her apron, pulling apart the loose knot that tied it together and threw it on to the counter with a ragged huff.

Her relationship with Emma had always been nothing short of complicated. Until they had landed in her bed together, they'd had a fairly stable friendship and that now was complicated over the very fact that Emma was, as she had determined after her trip to the station the day afterwards, in complete and utter denial over what had transpired between them in their drunken haze.

They had a son together, something of which she had to remind herself for the umpteenth time in the last handful of days. It was their son that had ultimately brought them closer together and gave them reason to stay on friendly and less complicated terms.

That, in itself, was proving to be difficult after the night they'd had together and what made matters worse was the very fact that Emma was refusing to talk about it like civilized adults. Regina had already made up her mind after the slight meltdown Emma had following her visit to the sheriff's station that Saturday afternoon. She knew Emma, inside and out—at least she liked to think she did—and seeing her in full on denial mode had done something to her. Something that pulled at the weak strings of her heart and it had been something that had ultimately questioned her very decision that had made her confident enough to make that first move.

She had not felt this way, not even with Robin before and shortly after Emma had brought his previously dead wife back from the past. She had not felt this way in longer than she cared to remember. Only one other person in her entire life, pre-curse and afterwards had ever made her feel the way she felt now, only one other had only ever made her heart skip a beat or two more than a handful of times and just from being in their very presence.

She was an _idiot_ for falling in love with Emma Swan. That much she was certain of now. Ever since Daniel had told her to love again and she tried so very hard to let him go, her heart had been broken over and over again. She could not control the way she felt no matter how hard she had tried and magic most definitely wasn't an option, not when it came to love.

Regina opened the bottle of wine she'd brought up from the cellar and poured a glass. She lifted it to her lips and took a sip, sighing at the taste of the vintage red wine as it slipped past her lips. A quick glance to the clock confirmed that Emma and Henry would be there shortly and she took another sip of the wine, her hand shaking as she lowered the glass to the counter.

Regina was in the process of wiping down the counter when Henry's voice rang throughout the house and she tossed the dishcloth into the sink just as he strolled into the kitchen. As he always did when he saw her, he wrapped his long arms around her in a tight embrace that made her laugh and she hugged her teenage son back just as tightly.

"It smells good in here, Mom."

"Thank you, Henry. I hope you're hungry."

"I'm always hungry," he chuckled.

"Where is Emma?"

"She called me a little while ago, told me to come anyway. Something about being held up at work," Henry shrugged and he made his way over to the fridge and grabbed a can of Coke that Regina kept in the house specifically for him. "She said she's still coming."

"I see," Regina sighed. "Is everything all right with her?"

"She's been working a lot. I just think she's tired," he shrugged again and sipped from the can slowly, slurping from in in a way that made Regina cringe and retrieve a glass and handed it to him with a pointed look. "I think she's seeing someone and she's not saying who."

"Whatever makes you think that?"

"She was out all night on Friday, didn't come in until early Saturday morning acting all weird. She even had this hickey on her neck that she acted like she didn't even know was there."

Even Regina knew that Emma had used healing magic to make it disappear. She herself had done the same thing with the handful of love bites she'd found marring her body after their night together. Despite concealing them with magic, even then in that moment she could feel the tender spots on her skin that still lingered and that still reminded her of that night.

"Who do you think it could be?"

"Hmm?"

"The guy that she's seeing and won't tell anyone about?"

"If she's seeing someone and not telling you, dear, there might be a reason for that."

"It's not Hook, is it?" Henry asked, scrunching his face at just saying the pirate's name.

"I do not know."

Henry stared at her for a moment and she tried to keep any telltale signs from showing plainly. Like Emma, Henry could tell when someone was lying and it was a gift that got better with every passing day. She lifted her glass of wine to her lips, sipping from it before she exhaled slowly. Henry was fixated on the thought of his mother seeing someone and the very last thing that Regina wanted and needed was for him to find out about what had truly happened that night.

Regina did know that if Henry knew, he would be all for them pursuing a relationship together. She was more than certain he'd be the first one rooting for them and wanting nothing more than for things to work out between them. But a relationship was something she and Emma could never have and for quite a few obvious reasons, the first being the fact that she was now convinced that Emma would never want something more than friendship with her. There were also her parents and while she was on friendly, civil terms with them now, Snow would certainly not be a supporter of Emma having a romantic relationship with her.

"I just want her to be happy," Henry mused quietly. "I mean, she was before and I don't know what happened, but I don't like seeing her like this."

"Like how, dear?"

"She's just…acting weird. Whatever, right? Maybe I'm just overthinking this and it's probably nothing, right?"

"I suppose so."

"Can I go play Call of Duty until dinner, Mom?"

"I haven't moved your Xbox, so yes, of course. I'll call for you when dinner is ready."

Henry all but ran out of the kitchen and Regina chuckled to herself, musing how some things truly never changed when it came to her teenage son. Despite the fact that he did come to stay with her a few times throughout the week, his time was spent mostly at the apartment with his other mother. They had an arrangement they had come to an agreement with when things had calmed down in Storybrooke, one that left the three of them happy with.

Regina downed the rest of the wine in her glass before pouring another. When her phone started to ring from where she'd left it charging on the counter, she picked it up and answered.

"You're late," she said, skipping past her usual standard greeting. "You better have a damn good excuse for being late for dinner, Emma."

"Is it ready now or something?"

"It will be shortly. Where are you?"

"On a call," Emma replied with a sigh. "A couple of the Lost Boys broke into the storage warehouse beside the cannery, trashed the place. I'm just on my way down there to speak with the owner. He wants to press charges."

"I see."

"Look, Regina—"

"You're not coming, are you?" Regina asked, trying in vain not to sound as disappointed as she felt. "Avoidance is a tactic you seem to have perfected over the last handful of days it seems."

"I'm not avoiding you. I told you, I'm on a call and I need to deal with this because this is a part of my job, Regina."

"Right, of course," she snapped. "I'll send some lasagna home with Henry for you later."

Regina didn't bother to say goodbye or to listen to another word that Emma had to say before hanging up on her. She placed her phone back down on the counter and checked the lasagna in the oven before picking up her glass of wine to take another sip.

One way or another, they would have to talk about what happened between them and they would sort this mess they'd fallen into as well. Above all else, Regina was determined not to let this affect their friendship. She valued her friendship with Emma far too much just to let it fall apart all because they'd had sex after a night of drinking one too many tequila shots together.

She rolled her eyes when she heard her text tone go off and she picked her phone back up. Unable to fight the smile that curled over her lips as she read it, she placed it back down and took another sip of her wine.

**_I'll be there in ten minutes._**

Emma was coming for dinner after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: It may be my birthday today (big scary 3-0!) but I thought I'd give you guys a little gift anyway! Do Enjoy and please remember to leave a review so I know if you like what you're reading so far or not! I always love and appreciate hearing from the readers :)**

* * *

Lying was not something she was good at, but rather something that came far too easy for her when it was convenient. There was no call about a break-in at the warehouse next to the cannery and yet, when she'd made that call to Regina to try and get out of their plans for dinner, it had sounded so very convincing in her head. The truth was that she wasn't sure she could face Regina in the privacy of her home, even if their son was there with them.

Avoidance had become her tactic and she was failing miserably at hiding that fact. Regina was right about her having perfected it. She'd literally gone out of her way far too many times to count just to avoid running into her.

It was bordering ridiculous and even she knew that. She was thirty-two, almost thirty-three years old and she knew the way she was acting was juvenile at best. She'd had sex with Regina, someone who was a friend. It wasn't like there were other feelings being harbored between them and she knew there was no reason for her to think otherwise. She had spent the afternoon trying to convince herself that if Regina had any feelings towards her that went beyond friendship, she would have at least seen some signs of it at one point or another.

Regina, at best, was difficult to deal with most of the time, but Emma knew that applied to herself as well. She knew that despite their differences and the ways their personalities clashed, they still managed to find a common ground together, one main factor being their son. They had faced a lot of challenges over the years and she knew it was utterly ridiculous just to forget all of that just because they'd had sex one time.

Emma still couldn't remember what happened that night and she had spent countless of hours trying to get those memories to surface. She wanted to know who had made that first move because she was solely convinced that even drunk, she wouldn't have made a move on Regina. That in turn had her wondering if it had been Regina that made that first move and what would have even compelled her to do just that.

Did Regina have feelings for her that went beyond friendship, or had it just been too much alcohol that had clouded her senses? No matter how Emma looked at it, there was no denying that it had actually happened in the end.

Emma knew she had to just let it go and move on. If she didn't, the whole situation would drive her crazy and it would cause a huge setback in their friendship. It was something she didn't want to happen because everything was just so much easier when she and Regina got along. Shaking it off, she pulled away from the curb where she'd parked earlier at the other end of Mifflin Street and drove down to Regina's house.

She parked the cruiser on the street by the front gate and once she mustered up some courage she was seriously lacking, she got out of the car and headed up the front walkway to the door. They had gotten to the point where whenever Emma would come over, she would just walk in without knocking. She even had a key to the house that Regina had given to her just a few months back. Emma inhaled deeply, wiped her hands on her thighs before she walked into the house.

She walked up the four steps into the foyer and inhaled deeply. The smell of lasagna filled her senses and already her mouth was watering and her stomach grumbling in anticipation for dinner. She could just faintly hear the unmistakable sounds of Henry playing video games in the den and she headed into the kitchen where she found Regina leaning against the island countertop with a glass of red wine in her left hand. Beside her was an empty glass and an open bottle of wine and she indicated to the glass and Emma just nodded.

"Regina—"

"Emma—"

"You go first," Emma said in a rush.

"Right," Regina nodded and she paused to pour Emma a glass of wine and slid it towards her. They stood on opposite ends of the island, putting a few feet of space between them. "I do realize that you are unwilling to talk about what happened, but unfortunately I believe it is inevitable."

"Sure."

Regina glanced down at the glass in her hand and sighed. "We're both adults here," she started and she didn't take her gaze away from her wine glass. "We should be able to talk about what happened that night and move on."

"I agree."

"Do you not remember at all?"

"I told you I didn't," Emma replied quietly. "I still don't."

"I see," Regina said tightly, pausing to take a small sip of her wine before wetting her lips. "I don't suppose you want to know any details then?"

Emma had a feeling this would be her only chance to find out once and for all just who had made that first move. Beyond that evening, she knew she didn't want to talk about it again or even so much just think about it. The thinking about it part would be harder to ignore, but just knowing one small detail of what truly had transpired that night might help her move on.

"Did you kiss me first?" Emma whispered so quietly she was sure that Regina hadn't heard her.

"Yes."

"What?"

Regina rolled her eyes and exhaled sharply. "Yes, I kissed you first, Emma."

Emma felt the burn in her cheeks and found it hard to look at Regina in that very moment. It was one thing to wonder about it and another to hear it straight from Regina herself. Knowing that it had been Regina who'd made the first move brought upon hundreds of other questions, questions she certainly wasn't going to bring up at all.

Regina said not a word as she put her nearly empty glass down and went to check on the lasagna in the oven. Emma's eyes lingered on her backside for a few seconds before she realized what she was doing. How many times had she openly stared at Regina's ass before and how hadn't she realized she did that probably more times than she could even recall?

"Emma?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you hear what I just said?"

"What?" Emma asked, eyes wide as Regina stood in front of her. "You said something?"

"I asked you if you could go and tell Henry that dinner will be ready in five minutes."

Emma nodded, her mouth suddenly dry at the knowing look Regina gave her just before she turned on her heels and walked out of the kitchen quickly. Dinner was already going to be awkward and now it was going to be even worse. There was no denying that Regina had caught her openly staring at her ass, zoning out as she'd done just that. With a groan, she walked into the den and plopped herself on the couch next to her son.

"Dinner ready yet?"

"Another five minutes."

"Cool," Henry said, not taking his eyes off the TV for a moment. "Do you think I can stay over here tonight?"

"Not up to me, kid."

"That your way of saying yes?"

Emma rolled her eyes and bumped her shoulder into his. "Whatever. Ask your mom. I don't have a problem with you staying here tonight if that's what you want to do."

[X]

Dinner had been normal, much to Emma's surprise. Henry did most of the talking and told them of what he was learning now and how midterms were going to "kick his ass". Regina scolded him for swearing and made an offhanded comment about how he needs to not listen to his other mother when her tongue becomes a little loose. Other than that, they talked of nothing else, and after dinner was done, Henry was back in the den playing his game while Emma helped Regina clear the table of their dirty dishes.

They didn't speak while they did they rinsed the dishes and loaded the dishwasher up in the very way they always did, moving effortlessly around one another like it was something they did every single day. Regina helped herself to another glass of wine and Emma refused. She had to drive back to her apartment and be at work early the next morning. She'd nearly reminded Regina that she had to meet with Snow at ten, but then realized how stupid it'd be to say something like that to a woman who could clearly hold her alcohol better than most.

After she'd promised Henry she'd come around before he headed off to school the next morning to drop off his bag, she said good night to Regina and left. Now that she'd been home in her quiet, empty apartment for almost an hour, she found herself pacing in the small galley kitchen, eyeing the open bottle of rum that sat on the shelf about the refrigerator.

Eventually, after pacing for another half an hour, Emma gave up on the idea of having a couple of shots to help her sleep and headed for the small bathroom to run a bath. She stood by the side of the deep claw-foot tub, watching as it slowly filled and when it reached halfway, she stripped out of her clothes and eased her body into the hot water. Her neck felt tense, everything felt tense, and she felt so completely drained, mentally and physically.

Regina had kissed her first. Ever since she'd admitted as much, her thoughts centered around the reasons why Regina had kissed her first, and it didn't matter how much she tried to think of anything else, it was right there at the front of her mind continuously.

Sighing as she shut the tap off with her foot, she laid her head back on the edge of the tub and closed her eyes, willing her mind to quiet even just for a little while so she could enjoy a nice hot bath to help relax her tense body.

One thing had bothered her since she'd shown up at Regina's house for dinner and it was the way that Regina seemed to be completely indifferent to what had happened between them. Emma wasn't sure how she expected her to act or even treat her, but the way she did had been surprising. They never really talked about past relationships or even their sexual histories. It had been one of those subjects that remained taboo between the two. Emma didn't know if Regina had ever been with women before, but just remembering how sated and sore her body had been the morning she woke up in her bed told her there was a high chance that she wasn't the first woman Regina had had sex with.

Regina certainly hadn't been her first either, but it wasn't like she was experienced when it came to having sex with other woman. Her first time had been when she was a teenager with a girl she thought was an orphan like she was. Lily. The time she'd spent with her had been one of the best times of her young life. In between pigging out on junk food and playing video games, they had shared their first kiss and a whole lot more. It had been sloppy and awkward and Emma was pretty sure neither of them came close to having an orgasm, but it had been her first sexual experience and one she definitely hadn't thought of in a very, very long time.

When the bath water started growing cold, she pulled the plug and got out. She padded to her bedroom with just a fluffy white towel wrapped around her body and a smaller one she used to towel off the lower half of her hair that had gotten wet. After she changed into a pair of old flannel pajama bottoms and found a clean black t-shirt, she crawled into bed and made sure her alarm was set on her phone.

That was when she saw the text from Regina that had been sent while she'd been soaking in the bath. It wasn't anything really, nothing that made her read between the lines, just a simple request that she pack Henry a lunch since she didn't have much of anything to make one for him herself.

Emma hit the sleep button on her phone and turned out the light. It didn't take long for all those questions that had been running rampant through her mind earlier to come back. With a groan, she grabbed the other pillow and pulled it over her head.

It was going to be another long, sleepless night.

[X]

Regina strolled through the doors of her old office, her nose scrunching in disgust at the sight of the way it was now decorated to Snow's personal tastes. Gone was the forest wallpaper and painted a soft pink. Gone were the modern furnishings and replaced with furniture that looked to be from a second-hand store and the walls were covered in disastrous paintings of various woodland animals and on the wall closest to the gaudy antique desk were filled with framed pictures of Snow White and her family.

"Regina, hey, I didn't know you were here already," Snow said, sounding a little bit startled as she strolled into the office carrying a tray with a teapot, two teacups and a plate of what Regina could tell were freshly baked cookies. "Why don't you have a seat and we'll get started?"

"Of course."

After the tea had been poured and Regina shifted uncomfortably on the plaid sofa, Snow retrieved the files that contained all of the finances for the town. While Snow babbled on and on about how she thought they'd been careful with the funds, how they thought every cent was going to where it was supposed to be, Regina looked over the records with a careful eye, starting from the moment she'd been forced out of office as the mayor and onwards.

She easily tuned Snow out, her focus on the numbers written down. While she had a few colorful words she wanted to say, she bit her tongue, deciding that she wasn't in the mood to trade a few distasteful barbs at the woman that morning.

She had successfully managed not to think about Emma Swan at all that day and was almost thankful when Henry had run out of the house, shouting that he was running late and was going to meet up with his other mother halfway. It meant she didn't have to see Emma that morning at all and it was likely for the better since her dreams had been a vivid reliving of their night together.

"I think we should take a break," Snow said as she retried the empty teacup from in front of Regina on the coffee table. "It's almost lunch. Are you hungry?"

"I'm fine, Snow."

"But can we take a little break anyway? I was hoping we could talk."

"Talk about what?" Regina asked as she closed the folder and placed it on top of the others she'd already went through.

"Emma."

"What about her?"

"Is she seeing someone?" Snow asked quietly and Regina fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I mean, she's been acting really weird lately and Henry said she went out last Friday night and didn't come home until early the next morning. He also said she had a hickey!"

"Snow—"

"She's not back with Hook, is she? We all know how disastrous that relationship turned out and I keep hoping that she knows better than to get back with him after everything they went through."

"Have you asked her?" Regina asked and Snow nodded. She put up a hand to keep her from speaking anymore. "If she tells you that she's not seeing someone, then I suggest you take her word for it."

"Do you think she just, you know, had sex with someone?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Because she won't talk about it!"

Regina sighed and leaned back on the uncomfortable sofa and crossed her legs with ease. She'd always been particularly good at keeping a straight face and making herself unreadable and for that she was thankful for now, especially with Snow trying to pry into her own daughter's life.

"Have you ever wondered why Emma doesn't always tell you everything that's going on in her life?" Regina asked her carefully. "She's always been a very private woman, you and I both know that. I'm inclined to believe that if she is seeing someone, perhaps she doesn't want to say anything because we all know what you're like, Snow White."

"And what am I like?"

"You like to meddle," Regina stated. "Don't try to deny that you do not."

"But I mean well when I meddle!"

"She's a grown woman," she reminded her. "I think you need to start thinking of that very fact and the fact that she wants to keep some parts of her life private."

"I'm her mother!" Snow groaned and she shook her head. "I just don't understand why she's still single. There are plenty of single men in Storybrooke that would be just perfect for her. Don't you agree?"

"Not necessarily," Regina replied, rolling her eyes as she realized she'd get nowhere in this conversation. "Does it bother you that she's still alone, that she isn't married and giving you more grandchildren?"

"If I say yes, are you going to tell her?"

"Do I look like I meddle?" Regina asked and Snow laughed softly. "Emma and I might be friends, but there are certain topics of discussion we never exchange, relationships being one of them and for quite the obvious reasons."

"What obvious reason?"

"Did you miss the part where I just reminded you that your own daughter is a very private woman?"

"I know, I'm just—"

"Worried about her," Regina finished, nodding lightly as she too felt the same way at times, but that would be something she'd never readily admit to the woman she had wanted to destroy at one point in their lives. "I understand."

"And what about you, Regina? You haven't been seeing anyone, have you?"

"That is a discussion I would rather not have right now and in fact," Regina said as she rose from the sofa slowly. "I think I'll take you up on that offer to break for lunch. I'm starting to feel a little bit peckish myself."

Snow's mouth gaped open for a second before she rose to her feet and led the way out of the office and down the hall to the small room that had a kitchenette and a table with a couple of chairs. Regina wasn't the slightest bit surprised that the refrigerator was well stocked with homemade dishes, fruits and vegetables, and cheese. Nor was she surprised when Snow quickly made up a couple of sandwiches and placed the plate down in front of her where she'd taken a seat at the table.

"Have you thought about the offer to join the Council, Regina?"

"I have and this would be about the hundredth time you've asked me this year."

"We'd love to have you on it," Snow said gently and she offered a friendly smile. "It's an open offer to take if you ever wanted to. I'm sure you miss—"

"Miss what? Having a career in politics in a small town? Having a title that doesn't have the word evil in it?" Regina snapped. "Of course I miss it, but I quite like the life I have now. I agreed to take a look at the finances and help you sort things out, but that is all I will do for you and this town, Snow White. The rest falls upon your shoulders, as you wished for it to be when the first curse broke."

"Regina, wait, I didn't mean—"

She shook her head, rising from the chair suddenly. "In fact, since I am not a paid employee and am here voluntarily, I believe I have had enough for one day. We'll continue another time. Let me know what works out better for you, hmm?"

Regina didn't even look back at Snow or at her untouched sandwich and she stormed down the hallway back to the office and grabbed her purse before leaving the building as quickly as her feet would take her.

Sometimes she forgot just how unnerving it was to spend more than a small amount of time with that woman and her temper would spike in a moments notice and usually over something so very small. While she knew she'd changed and was far from being the woman she once was, there were still parts of her that she knew would never change, her white-hot temper being one of them.

Regina slipped into her car and checked her phone just as a text came through and despite the rage she could feel coursing through her veins, she smiled down at her phone in spite of herself and all because of a one-worded text from Emma.

**_Lunch?_**

She wet her lips, thinking for a moment, before quickly typing up her answer.

**_Meet me at the diner in five minutes._**


	4. Chapter 4

Emma was already seated in her usual booth at the diner when she'd text Regina. She hadn't expected a reply so quickly or one the accepted her subtle lunch invitation. She'd spent the night in a fitful sleep, and then spent the morning with nothing else but Regina on her mind. She'd made up her mind to try to just get over the part of her that was freaking out about having sex with Regina—sex she didn't remember having at all. She just wanted to go back to the way that things had been between them before.

She had come to the conclusion that the only way that would happen would be for her to go back to having random weekday lunches with Regina at the diner, just as they normally did. With her father covering at the station, Ruby and Tink on call, she didn't need to worry if their lunch ended up going for longer than an hour. Things would be well covered for her at the station until she eventually returned.

Regina, true to her word, strolled into the diner almost exactly five minutes after she'd replied to her vague text. Emma didn't bother to try to hide her grin and she was greeted with one of Regina's brilliant, million dollar smiles as she approached the booth.

"How was the meeting with Snow?" Emma asked and she saw the eye roll coming long before it happened. "That bad, huh?"

"I'm surprised that I lasted as long as I did. I was just leaving when I got your text."

"Let me buy lunch then today, just as long as you didn't fireball my mother after she pissed you off," Emma smirked and it resulted in another eye roll, a playful one at that. "You didn't, did you? Because then the offer for a paid lunch is off the table."

"You do know how tempted I am at times, but unfortunately that did not happen. Only a few words were exchanged after I all but stormed out of there."

"You didn't just like transport or materialize yourself out of there and left her coughing in a cloud of purple smoke?"

"Hardly."

Emma smirked, loving the smug look their banter drew out of Regina because she knew for a fact that she was the only person who could pull that side of Regina out without dire consequences. Emma motioned to the waitress that they were ready to order and shrugged off her leather jacket.

"Are you ever going to teach me how to do that?"

"Do what, dear?"

"That thing you do."

"I do a lot of things," Regina replied and if Emma wasn't mistaken, her tone was that of a teasing, flirty nature. "There isn't really a term for it," she said after a moment. "Transport would be the closest to accurate term I suppose."

"Okay," Emma nodded. "So, when are you going to teach me?"

"It's difficult to teach."

"You've said the same thing about me before too," Emma chuckled and she turned to the waitress as she finally approached the table. "The usual?"

"Sure."

"We'll take the large garden salad, dressing on the side, a Coke and an iced tea," Emma said to the waitress. "Two extra plates and I'll have the cheeseburger, skip the fries. You want the—"

"Chicken club, no cheese, one extra slice of bacon," Regina finished with a slight nod.

"Okay, anything else?" The waitressed asked and after exchanging a look between one another, they both shook their head no. "Okay, I'll get your order as quickly as possible."

"So?"

"Hmm?"

"When are you going to teach me how to transport, Regina?"

"It is—"

"Difficult, I know, but so am I."

"Understatement of the year," Regina chuckled. "As I said, it is difficult to teach, but not entirely impossible. We'd need a controlled environment and stable emotions. Instability will cause a host of problems that neither of us can afford to risk."

"What, like I'll transport myself somewhere and land inside a wall?"

Regina rolled her eyes. "There are a lot of things that can go wrong, Emma. It took me many years to master it, to channel just the right amount of magical energy into the spell itself. If you really want to learn, I suppose we can continue our lessons."

"It's been a while."

"You haven't needed any since the last," Regina gently reminded her. "While your magic is powerful, it's still slightly instable. Have you been working at all on controlling it?"

"There haven't been any incidences," Emma replied with a frown. "Not since the last one."

The last incident had happened just over a year prior when Emma had been trying to conjure up some food in the middle of the night and set her kitchen on fire. While it had since been repaired, it was something Emma knew would always be referred to as "the incident" no matter how much time had passed since it happened.

She had learned a lot over the years from Regina when it came to magic and she'd also learned a few tricks of her own she knew Regina would disapprove of if she ever found out. In truth, she did miss the lessons with Regina, not only because they spent more time together, but also because she always felt a rush of energy, magical energy, when she practiced magic with her. If she could compare that feeling to anything else in the world, it was so very close to having the best orgasm of her life.

"Emma?"

"What?"

"Have you been working on controlling your magic?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Like I said, there haven't been any incidences since the last one."

"I wasn't asking about incidences," Regina muttered. "I was asking—"

"I don't even think about it anymore," Emma replied quickly. "Magic, I mean. Controlling it just has become a part of something I do naturally now."

"Without thinking about it?"

"Right," she nodded and she shifted on the bench seat, her stomach now beginning to remind her just how hungry she was. "So, what would be considered a stable environment? Nothing that is out in the open right?"

"A place you are familiar with such as your apartment or your parents' home, but I believe they will now allow for you to practice magic there, especially not if it involves using a slight bit of dark magic," Regina replied and she paused for a moment, her fingers picking aimlessly at the napkin in front of her. "Or perhaps my home would work as well."

"Okay, I think I get it," Emma chuckled quietly, not wanting to comment on practicing magic in Regina's house because she was familiar with it. "When can we do this?"

"Whenever you'd like," Regina replied, her eyes not quite meeting Emma's, instead they lingered on her own fingers as she picked at the napkin. "I'll leave it entirely up to you. Just let me know and we'll work something out."

"Great," Emma grinned as the waitress came to the booth with their order. "We'll discuss this more after we eat. I'm starving."

[X]

Regina paced the floor in her study, a glass of cider in her right hand as her left nervously fidgeted with her silver necklace. Lunch with Emma had been good, better than good. It'd been great. They had slipped back into their old pattern it seemed and for the first time in a handful of days, Emma hadn't been acting strangely around her.

After they spent an hour at lunch together, mostly discussing magic and what the lesson would require, Regina went to the vault while Emma went back to work at the station. She'd only stopped at the vault for one thing and that was to retrieve a spell book she'd need to aid her in the lesson and headed home. She had absolutely no idea when Emma would show up for the first of what she knew would be many lessons, but Emma had seemed to be rather enthused about learning to transport herself with magic.

It had been quite some time since they practiced magic together, and the last few lessons has been teaching Emma how to control the magic inside of her. Regina had only then in those last few lessons truly felt how powerful Emma's magic was and just being around her when her magic was at its peak was truly addictive and arousing. She wasn't going to deny that feeling, or that she craved it from the very first time she'd felt it when she tried to get Jefferson's hat to work. At the time, it had left her feeling confused, but now she simply just embraced that feeling the few times she was able to experience it.

Regina knew that the previous Friday night had been sparked by a lot more than one too many tequila shots. Many little things, especially with the attraction that she felt towards the blonde woman, had culminated it. It felt like a curse within itself that Emma remembered nothing of their night together when every night since, it was all that filled her dreams while she slept and all that filled her thoughts when she was awake. It was because Emma did not remember that made things to be far more difficult than they already were and she had briefly entertained the thought of conjuring up a potion that would wipe that night from her memories indefinitely.

She didn't want to forget the way it felt to kiss her or the way it felt when Emma's lips danced over her skin, and the way her hands had deftly explored her body. She didn't want to forget the way that Emma tasted against her lips and tongue or the way that Emma had moaned her name every time she came. She didn't want to forget how incredibly insatiable they'd both been and how she had struggled to stay awake just to take her one more time and to be taken just as hard.

She did, however, want to forget that heavy feeling of disappointment when she woke up to an empty bed the next morning. The disappointment had quickly turned to anger that morning and after nearly tripping over Emma's red panties that were left behind on her bedroom floor, she had felt that disappointment return tenfold. Of course Emma had fled the moment she woke up and realized what had transpired between them. Of course she did because who would want to be with someone like her? The former Evil Queen and the very reason that Emma had grown up without her parents, without family, an orphan who struggled to just survive one day at a time in a very harsh, cruel, and unforgiving world.

Downing the cider in her glass, Regina's hand shook as she placed it on the table next to the decanter. It was still too early in the day to be drinking, but she'd needed something to dull her senses, to stop the thoughts that ran rampant through her mind. Again, the thought of conjuring up a potion to make her forget entertained her thoughts and she cursed Emma silently for not needing a potion to forget the night they shared together. The tequila had taken care of that for her just as well.

For what felt like the hundredth time in a handful of days, she questioned her feelings, her heart for falling in love with Emma, her mind for remembering everything that transpired that night in vivid detail.

Her hands couldn't stop shaking as she picked up the decanter and poured herself another small glass of cider, one of her strongest batches in years, and the decanter clattered loudly as she placed it back down on the table and picked up the crystal glass with ease. She barely had the glass pressed to her lips when the doorbell rang, the sound echoing through the empty house.

A minute later she opened the door to find a smiling Kathryn Nolan standing on her front porch. Raising an eyebrow in surprise at the unexpected visit from her friend, she stepped aside to allow Kathryn to enter the house.

"I have some exciting news to share," Kathryn beamed as Regina shut the door behind her. "I wanted you to be one of the first to know."

"Oh? Know what, dear?"

"Frederick and I are expecting," she said softly, placing a hand over her otherwise flat abdomen.

"You are? That's wonderful news!" Regina smiled and she wasn't surprised in the least when Kathryn threw her arms around her and hugged her tightly. "How far along are you?"

"Nine weeks," she replied once she let go of Regina. "The baby is expected to arrive in the spring, sometime around the beginning of May."

"Congratulations, Kathryn," Regina said sincerely. "I'm truly happy for you and Frederick. I know that you two have been trying for some time now."

"Trying being the key word," Kathryn chuckled. "We spent the entire summer going at it like animals in heat."

"That would explain why I hardly saw you," Regina winked and she motioned for Kathryn to follow her to the kitchen. "Would you like some tea?"

"I would love some."

[X]

Things had been slow and quiet at the station ever since Emma returned from her lunch with Regina. She didn't mind slow or quiet, but these days that just left her fighting the thoughts inside her head continuously until she felt as if her very thoughts were set out to drive her insane on purpose. She wanted a call to come in, she wanted to keep herself busy, and yet no matter how hard she wished for it, the phone remained silent.

Emma picked up one of the darts on the edge of David's desk and she flung it at the dartboard, just missing the bull's eye by a hair. Ruby chuckled from where she laid out on the couch by the cells and stretched out her long limbs as she sat up.

"You missed," Ruby said as Emma marched over to the dartboard and plucked each dart out and walked back over to the desk. "You never miss."

"Guess I'm feeling a little off my game today."

Ruby shot her a skeptical look as she walked over to where she stood by the desk and took the darts out of her hand. "What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been off your game all week."

Emma rolled her eyes and headed into her office with Ruby hot on her heels. While she normally could talk to Ruby about anything, she definitely did not want to talk to her about Regina or the very fact that she'd had sex with Regina and couldn't remember any of it. She sat down heavily in her chair and narrowed her eyes at Ruby as she perched herself on the edge of her desk.

"It's been a slow week, what do you want me to say, Rubes?"

"It's not just that," Ruby said and she scrunched her nose a little. "You smell different."

"I _smell_ different?" Emma asked as she raised an eyebrow. "What the hell does that even mean?"

"I know it's weird and everything, but you do. Everyone has this distinct scent to them," Ruby replied and she tapped her nose lightly. "It's not like I do it on purpose. It's just something that I notice unintentionally, that's all. Like I was saying, everyone has their own scent and I know yours well because I'm around you nearly every single day, but it's been different this week."

"New body wash?" Emma shrugged uncomfortably. Why did one of her best friends have to be a wolf with heightened senses? Could she seriously smell Regina on her after it having been six days since they'd had sex? "I don't know what to tell you, Ruby."

"So, who is it?"

"What?"

"The guy you had sex with?" Ruby pressed and Emma rolled her eyes. "It's not Hook," Ruby stated as she inhaled sharply, making Emma grow increasingly uncomfortable. "It's familiar though," she continued. "I just can't seem to figure out who it belongs to."

"Ruby—"

"Look, Emma, even Henry is concerned and Snow called me while you were out with Regina for lunch. She was asking all sorts of questions about who it is you've been seeing lately. We've ruled out Hook because _no_ and I can't seem to think of anyone else in town that you'd—oh no."

"Oh no?"

"Emma, tell me you didn't!" Ruby gasped and she stared down hard at Emma for a moment, Emma growing even more uncomfortable with every passing second. "You did, didn't you?"

"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."

"Regina."

Emma couldn't hide it as her face burned hotly. Emma turned to look away from Ruby, but of course Ruby wasn't having any of that and she turned the chair until Emma had no choice but to meet her wide, surprised yet hard glare.

"Are you serious, right now, Em?" Ruby asked lowly. "Did you and Regina have sex? When did you and Regina have sex? How did you and—"

"Ruby, I don't want to talk about it!" Emma snapped and she shook her head, her face still burning hot with embarrassment that Ruby had figured it out because she could obviously still smell Regina all over her. "You say nothing to no one, okay? I mean it, Ruby. You tell absolutely nobody, not even Tink. I don't want my parents or Henry to find out."

"My lips are sealed," Ruby said in a hushed whisper. "How the hell did you two—"

"Ruby, I already told you that I don't want to talk about it. Can't you just leave it alone?"

Ruby shook her head and slipped off the desk, closing both doors before returning to her previous position. "You just went out for lunch with her. Are you two—"

"We're just friends, nothing more."

"So, you two aren't fucking then?" Ruby asked quietly and Emma shook her head no. "It's okay, you know, if you are, Em. It's not like I didn't see it coming."

"What?" Emma asked incredulously. "What do you mean you by that?"

"Exactly what I meant," Ruby replied. "It's hard not to look past the way you two look at each other sometimes. Honestly, I'm surprised it took this long for you two start fucking—"

"We're not fucking!" Emma snapped and she inhaled deeply in an attempt to calm herself down. "It was just one time. We'd been drinking. I don't even remember what happened, okay!"

"So, you had a one-night stand with Regina, a one-night stand that you don't remember jack shit about, and now you're what, walking around pretending like it never even happened?"

"That's the gist."

"And what about Regina?"

"What about her?"

"She didn't forget, did she?" Ruby pressed and Emma just sighed heavily as she shook her head no. "Have you two talked about it?"

"She's tried to, but I didn't want to talk about it," Emma admitted easily. "We've just decided that we're going to forget it even happened and move on. We're just friends and I don't want to lose that friendship with her just because we had sex one time."

"Would you feel any different if you remembered? Would it make a difference?"

That was a question Emma had been trying not to think about, too afraid of not only her mind but also what answer that her heart would give her. Deep down though, she already knew the answer to that very question and she was doing all she could to avoid admitting it even to herself.

Just knowing that it had been Regina who had made that first move made everything so much more complicated, and despite the fact that they were moving on from the sudden turn their friendship had taken, it was all too clear that there were more than friendly feelings at play for Regina.

And for herself too, but she wasn't about to readily admit that. Not now. Not ever.

"No," Emma said distantly as she looked over at Ruby. "It wouldn't make me feel any different or make a difference if I remembered."

Ruby didn't have to say a word because the look on her face said it all:

_Liar_.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes: Thanks to those who have favourited/followed and reviewed so far! I am so very excited about this one because I am certain that nobody is going to be able to predict where I'm taking the story. Isn't that exciting? I hope those reading enjoy the chapter and don't forget to leave a review! :)**

* * *

That Saturday morning was a stark contrast to the previous one. Bright and early, Emma had woken up and gone out for a run, the mid-October morning air crisp and cool and doing its part in waking up her sleepy, foggy mind. She ran through the trails near the town line, careful to avoid the ones that were dangerous and would lead her astray. As she rounded the last curve in the trail, she wasn't surprised at all to have run into Ruby.

"Hey," Emma smiled at her as they both slowed their pace down. "Just starting?"

"Yeah, you?"

"Finishing up, I've been out here for an hour."

"It's only like seven," Ruby laughed, shaking her head as she stretched out. "Hey, are we still on for tonight?"

"What's tonight?"

"You're joking right?" Ruby asked as she cocked her head to the side. "Birthday drinks at the Rabbit Hole!"

"My birthday isn't until tomorrow."

"My point exactly, it's not like we can go out drinking on a Sunday night when we both have to be in at the station before eight the next morning."

Emma sighed and ran her fingers through her slightly damp hair. "Who is all going again?"

"Ella and Tink. I know Regina was supposed to be coming with Kathryn, unless they've changed their mind," Ruby replied. "I invited Belle and Snow as well, but I don't think they're coming."

Birthday drinks with her mother was frightening in itself and she truly hoped that Snow had declined the invitation. While Snow and Ruby had been friends for a very long time, they'd drifted apart after they'd returned from the Enchanted Forest. Emma had been friends with Ruby before the first curse even broke and afterwards as well, but they hadn't been very close up until two years ago when things finally started to settle down in Storybrooke.

"So, you'll be there, right? We're meeting there around seven," Ruby asked and Emma nodded. Ruby grinned as she clapped her hands together. "Great! What are you doing later today?"

"I have plans. With Regina," Emma said hesitantly. "We're going to continue with some magic lessons. She's going to be teaching me how to transport myself with magic." Upon Ruby's confused look, she continued, "you know that thing she does where she—"

"Disappears in a haze of purple smoke? Yeah," Ruby replied and she frowned. "Why do you want to learn how to do that, Em?"

"It could come in handy one day, who knows," she shrugged. "Whatever you do, Rubes, don't tell my mother okay? I don't think she'd like knowing that I'm learning more magic."

"It's not about you learning magic, Emma, it's about _what_ you're learning and _who_ you're learning it with," Ruby said softly. "You two haven't done magic lessons in a while. Why now?"

"Why not?"

"Does this have anything to do with what happened last—"

"No!" Emma exclaimed and she groaned quietly, her body none to gently reminding her she'd still needed to wind down from her run properly. "I don't know, I guess I just thought it'd be cool to know how to do it, you know? This has nothing to do with what happened and you promised me you wouldn't bring it up again!" Emma frowned. "Look, I'll see you tonight. I need to get home and shower. Regina is expecting me for breakfast in an hour."

"Em—"

"Bye, Rubes!" Emma called out over her shoulder as she broke off into a slow jog, leaving Ruby standing there in the middle of the trail with her mouth slightly agape.

Emma paced herself until she was out of the woods and to where she'd parked her Bug. Her heart was racing, her body aching, and despite her slight exhaustion, she was running on pure adrenaline. She stretched out slowly before climbing into the Bug and driving to her apartment, trying in vain to keep her mind from drifting as she'd done during her run. This time she managed to succeed until she parked the Bug on the street in front of the building.

Regina was expecting her for breakfast in just under an hour. Breakfast at eight in the morning on a Saturday. Sure, they had made plans the day before to start their magic lesson early as Regina warned her that it could take several hours before she even managed to do the spell right. She was beginning to feel a little nervous about it, mostly because she knew how dangerous learning new and powerful magic truly could be. She might be in control of her own magic now, but that didn't mean she couldn't just as easily lose control.

"Hey," Henry said tiredly from where he was lounging on the couch as soon as she'd walked into the apartment. "Have a good run?"

"Yeah," she smiled and turned to lock the door behind her. "What are you doing up so early? You usually don't surface until noon on the weekends."

"I'm going fishing with Grandpa and Neal today, remember?"

"That was today?"

"That was today," Henry repeated. "You forgot, didn't you?"

"I didn't forget, not exactly," Emma replied as she made her way to the kitchen and opened up the refrigerator door to retrieve a cold bottle of water. "What time are you guys heading out?"

"Whenever they get here," Henry replied and he turned off the TV as she walked out of the galley kitchen. "Mom?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"What makes you think that I'm not, Hen?"

Henry shrugged. "You're just acting…different lately, that's all."

"I've been having a bit of trouble sleeping, it's nothing to be worried about. It'll sort itself out in no time. You don't need to worry about me, okay?"

"If you say so."

Emma smiled and reached out to ruffle his shaggy hair, keeping her comments to herself about him needing a haircut. "You got everything that you need for today?"

Henry thumbed over his shoulder to where his fishing rod and tackle box sat near the door along with his backpack he no doubt filled with junk food for himself and Neal to share. "Been packed up since last night," he said and he smiled. "We'll probably be back kind of late. Last weekend of the season and everything, you know?"

"Okay," she smiled right back at him. "I'm going out tonight."

"On a date?"

"Not on a date, Hen," Emma sighed. "Birthday drinks at the Rabbit Hole."

"I won't wait up then," Henry chuckled.

Emma just rolled her eyes and headed for the bathroom just as she heard a knock on the door, no doubt her father there to pick Henry up. Not in the mood for small pleasantries, Emma locked the bathroom door and ran the water in the shower. She hoped that the hot water would sooth the tense muscles in her neck and shoulders. She had a long day ahead of her.

[X]

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. They had been going over the basics of the spell for nearly two hours and Emma still didn't understand how it worked. They were in the sitting room next to the den, the spell book laid out in front of Emma despite her being unable to read the words that weren't written in English.

"What am I doing wrong?"

"Everything," Regina muttered and she placed the mouse she'd picked up at the pet store in the middle of the table and pointed to it. "Try it again."

"Why are we doing it with a mouse anyway?"

"Because if you manage to transport and do it wrong, better he than you that ends up in pieces, no?" Regina asked and Emma hesitated but nodded in agreement anyway. "And it is nothing like transferring an inanimate object as you have proven to be so well at in the past. Stop thinking of _that_ particular spell and focus on _this_ one."

"I'm trying, Regina!"

"Perhaps we should take a break and call it a day," Regina sighed in annoyance. "I told you that it is difficult to teach. Magic is different for everyone that possesses that power and here in this world, magic works on an entirely different level. I only managed to grasp onto the spell with ease here because it had become a spell I used often before. With you I fear it won't be that easy."

"Obviously not if I can't even make this little guy go poof," Emma muttered under her breath as she managed to scoop up the small mouse and stared at its twitchy little nose. "Maybe it's a good thing it's not working on him. He's kind of cute."

"It's a rodent," Regina said sharply as she placed her palms down on the table and pushed herself up off the chair. "We're done for today, Emma."

"Can't we just take a break for a little while and come back to this?"

"Determined, are you?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I just want to learn, that's all."

"Why, so when you find yourself in a situation you'd rather not be in, you can just _poof_ yourself out of there, hmm?"

Despite the sharp, annoyed tone her voice took on, Emma laughed and placed the mouse back inside the tiny little cage. "I'm thinking it could be practical for work," Emma replied and she continued, her voice much lower than before in a murmur Regina couldn't quite understand.

"What was that?"

"I said I thought it'd be fun to know how to poof in with a flourish and in a haze of smoke."

"It's not poof—"

"Transferring, transporting, whatever, you said there wasn't even an actual term for it," Emma said tongue in cheek as Regina grit her teeth. "I'm going to go with poof."

"Call it what you like to, dear. We're done for the day."

Regina strolled out of the sitting room and headed for the kitchen. Her head was pounding and she'd been desperately trying to keep any of her feelings for the infuriating blonde out of their magic lesson. Emotions played a rather big part when it came to magic, something that she herself knew it all too well. Emma was far more closed off, but even still, Regina knew that when she let her emotions drive her it was powerful and unpredictable.

Pinching the bridge of her nose again, she retrieved the aspirin from the cupboard and took two pills without water, sighing heavily at the heavy footfalls that belonged none other than to the very source of her current headache.

"I was thinking maybe this isn't working because I don't have any kind of emotional attachment to the mouse," Emma said, her attention on the small cage that housed the nameless mouse. "I mean, you said it's different than with an inanimate object. Is that because when it comes to something living—"

"In a sense, yes, but it doesn't quite work that way, Emma."

"Then how does it work?"

"What the hell have we just spent the last several hours doing?" Regina snapped, losing all patience with her. "You truly are an idiot sometimes, Swan."

"You said it wasn't easy!"

"I should've known it was impossible with you."

"Maybe we're just going at this all wrong? Maybe we—"

"We are done for the day. Now, if you don't mind, I need to lay down for a while."

"Why?" Emma asked, nothing but concern laced in her voice. "Are you okay? You aren't sick or anything, are you?"

"I will be fine once this throbbing in my head, that you caused by the way, passes and the only way it will is if you leave me be in peace," she snapped and immediately wished she hadn't. Emma placed the small cage down on the island countertop, held her hands up in surrender as she backed away towards the door. "Emma, wait—"

"I'll just see you later, yeah? Seven o'clock at the Rabbit Hole. You're still coming?"

"Emma—"

Regina sighed loudly and picked up the small cage with a look of disgust before placing it on the floor. She blinked when she recalled the last thing Emma had said before she walked out. Seven o'clock at the Rabbit Hole. She sighed again before heading upstairs to lie down for a few hours in hopes of getting rid of the mind-numbing headache. She did, after all, have somewhere to be that night and she was going to keep her word, her unspoken promise to Emma.

Just like friends were supposed to.

Because that was all they were and ever would be. Just friends.

[X]

The Rabbit Hole was packed and Emma was fully enjoying herself as round after round of shots—not tequila—kept flowing almost endlessly. While she denied half of the shots that ended up in her hands, she noticed Regina had been doing the very same thing with all of them. Ruby and Tink, however, weren't holding back, but Kathryn had stuck with juice as she had announced her pregnancy at the beginning of their night out and Ella nursed a single glass of wine for the better part of two hours.

"Come on, Em!" Ruby yelled over the driving music. She laughed drunkenly as she grabbed on to both of Emma's hands and pulled her away from the table they were seated at. "Dance with me, birthday girl!"

Emma playfully rolled her eyes, feeling buzzed and feeling good. She followed her to where a crowd of people were dancing on the floor that had been cleared free of tables and chairs. Emma knew that Ruby loved to get a little frisky when she danced while drinking and normally she never minded it, but for some reason that night, she really didn't want to end up wedged between Ruby and likely Tink, since she was quickly making her way over towards them.

She was all too aware, even from across the room, how Regina's eyes lingered on her. She tried not to let it get to her, just wanting to enjoy her night out with her friends to celebrate her birthday. So she let herself go, losing herself in the music and in both Ruby and Tink as they danced together. Laughter flowed easily after a few songs and when Emma felt a warm hand on her shoulder, she spun around with a smile on her face to see Regina standing there.

"Hey, did you come for a dance?"

"No," Regina said as she leaned in to her as to not have to shout over the music. "Kathryn isn't feeling well. I'm going to take her home and call it a night myself."

"You're leaving?" Emma asked, trying not to sound as disappointed as she felt. "But it's only—"

"Midnight, dear," Regina chuckled and they both moved in for one of the most awkward hugs they'd ever shared—and there hadn't been many of them either. "Have fun, Emma, and happy birthday."

"Thanks."

As soon as Regina and Kathryn had left, Emma found herself at the counter with two shots of rum in front of her and a beer to chase them down with. She didn't move from that spot for the next hour and didn't plan to any time soon. The more alcohol she put into her system, the harder it was to push those thoughts away, to forget how she felt about Regina deep down. After she slipped off the stool not once, not twice, but six times, the bartender cut her off and Ruby was struggling to drag her outside.

The cool night air hit her hard and sent her spinning, the copious amounts of alcohol she'd drank just in the time since Regina and Kathryn had left suddenly striking her with full force. She heaved and clamped a hand over her mouth as Tink jumped back and Ruby just tightened her grip on her arm.

"David is coming around to pick you up and take you home, Em," Ruby said and she let her go as Emma tried to free herself and she plopped down on the sidewalk. "Emma, you okay?"

"I think she's going to be sick," Tink muttered from a safe distance behind her.

"Emma?"

"I'm fine. I was having fun!" Emma groaned. "Why'd she cut me off?"

"Because you are wasted!"

"I'm not wasted," Emma said as she rolled her eyes. "I was enjoying myself!"

"By drinking like a seasoned alcoholic?" Ruby asked sarcastically.

"Why'd you call David?"

"Because none of us are fit to drive right now and I hardly think Snow can deal with you when you're like this. In fact, she'd probably _kill_ me if she knew how off the rails you went tonight."

Emma frowned, dropped her head between her knees, and blew out a hard breath. Despite how good she'd been feeling before Ruby had dragged her out of the bar, she now felt like complete crap for allowing herself to get out of control the way she had in such a short span of time. She was a mess and it wasn't just because she was out celebrating her birthday. It was because of the one thing she had been desperately trying to avoid for the last week and that was coming to terms with her feelings—her true feelings for Regina Mills.

Their friendship had never been easy and it'd been a very long and very hard road to get to where they were now, or at least to where they'd been a week ago before they landed in bed together. Now Emma had been freaking out because of that and she hated feeling that way, she hated feeling so god damn conflicted all the time, and she hated how the alcohol was having the opposite effect on her mind. It was supposed to make her forget, to allow herself to let loose and enjoy her night out without nothing but thoughts of Regina on her mind.

"She's going to hurl all over the truck in you put her in the cab, David," Ruby said and Emma blinked as she lifted her head. "Put her in the back, Tink and I will make sure she doesn't go flying out when you make a turn or stop."

"In the back?" David asked with a raised eyebrow and he looked down at Emma before crouching in front of her. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"Drunk," Emma smirked.

"I can see that," he chuckled heartedly. "How about we get you home and you can sleep it off?"

Emma wanted to protest, the words right there on the tip of her tongue, but instead she just swallowed thickly and nodded her head, allowing herself to be pulled up to her feet slowly and led around to the tailgate of the truck where Ruby and Tink were waiting. The three of them climbed into the bed of the truck. There was a constant flow of giggles erupting between the three of them with Emma sitting in between Ruby and Tink, their backs up against the cab as David literally strapped them in with some thick nylon rope he had found in his tool box.

As ridiculous as it was, it was also fun in a strange sense. It reminded Emma of the kids in the high schools she went to that would do things like this just for fun. But all too quickly her thoughts went right back to Regina out of nowhere. She didn't want to be tied to the bed of her father's truck, being carted home and put to bed, she wanted to be with Regina, to talk to her, to apologize for being such an idiot, especially for being one during their magic lesson.

Emma closed her eyes, wishing for what she wasn't sure. Maybe for a do-over of the night, maybe for finding a way to make Regina stay and just have fun since it'd be clear she was out of her element there with Emma and her friends. Maybe it was to just take back the last hour and the one too many drinks she'd consumed. Maybe it was for her to understand that spell, to get it to work finally, to prove to Regina she wasn't an incompetent idiot when it came to magic. Maybe it was for that light feeling she suddenly felt, but definitely not for the way she suddenly came crashing down onto carpeted floor.

"Emma?" Regina gasped as she shot up in bed. "Emma, what the _hell_ are you doing here?"

"Holy shit, it worked?" Emma coughed as the last remnants of white smoke dissolved around her.


	6. Chapter 6

Regina had felt the magic in the air while she'd slept and it was the thump on the floor by the foot of the bed that had pulled her out of her light sleep. She sat up quickly, holding the sheets to her chest and with a flick of her finger, the light switched on and she was greeted by the sight of none other than Emma Swan, surrounded in a mist of white smoke as she lay hunched on the floor.

"Emma?" Regina gasped, sitting up straighter in her bed. "Emma, what the _hell_ are you doing here?"

Emma blinked in surprise, maybe confusion for a split second. "Holy shit, it worked?" She coughed as the last of the smoke dissolved from around her. "Holy shit!"

"Again," Regina asked, trying to keep her voice calm at the sudden intrusion in the middle of the night. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"One minute I'm strapped into the back of David's truck with Ruby and Tink and the next, poof."

Regina rolled her eyes and reached for her robe that lay at the foot of the bed. She slipped it on as she climbed out of bed. "Poof?" Regina asked skeptically as she folded her arms over her chest and watched as Emma very unsteadily got up on her feet. "Are you drunk?"

"Little bit," Emma replied, squinting as she held her forefinger and thumb barely an inch apart.

"Do tell me why you are here, in my bedroom, in the middle of the night?" Regina asked, trying still to remain calm and composed. "And why on earth were you, Ruby, and Tink strapped into the back of David's truck? Wait, don't tell me because I truly do not care to know."

"I don't know why I'm here, no, that's not true because I do, but I don't know _how_ I'm here. One minute I was thinking of something else, the next I was thinking, maybe hoping or wishing or whatever—that I could understand the spell because I'm not an incompetent idiot."

"Emma—"

"Regina, there is something that I need to say right now and I can't do that if you try to talk to me right now," Emma said and she swayed slightly and Regina worried her bottom lip at the state she was in. "I don't know how we ended up having sex, we were both drunk I know, but we've been drunk together before and that has never happened. No, that's not what I wanted to say."

Regina stood unmoving from the spot, her feet rooted to the soft carpet as she watched a host of different emotions and thoughts show themselves freely on Emma's face and especially in her eyes. Regina knew she should just stop her before she would say or do something she'd regret when she was sober, but a part of her was curious to what Emma was going to say.

"I'm sorry for being such an idiot," Emma muttered after she seemingly managed to collect her thoughts. "Not just during our magic lesson or for whatever other reason, but for being such an idiot when it comes to you. Regina, can I ask you something?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you have feelings for me?"

"I care for you," she admitted honestly and at that moment it was all she cared to admit. "We're friends, Emma, and you are the mother of our son, we—"

"That's not what I'm asking you, Regina," Emma groaned and she took a few steps towards her, each one just a little steadier than the last. "I am asking you if you have _feelings_ for me. You kissed me first, you told me that you did, so I'm asking you if—"

"I do, but I don't think this is a conversation we should be having when you're in this state."

"I'm drunk, not wasted," Emma muttered as she fiddled with the edges of her tan leather jacket almost nervously. "I just want to know how you feel about me."

"Why?"

"Because I think that—that I might feel the same way."

Internally she was fighting herself and the voice inside the back of Regina's head was screaming at her not to listen to Emma, but to listen to reason. Emma was drunk and there was no way she would've readily held this conversation with her while she was sober. As much as she wanted to hang on to every word that spilled past Emma's lips, she knew she couldn't or she'd be setting herself up, yet again, for nothing but heartache in the end.

Regina shook her head and she reached out to gently grab on to Emma's shoulders to keep her from swaying. "Emma, you've been drinking," she said softly. "Your head isn't in the right space right now and you're not thinking clearly. I think you need to sleep it off and we will discuss this when you are sober."

"I want to talk about this now."

"Always so incredibly stubborn, aren't you?" Regina asked, quietly laughing at the pout that slipped over Emma's lips she had to not think about how much she just wanted to kiss it away.

"That would be me."

_And adorable too_, Regina mused and she swallowed thickly as she let go of Emma suddenly. She knew that Emma was dangerously unpredictable when she let her emotions get to the better of her when she was sober, even more so when she'd been drinking and she knew she had to put a stop to this conversation and get Emma to bed so she could sleep it off.

"It's late and you need to go to bed and unfortunately I am far too tired to take you home, but you are more than welcome to sleep in the guest bedroom across the hall if you—"

Regina almost reeled back in surprise the moment Emma surged forward and captured her lips in a hard kiss, one that lasted only just a few seconds before it was Emma who pulled back slightly. Her fingers gently threaded through Regina's hair, holding her right where she was, and Regina could barely shake off the shock and surprise that Emma had just kissed her.

"Emma—"

Again Emma's lips cut her off, only it wasn't hard and as forced as before. She found herself melting into the kiss despite that nagging voice in the back of her head screaming at her all the reasons why she shouldn't be allowing this to happen. Yet, she ignored it completely as she grabbed on to the front of Emma's jacket, further melting into the kiss and into the woman she had undeniably fallen in love with over the years. She could taste the alcohol on her lips and then her tongue as Emma slipped it past her lips with ease.

Regina allowed herself a moment just to indulge in the feeling of how it felt to be kissed by Emma, at the softness of her lips and the slight urgency of her tongue dancing against her own. She allowed herself to lose herself in that moment before she came crashing back down to reality.

She could not, under any circumstances, allow this to go even just a shred further than it already had. Emma was intoxicated and as the voice of reason, the _sober_ voice of reason, she had to put some absolutely necessary distance between them.

"Emma, you need to go to bed," Regina said shakily as she let go of the front of her tan leather jacket and stepped backwards, causing Emma's hands to fall to her sides dejectedly. "I know that right now you think that this is what you want, but I can assure you tomorrow you'll feel—"

"Differently? That I'll regret kissing you or telling you that I maybe feel the same was as you feel about me? That I _want_ you?" Emma asked in a rush and her eyes suddenly went wide before she covered her flushed face with both hands. "Maybe you're right," she murmured from behind her hands. "Maybe this was a stupid idea."

"Perhaps, but I promise that I will not hold any of this against you in the morning."

"Or maybe it wasn't," Emma said, her hands falling away from her face as she stepped towards Regina and gripped her hips tightly with both hands. "Maybe I've been nothing more than an idiot all week for making such a big deal out of this, out of us."

Regina knew she _had_ to put a stop to this before it went any further. She shook her head no when Emma started to lean in to kiss her once again and she placed her hands on her shoulders, effectively keeping her from closing the short distance between them.

"You are not an idiot, Emma," Regina murmured softly as she stared into Emma's eyes. In the soft light, they looked almost blue but not quite. "It's been very confusing," she continued, choosing her words carefully. "For us both. We will figure things out, I promise you, but it won't be tonight."

"Okay," Emma frowned. "I understand."

Regina knew that Emma was struggling at holding herself back, trying to stay as composed as she could manage in her inebriated state. With a soft smile, she stepped away from Emma and walked over to her dresser, pulling open one of the drawers.

"I'll get you something to wear to bed and in the morning, if you still want to revisit this topic we will—Emma?" Regina said as she turned around when she heard the soft creak of the mattress. Emma Swan had taken it upon herself to crawl into her bed, jacket and boots and all. "Oh, Emma, whatever am I going to do with you?"

Regina placed the pajama bottoms back in the drawer and walked around to the other side of the bed. With a frown, she unzipped Emma's boots and slipped them off, leaving them at the side of the bed before moving to get her out of her tight leather jacket. Not once did Emma's eyes flutter open and Regina debated for a moment whether to leave her as she was or use magic to change her out of the skin tight jeans she wore so she'd sleep more comfortably. Even as tired as she was, it was such a simple spell that wouldn't drain too much of her magic reserves as they were always at their lowest when she was tired.

Regina focused just for a moment, ignoring the tingling sensation that lingered from that last kiss, and with a flourish of her hand, she switched Emma's clothes into something far more comfortable, the very pajama bottoms she was about to offer her before she'd passed out on her bed and a loose fitting t-shirt that was almost two sizes two big. She paused for a moment before heading downstairs quickly to retrieve some aspirin and a bottle of water.

Just as she was about to head back upstairs, three sharp knocks sounded on the front door. She furrowed her brow for a moment and then remembered that Emma had told her she had vanished from the back of David's truck suddenly and there was no doubt just who was on the other side of her door right then.

Regina pulled her robe tighter around her body as she made her way to the front door and flipped on the porch light before she opened the door to a very worried looking David Nolan. "She's here," Regina said quietly. "She's safe and in bed, sleeping it off."

"She's here?" David asked, looking rather confused. "How did she end up here?"

Regina was far too tired for this conversation and she had no idea what to tell him aside from just a string of the truth. "She's been learning a new spell recently and in her inebriated state she—"

"A new spell?" David asked quickly. "What kind of a spell?"

"I think you know exactly what kind of spell we're talking about here," Regina sighed. "Look, it is rather late and after an unexpected and surprise visit, I'd very much like to get back to sleep."

"Regina?" David stopped her before she could shut the door. "It's okay with you that she stays here tonight? Wouldn't it be better if she were at home and in her own bed?"

"It's _late_, David, and as I just told you, she's already in bed. There's no sense in trying to rouse her, as I believe that she blacked out nearly ten minutes ago. I'll keep an eye on her throughout the night, something I know that you and I cannot expect Henry to do himself."

David looked hesitant before he smiled gently. "Thank you, Regina. It'll put my mind at ease knowing she is being looked after. She was in quite the state when I arrived to pick her up."

"Yes, she was, wasn't she," Regina chuckled in spite of herself. "Good night, David."

"Good night, Regina."

Just as Regina shut the door, she could hear the sounds of Ruby and Tink laughing from the back of David's truck that was parked down on the street. She rolled her eyes and turned the lock before heading back upstairs to the bedroom where she was greeted by the sounds of Emma snoring softly and the sight of her sprawled out on her bed and clutching tightly on to the pillow that her head laid upon.

For the second time in a week, Emma Swan was in her bed. Regina tried to ignore the flutter deep in her stomach at the sight of her sleeping soundly as if it were the most perfectly natural sight to see. She tried to ignore the tingle in her lips she felt still and she placed the bottle of water and aspirin on the bedside table near Emma. She faced a slight dilemma as she moved around to the other side of the bed. Should she sleep in her own bed with Emma Swan so close by, or should she just go into the guest room and sleep in the bed there that she'd offered Emma before?

The guest bed wasn't near as comfortable as her own was, that she knew to be a fact. That voice was back, yelling at her just to let Emma sleep alone in her bed and to sleep elsewhere, but she was growing more and more exhausted with every passing minute that she could barely move without feeling sluggish and drained. With a sharp intake of breath, Regina removed her robe and glanced down at the red negligée she had chosen to wear to bed hours before with a frown. She shook her head, muttering to herself as she pulled back the covers and slipped under them.

Regina left the lamp on for it allowed her an unhindered view of Emma's sleeping face. She had seen so many different emotions and her being closed off the few times she'd seen her in the past week, but right then in that moment, she was truly relaxed, unhinged, and so very beautiful. It was hard for her to resist the urge to gently brush back the strands of blonde hair that had fallen over her closed eyes and she found her whole body shifting on the bed closer to her, inch by inch.

Regina knew she was in trouble as she tucked those loose strands of hair behind Emma's ear so very gently. She knew how she felt about Emma, that those feelings ran deep and true, but she also knew acting on them was a risk she wasn't sure she was willing to take. Emma was just as confused as she had been when she'd realized her true feelings for the blonde woman currently in her bed and to act on her own feelings would only further hinder that confusion. Above all else, above the happiness she'd learned to stop chasing and just allow for it to happen, her friendship with Emma meant the world to her and if they weren't careful, if _she_ wasn't careful, her unrequited love would destroy everything they had fought so hard for.

Regina used the last of the energy she had to flick off the light without moving from where she lay on her side facing Emma and as she allowed her eyes to close and her body, her mind to give in to the pull of sleep, she willed herself not to dream of the woman next to her just as she had since the one night of bliss they'd shared together.

[X]

Regina stirred just a few hours after falling asleep, not because she'd had enough sleep, but because of the warm, soft hand currently wandering over her bare thigh and under the thin material of her negligée. She stilled completely, holding her breath as the hand continued to caress her skin and each pass sent small quakes of arousal coursing through her tense body. Daring to open her eyes, she found Emma to be not a foot from her as she'd been when she'd fallen asleep hours before, but mere inches away.

Her heart was racing as she tried to figure out the best way to put a stop to the predicament they currently were in. She knew she had to stop Emma as each caress moved higher still on the side and back of her right thigh. She had to stop her despite how good the touch felt, how much it reminded her of how neglected her body had felt up until their one night together. She had to stop because if Emma woke up, she'd likely repeat the last morning she'd woken up in her bed and flee without looking back.

Easing a hand under the sheets, she placed it over Emma's arm and gently pulled her hand away. Swallowing thickly, she dropped her hand gently in the small space between their bodies and let out a shaky breath as she watched Emma stir but not awaken. She shifted away from the close proximity of the sleeping blonde and turned to lie on her back, taking care to move slowly as to not wake Emma up just yet.

Regina turned her head to the side to check the time, groaning inwardly when she saw it was barely past five o'clock. She was still so very tired and she needed to sleep, but her body was all too aware of Emma sleeping barely a foot away from her. It almost felt utterly ridiculous at the way she was reacting. Love, whether it was unrequited or otherwise, worked in many strange and mysterious ways, ways that not even she could fully comprehend or begin to understand.

She had only loved once before and it had been young love yet it had ran deep and interweaved through her soul like warm sunshine and hope. The darkness in her heart was fading because of the light that pierced through it with the very presence of Emma Swan in her life. She was truly the Savior, not just for the town and the people in it, not just for herself or for Henry, but for Regina as well. How many times had Emma saved her and vice versa? It had been far too many times to count, in big ways and small.

She turned to look at Emma when she heard the small groan escape past her lips and she waited for the inevitable that would happen the moment Emma opened her eyes. Regina waited, watching her in the darkness as her eyes fluttered open slowly and she stretched out in bed.

"Fuck," Emma murmured under her breath and Regina felt the quakes of arousal begin to course through her body at the husky sound of Emma's sleep-filled voice. "Shit, Regina?"

Emma scrambled to get out of bed, her leg getting caught in the sheets before she tumbled to the floor with a hard thud. Regina rolled her eyes as she leaned up on her elbows and with a small snap of her fingers the bedside lamp turned on and bathed the room in a soft glow.

"It's far too early for this," Regina said firmly. "If you could kindly stop freaking out, Emma, I'd like to sleep for a little longer and I'm sure you'll need it as well."

"What? How did I end up in your bed _again_? We didn't, you know, do anything last night, did we?" Emma asked as she poked her head up over the edge of the bed. "Did we?"

Regina sighed as she lay back down and closed her eyes. Of course Emma didn't remember a thing and once again Regina was cursed with being the only one that did.


	7. Chapter 7

Emma woke up for the second time several hours later, alone in Regina's bed. After waking up the first time not knowing how she ended up in the older woman's bed for the second time in a week due to drinking far too much, she'd allowed to be coaxed her back into bed, both of them far too tired to deal with things in the heat of the moment.

The first time she'd woken up, her brain was a foggy mess and she could not for the life of her remember what had happened. Yet now, as she woke up to soft sunlight streaming in through the window, her memories caught up to her piece by broken piece. She remembered David picking her, Ruby, and Tink up from the Rabbit Hole after the bartender had effectively cut her off. She remembered being in the bed of David's truck, but not what she was thinking of when she suddenly found herself in Regina's bedroom. Vaguely she remembered rambling on like a spaz, a drunken _idiot_ before she'd kissed Regina. Twice.

Rubbing her hands over her eyes, she inhaled deeply. What had she gotten herself into? She wasn't supposed to be transporting herself into Regina's bedroom in the middle of the night, especially not when she was too drunk to control her actions and clearly her lips. By all reasons of logic, she shouldn't have even been able to perform that spell, not when she had spent hours the day before failing miserably in every attempt to make it work.

She inhaled deeply once more as her body as well as her mind began to wake more fully and she could just faintly smell the intoxicating aroma of fresh coffee being brewed downstairs. She threw back the sheets and stretched out languidly, her shoulder muscles tight from sleeping in an unfamiliar bed and a pillow that had been far too firm for her liking. After a quick stop in the bathroom, she headed downstairs to the kitchen without changing out of the clothes she had no idea how she got changed into and chose in that moment not to think about it at all.

"Good morning, Emma," Regina smiled the moment she entered the kitchen. "Happy Birthday."

"Thank you," Emma smiled, blushing slightly as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Oh and good morning," she added quickly with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

Regina reached for the mug on the counter and held it out towards her. "I thought you might need this when you woke," Regina said quietly. "I heard the toilet flush."

"Oh, right," Emma took the offered mug with a grateful smile. "About last night—"

"Perhaps we should save that particular conversation until you've properly woken up," Regina said quickly, lifting her own mug to her lips. "That is, if you do want to talk about it at all. I will understand completely if you wish not to."

"Because avoidance has worked so well for us so far," Emma muttered under her breath and rolled her eyes. "What's happening between us, Regina?"

Regina withdrew into silence, something that Emma had learned she did when faced with a difficult situation she was unsure of how to conquer. It didn't happen often, but she knew Regina well enough to know when it happened. Emma sighed and sipped her hot coffee slowly before moving to lean against the island counter just a few feet in front of Regina.

"I do remember what happened last night," Emma said after a few heavy minutes of silence between them. "I remember kissing you."

"You'd been drinking. I am sure your judgment was severely clouded by whatever alcohol you indulged in after I left to take Kathryn home."

Emma nervously scratched at the back of her neck. While she was sure that the copious amounts of alcohol she'd drank had been part of the reason behind her actions, she herself was to blame.

If she was being honest with herself—and she knew she had to start doing just that—the alcohol had only given her that small boost of confidence to make that move on Regina the night before. While she wasn't ready to fully face what it meant, it didn't mean that her mind wasn't searching for the answers. Regina hadn't said so much in words as she had in her actions, but Emma knew she had more than just friendly feelings towards her. Even now, with the silence that settled between them once again, she could sense something more there between them and not only that, she could see what she recognized as fear in Regina's soulful brown eyes.

"I want to talk about it, I think we need to," Emma said as she lowered her eyes to the mug in her hand. "But I need to know something before we talk, Regina."

"You want to know if I have feelings for you."

Emma nodded. "I know that you do, but it's not like it's obvious or anything," she said in a rush, afraid that she'd scare Regina off, cause her to close herself off to her completely. "I just don't know what you want from me."

"What I want from you?" Regina asked, her tone light. "I don't want anything from you that you aren't willing to give to me, Emma."

The open admission and honesty caught her off-guard a little bit. Regina was never as open as she was being in that moment, not with her and certainly not with anyone else that she'd ever noticed. Emma licked over her lips as she allowed her eyes to come into contact with Regina's and she found it hard to look away from Regina's intense gaze. Emma swallowed hard as she placed her mug down on the counter behind her, her eyes never wavering away from Regina's for a moment.

What did Regina want with her? Did she want a romantic relationship or was she leaning more towards friends with benefits? Surely she'd want the latter after her heart had been broken one too many times. Emma herself wasn't sure what she wanted beyond friendship, but what she did know was that she'd felt something under the drunken haze when she had kissed her. Had it just been the buzz from the alcohol that made her feel something that likely wasn't even there or was it something else entirely?

Emma licked over her lips as her eyes gazing down to Regina's full ones and back to meet her eyes once more. Just as she was about to take a step towards Regina, their teenaged son's voice rang through the otherwise quiet house.

"Happy Birthday!" He laughed as he rushed over to throw his arms around Emma tightly.

"Hey, Henry, what are you doing here so early?"

"Early?" Henry asked with a shake of his head. "It's almost eleven, Mom."

"It is?" Emma looked at her son in confusion and then over at Regina. She quickly covered it as she wrapped an arm around his neck and ruffled his hair. "I had a late night last night."

"I heard," Henry replied and he moved to hug Regina with a smile. "Why aren't you ready yet?"

"Ready for what?"

"Brunch at Granny's," Henry said pointedly. "You forgot, didn't you?"

"Must've slipped my mind," Emma shrugged. "How about you give me ten minutes and I'll be ready to go, okay?"

Henry nodded and went off ahead of her upstairs to retrieve a few comics from his room that he'd left there during the week. Emma sighed and picked up her mug, drinking what she could before she placed it back down on the counter again.

"Uh, do you have any clothes I can borrow?" Emma asked. "I can't exactly go in what I wore last night. Pretty sure I'd reek like booze and Snow will have a fit."

"I'm certain she'll have a fit if you show up in clothes that clearly belong to me," Regina replied with a hint of a smirk dancing over her lips. "Unless," she paused, looking Emma up and down for a moment and with a wave of her hand, she magically conjured up a fresh pair of jeans and a white sweater. With another wave, Emma's tan jacket and boots appeared on her and Regina nodded, looking rather satisfied with herself. "Much easier, wouldn't you say?"

"Okay that is another thing I need you to teach me," Emma laughed as she looked down at her clothes. "I might even be able to save a small fortune on a new wardrobe."

"You cannot conjure something that does not already belong to you or another who is willing."

"Right," Emma nodded with small disappointment. "There goes that idea then."

The moment they were about to have had been shattered and Emma had a feeling it would be rather difficult to get that moment back again anytime soon. If it hadn't have been for Henry, she couldn't help but wonder what would've happened next. Would they have kissed or would one of them stopped it from happening just before their lips would meet for a third time in less than twelve hours? She frowned and shook her head, trying to dislodge those thoughts from her mind.

"You should get going, dear. Wouldn't want to keep your family waiting," Regina said gently at the sound of Henry's footsteps thundering down the stairs.

"Regina?" Emma asked as Henry called out for her to hurry up and get ready because he was hungry. "Do you want to come with us?"

"Brunch with the Charming's?" Regina asked with a raised eyebrow. "How could I ever possibly resist?"

"Is that a yes?"

"That is a no," Regina replied, rolling her eyes playfully. "Another time, perhaps, preferably without your parents and your irritating little brother."

Emma was used to those jabs that Regina regularly made regarding her family. It didn't matter that they all got along, at least for the most part, Regina still distanced herself from becoming too close with her former nemesis and her family. That obviously hadn't included Emma, but their relationship, their friendship had been formed on entirely different grounds, and their past was not as colorful as the one Regina had with her parents.

Emma fidgeted with the ends of her unzipped jacket, suddenly feeling at a loss for words. She wanted to tell Regina that she wanted her to come to brunch with her and her family, it was her birthday after all and she wanted to spend it with those she cared about, Regina being one of those handful of people. There were a lot of things that she wanted, she realized, that involved Regina and coming to terms with that was becoming easier, slowly yet surely.

"Happy Birthday, Emma," Regina smiled lightly at her. "Do enjoy brunch with your family."

"Thank you, I will," she smiled back at her before closing the distance between them. "Thank you for letting me stay here last night."

"It is not as if I had much of a choice as you took it upon yourself to pass out in my bed."

Emma shook her head as she bit back her laughter and ran her tongue slowly over her lips. Without thinking twice, she leaned over and kissed Regina lightly, letting her lips linger just for a handful a seconds before pulling back. With a small smile, she turned on her heels and headed for the front door, ignoring the fact that her heart was hammering wildly in her chest and she was definitely trying to ignore that tingling sensation left behind on her lips just from sharing a small, chaste kiss with Regina.

She knew as she joined her family in the Jeep Wagoneer that was parked on the street with David behind the wheel that she had a lot of things to think about, things that would have to wait until she wasn't with her family. The one thing that lingered in her mind was the words that Regina had said to her: _I don't want anything from you that you aren't willing to give to me_.

[X]

Late in the afternoon, Emma found herself lounging on the couch in her apartment while Henry went out to ride his bike with Nick and a few other boys from school, trying to make the most of the last of the fall weather before winter hit with a vengeance. There weren't many occasions where she found time to watch TV by herself and even then, especially on a Sunday in October, the only thing that was on the TV was football and baseball, and a host of random infomercials on the handful of channels she actually had.

So, she just lay there in complete and utter silence, her eyes closed but her mind far from falling off into a light sleep. Her phone was resting on top of her abdomen, her boots on the floor while her feet hung over the arm of the couch, her feet swaying in a rhythm to the beat of her still rapidly beating heart.

Her mind was swirling with thoughts she no longer fought, thoughts of Regina, thoughts of what had happened a week ago and the night before. Thoughts of that small kiss she'd stolen before she all but ran out of Regina's house to join her family for a birthday brunch at the diner. Thoughts of how just even being close to Regina had her feeling all sorts of things she'd denied herself from feeling before. But she was still confused as to what Regina had meant when she said that she didn't want anything she wasn't willing to give. What did that even mean?

Had Regina put the proverbial ball into her court, allowing her to make the next move first? Was it now up to her to figure out what was going on between them and go from there? Did Regina want a relationship, try one out at least, or was she leaning more towards something purely sexual with no strings attached? But the question she knew she should be asking herself was what did she want? Her alcohol-addled brain clearly wanted Regina, her lips had betrayed her in more than just words the night before, that much she was certain of, her mind couldn't seem to stop thinking about the older woman, but she just couldn't figure out what her _heart_ wanted.

Emma didn't have the greatest track records when it came to relationships and it wasn't something she was proud of either. It was just the way she was, her lack of commitment because she was afraid to commit to someone completely only to lose them in a short span of time. It was the result of being an orphan as a child, shuffled like she was a nobody from foster home to foster home, group home to group home, experiencing adoption once when she was very young only to be given back because they'd no longer wanted her.

It hadn't just been romantic relationships that had suffered because of her past; it had been friendships and acquaintances as well. Her time in Storybrooke had produced friendships that had lasted far longer than any others in her life and for that she was grateful. She had her family, the very same family she wished for her entire life, and she had her son after she'd spent so very long trying not to wonder what had happened to him the moment she'd given him up.

It was different now and she found herself constantly in a state of reminding herself just that, even if it happened subconsciously when she wasn't remotely aware. Everything was different now and her whole life had become something she never could've dreamt of. As she lay there on the couch and let her thoughts consume her, she wondered if things could be better than they were at that moment. Life was good, the only worries she had prior to having sex with Regina, had been the Lost Boys constantly stirring up trouble and keeping her on her toes. Now her life was filled with confusion, with not know what to do or how to just deal with what she felt.

Emma had never had a friend she could talk to about the things that bothered her, the things she thought about that she knew she needed to get off her chest, to get a second opinion and preferably some advice. Regina had been close enough of a friend that she'd had some long, heart-felt talks with her, but what she was going through in that very moment was because of her and Regina was the very last person she felt like she could talk to.

She most definitely could not talk to her mother. Snow would go off in a tangent even if she withheld some key information from her. Just the fact that she harbored some deep, intense, and perhaps feelings of a romantic nature would have Snow practically planning her wedding and the rest of her future without a doubt. Of course if she mentioned that it was Regina she had those feelings for, things would surely spontaneously combust right in front of her very eyes and it would not end well for anyone.

There was always Ruby Lucas and she could trust her with just about anything. It'd always been easy for her to talk to Ruby, but maybe not as much as it was to open herself up to her. Ruby already knew about her and Regina and hadn't brought it up since despite the fact that Emma knew she was dying to do just that. If there was anyone she was close to that she could trust to listen to her and not repeat a word, it would be her.

Emma inhaled deeply and picked her phone up, swiping at the screen and quickly punching in her passcode. She debated for just a minute and no longer before she quickly sent a text to Ruby and waited. After three whole minutes, Ruby replied and said she'd take her up on the offer to hang out with her for a little while. While she read over the short text, another came in, this time it was from Regina and just seeing her name on her screen had her heart racing at full tilt.

**_Dinner for two tonight, just you and I? No interruptions. We still need to finish our talk._**

Emma swallowed thickly and glanced at the time. It was still a few hours before dinnertime and that gave her plenty of time to sit down and talk with Ruby for a little while. She was a little hesitant in answering, but she knew if she didn't answer within the next five minutes, Regina in all her impatience would be texting her again.

A queen—former or not—did not like to be kept waiting and it was a trait that had stuck with Regina over the years. Emma sat up on the couch slowly and ran a hand through her hair. Dinner alone with Regina could go one of two ways and she wasn't sure if she was ready for either way that dinner could go between them. Yet, a part of her didn't want to upset Regina, nor did she want to lead her on before she figured out what exactly it was that she wanted.

**_Dinner sounds great._**

**_Wonderful. I'll see you around six?_**

**_It's a date._**

Emma hit send on the last one far too quickly and groaned loudly as she pressed the phone screen against her chest when she saw those three little dots that indicated Regina was responding. Her phone suddenly starting vibrating constantly and she pulled it back from her chest, the ID indicating that it was a call from the station.

A call from the station on a Sunday afternoon was never a good sign.

"Hello, Sheriff Swan speaking?"

"Emma?" Tink's voice sounded distant as she said her name. "You need to get down to the hospital now. There's been an accident. It—its Henry."


	8. Chapter 8

Regina was in a panic the moment Emma suddenly appeared in her kitchen just as she took the cooked roast out of the oven. The only words that had gotten out of Emma's mouth were "Henry" and "hospital" and Regina took her hand, transporting them both safely just outside the entrance to the emergency room.

It was nothing short of chaos inside the waiting room, several parents were screaming at any nurse, orderly and doctor they could find, all of them demanding to see their children and looking for some answers as to what had happened to them.

Regina barely registered the fact that she was still gripping tightly on to Emma's hand as she stormed past the horde of angry, worried and concerned parents and made her way directly into one of Dr. Whale's many little offices that were situated around the hospital. She did not find it surprising in the least to see him seated behind his cluttered little desk and on the phone, barking orders into it before slamming it down upon noticing their presence.

"Where is our son?" Regina demanded, her voice dangerously low and firm. "Where is our son and what happened to him?"

"Regina, there was an accident near the town line," Dr. Whale said shakily. "A Greyhound bus was travelling through carrying twenty-three passengers, the driver and a secondary crew member. The boys were goofing around on their bikes and according to one statement given to the responding paramedics, the road there is always empty and the boys, they thought nothing of building ramps and riding around without worry."

Regina grew fraught with worry. Nobody from the outside world crossed over the town line and nobody in Storybrooke left without ever being able to return. She gripped on to Emma's hand tightly, watching Whale closely as he wrung his hands together on top of his small, cluttered desk. He inhaled sharply, ignoring the ringing phone as he stared up at her and then at Emma.

"The driver didn't see them until the very last minute," Dr. Whale continued. "The details are a bit muddled as the Sheriff's department will need to take witness statements, but from what I gather happened, the bus tried to stop and swerved on the road, hitting several of the boys. There are already a few fatalities, but your son is in surgery with a badly broken arm and from what I have been informed by the surgeon, no internal bleeding, just some bumps, cuts, and bruises."

Fatalities. The word hung heavy in Regina's mind. Fatalities, plural.

Emma suddenly let go of her hand as the gravity of the situation opening her eyes and Regina watched her go from concerned, worried mother, to the town's Sheriff in a blink of an eye. Emma just exchanged a sympathetic look with her before she strolled out of Whale's office, a sense of determination and authority in her step that had Regina more than just appreciating how endearing she was when she was like that.

"What about Henry?" Regina asked, choosing to ignore the slight shake in her voice. "He's in surgery?"

"He was one of the lucky ones," the doctor said quietly, still ignoring his ringing phone until Regina cast him a berating look that made him yank the receiver up. "Whale speaking," he barked into the phone, his nerves clearly as on edge as everyone else's. "Prep the second OR. I'll be down as quickly as possible."

Whale slammed the phone down and inhaled deeply. The slight shake in his shoulders showed just how tense he was and the magnitude of a trauma on the scale that they were dealing with was one he was clearly ill equipped to handle.

"I've called in a favor to the fairies to come and assist us with this tragedy," Whale said, rising from his desk as he walked over to the sink nearby on the wall and began scrubbing his hands feverously. "They'll assist in healing some of the injuries that we would otherwise be unable to treat long enough to get the boys into surgery."

"How many fatalities?"

"I can't—"

"Damn it, Whale, you fucking imbecile!" Regina roared as she grabbed him by the back of his collar. "How. Many. Fatalities?"

"Four. Two more are critical."

"Have you seen the state outside this stale little office of yours?" Regina asked and she was positively fuming. "There are parents out there demanding answers that none of your staff are quite obviously giving to them. They need to know, Whale. Have you even informed the parents of the deceased children that their child is gone because of this tragic accident?"

"Our top priority right now is the patients. We're following emergency policy—"

"I don't care if you're following the emergency policy, do the parents of the deceased know their children are—"

"No!" Whale yelled right back at her, his whole body shaking just as hard as hers was. "Regina please, let us do what we can for these boys. I may not be a parent, but I know that at a time like this, every minute is nothing but pure hell and torture. If you do not mind, I am needed in surgery. If you want to lecture me over the emergency protocols, now is not the time, but I'll be happy to pencil you in afterwards."

Regina scoffed as Whale stormed past her and exited his office, the noise of the parents waiting erupting in the seconds that passed. Regina took a moment to compose herself before stepping out into the waiting chaos.

In the very middle of the chaos was Sheriff Emma Swan, doing what she could to register peace between two fathers who had taken to screaming at one another over the choice of friends both their sons had made. The entire situation was overwhelming and as a mother herself, she wasn't sure how she was keeping it together or how Emma was either. Watching Emma take control of the situation had her stepping back and watching her with nothing more than admiration in her eyes. Even in the face of crisis, Emma could hold herself together and it was nothing short of admirable for Regina.

Once Emma had separated and calmed the two fathers down, she began a quick round of taking statements until Ruby, Tink, and David showed up to take over for her. Emma approached Regina with a tired sigh, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the privacy of Dr. Whale's still empty office. She shut the door, eliminating the noise from the waiting room.

"Did you find out anything about Henry?"

"Nothing yet," Regina said with a small shake of her head. "Nobody has heard anything since we arrived here."

"Is that normal?"

"I—I'm not entirely sure. We've never dealt with something on this scale before."

Regina watched as Emma took a few steps, pacing over the small space in front of Whale's small, cluttered desk before she turned to it and slammed her palms down, breathing heavily. In the heaviness of the situation they were in—and on Emma's birthday of all days—Regina did not hesitate to reach out and run her hands over a tense, muscular back, her fingers skimming over the knotted muscled in her shoulders and neck before swooping down the expanse of her back slowly and in a soothing manner.

With every caress that passed over Emma's back and occasionally her arms, she could felt every last shaky breath as Emma struggled to keep herself together. Regina realized how intimate the gesture was, but it did nothing to stop her. It did nothing to make her reel back and realize that maybe she was overstepping her bounds.

"It could've been him," Emma murmured, her body shaking with every barely suppressed sob she allowed to fall free. "He could be dead right now, Regina."

"He's not," Regina whispered and without thinking, she wrapped her arms around Emma who immediately melted into her embrace. "He's in surgery. He'll be fine. He'll be fine."

She had never openly embraced Emma in a moment so highly emotional and uncertain before. She stroked her right hand over the back of her head and laced her fingers through Emma's hair soothingly, feeling the otherwise strong woman start to break apart in her embrace. She swallowed her own tears when she felt the sting of Emma's tears against her neck and shoulder, tears that latest only but a moment before Emma fell back to the very façade she'd lived under her whole life.

Her touch became far more intimate that she meant for it to in that moment and as Emma reeled back, their eyes met and for that very short moment, the rest of the world just seemed to fall away and all that was there was her and Emma. If they weren't in Dr. Whale's office in the midst of the biggest tragedy Storybrooke had ever known that was not directly related to any of the curses and villains that they'd all had to endure over the last handful of years, that very moment would have changed absolutely everything between each other.

Perhaps it did change everything, but their moment was all but ripped away from them at the very sound of David calling out for Emma, effectively causing them to jump apart just before he stormed into Whale's office.

"It's getting out of control," David said in a rush and he looked at Regina in an almost desperate plea for help. "Snow—she's not…cut out for addressing a crowd in a crisis such at this. Regina, we need you. We need your help to calm these parents down before they rip half this hospital apart."

"What do you think we should do?" Emma asked.

"We need a voice of reason," David replied as he looked at Regina. "Regina? Can you—"

"Of course," Regina said as she smoothed down her clothes, her poise that of a Queen, former. Mayor, former. "What are we going to tell these parents? This is a matter that needs to be dealt with rather delicately…"

[X]

Regina sat in the only chair inside the private room in the hospital beside the bed where Henry was fast asleep due to the copious amounts of pain medications and sedatives he was still under. It had been six hours since the tragic accident and things had barely calmed down. After her informal address to the distraught parents whose children were involved, Regina had found her own sense of solace in the privacy of her son's hospital room a whole two hours before he was out of surgery.

She hadn't seen or spoken with Emma since the informal address she'd made to the parents in an attempt to find some sense of peace in all the chaos, so when she heard the door to their son's room open quietly, she couldn't fight that small smile that curled over her lips at the sight of the woman she'd fallen so hopelessly in love with. Emma returned it, just for the briefest of moments, before she retreated to Henry's bedside and brushed aside is too long hair from just over his eyes and placed a soft, lingering kiss on his forehead.

"Has we woken up yet?"

"Not yet," Regina said softly. "Not likely until tomorrow, I've been told. Do you know what happened?"

"I've got a few statements from those on the bus, but it's too vague," Emma groaned quietly as she placed both hands flat on the side of the hospital bed near Henry's hand that lay limply and still at his side. "The bus was on it's way up to New Brunswick, took a wrong turn and ended up driving past the town line. Regina, that's not supposed to be able to happen, is it?"

"What _happened_, Emma?"

"Bus driver just said that one minute the road was clear and the next there are a dozen teenage boys in the middle of the road. He said he hit the breaks hard, but he'd been going over the limit and the breaks slipped. He—he hit a couple of the boys but by the time he stopped—"

Emma broke down into tears in that moment and Regina shot up from the chair and wrapped her arms around her from behind, pulling her away from the side of their son's hospital bed. With every step they took together away from the bed, Regina managed to turn Emma in her arms until Emma had her strong arms wrapped tightly around her.

"Two of the boys who died were Lost Boys," Emma whispered into Regina's hair. "Another was some boy named Josh Sanders and—and the other was Nicholas Zimmer."

"Nicholas was one of—oh dear," Regina frowned, looking over at their son in the bed. "Have you talked to his father?"

"Whale is breaking the news to the parents and from what I heard, Michael didn't take the news well at all. He had to be taken to psych to be sedated," Emma replied and she leaned back to look into Regina's eyes. "Nick was Henry's best friend."

"I know."

"It's going to devastate him, Regina."

"I know," she sighed and she couldn't find it in her to tear her eyes away from Emma. "No matter how he takes this, you and I are going to be here for him every step of the way. We'll help him any way that we can and it won't be easy for him knowing he survived and his best friend didn't."

"Maybe we can wait to tell him," Emma said, looking away first as she looked over at Henry for a moment and neither stepped out of their embrace just yet. "Whale said he's got a long recovery ahead of him. He has a couple of pins in his right arm and after he heals, he'll need to do some physical therapy since Whale said there was—"

"Possible nerve damage," Regina finished for her. "I know. He spoke with me shortly after Henry was out of surgery."

"He's going to be—"

"Our son is going to be fine," she said firmly, reaching up to cup Emma's face gently as she saw the uncertainty in her eyes. "Have you eaten?"

"Not since brunch."

"I made roast for dinner," Regina said and a bitter laugh escaped past her lips. "Your birthday dinner is still sitting on the counter, waiting to be eaten."

"What about—"

"Henry will be sleeping throughout the night. The nurses are going to monitor him. He'll be sedated and medicated. We can come first thing in the morning, or if you would like, we can come back after we eat and spend the night here with him?"

"Okay."

Regina smiled at her softly before leaning in to kiss her forehead. She wrapped her arms around her tighter and within seconds they were standing in her kitchen, the faint smell of the cooked roast still lingering in the air. With a bit of reluctance, Regina stepped out of Emma's warm, strong embrace and turned the stove on to reheat the roast she'd cooked especially for Emma for her birthday dinner.

Emma stepped out of the kitchen to take a phone call while Regina busied herself with getting dinner reheated and plated. She'd had plans to make this a rather romantic meal, but that had been long before the accident happened. She doubted that Emma was in the mood for romance with their son in the hospital with a badly broken arm. She made a quick trip into the dining room she'd prepared earlier and removed the unlit candles from the middle of the round table.

Regina knew there'd be other opportunities for them to have a private, romantic dinner together. It wasn't as if they were even together, but it had meant to be a gesture to Emma, a none too subtle sign of what Regina was interested in having with her. She knew that it might be pushing things a little bit, but it had taken them a long time to get to this point, but it also had only been a short amount of time since they'd taken that first step. But that first step had been more like a giant leap and now it felt like they were set back twice as far.

She was being pulled in several different directions all at once when it came to Emma Swan. While she truly did value their friendship, there was no denying that there definitely could be something more between them. Emma, however, was confused about things, about _her_ and Regina knew she had to be nothing short of patient with her.

"Everything okay?" Regina asked when she returned to the kitchen to find Emma sitting at the island countertop with her chin resting on her hand. "Emma?"

"Another boy didn't make it," she sighed. "He died during a second operation half an hour ago."

"Is he—"

"A friend of Henry's?" Emma asked and she frowned as she nodded her head slightly. "Chris Peters."

"The name doesn't sound familiar," Regina replied.

"He's the shy one. Blonde hair, bit small for his age. Pretty sure Henry told me once that he never came over here when Henry stays with you because he's freaking terrified of you. Was."

Even Regina knew what Emma was thinking in that moment because she was thinking it as well. Henry never really had a lot of friends and the ones he had were now dead because of a tragic accident that should have never happened in the first place.

The last curse was still very much in effect as far as Regina knew. Nobody had left the town for over a year and a half, the last being people who had chosen to leave Storybrooke behind for good. There was no way that it had been possible for that bus to enter Storybrooke, not after Gold's return and the defeat of Ursula, Cruella, and Maleficent that closed the tiny portal that had made it possible for them to come to Storybrooke.

Going to Gold for answers was pointless. The man had mentally declined since then and no one seemed to know where he was currently or if he was still in town at all. As far as she was concerned, there would be no possible way to find out _how_ that bus crossed the town line unless they were about to face another threat to their very existence. And if Gold was somehow behind the reason that bus was allowed to pass the town line, Regina would be that first in a very long line to kill him.

"Hey, you okay?" Emma asked as she placed a hand gently on Regina's back.

"I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"About how that bus was able to pass through the line," she replied and Emma dropped her hand away from her back slowly. "We need to find out how that was even possible."

"How?"

"That, I do not know," Regina sighed. "Perhaps we can worry about it tomorrow."

"I'll talk to David later about it. I'm sure if we all—"

"We'll find our answers, one way or another," Regina cut her off, not wanting to drudge up Emma's parents into the conversation after a rather emotionally draining day. "Come on, dear, dinner should be warm enough to eat now."

[X]

Emma sighed as she slouched further in the chair, the leather groaning slightly under the movement. She hadn't been able to sleep and after giving up the cot that was brought into the room for one of them to sleep on while they stayed with Henry overnight, Emma had taken the chair thinking she could catch an hour or two of sleep.

No such luck.

Checking the clock for the hundredth time in the last hour, she groaned as she got up from the chair. The cafeteria didn't open until six and it was five to. She wasn't hungry, but the vending machine coffee tasted like dirt and she really needed a strong cup of coffee. She walked over to the cot and gently nudged Regina awake.

"I'm going down to get some coffee, do you want anything?" She whispered, mindful of not waking Henry in case the sedatives had worn off enough for him to wake up.

"I'll come with you," Regina said as she got up from the cot slowly. "I cannot sleep on that dreadful thing for a moment longer."

Emma flashed a smile at her before leading the way out of the private room and down the hallway to the elevator. She jabbed the button with her finger and turned to look at Regina as she stifled a yawn and ran her fingers through her hair to try to make herself look presentable. The doors slid open and Emma let Regina step inside before she stepped in behind her and they rode in silence to the lobby.

The lobby was dead quiet, save for the small radio that was playing lowly at the nurses station and Emma led the way down the main hallway to the small cafeteria where a few people were waiting outside the door for it to open. A gentle tap on Emma's shoulder had her turning around and she let out a small gasp as she recognized the woman now standing in front of her.

"I thought that was you, Emma."

"Lily?"


	9. Chapter 9

Emma did a double take at the stunning woman in front of her and despite it having been just over eighteen years since she'd seen her last, there was no mistaking just who she was. Emma could never forget her, could never forget her eyes or that smile.

"Lily, what are you—I mean, not that it's good to see you, but what are you doing here in Storybrooke?"

"I was on the bus," she said solemnly.

Emma frowned and she subtly leaned into Regina's hand that suddenly touched her lower back. Lily raised an eyebrow as she noticed the gesture that was meant to comfort Emma since they were both still shaken up over the tragedy and their son. The three of them stayed out in the hallway as the others filed into the now open cafeteria.

"What are you doing here? Are you hurt?" Emma asked.

"I'm fine, just a bit rattled," Lily replied. "And the rooms at the bed and breakfast are all booked so one of the doctors, Dr. Whale, offered us a couple of empty rooms here to stay in for the time being. Someone from the sheriff's station said we can't leave."

"You really can't," Emma replied. "We need to take statements from all witnesses before anyone can leave town. I'm pretty sure, accident or not, some of the parents of the boys who were…killed are going to want to press charges against the driver."

"We? Are you a police officer now, Emma?"

"She's the Sheriff," Regina replied, her hand pressing firmer into Emma's lower back in what felt like an almost possessive way. "Do you want to join us for coffee, dear?"

"I was coming down here for my daily caffeine fix anyway. If you don't mind?" Lily asked and Emma shook her head no. "Is this your…girlfriend, Emma?"

"My girlfriend? Hardly," Emma laughed and she stepped away from Regina as she headed into the cafeteria. "Regina and I are just friends."

Emma chewed her bottom lip as she watched Regina walk off towards table by the window. She wasn't sure what to make of Regina's reaction and after grabbing a coffee for herself and Regina, she and Lily joined her at the table. Despite it having been such a long time since she'd seen Lily, she felt like she'd gone right back to that very last day they'd spent together. She forgot about the betrayal for a moment, how Lily had lied to her and broke her heart in the end.

She sat next to Regina as Lily started talking about the reason why she'd been on that bus headed for New Brunswick. As she listened to Lily talk about a job offer for a position as a supply teacher at a school board, she did not miss the subtle way that Regina's hand fell to her thigh under the table and she shifted rather uncomfortably under the possessive touch. Emma was all too attentive to the woman across from her, choosing to focus on her and not at all on the hand that stroked over her jean clad thigh.

"I never thought I'd see you again, Emma," Lily said honestly a smile curling over her lips. "I never expected you'd end up here. I thought you were a big city girl?"

"I am, was, it's kind of a long story," Emma replied with a shrug. "I—we have a son," she said as she looked at Regina for a moment. "I gave him up when he was born, Regina adopted him. He found me in Boston when he was ten. The rest, well, that is a story for another time."

"You have a son?"

"He is one of the boys involved in that unfortunate, tragic accident," Regina answered for her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear your son is involved. It's truly tragic. I couldn't sleep at all last night because of the things I'd seen. Is your son going to be all right?"

"He'll be fine, he's got a severely broken arm and is banged up, but he'll be fine," Emma replied and Lily placed a hand over her well-endowed chest and breathed a sigh of relief. "Just a heads up, we'll be taking statements throughout the day so you might want to stick around where we can find you."

"Of course," Lily smiled. "So, what's the story with you two?"

"Story?" Emma asked and she cast a sideways glance at Regina. "We don't really have a story."

"Don't be so modest, dear," Regina mirthlessly replied. "Our story is rather complex," she said to Lily who nodded and sipped her coffee. "But," Regina paused, squeezing just above Emma's knee before moving her hand to her own lap. "I'll let Emma tell you the entire story when she's willing to. I am going to head back up to our son's room in case he wakes up."

Emma nodded and couldn't help but let her eyes linger on Regina as she exited the cafeteria quite quickly without looking back. Emma sighed and turned her attention back to Lily. She smiled at her and sipped her coffee, knowing the inevitable was coming. Lily wanted her story and Emma knew that by the time they finished their coffee, she would've only just reached the tip of the iceberg when it came to her own life after she'd seen her last, her son, Storybrooke, her parents, and her ongoing, complicated relationship with Regina Mills, former Evil Queen and resident of the Enchanted Forest.

Emma downed the last of her coffee and inhaled sharply. What she was about to tell Lily could go one of two ways and she really wasn't in any kind of a hurry to see just how she'd react to the things she was about to tell her.

[X]

Regina muttered under her breath as she approached Henry's room just as Dr. Whale exited, his eyes focused on the chart in front of him. After a half-hearted apology for nearly running into her, Regina pushed past him and into the room to find a very groggy Henry awake in the bed and partially propped up.

"Henry," Regina whispered, welling up with emotion as she rushed to his bedside. "Henry, my little prince, how are you feeling?"

"Not good."

Regina had a mix of a smile and a frown on her face as she pushed back his shaggy hair from his forehead and kissed his slightly clammy skin. "Do you know where you and what happened?"

"Mom, Dr. Whale told me," he said quietly, his voice slightly slurred from the drugs still in his system. "He just said there was a tragic accident. A bus came out of nowhere."

"It crossed the town line."

"That shouldn't have happened, should it?" Henry asked in a hushed whisper and all Regina could do was nod. "What about my friends? Is everyone else okay?"

"Henry, you need to rest—"

"Are they okay?"

"Not all of them, no," Regina frowned and she took his uninjured hand in hers. "Henry, perhaps now is not the time. You need to rest."

"What happened to my friends?" Henry demanded, his voice strong yet shaky. "Mom?"

Regina inhaled sharply as she rubbed over his arm. "There were a few fatalities. You were so very lucky to have survived the accident," she whispered and she had to look away as tears sprung into his glassy eyes.

"Is Nick okay?"

"No, Henry, he's not," Regina replied. "He died," she said, her bottom lip trembling as she watched his reaction carefully. "Josh and Chris didn't make it as well."

"No…"

"Two others were Lost Boys," Regina continued, her voice but a whisper. "Henry—"

"My friends are dead?"

"Henry—"

"They're _dead_?" Panic filled his features as he shifted in the bed and he whimpered as his broken arm, being held in place by a suspended sling and not yet fitted with a cast swayed painfully.

"I'm so sorry," Regina whispered, moving to kiss over his clammy forehead again. "Your mom and I wanted to wait to tell you. I'm so sorry that you lost your friends this way."

Regina was not at all prepared for this conversation and a part of her wished that Emma was right there with her. She felt stronger when she was there at her side in times that were too difficult to face alone. Emma had become her rock over the years and when she wasn't near, she didn't feel as strong. Regina inhaled shakily and wiped away Henry's tears as they fell.

"Henry," she whispered softly, looking at her son, her teenaged son who had grown up so very much in the last handful of years. No longer a little boy and well on the path to becoming a man.

"Where's Mom?"

"She's—"

"She's here, isn't she?"

"Yes, she is. Of course she is."

"Why isn't she _here_?"

"Henry—" Regina stopped short suddenly. What was she supposed to tell him? Did she lie and tell him his mother was working, taking statements from witnesses? Or did she tell him the truth and tell him that his mother was having coffee with an old friend who just so happened to be on the very same bus that caused the town's most devastating tragedy in all the years that its existed?

"Is she working?"

"Yes," she replied, the lie coming far too easily. "I'm sure she'll be up here soon to see you."

"I want to go home."

"I can speak with Dr. Whale and find out when you can come home if you'd like? I do know he wants to keep you here for a few days."

"Why?" Henry asked, his voice taking on a tone of anger and frustration. "My arm is just broken. It's not like there's anything else wrong with me, is there?"

"No, you were very lucky that there is nothing else wrong with you aside from some bumps—"

"Then why do I have to stay here?"

"Henry, you've just had surgery—"

"I want to go home, Mom!" Henry said more forcefully and it caused Regina to wince. "I don't want to stay here anymore."

"I know," Regina trembled, wishing she could gather him into her arms, but she couldn't, not with the various IV's and wires sticking out of his body and for the fact his arm was in a suspended sling. Instead she chose to take his left hand in hers and squeezed it gently. "It's only for a couple of days, Henry. I'll stay here for as long as you would like me to."

"Fine."

"Is there anything you'd like me to get for you? Comics? Are you hungry? I can find out what they're serving for breakfast and if you'd rather not eat that, I can always run to Granny's or even go home and make something special for you."

"I'm not—I'm a little thirsty."

Regina spied the pitcher of icy water on the table by the window along with a few plastic cups. She gave his hand one last squeeze before she moved to pour him a cup of icy water and after figuring out how to move the bed up a little more, she helped him take a few small sips from the flimsy plastic cup. He groaned quietly and shook his head no. Regina frowned and placed the cup on the bedside table and she pulled the leather chair that Emma had attempted to sleep in up next to the bed.

"Are they really…dead?"

"I'm so sorry, dear."

"It doesn't feel real."

Regina swallowed thickly, unsure of how to handle this alone. "I know it doesn't, Henry."

"I want to go to their funeral, Mom."

"I'm not sure if you'll be—"

"I _want_ to go. I _have_ to go. Who is going to give Nick's eulogy? Nobody knew him as well as I did. Not his sister, definitely not Mike. Nobody but me knew what made him laugh the most."

"I don't know when there will be a funeral, dear. I imagine it'll be in a couple of days, but I am not sure if you'll be out of here by then or if you'll even be allowed to leave if you are still here."

"Can you find out?" Henry asked with pleading, tear-filled eyes. "Please, Mom? If they're really gone, I want to be able to say goodbye."

"I promise you that I will find out, Henry. As soon as I can," she promised him, sealing her promise with a soft kiss on his cheek. "Get some rest, my little prince. I am going to go speak with Dr. Whale now and find out all that I can for you."

"Okay."

Regina kissed his cheek once more before rising from the chair. She watched him as he tried to fight the drowsiness as the medication in his IV whooshed through the line and into his body. She waited until his eyes were closed before she left his room and went off in search of Whale. She rounded the corner in the hallway that led to the elevators and stopped short.

Just off to the side of the elevators she caught sight of Emma with her back to her and she wasn't alone. Regina veered to the left, her line of sight shifting and her stomach churned at the sight of what she saw. Emma kissing Lily. Lily kissing Emma. Whoever was kissing whom, it didn't matter because it was clear that the kiss was happening mutually, and the feeling of betrayal, of heartache settled in very quickly for Regina.

She couldn't stand to see the sight in front of her for any longer and she turned on her heels with tears burning in her eyes and headed for the stairwell. It was there, once the door had shut behind her, that she felt a fiery rage boiling inside of her, a feeling that had once been all too familiar, and a feeling she had since thought she'd never have reason to feel again.

[X]

It took Emma a few moments before she reeled back from Lily with a start. They'd been talking since Regina had left, but she had yet to get around to telling her the truth behind Storybrooke. While Emma knew she should be in Sheriff mode, she had yet to get there yet, just enjoying a conversation with an old friend she'd barely knew for long at the time, but they had shared something on such an intimate level that there was no denying that even eighteen years later they still shared that special bond that had been immediate before and immediate once again.

The kiss had been out of nowhere and one that had started as gratitude. Emma still wasn't sure what had compelled her to offer Lily a place to stay for the next handful of days—or however long it took for her to arrange a way out of Storybrooke and up to where a new chapter of her life awaited in New Brunswick, Canada.

The kiss had brought back too many memories of her first and only time with the now grown Lily, as beautiful as ever, maybe even more so, and in the few moments she'd allowed herself to give in, to kiss her back, she knew she was reaching for something that had long since been within her grasp. Back when they were fourteen, fifteen years old, Lily had sparked a sense of hope in her she'd never had before in her life. She had thought until she discovered everything they had was based off of lies, that maybe she could find love, run away with the beautiful brunette girl who seemed to get her when nobody else ever had.

It was why it hurt so much when it all fell apart. It was why she'd had so much trouble since that moment on trusting anyone in relationships, Neal Cassidy becoming the exception only a few years later.

It was also why she allowed herself to indulge in the kiss because it brought back that lingering feeling of hope, but it also felt wrong. Deep in her gut, she felt as if she were being pulled apart at the seams. First she'd basically told Lily that there was nothing going on between her and Regina when that was a flat out lie, but it had been automatic, part of her walls she always had built up all around her at all times. And telling her that there was no story between her and Regina either had been her way of trying to avoid the topic at all costs because what she and Regina had—if they even still had anything after the way Regina all but stormed out of the cafeteria—it was still so very new and confusing and she had a lot of things to figure out yet.

"Emma?"

The sound of her father's voice pulled her from the trance she'd fallen into once she'd broken away from the kiss. Her cheeks flushed, wondering if he'd caught her kissing the stunning brunette who just stood in front of her silently.

"Emma?" David said again as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "Didn't you get my texts?"

"I haven't checked my phone since I woke up from the total lack of sleep I got last night. Why, what's up?"

"The parents involved are demanding justice," David said and he ran his hand over his short, buzzed hair and shook his head. "We need to get statements, put together a case against the bus driver. The parents want retribution immediately."

"Of course," Emma nodded, suddenly and easily switching gears into calm and collected Sheriff mode. "Is there a plan of action? Are we going to talk to them…here or down at the station?"

"I was thinking since some are grieving and other's are just angry that it'd be best if we interviewed the witnesses down at the station, one by one. We already have the bus driver in lockup. Voluntary in a sense," David said with a slight shrug. "I'm just making a round, trying to find the passengers that were on the bus. Whale informed me that at least eight of them are temporarily staying here since the B&amp;B is full."

"You can take my statement first," Lily said as she took a step forward. "I was one of the passengers on the bus. I didn't see everything that happened, but I saw most of it."

"Oh?"

"We can do this here or at the station," Lily continued. "What happened was so very unfortunate and so very tragic. I'll do anything I can to help bring some sense of justice and peace to those families who lost their children because of this tragedy."

"Of course," David nodded. "Do you know any of the other passengers that were on the bus?"

"Personally? No, but I can recognize them. I've never been able to forget a face. Especially not hers."

She winked at Emma as she spoke and all Emma could do was hope to hell that David missed the obvious look on Lily's face that matched her own flushed cheeks. Emma shook it off as quickly as she could manage. With everything that had been happening in just the last week, she was on edge and not one she could very easily overcome, but one she'd easily fall off of if she wasn't careful.

"David, I'm just going to check in on Henry, see if he's awake, and then I can round up the witnesses that are staying here and meet you down at the station in say an hour?"

"All right, I'll head down to the bed and breakfast, round up the witnesses there. We'll set up a rotation once we have everyone down at the station. Ruby and Tink are already there and waiting to start," David said and with a sharp nod, he stepped into the elevator when it opened.

"Who was that?" Lily asked her quietly as they made their way down the hallway to Henry's private room. "Emma?"

"Oh, that's David my uh, fa—favorite deputy," she quickly recovered, still not quite ready to tell Lily everything about Storybrooke and its residents or even about her parents. She came to a stop in front of her son's room and turned to Lily. "I'll just be a minute."

"All right. I need to make a phone call anyway."

Emma nodded and entered the room, quietly shutting the door behind her as she let out a shaky breath. Lily being in Storybrooke was only going to be the source of complications. She knew that much already the moment Lily had tapped her on the shoulder just outside the cafeteria. Lily being in Storybrooke would cause an obvious setback between her and Regina and whatever it is that was going on between them. It was the last thing that Emma needed, but with the recent tragedy, there would've been a setback anyway despite it all.

She walked over to the bed and smiled down at Henry. He was fast asleep and yet her smile had faded when she noticed the tears that stained his cheeks. She wondered if he'd woken up in the time that Regina had been there and then left, she realized as she looked around the room and saw she was nowhere to be found. With a sigh, she kissed Henry's forehead, her lips lingering just for a moment before she headed out of his room, easily slipping back into Sheriff mode.

It was going to be a very long day and one she just couldn't wait to get through quickly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Notes: I feel the need to make something very, _very_ clear right now because people have been jumping to conclusions from the very beginning of this story (and I cannot respond to guest reviewers privately unfortunately) so here's the thing, it is not Emma or Regina who dies in this story (I took the warning off as it hasn't happened yet and won't for a handful more chapter yet) so dear readers, you can rest easy and try to at least enjoy the complex story that I am sharing with you :)**

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Regina returned to the hospital hours after she'd left, transporting herself home once she was inside the stairwell. Her emotions were on edge and staying there would've been dangerous, not just for herself, but also for anyone that came into contact with her. She needed to calm down and the only way she could do that was in the privacy of her own home.

It had been such a long time since she felt that fiery rage burning through her veins and it took a long hot shower for her to calm down just a little bit. After a change of clothes, she started cleaning around the house, finding it almost soothing in a sense. After a few hours, she felt calm enough to return to the hospital and instead of transporting herself there, she drove.

She found Whale in his office and spoke to him about Henry. He told her the same thing he'd told her after Henry had first gotten out of surgery and said that they'd keep an eye on him and if he proves to be stable and the pain is manageable, they'll release him in two days time.

Henry was awake when she entered his room and was not too surprised to find Snow and Neal in there visiting with him. She inhaled sharply and forced a smile as she shut the door behind her and braced herself for the inevitable leg hug the two year old always greeted her with.

"How are you feeling, Henry?"

"Okay, I guess. Considering," he shrugged a little. "Did you talk to Dr. Whale, Mom?"

"I did. He said two more days and only if the pain becomes manageable."

Regina noticed that Snow had brought along a handful of comic books and sugary junk food snacks for Henry that she scowled slightly at. Deciding not to make it an issue, she pulled up the other leather chair next to the bed and sat down.

"Manageable?" Snow asked, her voice laced with concern. "What does that mean?"

"Morphine," Regina said quietly as she made a subtle nod towards the IV machine. "I can only imagine the pain right now."

Henry groaned in an overly dramatic way. "I feel fine, Mom."

"I know you do, dear, but it's because you are receiving a rather healthy dose of pain medication on the regular right now along with a host of other medications."

"What kind of medications?" Snow asked and Regina had to fight to keep from rolling her eyes.

"Antibiotics and some others to keep infection from happening, and to help his body not reject the pins and rods he has in his arm," she replied and Henry groaned again quietly. "You know, you are very lucky, Henry. Your arm is very badly broken. You could've—"

"Lost it?" Henry asked, seemingly unfazed by the severity of his injury. Upon Regina's stern look, he frowned. "That bad, huh?"

"Yes, Henry, it's that bad and that is why you are staying here for a few more days."

"Okay," he frowned and with his uninjured hand, he fiddled with the stark white sheets on the bed next to his hip. "Where's Mom?"

"At the station," Snow answered quickly. "She and David are taking witness statements regarding the accident. I'm sure she'll come back as soon as they're done. She has been terribly worried about you, Henry. We all have been."

"It's just a broken arm," Henry muttered under his breath. "It's not like I'm dead or anything."

"Henry—"

"My friends are dead, Mom!" Henry almost yelled at her, but he kept his voice even because Neal was in the room and currently in the process of trying to climb up onto Regina's lap despite her none too subtle attempts at pushing the toddler away. "Dead! I'm not, but I got to live without them now. Do you know what that feels like?"

"I do."

"Do you?" Henry asked, his eyes filling with dangerous and very angry emotion as he stared right at her. "You've killed people before! You don't know what it is like!"

"That was a lifetime ago," Snow said as she came to Regina's defense without hesitation. "Who your mother is now is not who she used to be, Henry. She loves you so very much and that is all that should matter."

"I have lost many people I have cared about and not all by my own hand, Henry. Sometimes in life, you cannot have control over the things that happen. What happened yesterday was a tragedy no one could've seen coming. I know you are feeling many things at the moment and anger is one of them," Regina said calmly and she gave up on the two year old and allowed him to climb up into her lap. "Angry, confused, upset," she continued. "It is something all of us have experienced at one point or another and the very worst thing you can do is feel like it should have happened to you as well."

"Nick pushed me away when he saw the bus," Henry said quietly, turning his head away from Regina and Snow to look out the window. "I just remember going down hard and the squealing of tires, screams and then nothing but silence."

"Henry," Snow said softly before Regina herself could speak. "Do you think that maybe once you're out of the hospital that maybe you'd want to speak with Dr. Hopper about the accident?"

"I think that's a wonderful idea," Regina said with a small smile as Snow looked over at her. It'd been a thought she'd had earlier, especially since living through such a horrible tragedy would no doubt leave one in a distressed tangent. "Henry?"

"Whatever," he muttered and reached for the button to administer himself another dose of morphine. "I'm kind of tired. Can you guys come back later or something?"

"Of course," Regina said without hesitation. She let the toddler down on to the floor and leaned over as she stood up to kiss her son's forehead. "Do you want me to bring you something for dinner in a couple of hours, Henry?"

"Whatever they bring me is fine, you don't have to."

"I know I don't have to, I _want_ to."

"Whatever is fine, I guess," he shrugged, his eyes already beginning to close as the morphine pumped through his body. "Maybe a cheeseburger."

Regina sighed and leaned over to kiss his forehead again before motioning to Snow to follow her out of the small room and into the hallway. Neal didn't want to leave, but after a quiet scolding from his mother, he pouted and allowed himself to be picked up without further fussing. Regina gently closed the door behind her and sighed as she turned to Snow.

"I'm worried about him," she said quietly. "Not only because he's injured, but for his mental state as well. I know he'll be unwilling to speak with Archie when the time comes and that is entirely my own fault for forcing him into therapy years ago."

"Maybe you can get Emma to talk to him about it?" Snow suggested. "Or maybe even David or myself can speak with him about going to Dr. Hopper. I'm worried about him too, Regina."

"I just feel like I am completely useless right now. I cannot help my own son recover from this tragedy and I do not want to risk a healing spell now that he has those pins and rods in his arm."

"What are you thinking?"

"Magic is not the answer," Regina sighed in spite of the thousand different thoughts she had rattling around in her mind of how to help Henry, how to heal him not just physically, but mentally as well. Regina ran her hands shakily through her hair. "He needs to talk to someone, maybe not Dr. Hopper, but he will need to talk to someone about what he lived through, and he will need to learn how to cope with the loss of his closest friends—his only friends."

"I know, Regina," Snow whispered and she placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, one that Regina did not pull away from. "Don't worry, Henry has a lot of people who love him and will help him through this trying time. We're all going to be there for him."

"I don't doubt that. I'm just—"

"Worried about him, I know. We all are. This is only just the beginning and I can tell you that it will not be easy, not for Henry, not for you or Emma, but you need to know that we're not only here for Henry, we're here for you too."

From the emotional look in Snow's eyes, Regina couldn't find it in herself to stop her before the shorter woman wrapped her arm around Regina while clutching onto her young son. Regina reluctantly hugged them both before shrugging herself out of Snow's tight embrace. Her eyes darted around the virtually empty hallway to make sure no one saw the former Evil Queen and Snow White share such a small yet intimate moment.

Regina smoothed down her black blazer jacket and smiled at Snow, words failing to come to her with all the swirling emotions inside of her. She ran a hand over Neal's soft, wavy blonde hair, just now noticing how much he looked like Emma.

It was all it took for those deeper emotions to resurface once again and she shook her head before turning on her heels and walking quickly down the hall towards the elevators. She was feeling on edge again and the trigger had been Emma's baby brother of all things this time around. It was preposterous and she knew she needed to find a way to stop herself from feeling the way she did when it came to Emma Swan.

Falling in love with Emma had not been something she'd intended, nor could've predicted when she had shown up on her front walkway to return their son so many years ago. Falling in love with Emma hadn't happened easily either, but it had happened and once she had come to that very realization, she knew that squeezing her out of her heart and her soul would be absolutely impossible. Falling in love wasn't supposed to _hurt_ so much, but it did when it came to loving none other than Emma Swan.

Regina clenched her fists the entire elevator ride down to the lobby and she ignored the few friendly greetings from the people she passed by on her way out the front door. She had to fight the urge to transport herself to the privacy of her own home with being on the very verge of losing the fight against the anger and jealously swirling inside of her. She stormed across the parking lot to where she'd parked her car and she fumbled with her keys, giving up the second time she dropped them to the ground and magically unlocking the door with a simple flourish of her fingers.

She was unable to recall how many times since the news of the tragedy came, just how many times she wondered just how things would've played out if that bus had never crossed the town line. She'd had a romantic dinner planned and she was planning on showing Emma just what her intentions truly were before the evening was through.

Things were already complicated enough as it was between the two of them and now there were further complications standing in the way. She might have given up on finding her happy ending, but she hadn't given up on it completely. Her happy ending wasn't written in some storybook or left up to the fate of pixie dust that had failed her and gave her false hope. Her happy ending was in her own hands and it was up to her to find it, to grasp on to it and make it happen.

Her happy ending was Emma Swan.

[X]

Emma pinched the bridge of her nose as she stared down at the paper cup of coffee and stirred slowly, watching the creamer mix with the hot liquid slowly. Her head was pounding and she was beyond exhausted. Hours of taking witness statements had taken a toll, but between her and David, they'd talked to every passenger that had been on that bus and got their statements, ninety percent of them stating that one minute they were cruising down a winding, empty road, and the next was nothing but chaos as the driver slammed on the breaks and the bus slid out of control.

"Hey, we're done. Go home," David said gently from behind her. "Emma?"

"I'm fine, I just need some coffee."

"You've had a long day," he said softly, frowning when she shook her head. "You need to get some rest, Emma."

"I'm fine, David."

He sighed and ran his hand over his closely cropped hair. "There is nothing more we can do here, Emma. We have witness statements and the bus driver is in the cell where he belongs. I'll handle the paperwork we need to have to formally charge him with vehicular manslaughter."

"He'll get a year, or at least he would outside of this town," Emma said, her hands shaking as she picked up the paper cup of coffee. "You can't convict him for any longer, not on a first offense and not when you take into account that he crossed the town line. The outside world is a different place, David, and if this happened anywhere else—"

"It didn't happen anywhere else, it happened _here_," David stated and she laughed harshly. "We can convict this man. The parents of those boys who died because of this tragedy want justice."

"You don't understand," Emma snapped. "That man is not from the Enchanted Forest, you cannot convict him under the laws you and Snow have enforced in this town. I understand that the parents of those boys want justice and they deserve it, but in the real fucking world, that man would get a year, if that! If this was someone who resided here in town, it'd be a whole different story, but it's not!"

"Then what do you want to do?"

"We can charge him formally and I know that in some states there is a fine, but that is all we can do," she sighed and she sipped her already lukewarm coffee. "When are we going to replace that damn machine? It doesn't even run hot anymore!"

"Emma," David said as he gently placed both hands on her tense shoulders. "Go home and get some rest. Please?"

Emma downed her coffee and gasped softly as she crushed the paper cup in her hands. She did need to get some rest and she needed to clear her head, but going home would've provide any of that, not when she knew that Lily was there waiting for her. Just the fact that she knew it was pretty much inevitable that she'd have to tell Lily the truth about everything was making her head spin, her temples already throbbing as the dull headache settled in. The fact that that bus should've never been able to cross the town line created a host of problems in itself.

She knew how crazy it'd sound just telling her the story behind Storybrooke and the people that resided there, she'd been in the same boat before when her son had first found her. If Lily was staying with her and would be in town for a handful of days, it was inevitable that she tell her at least the very basics of the story itself.

"Emma?"

"I'm going," she sighed as she looked at her father. "Make sure those witnesses—"

"Don't leave town," David replied. "They won't be leaving. Not while this investigation is ongoing. We'll get through this as quickly as we can."

"What if they can't leave?"

"Because of the town line?" David asked and he shook his head. "They're not from here. I don't believe that it'll affect them the way it would affect any of us. They were all on their way somewhere else. There's no reason for them to stay here."

"But how were they even able to come here in the first place?"

"Emma, please go home and get some rest. We'll deal with this investigation and then we'll deal with finding the answers when we can," he sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders. "You need to go home and get some sleep. I will handle things here, okay? Don't worry about Henry, either. He's in good hands at the hospital and your mother already said she'd stay with him tonight so he isn't alone. You and Regina both need to rest and I know you cannot do that staying at the hospital with your son."

"But—"

"Don't you have someone waiting for you?" David asked gently, smiling as he squeezed her shoulders in a reassuring manner. "Lily, isn't it?"

"I don't—she's not—she's just an old friend."

"Just a friend? A friend who you were kissing down at the hospital earlier?"

Emma couldn't meet his eyes, her cheeks burning as she turned to look away from her father. He had seen her kissing Lily in the hospital after all and she didn't have a solid answer as to why it had happened or why she had kissed the stunning brunette. Her parents, after her relationship with Hook had faltered and essentially ended, were always mentioning her finding someone new to date, to fall in love with, to find her own happy ending with. Her mother talked about it more often than he did, but she knew that David felt the same way, that he wanted her to find love and to have what he had with her mother.

It made her wonder how either of them would react if they only knew what had happened between her and Regina. She wondered how either of them would feel if they knew the deep feelings she had for Regina, feelings that rooted in love, feelings she was and wasn't ready to accept herself. While they had a good relationship with Regina now, there was no way that either of them would accept anything more than friendship between the two of them. It just made everything so much more complicated than it already was.

"Emma," David said softly, raising a hand to gently cup her cheek and tilted her head until she had no other choice but to look at him. "She's very beautiful," he smiled. "If there is something going on between you two, just know that I approve and that no, I am not going to tell your mother about her. I'll leave that up to you."

"There's nothing going on," Emma muttered. "Really. We just have a bit of history together and the only reason she was kissing me was because I offered her a place to stay while she's here in Storybrooke, nothing more."

"Are you certain?"

"No."

"Emma, I know that love comes in many forms and that it's not always in a way that we expect. If this woman, if Lily is here in Storybrooke now and back in your life, then maybe you should embrace the second chance you've been given with her."

"I never loved her," she said with a frown and stepped away from him slowly. "We were just kids. We had one night together years ago, that's all. I'm starting to wonder if offering her a place to stay while she's here was nothing but a mistake."

"I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I'm starting to wonder if there is more to the reason behind just why that bus was able to pass the town line."

"David—"

"There was someone on that bus that you know. Someone you have a history with. Perhaps someone who—"

"No," Emma said with a shake of her head. "We're not soul mates or destined to be together or whatever else you're thinking right now."

"It would only make sense seeing how that bus was able to—"

"David, I don't love _her_."

"That doesn't mean that you never will."

Emma frowned and shook her head. She didn't look at love the way her parents did and she knew that she never would, not when she'd gone most of her life without ever knowing what love truly felt like. It wasn't like she was actively searching to find love, to fall in love, but if she was honest with herself, she'd already fallen in love with someone and that someone was not the woman who was waiting for her at her apartment.

That someone was Regina Mills.

But it wasn't as if she was about to readily admit that to her own father.

Emma left the station without exchanging any more words with her father to continue their already awkward conversation that had taken a turn the moment he mentioned Lily. It was a short drive to her apartment and her hands were shaking as she let herself in and found Lily lounging on her couch and flipping through a magazine.

They shared a soft smile as Emma kicked the door shut behind her and she fidgeted with her hands for a moment before Lily rose from the couch and approached her. She diverted her eyes and noticed the suitcases sitting near her bedroom door and before she could say a word, Lily's lips captured her own in a kiss that mirrored the one they'd shared at the hospital. Like she had before, she didn't stop her at first and for some reason or another, she was searching for that very same feeling she'd felt when she kissed Regina.

And she felt nothing.

With a sympathetic smile, Emma broke away from the kiss and shook her head. She couldn't do this. She couldn't fall into whatever it was that Lily was pushing for to happen between them. She couldn't fall for her because she already knew her heart belonged to another whether she wanted it to or not.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes: In case anyone is worried, yes this is still a SwanQueen fic, it's just slow-burn, so I ask for a little bit of patience (and tolerance when it comes to Lily/Emma for the time being) because I have a story to tell and it's not going to be an easy one...**

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Fate was playing such a cruel trick on her life, that she was certain of, and yet she had no control over the events that had happened and the ones that would inevitably follow.

It had been three days since the fatal accident that had rattled the entire town of Storybrooke and the first of the funerals for the victims would take place that very morning. Regina carefully oversaw the orderlies who helped Henry get dressed in a pair of dress pants and a crisp white shirt that had the arm cut off due to the large cast on his arm. Once he was dressed, they informed him he would need to be in a wheelchair to minimize his movement and even Regina knew how much it bothered him.

"When we get to the cemetery, you can walk," Regina whispered to him once the orderlies and the lone nurse in the room were out of earshot. "Okay?"

"Okay," Henry smiled up at her and she fixed his hair a little, biting back her comment about him needing a trim as his hair fell slightly over his eyes. "Is Mom meeting us there?"

"She is as far as I know," Regina replied with a slight nod. "I spoke with her earlier and she informed me that after the funeral you will be going home."

"I am?"

"Yes," Regina smiled at him. "I know you miss your own bed and your own space."

"I can stay there for a few days and maybe come home with you for a few days too?"

"Anything that you want, my little prince."

Regina kissed the top of his head before moving behind the wheelchair to push him out of the room. She gave a curt nod to one of the orderlies who had been instructed earlier to gather Henry's things for her to pick up from the hospital later.

They were quiet once they were in the car and on their way to the small cemetery near the edge of town. Regina parked her car near the others and helped her son get out without jostling his broken arm too much and he linked his good arm into hers, smiling with a small lopsided grin that quickly disappeared. They walked over the soft grass to where the others had gathered and Regina's heart fell at the sight of Michael Tillerman sobbing softly as his daughter hugged him tightly, she too crying over Nicholas' untimely, tragic death.

Regina could not imagine the pain of being a parent and losing their child in such a tragic and sudden way. She herself could never imagine the pain she'd feel dare she ever have to bury her own son long before his time. It would simply destroy her to lose him and she feared of what a loss like that would do to her very fragile soul. Thinking of it only caused for her to hold on to the arm Henry had linked through her own just a little tighter.

The funeral itself was not what was considered traditional. There was no viewing beforehand, nor a service for Michael and his children, like many others that had come from the Enchanted Forest were not believers of religion and the traditions that stemmed from majority of them. There would be a small service before the casket would be lowered into the ground and those who knew the boy would speak a few sentiments on his behalf.

Regina caught sight of a flash of blonde hair just to her left, walking over in the warm morning sunlight with a pair of dark sunglasses on to hide her eyes. She, like everyone else, wore black, but she had skipped a black dress in favor of an outfit similar to their son's. She caught the smile that dared curl over her lips, knowing how inappropriate such gesture was on a day like today, but her lips didn't fail to curl into a frown when she saw that other woman walking behind Emma.

"Hey," Emma said softly as she approached them. "How are you holding up, kid?"

"Okay, I guess," Henry replied quietly. "This doesn't really feel real."

"Never does," Emma replied and she moved to kiss him on the cheek. "Do you know what you're going to say?"

"Yeah, I wrote it down last night," he said and he unlinked his uninjured arm from Regina's and pulled the carefully folded piece of notebook paper out of his pocket. "Hi, Lily," Henry said when Lily joined them seconds later. "I didn't think you were coming today."

"I thought I'd come and pay my respects," she said in a way that made Regina scowl. "I'm here to support you and your mom today."

Regina narrowed her eyes at the none too subtle way that the other woman slipped her hand into Emma's and intertwined their fingers with ease. Regina swallowed thickly, trying to stay in control of her own emotions. Now was not the time to allow her jealousy to sink in, nor was it the time to be furious at the small, open display of affection.

Instead, Regina focused on the familiar faces that gathered around them, watching as a few of them who knew the family well approached Michael and Ava, passing on their condolences in a quiet manner. It was quite some time before Michael stepped forward and shakily used a crisp white handkerchief to wipe away at the steady stream of tears that fell from his eyes.

No words were spoken as he placed a hand on the casket the hovered over the open grave. One by one, all but just a few that weren't too familiar with the family, passed the casket before it was lowered slowly and the sound of Michael sobbing was the only sound that could be heard. Henry reached for Regina's hand and gripped on to it tightly. He was struggling to keep himself together and all she wanted to do was tell him it was okay to let his emotions show openly.

Once the casket had settled deep inside the open grave, Michael was the first to pick up the shovel and toss the first of the earth inside. Ava stepped forward, taking the shovel gently from her father's shaking hands and one by one, everyone took a turn, each one silently pausing to remember Nicholas in their own way before passing the shovel on to the next.

Regina watched Ava approach Henry and she whispered something into his ear quickly before pulling back. Henry just nodded and cleared his throat as he moved to stand in front of the gathered crowd. He cleared his throat again, struggling to open that carefully folded piece of notebook paper with one hand. With a sharp inhale he suddenly looked nervous as all eyes were now on him.

"Nick was my best friend," he began, "and I want to tell you that we'd always been friends, but that's not the case. We didn't become friends until after the second curse broke, but I'm not here to talk about a time where we weren't friends or the curses we've all lived through in this town. I'm here to talk about Nick."

Regina turned to look at Emma and the other woman standing to her left, not missing the perplexed look on the brunette's face as she tugged on Emma's hand and leaned to whisper into her ear.

"Curse? What is he talking about?"

"I'll tell you later, Lily."

Regina didn't catch the other few words they exchanged ever so quietly and she turned to look back at her son who was still struggling to keep himself together. Michael was still crying, but not audibly so any longer, his attention on Henry as he, like the others, waited for Henry to continue.

"I couldn't have asked for a better friend than Nick," Henry continued, his voice taking on a bit of a strain as he spoke. "He could always make me laugh and he always had my back. He loved to spend hours on any given day playing video games and reading comic books with me. He didn't like a lot of things, but he loved his sister Ava and his father more than anything else. Nick wasn't just my best friend," he paused and looked over at both of his mothers with watery eyes before looking over at Michael and Ava. "Nick was like a brother to me and I loved him for that. I'm going to miss him a lot and I know, wherever he is now, he'd tell me to shut up because he always hated when he was the center of attention, didn't he?"

Henry shifted as a soft, dry laugh escaped past his lips and he shook his head. "I don't want to talk about what happened that day, because it's hard to think about it, but I want everyone to know that Nick saved me and I don't know whether to feel forever grateful that my best friend pushed me out of the way or to feel guilty because he sacrificed his life to save me. I do know and I want everyone to know, that in the minutes before he was taken from all of us, he was happy, in the middle of telling a joke I know our parents would ground us for and making the rest of us laugh right along with him."

The breeze picked up as Henry glanced down at the paper in his hand and he frowned. "I wasn't sure what to talk about today and when I started thinking about the things I wanted to say, I realized that today isn't just a day of mourning, it is of celebrating a life, Nick's life, despite how short it truly was. I never had a real friend before him and I will be forever grateful to have known him, for all the laughter between us, and for all the times he stood up for me and all the times I stood up for him. I'm going to miss you, Nick. We all are. We love you."

Regina closed her eyes as the tears burned in them. Her son had amazed her in the way he'd spoken of his friend in a calm and composed manner she had not expected at all. Despite him still being so very young with a long and fruitful future ahead of him, he was wise and mature beyond his years and she felt so very proud of him.

Michael walked over to Henry and carefully hugged him before he whispered his gratitude for him speaking on behalf of his deceased son. Regina watched as Ava stepped forward, mirroring her father's actions before kissing Henry softly on his cheek. He, with Ava's help, folded the paper in his hand and he let it fall into the partially filled open grave before Ava took his hand in hers and they stepped back away as the groundskeeper approached the grave from the other side.

"We're uh, gathering at the diner in honor of Nicholas for brunch," Michael announced to the crowd. "Everyone is more than welcome to join us there, as Henry had so eloquently expressed, to celebrate Nicholas' life."

Regina stood where she was, watching as Emma approached their son and spoke quietly with him and Ava, Lily hovering just a few feet behind them and looking completely out of place. While the others began to head for their vehicles, Regina approached her son and placed a hand on his left shoulder.

"Henry, would you like to ride with me to the diner or have you made other arrangements?"

"I was going to go with Mom," he said quietly. "If that's okay?"

"That's fine, dear," Regina smiled warmly. "I shall meet you there?"

"Yeah," he nodded and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. "I'll see you there."

[X]

The diner was filled with everyone who had attended Nicholas' funeral. Granny had respectfully closed the diner for the private gathering. Regina sat at a table alone, sipping from a cup of hot coffee while letting her eyes linger on the blonde in the booth just a few feet away. She wanted to join her son and his other mother, just as they normally would have on any other given day, but she refused to be anywhere near that other woman who had taken it upon herself to not only attend the funeral of a boy she never knew, but to sit next to the woman that Regina was in love with and share small, intimate gestures she was certain that neither realized were exchanging between one another.

"Regina," Snow said as she sat down across from her, thankfully without her infuriating toddler attached to her hip as he normally was. "How is Henry holding up?"

"Perhaps you should ask him yourself," Regina replied tightly.

"He says he's okay," she said and she frowned. "He's not, is he?"

"He's terribly upset, Snow, as one would be with a loss of a dear friend."

"Of course," Snow nodded and she stared at Regina with a concerned look on her face. "What about you, Regina?"

"What about me?"

"Is there something bothering you?"

"And why on earth would you think that?"

Snow shrugged and fidgeted with the napkin on the table in front of her. "Is it Lily?"

"What do you mean?"

"It's weird, isn't it?" Snow continued. "Seeing Emma with another woman. I'm not really sure how I feel about it. I was just wondering if it bothered you as well."

"Why would the fact that Emma is with another woman bother me?" Regina asked carefully, knowing full well that Snow was fishing and she didn't like it. "What Emma does on her own time is entirely her business, Snow. She assured me that she and that woman are just friends."

"Lily is staying with her."

"I'm well aware."

"Regina," Snow frowned as she leaned forward a little. "I don't know if I should be saying anything, but I went over there this morning and I…walked in on them while they were engaged in a very intimate position. Did you know that Emma was sexually attracted to women, Regina?"

Regina carefully placed her mug down on the table. "No," she said and it was true because Emma had not expressed the sentiment with words at all. "If you'll excuse me, I need to—"

Regina stood, ignoring the sound of Emma calling out her name as she pushed past a few people to reach the door. She stormed out of the diner and barely made it down to the sidewalk when Emma called out her name once again. She had to hold back a bitter laugh at the familiarity of this very same scenario that had played out just a few times before in the time that Emma had been in Storybrooke.

"Regina?" Emma tried again and Regina came to a stop, keeping her back to her. "Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving, as if that weren't obvious."

"Why?"

"I've paid my respects," she replied and she turned slowly to face the blonde that was now just a foot away. "I find no other reason to stay for any longer."

"Oh," Emma frowned. "I kind of wanted to talk to you though."

"About what?"

"Maybe it might be better if Henry goes home with you today."

"Why? Because of that woman who is staying with you?" Regina asked bitterly. "What you do on your own time is your own business and quite frankly, who you invite into your bed is no concern of mine."

"Regina, I'm not—"

"Don't bother," Regina cut her off. "I realize you and that woman have a history together and it is inevitable that you two would reconcile now that she is in town. Just do us both a favor and spare our son from any intimacy that evolves between you two."

"Regina—"

"Don't," Regina said as she glared down at Emma's hand that had reached out for her own and Emma pulled back quickly, as if she'd just been burned. "I can handle your rejection, Emma, but I cannot stand the sight of seeing you with _her_. Perhaps it'll be best if we spend some time apart."

"Regina, will you just stop and let me talk for a minute here please?" Emma pleaded and Regina shook her head before turning to walk away. "Regina, come on! I need to talk to you!"

"You may need to talk to me, but I do not wish to hear what you have to say."

"Regina," Emma sighed as she jogged in front of her and grabbed both of her arms, halting her in the middle of the sidewalk. "I'm not with Lily," she said firmly. "We're not together. We're…I'm not even really sure what we are right now, but—"

"You're having sex with her," Regina said tightly. "That is why you would rather Henry not be there, isn't it not?"

Emma frowned as she dropped her hands away from Regina and stepped back. The look on her face said it all and Regina inhaled sharply, keeping her emotions in check but she wasn't sure if she could for much longer. She knew that there had been something more and something special happening between the two of them before the tragic accident had happened, but that had come to a halt the very moment that the other woman had made her presence known.

Regina shook her head and with a small, sad smile, she walked away from Emma and to where she parked her car just down the street. She couldn't stand there and have that conversation with Emma in the middle of the street, not without losing control over her own emotions. She was strong, but she wasn't strong enough for something like that. It hurt being in love with Emma and it hurt because they had reached a standstill and all because of that infuriating woman who was staying at Emma's apartment and sleeping in her bed.

Regina should've known that it would be impossible for the two of them to ever be together, she should've known that it would be impossible for Emma to want anything more than friendship with her, and she should've known that it would be impossible for Emma to ever fall in love with someone like her.

Willing herself not to cry where anyone could see her, she slipped into her car and gripped on to the steering wheel tight. She was uncertain of how long she'd been sitting there, but a sudden tap on her window startled her from the trance she'd fallen into.

She reached over to unlock the passenger door and Ruby Lucas climbed into the passenger seat a moment later. She placed a hand over Regina's and offered her a small, friendly smile.

"You look like you could use a friend right now," Ruby said, letting her hand fall away as Regina turned to look at her. "A friend and a very strong drink."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Notes: Just wanted to take a moment to thank those who are supporting this story and for your reviews/faves/follows! Thank you for being patient as well. Enjoy!**

* * *

Emma watched Henry and Lily interact animatedly as they sat in the living room hours after the funeral and the wake that was held at Granny's diner. Henry seemed to get along with Lily in a way that made Emma feel a mix of relief and guilt at the same time. Henry knew that she'd been staying there at the apartment since the day after the accident, but Emma wasn't sure if he knew that Lily was sleeping in her bed and that they'd been having sex for the last handful of days.

That's all it was between them, sex, and even though Emma knew that Lily was pushing for more, she knew she was also in a state of denial when it came to the nature of their relationship. She could never fall in love with Lily, not when she had feelings for Regina, feelings that just wouldn't disappear easily or with time.

Her earlier interaction with Regina had left her with a lot on her mind, so much in fact that she had become distracted with nothing but thoughts of the way Regina had talked to her. She knew Regina was hurt and deeply affected over the fact that Lily was staying with her and that she was in the middle of an active, sexual relationship with the other woman. She had tried to see it from another point of view, Regina's specifically, and she knew that Regina had every right to feel as hurt and possibly as betrayed as she was feeling.

She should feel guilty, and she did, but knew it didn't matter because there was no way to justify her sudden relationship with Lily to Regina or even to herself. Emma had been so very confused about where her and Regina's relationship was headed and she pulled a bullheaded move, a rather shitty one at that, by allowing Lily to fall into her bed without a second thought.

Emma felt like a horrible person right now because Regina did not deserve to be cast aside like she was nobody. She wasn't a nobody to Emma, not after everything they'd been through. Emma ran her fingers through her hair and headed for her bedroom where she quickly changed out of the clothes she'd worn for the funeral and into a pair of sweats and a light long-sleeved shirt. She grabbed her running shoes from under her bed and laced them up quickly, barely lifting her head when a soft knock sounded on her partially open bedroom door.

"Hey," Lily said with a slight smile. "Where are you going?"

"I need to go for a run."

"Now?"

"Yes, now," Emma snapped and she grabbed a hair elastic off of the dresser and quickly pulled her hair back into a tight ponytail. "And I think when I get back, it might be best if you're not here."

"Emma—"

"I don't want you here," Emma said heavily as she stared at the wide, teary-eyed brunette now standing in front of her. "I made a mistake with you, with inviting you to stay here with me, with falling into bed with you."

"Where is this coming from?"

"It doesn't matter, does it?"

"Yes, it does matter, Emma!"

"I don't know what you want from me!" Emma yelled at her, not caring that her son was just in the other room and likely eavesdropping on their conversation. "You came back into my life during the single worst tragedy this town has ever faced and I was already so confused before you got here!"

"Confused?" Lily asked. "What are you talking about?"

"When you asked me if Regina was my girlfriend, I should've said yes," she said with a tremble in her voice. "I was and still am confused when it comes to her, but I think I'm in love with her."

"How can you _think_ you're in love with someone, Emma?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Of course I wouldn't understand because you have been so guarded since I ran into you the other day at the hospital. I feel like there's some huge secret and it's not just about this town. I'm right, aren't I?" Lily asked and Emma faltered as she stepped around Lily, needing to get out of there before things escalated even further. "Emma, talk to me, please?"

"I can't. I made a mistake inviting you to stay here with me. I—"

"Made a mistake falling into bed with me, leading me on, allowing me to believe that maybe we could find what we had once before."

"We were kids! What the hell did we have other than one night together? It was all based on lies anyway. You know, sometimes I forget just how much you hurt me when I found out you lied to me. You've always had that way about you, haven't you?" Emma stated and she shook her head, laughing incredulously. "I made a mistake, Lily, and it's a damn fucking shame I'm only seeing it now. I want you gone before I get back, out of my apartment and out of my life. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"Good. Goodbye," Emma said and she stormed out of the bedroom and shook her head at her son as he looked at her questioningly. "Not now, Henry."

"But—"

"I said not now."

[X]

Emma ran through the trails on the north end of town, focusing on the sound of her feet as they hit the hard dirt ground in a staccato rhythm. She ran until her lungs burned and the sting in her gut told her she'd pushed herself too far, but she was determined to get a second, maybe even a third wind because anything was better than stuck inside her own head with a hundred thousand different thoughts swirling inside, further complicating her entire life.

Kicking Lily out was something she had been debating to do for the last day and a half. It had been her conversation with Regina earlier that really pushed her into making that decision as suddenly as she had.

A small part of her knew she would feel guilty about treating the other woman like that, but a bigger part of her felt guilty for allowing her back into her life in the way she had when she already has something between Regina, something she wasn't sure if she'd ever get back. Not now after Regina knew that she'd been having sex with Lily.

She hadn't told her herself, of course, but she'd seen Regina and her mother talking at the diner. There was no doubt in her mind that Snow had told her, not even thinking nor knowing that she and Regina were in the midst of figuring things out between one another.

She pushed herself harder, fighting back the nausea that crept up as the cramps worsened. She turned on the next trail and continued until the trail suddenly ended where the town line was. Panting, she leaned forward, braced her hands against her knees, and struggled to catch her breath as her thoughts came barreling back to her with a force that left her even more winded.

What the hell had she been thinking having sex with Lily when Regina had clearly expressed an interest in pursuing something more with her? If it hadn't been for that accident, they would've had what she knew was a romantic dinner on her birthday together.

Fighting back the nausea, now caused by more than just pushing herself too hard running, she wiped the small sheen of sweat along her brow and turned back the way she'd came. She had to figure her life out, sort through everything she felt when it came to Regina and figure out just what the hell she truly wanted. The long walk back to civilization gave her time to think when she'd done nothing but avoid facing the inevitable thoughts thundering loudly through her mind.

Henry greeted her with a slight scowl on his face that resembled one his other mother gave when she was angry when she walked into the apartment an hour later. Sighing as she toed off her running shoes, she walked into the kitchen to get a bottle of water and when she turned away from the fridge, Henry was standing right there.

"Jesus, kid, I didn't hear you sneak up on me."

"She's gone."

"Is she?" Emma asked, unscrewing the cap off the bottle and took a few big sips. "Did she say anything before she left?"

"She called you a bitch," Henry replied evenly. "Left a card with a phone number on it for you though, said it's just in case you change your mind." He handed her a small business card, one she barely glanced at before crumpling up and tossing it into the garbage can. "What was going on with you two anyway, Mom?"

"It's complicated. It _was_ complicated."

"Like things between you and Mom?"

"Henry—"

"I'm just trying to understand what's going on with you lately," he said irritably. "You and Mom were getting along so well before the—the accident and you've been acting weird since before that. What is going on, Mom? Why can't you tell me?"

Emma groaned as she leaned against the counter and stared at her angry, frustrated teenage son. Regardless of what she chose to tell him, she knew he wouldn't leave it alone until she told him the truth. "It's complicated, kid, between your mom and I."

"It's always been complicated between you two!"

"More so now than ever before," she muttered and she shook her head lightly. "Your mom and I, we slept together one night and well, things got way more complicated after that."

"That's who you were with when you came home that morning acting weird?" Henry asked. "I can't believe you!"

"Henry—"

"You had _sex_ with Mom?" His voice squeaked loudly and Emma groaned as she tried to hide her embarrassment. "And what about Lily?"

"That's where I messed up," she sighed.

"You had sex with her too? After you were with my mom?"

"I told you, it's complicated right now, kid. I messed up, big style. Your mom found out about Lily and she's pretty pissed at me right now. Before the accident, we were—I don't know what we were, but it was something more than friends, at least it was headed there."

"And you screwed up by having sex with Lily," Henry stated. "Why would you do that?"

"I don't know! People make stupid mistakes all the time and that's all I seem to have been doing ever since—and now I don't know what the hell I'm doing because I'm pretty sure your mom is never going to forgive me for being with Lily."

"Does she love you?" Henry asked and Emma knew exactly who he was talking about. She nodded her head and watched his reaction carefully. "She's in love with you, isn't she? And you screwed up because of what?"

"I'm confused and scared," she admitted. "Your mom and I got a lot of history behind us and not all of it is of the good kind either. I'm scared because I—I have never felt this way about anyone before. Ever."

"Because of who she is and who she used to be?"

"I don't know, kid, I honestly don't know."

"So, you end up having sex with Lily because you're confused and scared about Mom?"

"Shit, this is really screwed up."

Henry scoffed. "What was going on with you two before the accident?"

"I don't know, but there was something happening between us, something new and special. We were going to have dinner that night, just the two of us. I think if the accident never happened that maybe things would be a lot different right now."

"What, you two would be dating or something?"

"I don't even know, kid."

"You know what? I think you do know and you're too much of a coward to admit it!"

"Henry—"

"You're in love with her too, aren't you?" Henry implored and he scoffed again with a subtle shake of his head. "You know she has every right to hate you right now, don't you?"

"I know."

"But you've got to fix it!"

"How?"

"Beats me, I'm just a teenager who knows nothing about love or relationships or how any of that is supposed to work," he sighed loudly and walked up to her and placed his uninjured hand on her shoulder. "I think you start by apologizing and hope to hell that she can forgive you."

"Do you think she will?"

"Maybe, but I'm thinking you don't deserve to be forgiven."

The words stung, especially coming from her son, but she knew he was right. She didn't deserve Regina's forgiveness for the stunt she'd pulled. She didn't deserve Regina to even give her the time of day, especially not after their earlier interaction. When had her life become so screwed up in the first place? Did it start before or after her one-night stand with Regina? She knew she had to figure that out before the rest could fall into place, but in order to do that, she needed to remember the night they'd had together.

And there was only one way to do that, with a memory spell or a potion with similar effects. But with Regina as pissed at her as she was, and Gold's whereabouts unknown, she was out of luck.

[X]

Ruby poured them each the fourth glass of cider and somewhat unsteadily walked back over to sit on the sofa next to Regina in her study. They'd been talking for a few hours and after a strong shot of thirty-year-old scotch, Regina confessed about her feelings when it came to Emma, much to Ruby's surprise. By the third glass, she was muttering about the other woman that was staying with Emma and loosely passing threats of how she would not hold back at throwing a fireball or two her way if she had to see her again.

Regina had expressed her anger towards Emma for pulling such a stubborn, selfish move and for going as far as sleeping with the other woman while they had been at the start of pursuing something together. While she was angry and quite jealous, Ruby had given her pause for thought when she told her that Emma was only acting upon instinct, doing what she was used to doing, hiding behind her walls and choosing what felt like the "safer" option.

"Do you think you could forgive her, Regina?" Ruby asked as she handed Regina her drink. "I know right now you feel like you can't or that she doesn't deserve it, but could you?"

"Perhaps," she replied after a pregnant pause. "Providing she gives me reason to forgive her."

"You love her," Ruby said simply. "Shouldn't that be enough?"

"She had sex with that woman, Ruby."

"But you're not even together," she said pointedly. "I know you were at the start of something, but you know as well as I do just how stubborn Emma can be."

"Not to mention an idiot at the best of times."

"See?" Ruby grinned. "She's an idiot, who you love, who made a real shitty mistake. Give her some time and she'll realize what a mistake she made. This is Emma, Regina, you and I both know that she doesn't always think things through until afterwards. Once she realizes what a stupid mistake she's made she's going to come groveling back to you."

"I'll accept nothing short of her begging for forgiveness while she's on her knees."

"Knelt before the Queen," Ruby chuckled and she raised her glass, the notion not followed by Regina who simply just frowned as she stared into her glass. "So, what are you going to do about this situation, Regina?"

"I am going to step back as I did before," she replied, ignoring Ruby's irritated sigh. "Emma knows how I feel about her and regardless of the situation she's put herself in, it's still her move to make next."

"Nothing is ever cut and dry with you, is it?"

"No, dear, because my life has always been nothing short of complicated," Regina replied with a frown. "Why should things change now, of all times, hmm?"

Ruby's mouth gaped open before she snapped it shut. Regina nodded her head lightly, understanding what Ruby said, the silence now between them speaking volumes. She would forgive Emma, perhaps not easily or soon, but even Ruby knew that day would come no matter how much Emma had truly betrayed her.

Because when it came down to it, love was the more powerful emotion that always won in the end. Betrayal hurt, jealousy stung, and anger flared red-hot beneath her skin, but she just couldn't let go of the feeling of love that rooted deeply in her heart and soul.

Or the fact that her heart still ached for Emma Swan.

[X]

It was later that evening when Emma found herself pacing the living room floor while Henry slept soundly in his room. Just a half an hour prior, she'd received a text from Ruby asking her if they could talk. Emma agreed and told Ruby to meet her at the apartment and there she was waiting for her, not knowing what it was that Ruby wanted to talk to her about that couldn't be done via text or over the phone.

When she received a second text alerting her that Ruby was just downstairs, Emma headed down to let her in, finding her more than just a little intoxicated the moment she swung open the door. Emma hung on to the edge of the heavy door, not allowing Ruby to pass through so that they could head up to her apartment.

"Hey, what gives?"

"Why don't we talk right here," Emma said. "Henry is sleeping and you're not exactly sober."

"You're an idiot," Ruby said with a slight slur to her voice. "You know that, don't you?"

"Ruby, what—"

"I just spent the afternoon with Regina. She's a mess because of you, a broken mess. If she won't fix this, you are going to. Where is she anyway? Where is Lily?"

"Lily is gone. What's it matter to you anyway?"

"Regina told me everything."

"And by everything, you mean—"

"Everything, Em," Ruby replied and she crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "She's in love with you, you do know that right?" When Emma just stood there clutching on to the door with one hand and the frame with the other, not saying a word, Ruby growled lowly. "The pair of you, I swear, you're both infuriatingly stubborn! You're practically perfect for each other!"

"Ruby—"

"No, you listen to me, Emma Swan," Ruby said and she jabbed a pointed finger rather painfully into Emma's shoulder. "We both know Regina isn't going to come to you and fix this when it's your fault she's so broken. You need to figure your shit out and fix things between you two."

"Is this why you came over? To do nothing but lecture me about fixing this mess between Regina and I? God, Ruby, I don't—I can't even figure this out on my own, so how the hell am I supposed to fix this when I can't figure out why I—"

"Do you love her?"

"Ruby—"

"I know you are in love with her, Em, and you are going to lose her if you don't fix this soon. What you just pulled, it was a shitty move and I know that you know that, but this is low even for you," Ruby said, jabbing her once more for good measure. "And that woman, Lily, she better hope to hell she stays away because if I don't stop her from coming between you two, there's no telling what Regina will do to her. There were mentions of fireballs—"

"Stop," Emma sighed as she held up a hand, not wanting to be on the other end of Ruby's drunken rambling. "I know I fucked up, okay! I just—I don't even know how I am going to fix this, how I'm going to get Regina to forgive me. I don't deserve her to forgive me."

"Maybe not, but you're going to fix this," Ruby stated and with a small smile, she pointed to herself. "And I'm going to help you in any way that I can. So, here's what I'm thinking…"


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Notes: While I know many of you are frustrated with the way I've written Emma, trust me when I tell you that ****_nothing is as it seems_**** in this fic. On that note...I'll post a sporadic burst of updates over the next couple of days because I'll be moving next week and I have no idea when my internet here is going to be shut off and when I'll have internet in my new place...**

* * *

Ruby's plan might've worked if it was with anyone else other than Regina Mills. A simple, sincere apology wasn't going to sway the former Evil Queen, that much Ruby had warned her and something that Emma already knew herself. Regina was broken because of her, because she had allowed Lily into her bed without thinking twice about it. Regina was broken because she could not get over the confusion and her own irrational fear when it came not just to relationships, but to being in one with _her_.

Ruby's plan might've worked if it hadn't sounded so irrational. Flowers and getting on her knees, groveling as she begged for forgiveness was not something she did, not ever, and it was definitely not something she was planning to do either even if it did work.

Ruby's plan might've worked if she'd waited until Regina was sober, but instead she'd knelt down on both knees on her front porch in the middle of the night with a single red rose and begging for her forgiveness, and she ended up with the door being slammed shut in her face, hard.

Emma placed the single red rose on the front porch just in front of the door back frowned as she backed away and shoved her hands into her jacket pockets. The walk back to her place would give her some time to shake it off, to think, to let her mind wander and her heart ache endlessly. She barely made it past the front gate before her phone beeped once and she slid it out of her pocket to read the text she'd just received.

**_An E for effort at your poorly executed attempt at groveling for my forgiveness. Perhaps next time you'll chose not to attempt such a feeble effort in gaining my forgiveness in the middle of the night, Swan._**

Emma sighed and slid her phone back into her pocket, opening up the gate before stepping out onto the sidewalk. Emma swallowed thickly as she shut the gate behind her, stealing one last glance up at the mostly dark house before heading on her way home.

Nothing was ever easy in her life and she'd long since accepted that, but recently it felt like everything had back-peddled on her and no matter what she did, every choice, poor and otherwise, set her back even further so. It made the knot in the back of her neck tighten more so than before and she rubbed at it idly as she strolled down the street.

During her times of living in big cities, where the city never slept, Storybrooke in the middle of the night was too quiet, too still, all in a way that made her far more restless. Not even the odd car passed by, no late night walker's on the streets other than herself, and not even the Lost Boys were hanging out in the alley beside the Rabbit Hole as they did most nights.

She let herself in the main door to the building and climbed up the stairs slowly. The neighbor's black cat sat on the step just before the landing and she reached down to pet it, realizing she didn't even know the cat's name. He was friendly enough and purred as she stood and walked to her door. She fumbled with her keys as the cat weaved its slender body around her ankles, purring and meowing as he rubbed up against her, clearly wanting the attention and affection.

Emma chuckled softly, bending down to pet the lonely black cat once again. She stroked the back of his neck and down his slender body as he arched into her touch. "You know, boy, your human shouldn't have left you locked out again. Does she ever let you inside?"

Stark green eyes stared up at her before the cat meowed again. Emma urged it away from her door with a gentle shove towards the neighbor's door and she slipped inside her apartment, watching the cat watch her just before she quickly shut the door.

The apartment was quiet, as expected, and she dropped her keys on the table near the door and pulled her phone out from her jacket pocket. She read over Regina's last text once more, debating whether or not to reply. What was she even going to say? She'd done exactly what Ruby had told her, tried to apologize by doing the one thing she never thought she'd do, kneel before the former Queen and grovel for forgiveness. She shook her head at how ridiculous it had been and what a sight it must've been for Regina to see her on her front porch and on her knees.

"Idiot," Emma muttered under her breath as she deleted the text and slipped off her jacket. She draped it over the back of the couch.

Emma walked into the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of rum off the top of the refrigerator, unscrewed the cap and took a swig. She exhaled sharply and slammed the bottle down on the counter as she hung her head low. Tears burned in her eyes, from the alcohol and from the guilt that was shredding her apart inside. She inhaled deeply before screwing the cap back on and placing the bottle back on top of the refrigerator.

She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed as she glanced at the clock. It was nearly two in the morning. What the hell had she been thinking going to Regina's house in the middle of the night? Laughing at herself, she walked out of the kitchen and noticed Henry's door was open. And that's when she heard it, the gasping.

Henry had had many nightmares before, waking himself up normally, but that very sound she heard, although familiar, it was different. Alarming.

Emma pushed open his door and saw him on the floor, struggling, grasping at his chest with his left hand. His eyes were open wide, his mouth gaping open and shut rapidly as he struggled to take a breath. It felt like minutes, but it was seconds before Emma rushed to his side in a panic, grabbing on to his body and pulling him into her lap.

"Henry?"

"M—mo—om."

"Henry, what's wrong?" Emma asked quickly as she held on to him, rubbing his back, unsure as to why he couldn't take a breath. "Henry, breathe."

Henry shook his head jerkily, his hand still grasping at his sweat-soaked t-shirt. In the dim light that poured in front the hallway, she could see how pale his skin was and the fact that he was covered in a thick sheen of sweat sent her into another rush of panic.

Something was wrong. Something was seriously wrong with her son.

With every struggled breath, his symptoms worsened and she could feel his rapid, irregular heartbeat as she held on to him tightly. He needed immediate medical attention and Emma cursed at herself for not having learned and perfected the transport spell. Her phone was in the other room and she did not want to leave his side, not when he was in distress. Her eyes scanned over to where his own cell phone sat on his dresser, charging.

Emma shifted on the floor, pulling Henry with her until she could reach for his phone. It fell to the floor and she struggled to pick it up in a rush, swiping at the screen and struggling with his passcode.

"Henry?" Emma asked, her voice sounding distant as her son went limp suddenly in her arms. "No," she murmured and shook him gently. "Henry?"

The phone slipped out of her fingers again and the screen shattered upon the swift impact against the floor. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she gently placed her unmoving, unresponsive son gently on the floor and she struggled to get to her feet. She crawled until she reached the door and pulled herself up, her legs unsteady as she rushed out into the living room and grabbed her phone out of her jacket pocket.

Emma blinked through her tears as she thought about who to call first, an ambulance or Regina. It would take an ambulance at least five minutes to arrive, if not longer depending on who was on call that night. Regina would be able to transport herself to the apartment and then transport Henry directly to the hospital in less than a minute.

She dialed Regina's number quickly, her chest tightening as she gripped on to the back of the couch. The line rang and rang until the voice mail picked up. Swearing under her breath, she called her again and walked on unsteady legs back to Henry's bedroom.

"Swan, you just don't give up, do you? Don't call me again."

"Regina—"

Emma let out a frustrated cry when Regina hung up on her. She called her again, her eyes spilling over with tears as she looked down at Henry's unmoving body on the floor. Like the first phone call, it went straight to her voice mail and instead of hanging up, she inhaled shakily.

"Something is wrong with Henry. He's not—Regina I need you to come here and take him to the hospital. It's bad. He's not—he's not breathing."

Emma hung up and dialed 911, growling in frustration when nobody picked up after more than two-dozen rings. She tossed her phone onto his bed and knelt down next to his body, her fingers reaching out to check for his pulse on his neck. She couldn't feel anything and she shook her hand and placed her fingers over his pulse point once more.

Instinct suddenly kicked in and she repositioned him and tilted his chin back, leaning in to feel for a breath and finding nothing. She started the compressions, counting under her breath with each one and trying to calm herself down from her panicked state. Panicking was the worst thing she could do right now, especially with her son's life on the line. She gave him two breaths before returning to the compressions.

"Come on, Henry, breathe," she murmured under her breath. "Come on!"

Sweat trickled down her back as she continued giving Henry CPR and she was unsure with how much time had actually passed; time not being a concept that felt real in the moment. She didn't give up, she _couldn't_ give up, and even when the muscled in her arms burned under the pressure and repetitive motion, she didn't give up.

"Henry?" Emma stopped suddenly and placed a hand on his cool, clammy forehead. "Henry, please…"

Emma moved back on her knees and grabbed her phone off the bed where she'd tossed it. Regina had been a bust and so had calling 911. Her hands shook as she called David's cell and held her breath as the line began to ring.

"Emma?" David's sleepy voice sounded after he picked up on the fourth ring.

"It's Henry," she whispered, trembling as she looked at her unresponsive son on the floor a foot away. "He's not breathing."

"Did you—"

"I called. Nobody answered."

"What about Regina?"

"She hung up on me," Emma sighed and she wiped at her brow with the back of her hand.

"How long has it been?"

"I—I don't know, a few minutes."

Emma could hear shuffling over the phone and then the sound of an engine roaring to life. "I'm coming right now. Bring him downstairs, Emma."

"David, I—he's not breathing—"

"Emma, just bring him downstairs, I'm going to be there in less than thirty seconds."

Emma swallowed thickly and hung up the phone before moving to gather her teenage son's body in her arms. He felt far too heavy as she struggled to stand, his limbs limp and his head lolling to the side. She barely made it to the door before David let himself in and took Henry from her arms carefully. She followed David down the stairs and out to the cruiser where they placed Henry down in the back seat.

"What happened?" David asked once they were both seated in the front and he sped away from the building, lights flashing but the siren off. "Emma, what happened?"

"I don't know!" She exclaimed and she turned to look back at Henry. "I was out and when I came home I could hear him gasping in his room. I found him on the floor, struggling to breathe. And then he just stopped."

"And Regina?" David asked and she braced herself as he took a hard right turn towards the hospital. "You called her?"

"She hung up on me."

"I'm sensing that is a long story not to be told now, isn't it?" David asked and he nodded in understanding. "Why did you call her first?"

"Because it'd take too long for the ambulance. She could just transport Henry to the hospital far quicker and—oh god—David, he's—"

"No, it might not be too late," he said, slamming on the breaks just outside the emergency room and seconds later after he blipped the siren, two nurses came running out, pushing a gurney along with them. "He'll be okay, Emma. We're here. The doctors and nurses, they can help him."

Emma felt nauseous as she scrambled to climb out of the cruiser and she watched the nurses, with David's help, place her son on the gurney and rush him inside. Just faintly she could hear the nurses barking out orders as they disappeared inside the emergency room and she shivered, the chill of the night air hitting her exposed skin with a bite that should've stung.

Numbness settled in as she took one step forward and then another. The emergency room doors slid open as she stepped in front of the sensor and the sound of shouting filled her ears, nurses and doctors scrambling as they attended to Henry, orders continuously barked out using medical terms she was not at all familiar with. Just beyond the waiting room, she could see her son and the dozens of nurses and doctors all around him, trying in vain to resuscitate him.

"Emma, don't," David said as he suddenly grabbed her arms. "Let them do their job."

"But he's—"

"I know," David said as he pulled her back slowly. "I know, Emma, I know. I'm going to call your mother. I left without waking her and for all she knows, I'm just responding to an emergency call."

"Okay."

"Try calling Regina again."

"She won't answer."

"Then I'll have your mother call her," David said and he let go of her arms. "Just stay right here."

Emma blinked through the tears that welled in her eyes and watched him as he walked off towards the entrance to call Snow. She looked back over at where they'd had Henry just moments before and no longer could see them from where she stood rooted in the spot just five feet from the door. She wanted to run off to find her son, but he was nearby, she could hear that much from the shouting coming from just out of sight.

"Snow is going to call Regina. She's on her way right now, she might be a little while since she's going to drop Neal off with Ruby."

"Okay."

"Can you tell me why Regina hung up on you?"

"Long story," Emma replied quietly. "But the short story is that she's pissed at me for something I did that hurt her."

"Emma—"

"It's a long story, okay! A long and complicated story that I really don't want to talk about right now, not when my son is—"

_Dead_.

"They will revive him," David said with a surety in his voice that Emma didn't feel herself. "He is going to be fine, sweetheart."

David's strong arms wrapped around her and held her tight. Two nurses in scrubs ran past them and to the curtained area less than fifty feet away. The tears burned in Emma's eyes, but they didn't fall. Didn't or couldn't, she wasn't sure and she just allowed herself to be held in her father's arms as the minutes ticked by excruciatingly slow.

A second set of arms suddenly wrapped around them both and Emma recognized the familiar scent of her mother's shampoo. With a heavy sigh, Emma forced herself out of the embrace and looked directly at her mother.

"Did you call Regina?" She asked and Snow nodded. "And?"

"She never answered her phone. I left her a message."

"God damn it!" Emma growled and she spotted a payphone on the other end of the small waiting room and stormed towards it. She jabbed each number forcefully with her forefinger and lifted the receiver to her ear. The operator asked for her to place a quarter into the slot and she turned around, ready to yell out at one of her parents for one when Snow stood there just a foot away with a quarter on her outstretched hand. "Thanks."

"Emma, what happened?"

Emma inhaled sharply as she turned her back to her mother as the line began to ring and after the sixth ring, Regina picked up. "Don't hang up," Emma said quickly. "Henry is at the hospital. You need to come down here right away, Regina!"

"What happened?"

"Just get here now!" Emma snapped before she slammed the receiver down and turned to face a worried looking Snow. Just as she was about to tell her what had happened, Regina appeared near the entrance in a cloud of purple smoke. "Regina."

"Emma, what happened?" Regina asked as they rushed towards one another. "What happened to Henry? Is he all right?"

"No."

"Emma—"

"He stopped breathing."

"What?" Regina's voice sounded so small as her eyes filled with tears. "He—he stopped breathing?"

"Didn't you fucking check your messages?" Emma snapped at her. "Or are you really that pissed at me that you just didn't care, hmm?"

"Emma—"

"Our son was struggling to breathe and then he just stopped! He _died_ in my arms, Regina."

Regina stumbled forward and Emma barely managed to catch her in her arms. Together they fell to the floor on their knees with Emma holding Regina close to her. Regina clutched at the back of her shirt, her tears falling freely on to Emma's shoulder and she forced herself to lean back as she looked at Regina closely.

Emma could clearly smell the alcohol on Regina, but she could tell just from the look in her eyes that she was no longer feeling the full effects of it as she had been earlier. Their current situation seemed to have sobered her right up.

"Is he—"

"I don't know," Emma trembled. "The doctors, they're—"

"Emma?" Snow said gently as she placed a hand on her shoulder. "Honey, one of the doctors would like to speak with you."

Emma and Regina both turned to look at the doctor standing near David with his hands clasped in front of him and a somber, serious look on his face. Emma pulled herself up to her feet and offered a hand to Regina without thinking twice about it. Their fingers intertwined and they held on tightly as the doctor approached them.

"Sheriff Swan," he nodded at her. "Ms. Mills. I'm your son's first attending doctor, I'm—"

"Is Henry okay? Can we see him?" Regina asked and the doctor subtly shook his head. "Why not?"

"Sheriff, Ms. Mills, I'm so sorry to tell you this—"

"No," Regina whimpered, her grip tightening on Emma's hand.

"We tried every effort to resuscitate your son and unfortunately—"

"Please," Emma whispered. "Please don't tell us our son is dead."

"We were unable to restart his heart. I'm so sorry to tell you that your son—"

"Gods, no," Regina cried out as she turned to Emma and clutched on to her tightly. "Henry!"

"Your son unfortunately did not make it. We were just too late. His heart had been stopped for too long. I'm so sorry for your loss."

Emma struggled to hold Regina up, both of them swaying as they cried hard. Regina continued to call out their son's name and all Emma could do was try to stay strong, to hold herself together when Regina was so clearly falling apart. The crushing weight of the news hit hard and deep. Nothing felt real, not even the feel of Regina in her arms and sobbing against the side of her neck felt real.

Their son was dead.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Notes: I'll admit I'm a bit overwhelmed with the mix of reviews from the last chapter and I feel compelled to make it known now that the first 30 or so odd chapters of this fic was written before 4b aired and I kind of just took things in my own direction. Anyway...onwards with another chapter shall we? Thank you to everyone who reviewed/faved/followed! Much much appreciated! This update is for you guys :)**

* * *

Grief was something she had never experienced, not on a deeply personal level. Four hours after the news came in and the sun had risen, Emma found herself holding on to Regina as they lay together in Regina's bed. Her parents had told them both to go home and that they would deal with things at the hospital for them.

Regina hadn't even asked Emma to come home with her, she just transported them from the hospital to her bedroom and they immediately crawled into her bed together. Regina had been reluctant to let go of Emma ever since they heard the crushing news and Emma did what she could and kept her arms wrapped around Regina, her hands gently smoothing over her back in a soothing manner.

"Emma?" Regina whispered as she lifted her head from Emma's shoulder slowly. "Emma?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it real?"

Emma's bottom lip trembled as she willed the tears not to start falling again. "I don't want it to be real," she whispered. "It's just a nightmare. We're going to wake up and everything is going to be okay, right?"

"One could only wish."

"There's nothing we can do, is there?"

"Magic can only do so much unfortunately," Regina sighed and she moved to slip out of Emma's arms for the first time in hours. "I'm going to go and make some coffee."

"Okay."

"You can sleep if you can," Regina said heavily and slipped off the bed slowly. "Gods knows I cannot fathom the idea of sleep at the moment."

"I'll get up too," Emma replied. "Sleep isn't happening for me either."

Emma allowed Regina to lead the way downstairs and into the kitchen. Emma's fingers itched to make that dreaded phone call to David, to find out if they'd found out what exactly had happened to Henry. While she didn't want to talk about Henry or even mention his name, the pain still so fresh and so deep it made her feel sick, she had to know what happened to him one way or another. There was just one problem, she'd left her phone at home and she felt awkward about asking Regina to use hers.

Neither spoke as Regina readied the coffee maker and within minutes, the sound of it being brewed was the only sound in the kitchen. Emma fidgeted with the hem of her shirt and frowned at the way her hands shook slightly.

She hadn't cried since Regina had transported them out of the hospital and into her bedroom. She hadn't cried because she could just feel how much Regina needed to feel her strength mentally, emotionally, and physically. While Emma believed that Regina had always been a strong woman, she knew that wasn't entirely true and that she had been broken many times throughout her life. Only this, the loss of their son, was the breaking point, and she was afraid of what would happen once the grief had fully settled in for Regina.

She was afraid because she'd felt those tiny little sparks of magic as she'd laid in bed with her arms around the older woman. Her magic was in control, but now that she was broken, there was no telling what would happen or what she would do if someone even just said the wrong thing to her or even looked at her in a certain way.

They still hadn't said a word since they'd left Regina's bedroom and the silence was heavy and deafening. Emma graciously accepted the coffee Regina made for her with a simple nod of her head and a grateful little smile that quickly fell away from her lips. Smiling felt wrong even if it was meant as a grateful gesture. It _was_ wrong.

She wasn't sure how long Regina wanted or needed her to stay, but she was in the same clothes she'd worn yesterday and she wasn't about to ask Regina to magic her some clean ones either. So instead she just quietly sipped her coffee and tried not to let her thoughts consume her, a process that seemed to be rather repetitive over the last couple of weeks. Had it really only been just shy of three weeks since she'd woken up in Regina's bed that morning? So much had happened in the time since and what she wouldn't give to go back to that very morning and do everything so very differently if she could.

Maybe if she knew what the future had held a few weeks ago she could've stopped that accident from happening and maybe, just maybe their son would still be alive.

Regina sniffed quietly, so quietly that if the kitchen hadn't already been filled with deafening silence, Emma would've missed it. She glanced up at Regina just over her mug of coffee as she took another sip and watched the broken-hearted woman struggle to hold back the tears. Emma placed her mug down on the counter and gently took Regina's out of her hand, placing it on the counter next to her own before gathering her in her arms once again.

"How can you keep yourself so together, Emma?"

"I'm not—"

"But you are," Regina whispered, her voice thick and watery. "You're strong, Emma."

"Someone has to be."

"That someone doesn't always need to be you," Regina said and she tilted her head to the side as she stared into Emma's eyes. "You may be the Savior, Emma, but you don't need to be every moment of every day."

"I'm not," she murmured, feeling the tears sting her eyes. "But if I don't fight to stay strong, I'm going to become broken."

"Then become broken," Regina said with a frown and she placed her hands on Emma's shoulders, letting her hands linger just long enough to give her a tight little squeeze. "We can both be broken together. There is nothing weak about grief."

"I know, I just—"

"Emma, don't hold it in. It's not healthy."

"I'm not holding it in!"

Regina frowned and shook her head slightly. "You haven't cried since we left the hospital."

Emma swallowed thickly. She didn't realize that Regina had noticed that she hadn't cried for hours. Her lower lip trembled as she stared into watery brown eyes. She hadn't cried just because she was trying to stay strong, but because she knew once she started again that she just wouldn't be able to stop.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because I'm worried about you."

"Worried? About me?" Emma shook her head and when Regina reached up to gently cup her face, she leaned into the soft touch. "I am, you know. Broken."

Regina's tears fell as she blinked her eyes and it wasn't until she felt the soft brush of Regina's fingers against her cheeks that she realized a few tears of her own had fallen. She also hadn't realized her arms were still around her until she felt her shift in her embrace, bringing their bodies closer together. It was Regina who leaned forward, closing the small gap between them and lightly pressed their lips together in a lingering kiss.

It felt so wrong despite feeling so right to feel Regina's lips against her own. Wrong because their son was dead, right because she felt that spark flow freely between them even with such a simple, sweet little kiss that lingered only for a moment. Wrong because she'd only just been with someone else, with Lily.

"I can't," Emma whispered, pushing Regina away from her. "I can't do this right now."

"I understand."

"Do you?" Emma felt something inside of her snap. "Because I think that you _don't_ understand. You say you do, but then you kiss me. Again!"

"Emma—"

"Don't."

Emma was shaking as she put some space between herself and Regina. Her emotions were coiled up tightly inside of her and she struggled to keep herself together. But she was on an edge and she could feel her magic inside of her growing instable as the control she had on it started to slip. She could feel the energy of her magic coursing wildly through her body, just under her skin, and it made the blood in her veins feel like liquid fire.

Putting another foot of space between them, Emma's hands shook and she tried to breathe, to relax, to will the power flowing inside of her to fade away instead of build up uncontrollably. She'd been in a familiar situation before when her magic had gone out of control, but this felt different, it even tasted different. Darker. Stronger.

It scared her more than anything, but there was a small part of her that _liked_ the way that it felt, the way that it touched her broken heart and shattered soul. It felt unlike anything she'd ever felt before and the way it tasted was purely intoxicating. She licked over her lips slowly, feeling the magic ripple beneath her skin. It made her skin tingle and the tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she flexed her fingers and felt the shocks crackle with every deep inhale and exhale.

"Emma—"

[X]

Regina watched Emma struggle through every wave of emotion and what she'd seen flicker in her eyes became highly alarming. Gone was the soft look in her green eyes, the black swirls spinning around in her irises, her magic inside of her changing, growing darker. Regina could sense the changes in the air between them. She could see it with her very eyes, but most of all she could simply taste it, recognizing it as if it were her own dark magic resurfacing inside of her.

More than anything, she wanted to reach out, to take Emma's hands in her own, to find a way to calm the storm erupting inside of her, but she held back because she could recognize Emma approaching a dangerous, dark place she knew the other woman had never gone to before and it scared her, it scared her so very much because she knew how unstable Emma's magic could get when her emotions were on edge and out of her own control.

"Emma—"

Regina gasped as she watched her disappear in a mix of white and black smoke, the black not a part of Emma's magic signature and purely alarming. Regina roughly ran her fingers through her hair, not knowing what to do or where Emma had even disappeared to, but she knew she had to do _something_, just what that something was, she wasn't entirely certain of. Emma was even more unstable than she'd ever been, especially with the sudden death of their son. She had felt her own magic start to slip out of control throughout the night, but she had been more experienced in dealing with her magic than Emma was and when she felt herself slipping, she could retain it long enough just to get herself back under control.

Emma didn't have that luxury. She didn't have the training or the control over her magic. There was absolutely no telling what would happen if what little control she did have slipped away completely.

Magic worked differently there and even after years of using her magic, there was still so much of it that felt unfamiliar. In her home realm, she could follow the trace of Emma's magic to find her wherever she had transported herself, but there it wasn't that easy. It was downright impossible. She began to pace in the kitchen, pausing only to glance at Emma's coffee mug, the hot liquid still steaming slightly.

Regina wondered if kissing her in such a fragile state had triggered the emotions she'd seen her go through as the dark magic took its hold on her. She silently cursed herself for pulling such a move, especially when they were both suffering the loss of their only son. They were both broken and she did not know what had possessed her to kiss her when she did, but she had felt an unseen force push her forward and she had felt the desire for the blonde pouring from every inch of her in that very moment. They were both broken and Regina had taken advantage of Emma's vulnerable state like a fool.

"Gods!" Regina screamed into the otherwise quiet of her home, a pulsating wave of magic exploding from her entire body, rattling the cupboards and shattering both coffee mugs, the hot liquid pooling on the countertop before trickling off the side and dripping on to the floor.

If Emma's light magic had indeed turned dark in the wake of recent tragedy, there was only one person in the entire world who could understand her and she had played the poor, broken woman like the fool she was, allowing her deep and underlying feelings get in the way once again.

With shaking hands, Regina grabbed the tea towel off the counter and proceeded to wipe up the hot coffee off the counter and the floor, her eyes clouding over with tears as she fell to her knees and braced her hands on the floor on top of the now soaked tea towel and tried to breathe steadily.

She felt responsible, in a big way, at Emma's sudden downward spiral into the darkness she herself knew all too well. It was a lonely place, especially when there was no one around that could even remotely understand what she was going through and the way that it made her very soul feel. It was a weight that felt as suffocating as it felt powerful and it felt inescapable especially when one did not understand what was flowing just beneath the surface of their skin and in their very veins.

They had needed each other in the wake of their son's sudden death and they needed each other now, but more than anything, Emma needed _her_ and she had absolutely no idea how to reach out to Emma.

All she could do was wait and hope that she'd resurface sooner rather than later. For her very own safety and not just for the others that were around her as well.

[X]

Emma sat on the fallen tree with her elbows resting on her knees, her hands shaking as black and white shocks of magic escaped with every breath she took. Her head hung low, her hair falling over her face, strands sticking to the back of her neck as small beads of sweat rolled down her skin despite the chill in the late October air.

She couldn't understand what was happening to her nor did she know _what_ was happening to her. All she knew was she could feel that power taking deep root in her heart and soul and that the taste of it was intoxicating and absolutely terrifying.

The last thing she had seen was Regina fearfully looking at her, about to reach out as she said her name and she just disappeared from the other woman's kitchen without a second thought and ended up in the middle of the forest not far from the town line. She knew that much from the red X's spray-painted on a line of trees barely fifty feet where she'd reappeared. She paced by the town line for almost an hour, wondering if it'd just be better if she crossed the line and never turned back. At least on the other side, her magic would cease to exist and she'd protect not just herself but others too.

While she couldn't fully understand what was happening, deep down she knew that what she was going through was dangerous and laced with dark magic. She recognized that lingering taste from the few times she'd been in the presence of dark magic, and as intoxicating and as terrifying as it was, she was at loss as to how she would control it within herself. How could she control something that she'd never had inside of her when she couldn't even control the magic she'd already had?

Emma sat back on the fallen tree, turned her face up to the sky, and let out a feral scream. She felt a painful burst of magic flow out of her, the force of it so strong that two smaller trees to her right snapped and cracked clean in half, the crashing sound thunderous as they hit the forest floor hard.

She jumped to her feet and started running, not away from the town line and not over it, but alongside it and in the opposite direction of town. There was no path and she dodged trees, bushes, and roots as her eyes filled with hot, angry tears. She ran until her lungs burned and her legs nearly gave out on her and she collapsed on to her hands and knees, tears spilling from her eyes as she gripped at the dirt on the ground tightly.

She had lost her son, suddenly and unexpectedly, and now she was on the brink of losing herself. She had tried to be strong, for both herself and for Regina, but that kiss, that _goddamn_ kiss had caused her to snap under the building pressure and weight she was suddenly trapped under.

A small, almost silent snap of a twig nearby had her head shooting up, paranoid eyes darting around the dense trees as she slowly rose to her feet. She wiped her dirt covered palms on her jeans, moving slowly and quietly in the direction of the small sound and a quick movement caught her eye just beyond a line of bushes almost a hundred feet ahead of her. It was so quick it could've been anything, even just a shadow of something else, but her curiosity was piqued when she heard the unmistakable sound of soft, unintelligible muttering the closer she got to the line of bushes.

"Darkness takes over, grief takes flight, the pretty swan falls from the light."

Emma would recognize that voice anywhere, especially with the maniacal laughter that followed the phrase as it was spoken over and over again. She found a small opening in the bushes and slipped through, not all the way as her eyes landed on the man pacing a small opening mere feet in front of her

"Gold," she said under her breath, watching as he pulled at his now just below shoulder-length grey hair, his clothes dirty and tattered, his feet without shoes.

She watched him pause in his pacing and sniff loudly before tittering as he clasped his hands together and spun around to look her straight in the eye.

"The pretty swan falls from the light," he drawled, snickering as he strolled over to where she stood, rooted to the spot. "Falls from the light and into the darkness. Tell me, dearie, how does it taste?"

[X]

Regina was jolted from her daze by the doorbell ringing, over and over again. The more it continued to ring, the more her anger boiled inside of her and she stormed to the front door, the sound of her heels against the marble tile echoing through the foyer loudly. She unlocked the door and flung it open with a soft growl and narrowed, dangerous eyes.

"Regina?" Snow asked gently. "You all right?"

"What kind of a stupid question is that, Snow White?"

"You called, about an hour ago," she said softly, unmoving from where she stood on the front porch, closer to the steps than the door and just out of reach. "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner."

Regina inhaled sharply, her grip on the edge of the door tight. She had called Snow earlier, knowing if anyone needed to know what Emma was going through, it was her own mother. Regina didn't know what else to do, who else to contact, and Snow had been the first to pop up in her mind. But as the minutes turned into an hour, she'd fallen into a deep hole, the grief swallowing her, drowning her until that was all that she could think of, and all that she could feel.

"Regina?"

"Come inside," Regina said lowly, stepping aside to allow Snow to enter her home. "There is something I need to talk to you about, something you need to be aware of."

Snow nodded, tentatively entering the house and stood awkwardly in the foyer as Regina shut the door slowly behind her. "Is Emma here?"

"No, she is not here, but that is the reason why I called you."

"Regina?" Snow looked nervous and a little scared as she fidgeted with the hem of her ugly blue cardigan she wore under her open coat. "Regina, what's going on?"

"Perhaps we should sit down and talk."

"Regina, tell me," Snow pleaded. "Please tell me what's going on right now. You're making me feel nervous and honestly, a little bit terrified as well. "What is going on and where is Emma?"

"I do not know where Emma is," Regina replied a bit hesitantly. "Please, let's go and sit down and I will tell you—"

"Tell me right now!" Snow said loudly. "Regina just spit it out! What is going on? Is Emma all right? Is she hurt—"

"She's not hurt, but she's not all right either."

"Then what—"

"Her magic is unstable and I'm afraid it's worse than the last time this happened."

"Unstable? What? I thought she had it under control."

"A small semblance of control," Regina corrected. She took a deep breath, glancing down at her own shaking hands for a moment before meeting Snow's eyes with a careful gaze. "It's not her light magic that she is not in control of. It's dark magic."

"Dark magic?"

"If you'll come with me, _please_," Regina asked, enunciating each word sharply, "I will try to explain everything as best as I can."


	15. Chapter 15

Regina watched Snow fidget nervously, her concern for her daughter clearly her main concern at the moment. Regina cleared her throat and sat down on the sofa across from the one that Snow was seated on in her study and crossed one leg over the other.

"Did you say that Emma has dark magic?"

"An element of dark magic, yes."

"But how?" Snow asked and Regina inhaled sharply. "Is it because of…Henry?"

She whispered his name so quietly, a hand flying to her mouth as his name fluttered past her lips. Regina felt the tears stinging in her eyes at hearing her son's name and she exhaled slowly, focusing on her breathing for a moment before she simply nodded her head. Only it wasn't as simple as their son's death that had triggered Emma's downward spiral and allowed her unstable magic to produce dark magic. It was never going to be that simple.

Regina felt an empty void in her heart that had once been filled by Henry, by his love and his very presence in her life. It made the world feel hollow and dim, like the last of the sunlight had been squeezed from the sky like a lemon, the last of it left to rot where it had been haphazardly tossed.

"Something else triggered it too, didn't it?" Snow asked quietly and Regina remained silent, unsure if she should even tell her what had truly happened between her and Emma. "Regina? Do you know what happened?" Snow asked and when she said nothing, Snow shook her head, her frustration showing clearly in her eyes. "Please, tell me."

"It is rather complicated," Regina said after a moment, pursuing her lips before she inhaled sharply and continued, "and I am unsure if I should tell you."

"Did something happen between you two?"

Regina suppressed the urge to laugh. That was a conversation she did not want to be having with the other woman, but it seemed to be one that was inevitable. She idly picked at her pants just over her knee of the leg that was crossed over the other, her thoughts wandering for a moment as she realized how disheveled she must look, still dressed in the clothes she'd worn the day before and lightly slept in while Emma had held her in her arms all night long.

"It's a very trying time," Snow said as she sat forward on the sofa and worried her bottom lip when Regina lifted her eyes to meet her gaze. "Regina, please. Tell me what happened."

"Our relationship has always been nothing short of complicated."

"Ours?"

"My relationship with Emma," Regina said, her voice barely but a whisper. She swallowed thickly, fighting the tears that wanted to fall because of the death of her son, because of the complications that had arisen between her and Emma, because she was in love with the mother of her son and their relationship had fallen apart before it truly even began.

"You—your relationship with Emma?"

"I'll spare you the details I know she would rather you not know, but things had recently begun to change between her and I, change in a sense that has further complicated things."

"Regina?"

Years ago, telling Snow White that she had bedded her own daughter would have been the ultimate betrayal and her own revenge, but it wasn't like that at all anymore. She no longer sought to seek revenge on the woman who had once destroyed her happiness and took away the chance at her spending her life with what she had then thought to be her one true love. Falling in love with the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming felt like she had betrayed herself, but she knew even then that that wasn't true. Falling in love with Emma didn't feel that way.

"Regina?" Snow tried again. "What aren't you telling me?"

"We were talking about our son," she said, the tears spilling free. "We were both emotionally charged and broken in that moment. I—I shouldn't have kissed her."

"Why would you kiss her?"

"Because I care for her, deeply."

"Of course you care for her, you two are friends now and—"

"I love her. I'm in love with her."

"What does this have to do with the fact that Emma is out there somewhere with dark magic flowing inside of her, Regina?" Snow asked, quite clearly missing the fact that Regina had easily admitted to her that she was in love with her daughter. "Did you do this to her?"

"Do what?"

"Give her your dark magic when you kissed her?"

"Why on earth would I do that? Besides, it isn't possible to transfer magic like that, not here in this world and not in our own," Regina replied and she fought the urge to roll her eyes. "As I said, our relationship is complicated, more so as of late. Kissing her was a mistake. It triggered something inside of her that I am unsure of what it is exactly, but I saw it as it happened. It was terrifying and I am so very worried about not only her own safety, but that of others."

"Do you think she'll hurt herself or someone else?"

"There's no telling what will happen if she's out there alone and vulnerable to magic she does not understand nor can control."

Regina wasn't sure if Snow had heard her tell her that she was in love with Emma due to the entire lack of reaction thus far, but a part of her was almost grateful that her admittance to being in love with her daughter had gone unacknowledged by Snow.

"Do you know where she is?"

"Do you think I'd be telling you that she's a risk if I knew where she was?" Regina snapped. "If I knew where she was right now, Snow, I'd be there with her, helping her to control the dark and powerful magic that is raging inside of her. I have absolutely no idea where she went."

Snow ran her fingers through her short hair and sighed loudly as she dropped her hands to her lap once again. "What can we do, Regina?"

"You can put the word out, say what you must, but right now Emma is dangerous and she might not even realize it herself," Regina replied quietly. "All we can do is hope she's somewhere safe."

[X]

Emma watched Gold as he circled around her slowly, his eyes drinking her in as he shimmered his hands around her, squealing in delight. Emma felt like a caged animal, but she couldn't run, too curious as to why he was reacting in such a way to her. Despite it being quite obvious that he had lost his mind, she could feel his own power whenever he got a little too close.

"Tell me," he demanded, stepping up right into her face. "It must taste delicious because it tastes divine to me, dearie."

Emma clenched her jaw tight and flexed her hands into fists, trying in vain to control the magic flowing freely out of the tips of her fingers. She barely flinched when he clapped his hands in front of him and giggled as he turned and danced around before spinning around and setting his hard gaze on her once again.

"Tell me."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

With a flick of his wrist, her hands were forced away from her sides, her palms outstretched. He sneered at her as he hovered his hands over hers, the magic coming out in small, sharp bursts. A mix of black and white electric-like shocks shot out and almost all were black.

"Emma Swan, the Savior, the product of True Love, comes to visit dear old Rumplestiltskin wielding some of the darkest magic even I have ever tasted," he chuckled and he waved his hands again and Emma's hands were free of the invisible hold they'd been in. "However did this happen, dearie?"

"I don't know," she said through clenched teeth. "And I didn't come to visit you. Nobody has even known where you've been all this time."

"Why I've been right here all along," he replied in a matter-of-fact voice and started giggling again. He placed his hands together just under his chin and cocked his head to the side. "Surely there must be a reason you are here, is there not?"

"No."

"Everything happens for a reason," he continued and Emma crossed her arms over her chest and just watched him. "Just as all magic comes with a price. Cast any spells lately, dearie? A new curse perhaps? Or did you finally figure out how to remove the barrier around the town line?"

"Nothing, I've done nothing."

"What about the former Queen?"

"No."

"You're certain?"

"I am," Emma replied with a nod. "She hasn't cast any new spells or a new curse or made the town line disappear."

"Hmm," he mused as he stepped into her personal space once again. "I smell something more than just the dark magic you have been blessed with, Emma. I smell a liar." Gold shook his head when she said nothing and he waved his arms around in a flourish. "I can feel the change in the air. Something happened, something big perhaps. Tell me, did anything happen in town? Something new, something different or something tragic?"

Emma swallowed thickly, feeling her emotions starting to swirl harder and faster inside of her, making it impossible for her to hold any kind of a reaction back. She didn't want to think about the tragic accident and she definitely did not want to think of her son's death either.

"Something tragic," he said through clenched teeth and placed a single finger on his chin as his lips curled into a sadistic little smile. "Death."

"There was an accident."

Emma had no idea why she was telling him anything. She could walk away at any given moment and she could even transport herself far away from there in a blink of an eye if she so wanted to, but something was compelling her to stay there, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. She knew of his past and the role he had in shaping Regina's life just so that he could get what he wanted in the end. She knew how manipulative he could be when there was something that he wanted and she was sure, even though his sanity wasn't intact, there was definitely something that he would want from her in the end.

"An accident?" Gold repeated. "What kind of an accident, dearie?"

Tears flooded Emma's eyes but the anger she felt bubbling inside of her overtook the grief tenfold. "Aren't you supposed to be able to see the future, Gold?"

"Not any longer, no, now tell me, what kind of an accident was there?"

"A bus," she said through gritted teeth, feeling her skin grow hot as the magic inside her swelled. "A bus crossed the town line and hit a group of boys that were out there on their bikes."

"Hmm? Tragic, yes. Were there any deaths?"

"Yes."

"A number, dearie, I'm looking for a number."

Emma swallowed thickly. "Five."

"Wrong number," Gold said flippantly. "There was another, wasn't there?"

"Yes."

"Your son," he said with a frown and for the first time in a very long time, Emma could see some semblance of raw emotion in his eyes. "My grandson."

"How do you know that?"

"I too lost my own son or have you forgotten about Bae already? Too busy traipsing around with that filthy, lying pirate to remember the boy, the man who is the father of your son?"

"I'm not—"

"Not with the pirate?"

"No, I'm not. Not for a long time now."

"Interesting," he chuckled dryly, the sound dying on his lips. "Your son, Henry, was it the tragic accident that was the ultimate demise of his precious, young life?"

"No. I don't know what happened."

"Hmm," he mused and started to pace in front of her slowly. "This bus, it came across the town line, didn't it?" He asked and he held up a hand, halting her from speaking. "It crossed the town line when it shouldn't have been able to and it struck those boys, killing six of them."

"Five."

"_Six_ young lives were taken and for what?" Gold continued, dismissing her correction as if he hadn't heard her say a word. "Do you know how that bus crossed the town line, dearie?"

"No."

"Hmm," he paused for thought and waved a finger in the air suddenly. "There was someone on that bus, someone whom you knew long before you first set foot in this town."

"I thought you said you can't—"

"See the future? No, I cannot, but I can feel the past. It lingers there like a shadow," he said and paused for thought once more. "Someone you knew was on that bus."

"Yeah. There was someone."

"Someone special to you, someone who had a piece of your heart at one point in time," he continued and clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "A past lover, perhaps?"

"Something like that," she replied through clenched teeth. "What does it even matter?"

"What matters is those lives that were taken, struck down by a beast of a machine," he said, his voice booming as he smacked his hands together hard. The action caused her to flinch, but not in a fairly noticeable way. "Someone is responsible for this and someone must pay dearly."

"Someone is paying for this," Emma replied curtly. "The driver of the bus is locked up behind bars at the station and—"

"You're going to charge him with what? Vehicular manslaughter? He'll walk free in less than a year, Emma."

"I know."

"He must pay the ultimate price," he demanded and he stepped into her space and smirked. "And I know just who is going to make him pay that price with his life."

"Who?"

"Why you, of course."

[X]

It was just past midnight when Emma quietly let herself in the back door of the station, quietly wishing that nobody was there aside from the man they had imprisoned just days before. Gold had meticulously walked her through the plan, telling her of every detail she would need to follow through on and even knowing that killing that man who had driven the bus across the town like was wrong, Emma wasn't in control of herself, her thoughts or her actions.

Someone needed to pay for causing not just the town grief, but for she herself as well. Someone was responsible for those boys' deaths and her son's. And someone needed to pay the ultimate price, a life for a life.

Armed with a sleek dagger tucked up the sleeve of her jacket, Emma strolled quietly through the corridor and around to the main part of the station. It was dimly lit by only a single lamp on the desk nearest to the cells that had been left on. The very cells that were very empty.

"What the fu—"

"Hello, Emma."

Emma spun around to face Regina who was seated at _her_ desk in _her_ office. "Regina. Where is he?"

"Where is who, dear?"

"The prisoner!" Emma yelled out, allowing the dagger to slip down into her hand and she pointed to both empty jail cells behind her. "Where is he?"

"Safe from the likes of you," Regina replied calmly and she leaned back in the chair, crossed her legs and despite the desk blocking her view, Emma could see she placed her hands over her knee.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Emma demanded as she strolled into the office and stuck the tip of the dagger into the desk just mere inches away from Regina. "You have no right to be here or even sitting in my goddamn chair just as you had no right to move the prisoner! He's facing charges! He's a murderer! You just can't let him out!"

"I didn't let him out," Regina said as she eyed the dagger stuck in the desk in front of her. "Your father did. It appears it is not only I who fear what you are capable of right now, Emma."

"And what is that?"

"Murder."

Emma scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Murder, Regina? Really? You think I came here to kill him?"

"Didn't you?"

"No," Emma laughed, placing both hands on the desk in front of her as she leaned forward. She stared long and hard at Regina before licking over her lips slowly and seductively. With a smirk, she reached for the dagger and pulled it free. "I only came to scare him. Just a little."

Regina said not a word as Emma dared not to break the intense gaze they were locked in. Emma wasn't letting her guard down and she knew she couldn't, not with Regina. Not with anyone. With a sharp laugh she pushed off the desk and ran the tip of her finger over the edge of the sharp blade, feeling it bite into her skin as she pressed a little harder but not hard enough to make herself bleed. She licked over her lips once more, watching Regina's reaction carefully and when she garnered nothing but a stoic look, she slammed one hand down hard on the desk.

"Where is he?"

"I won't tell you," Regina replied, her façade not broken as she rose from the chair. "I won't because I cannot let you do what I know you came here to do, Emma. I cannot let you succumb to the darkness. This is not who you are. Your heart is pure and it shall remain—"

"Pure?" Emma chortled. "My heart is _pure_? Is that what you're going with? Think that you'll save me with what, promises of keeping my innocence? Maybe something else? Maybe you'll save me with _love_! Is that it, Regina? Is that why you're here and not someone else? Is everyone else afraid of what I am capable of?"

She had been warned that someone might try to stop her and that she had to escape that help at all costs and to eliminate the one who offered help, a "senseless notion" she remembered Gold telling her before he had sent her on her way to exact her revenge on the one responsible for the single worst tragedy Storybrooke had seen in its existence. A price had to be paid. A life for a life, or in this case, a life for six others.

It was up to her to make sure that _someone_ paid for the death of those boys and for the death of her only son.

Much like she had when she'd been with Gold earlier, she could not only feel Regina's magic, but she could taste it as well. Gold's hadn't tasted delicious; his tasted bitter. Foul. Regina's, on the other hand, tasted better than chocolate, better than the best wine she'd ever let touch her lips and tongue. It was intoxicating, arousing, and so very distracting.

Not allowing her gaze to waver, Emma moved around the small and cluttered desk until she stood just mere inches away from Regina. Her lips twitched as she fought the smile and she leaned in, inhaling sharply as she lifted the small dagger and pressed the tip to Regina's left cheek. Her grip was tight as she searched the brown eyes that bore into her own for any semblance of fear, of weakness, and she found none.

"You don't know what I am capable of, aren't you?" Emma drawled, her breath ghosting over Regina's tightly pressed lips. "And you're terrified."

"Of what?"

"Me."


	16. Chapter 16

Regina stood unnerved, carefully keeping herself in check as Emma tried—and failed—to have any effect on her that resembled that of weakness. They both wielded dark magic, Regina more in control of her own than Emma was, yet they both were going through recent grief and that made them both unstable in many different ways. The only difference was the fact that Regina was more in control of the dark magic that flowed through her, having almost a lifetime more of experience in wielding and controlling it than Emma did. Emma was a loose cannon, set to fire at any given moment and without warning.

Her words needed to be chosen carefully and anything she said, if not done so, could set Emma off further down the path of darkness. The tables had turned so very quickly, triggered by what Regina now knew was that kiss they shared earlier, that kiss that should've never happened. Not when they were so very broken and overcome with grief. Not when Emma was already out of control of her own emotions, the rawness of them being her best and worst part of herself.

The tip of the small dagger Emma wielded pressed firm against her cheek, the blade cool to the touch, sharp enough to shred through skin, but the pressure behind it not enough to do just that. Regina remained calm and took a deep, shuddering breath despite her efforts to remain as stoic as possible in that very moment.

"I am afraid," she admitted, her voice but a whisper. "I am afraid for you, Emma."

"For me?" Emma scoffed, the tip of the dagger pressing harder, yet still not hard enough to pierce through skin. "Not of me?"

"Do you want me to be?"

The intoxicating taste of Emma's dark magic was almost too much to handle, but she kept her resolve and fought it with every ounce of her being. This was the woman she had fallen in love with and she was watching her fall apart and spiral down into darkness that did not belong in neither her soul nor her heart.

She could see the darkness swirl in her eyes, their gaze not wavering, their face and lips just inches apart. That light that was so full of life was gone from Emma's eyes, lost and forgotten, and Regina swallowed thickly as she thought of how many times she'd wanted to get lost in those green eyes that showed so much emotion.

Emma stood unmoving and Regina knew that if she didn't put some space between them, that if she didn't stop her, Emma would push the limits of what she truly was capable of. While she had some very strong magic flowing inside of her, Regina knew she was stronger than her in that moment, stronger because she was more in control and knowledgeable of its use. It came all too naturally, the spells she could cast without so much batting an eyelash. Emma didn't have that luxury and she needed to use that to her own advantage.

She focused on the feel of the sharp dagger without breaking the intense gaze and she fought the small little smile that dared slip out as the dagger was magically pulled from Emma's hand and clattered against the far wall of the small office before falling to the floor.

"He told me this might happen."

"Who told you?"

"He told me that _you_ might be the one that would try and stop me."

_Rumplestiltskin_. Regina dared not say his name, but she just knew. She barely had a moment to prepare for what came next and her breath escaped from her hard as she was thrown against the wall behind her, the picture frames on the wall clattering with the force of which Emma had thrown her with magic. She swallowed thickly, watching as Emma waved a hand and the dagger flew through the air and came to rest easily in her palm. With a feral smirk, she gripped it tight and strolled over to Regina.

"We all have a weakness, Regina," Emma said, her hot breath spilling out and over Regina's lips as she pressed the dagger not to her cheek, but to her neck. "Love is yours. Love is weakness."

_Love is strength_, she thought, but dared not utter a word. Emma laughed bitterly as she placed her left hand on her chest, further pushing her against the wall. Regina didn't fight the spell despite how easy she knew it'd be to deflect it. The strength behind it was strong, but she could sense the cracks in the power from the moment Emma had flung her against the wall.

"Where is he?" Emma tried again and upon Regina's silence, she pressed the tip of the cool, sharp dagger a little harder against the skin of her throat. "Tell me where he is, Regina."

"I won't let you kill that man."

"Then I'll kill you since you are of no use to me."

"This isn't who you are, Emma," Regina tried, her voice soft. "I know you and this isn't who you are. You are better than this."

"You know who I am?" Emma laughed bitterly. "No, I don't think that you do."

"I do know you. I know that you love with every ounce of your heart and your soul. I know that you are broken, that your soul feels shattered," she whispered. "Killing that man won't bring those boys back. It won't bring _our son_ back."

She saw something inside of Emma break in that moment, just for a split second, and she tried to hold on to that because she could feel the cracks in her dark magic splitting open wider.

"It is okay to feel broken, Emma. You have every right to feel the way that you do, but you're not the only one who lost Henry last night. Please," she pleaded, her voice shaking as the tears sprang to her eyes despite her best efforts to fight them back. "Please don't do this. Just let me—"

"Let you what?"

_Let me love you_.

"Emma," David said suddenly from behind the raised dart gun as he appeared in the open doorway. "Drop the knife and step away."

"And if I don't?" Emma asked as she glanced over her shoulder at her father. "Is daddy dearest going to shoot with me a little dart?"

"If that's what I have to do," he said firmly, his finger steady on the trigger. "I'm giving you a chance to drop the knife and step away."

Emma laughed as she snapped her attention back to Regina. "This isn't over," she said lowly and she kissed her hard before stepping back and disappearing in a swirl of black smoke just as the trigger was pulled.

The small dart hit Regina in the middle of her right thigh. "Damn it, Charming," she slurred as the effects of the heavy tranquilizer began to hit her hard. "You missed."

The last thing she saw was of him rushing towards her before her eyes rolled in her head and her whole world faded to black.

[X]

She was woken by whispered voices, pulled from the darkness slowly. As she blinked open her eyes, a hand touched her shoulder gently and upon her groggy murmur, the hand disappeared. Her body felt heavy, her right thigh ached where the dart had sunk into her flesh and her head was pounding as a headache settled in. Even though the station was dim, the light still hurt her eyes and she struggled to sit up, but her body had yet to start to cooperate.

"Regina, just lay there for a moment, the effects of the tranquilizer haven't quite worn off."

"David, get her some water."

"What happened?"

"Emma. She's slipped."

Four distinct voices swirled all around her and as her vision cleared, her eyes landed on David first as he held out a bottle of water for her. She grabbed it and with his help, she sat up on the leather couch slowly, feeling rather dizzy and nauseous. She drank the lukewarm water greedily, her lips and throat dry, parched.

"Thank you," she murmured and exhaled sharply, blinking away the bleariness with desperation.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I just got shot with a heavy tranquilizer, how else do you think I'm feeling?" Regina snapped and David smiled tightly. "How long have I been out?"

"Six hours, give or take," he replied. "I'm sorry, you know, for missing. I should've taken the shot before—"

"Before you decided it was a good idea to open that mouth of yours?" Regina asked, her tone bitter. "It's fine," she snapped. "We just lost six hours. Do any of you know where she is?"

Regina looked at the Charming's and then over at Ruby and Tink, the expression on all their faces told her all she needed to know. With a shake of her head, she stood on unsteady feet and slapped away David's hands when he reached out to steady her.

"Don't touch me."

"Regina, the hospital, they called and um, they need either you or Emma to sign the death certificate so that they can um, release—you know, for the funeral," Snow stammered and Regina sighed heavily as she stared at the shorter brunette. "There is going to be one, isn't there?"

"Yes, of course," Regina replied solemnly. "I want to go ahead with his funeral despite the recent complications we're dealing with," she continued and she placed the bottle of water down on the desk closest to her and smooth out her wrinkled blouse. "I'll be arranging for the funeral to take place in two days time."

"What about—"

"Emma?" Regina asked, raising an eyebrow at Snow. "It'll be up to her whether she comes or not."

"You said so yourself, she's dangerous and out of control of dark magic that somehow ended up inside of her. If she shows up, there's no telling just what she may do."

"She came here to kill the bus driver, she held a knife to my throat, there's no telling just what she is capable of right now," Regina sighed and turned to David. "The driver, is he still somewhere safe?"

"We had him moved from your vault to one of the rooms in the hospital basement. We're going to go ahead with the plan to move him to the convent in about an hour," David replied.

It was all a part of the plan they had all devised much earlier that day. It was Regina who went ahead and told the Charming's of her fears when it came to Emma and the state of mind she was now in, voicing her concerns how she could likely come after the bus driver, placing full blame on the man and possibly want to take his life as a form revenge.

Regina had hoped at the time they devised a plan that her fears were wrong, that Emma possibly wouldn't take things that far. She had hoped it wouldn't come to that and in the end that was exactly what had happened. Emma had turned up at the station armed and looking to kill the man she thought to solely be responsible for the death of those boys and their son.

It terrified her that the darkness had gripped Emma so tightly that the transformation in just a short while had been enormous. She had never in all her life seen anyone be gripped by dark magic so quickly as it was a process that was usually carefully mapped out by someone else.

Someone else…

Regina started thinking of the way Emma had spoken to her, the things she'd said and the way she had said them. She cursed herself silently for not thinking of it before. Emma wasn't in complete control of herself and it wasn't solely because of the dark magic that was inside of her, it was because she was under a spell, her actions being carried out by another. Rumplestiltskin.

With a shake of her head, Regina stormed into the office where she'd left her coat and keys and ignored the others as they called out her name, asking her to stop. When David ran after her, she came to a sudden stop, spun on her heels to face him, her face a mask of desperation and determination.

"Regina, where are you going?"

"That is none of your concern," she said defiantly and with a roll of her eyes, she continued, "I am going to deal with this my way since you have shown me that you are of no use to me."

"Regina—"

She left him behind with a swirl of purple smoke, transporting herself out of the building and to where she'd parked her car just down the street. She inhaled deeply as she pulled slid the key into the lock, her mind spinning as she tried to retain a single thought.

Nobody had seen or heard from Gold in a long time, most presumed he had left town or was dead. People had searched for him, just for a peace of mind, but they'd searched the entire town a hundred times over and he was nowhere to be found. Yet, Regina hadn't partaken in the search as she hadn't cared to at the time, but she knew the entire town better than any other and she had no doubt that with a little investigating, she'd be able to find where Gold had been hiding himself all this time.

She knew just where she would start and that was the cabin out in the woods. She'd branch out from there because if she knew him, and she did once upon a time, he was a creature of habit.

It was only a matter of time before she found him. And when she found him, she'd find Emma.

[X]

Emma sat on the log stump and used the branch to poke at the small fire in front of her. It was morning, the soft light just beginning to poke through the trees. When she had returned to the spot after her failed trip to the station and a close call at being captured by her own father and friend, Gold was nowhere to be found and in his place was a small supply of camping equipment and a note, written in elegant cursive, instructing her to stay put until he returned.

He had warned her that they might be ready and waiting for her. He had warned her that it might not be an easy task, but to not lose faith with failure.

The words she and Regina had exchanged swirled around in her mind, and for brief periods of time as she poked at the fire, she allowed them to reach further inside of her than she had before. Somewhere in the dark recesses of her mind, she knew Regina was right. This wasn't who she was, but it was who she had became.

She had been through a lot in her life, but nothing had broken her the way Henry's death did. Add into the fact her very complicated relationship with Regina had become even more complicated as of late, there was no surprise that the darkness she learned lived inside all beings, had been woken from what should have been a never-ending slumber.

Poking at the fire some more, watching the embers rise into the early morning sunlight, Emma sighed loudly, the sounds of the forest waking up the only noise that reached her ears. Her senses seemed heightened after spending a few hours alone in the dark, empty forest, but now that it was light and life all around her was waking, her senses were on over-drive.

A lonely rabbit poked it's furry little head out of a bush just off to her right and she whipped her head to the side and glared at the small animal. It's little nose twitched before it scurried back into the bush and she turned her attention back to the dying fire in front of her.

Two nights, it'd been two nights since she'd slept at all, yet she didn't feel the exhaustion, the fatigue, nor did she feel drained. All she felt was the burning desire to inflict pain on the one she had deemed responsible for that tragedy and for her son's unexpected death. She felt the rage start to boil inside of her, running white hot through her veins as her heart started racing and the magic began to resurface once again.

She barely flinched when Gold appeared on the other side of the fire in a swirl of dark red smoke. He held in his hand a steaming hot cup of what she hoped was coffee and she rose slowly from the stump. He raised a hand, halting her before she could take a single step.

"Take it you didn't do what you set out to do, did you, dearie?"

"He was gone."

"Gone?" Gold's voice raised an octave, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. "What do you mean _gone_?"

"Moved him," she shrugged nonchalantly. "Is that for me?"

"This?" Gold paused to look at the mug in his hand. "It may just be. Tell me what happened."

"You were right," Emma said haltingly. "Someone was waiting for me. _She_ was waiting for me," she sighed and licked over her dry lips. "They tried to shoot me with a tranquilizer."

"They? The Charming's?" Upon Emma's nod, Gold tittered. "Naughty, naughty. Just what are we going to do with those pesky parents of yours, dearie?"

Gold chuckled as he strolled around the small fire pit she'd dug out and came to a stop just a foot and a half in front of her and just out of reach. She could smell the intoxicating aroma of the strong, hot cup of coffee he held in his hand, teasing her in a sense with it.

"They have nothing to do with this."

"Don't they?"

"They don't."

"They're keeping you from the man you seek," Gold said and with a snap of his fingers, she felt her body being released from the magic hold he'd placed her in. He handed her the hot cup of coffee, which she took greedily and sipped at the hot liquid with an unquenchable thirst. "That is unacceptable."

Emma swallowed her last sip hard, cupping her hands around the grey ceramic mug tightly. As pissed as she was to see her father on the other end of a dart gun that was aimed directly at her, she could not harm her own parents, not even in the state of mind she was in at that very moment. They weren't behind the reason she was so broken, they weren't behind the reason her son was dead, and they definitely weren't behind the reason of confusion when it came to her complicated life, love and otherwise.

"I heard a little titter from a birdie or two," Gold said as he clasped his hands together just under his chin. "Your darling, _charming_ father is moving the man you seek."

"Where?"

"The convent of course," he replied with a roll of his eyes. "The fairies will protect the man who deserves to pay for his crime. A life for a life. Several lives, in fact."

Emma sipped her hot, delicious coffee while fighting a multitude of different emotions. With every sip, however, they seemed to lessen and she wasn't about to deny the appreciation she had for the weight of everything to be lifted slowly from her shoulders.

"Still with me, dearie?"

"Yes."

"Good," he tittered gleefully and pointed to the coffee. "Drink up now, dearie, for we have a long and trying day ahead of us."

"Do we?"

"But of course!" Gold laughed and the sound of it should've chilled her to the very core and inside it only served to push her on, to drink from the mug, each sip taken more greedily than the last. "Tell me," he said as he gently took the nearly empty mug from her hands. "This is not over. You do realize that, don't you?"

Momentarily, Emma felt confused before she found herself nodding in agreement. "Of course."

"I have a new task for you to complete, my dearest," Gold grinned as he lifted a hand to grasp her chin roughly. "And you will not fail in this task this time, will you?"

"No, I will not fail."

"No," he grinned as he waved a hand, Emma's vision wavering slightly as she lost the very last of her self-control. "You will not fail. Not this time, Emma Swan."


	17. Chapter 17

Nobody had seen or heard from Emma in two days, Regina's own search for the broken woman a failure and one she gave up on to prepare the funeral for their son. She hadn't wanted to do it alone, but she had been given no choice with the recent turn of events in all of their lives. She had declined help from the Charming's, from Kathryn, even from Ruby. This wasn't something anyone else should help her with other than Emma.

Much to her surprise, late that Monday afternoon, the doorbell rang and she ignored it, hoping whoever it was would just go away. When it sounded again after a few minutes had passed, she grumbled under her breath and placed her pen down on the stack of papers laid out in front of her on her desk in the study. She pinched the bridge of her nose, her exhaustion and broken mental state getting to the better of her and she had just a few things left to finalize before the funeral would take place the next morning.

Regina slammed her hands on her desk when the doorbell rang for a third time. Whoever it was, they were not going away and she stormed out of the study and through the foyer, down the four steps and yanked open the front door, ready to yell at whomever was on the other side of the door, the words dying on her lips the moment she laid her eyes on Emma Swan.

"Hi."

Emma's eyes were softer than they had been during their last encounter, but Regina was weary of her very presence there. Two days without a word of her whereabouts and she suddenly decided to show up that very afternoon? Regina narrowed her eyes at Emma, gripping tight on to the edge of the door and the frame.

"Hi," Regina said just as quietly as Emma had. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize, but I know you won't accept my apology easily," she replied with a small shrug, tears springing into her green eyes. "I also know that you're planning his funeral alone."

"How do you know that?"

"I just came from seeing my mother."

"I see," Regina said and she inhaled sharply, mostly because the presence of the other woman had been unexpected, but also because she wanted to see if she could sense the dark magic that had been inside of her days before. She could taste nothing, just faint hints of it lingering. "How are you feeling, Emma?"

"Better now," she replied and shrugged a little more. "I kind of lost myself for a handful of days."

"You more than just kind of lost yourself, Emma."

"I know," she frowned and ran her fingers through her hair slowly. "Can I come inside?"

Regina stared at her for a moment before casting her eyes to the elderly couple that walked past her front gate. She nodded and let go of the frame to allow Emma to enter her home. If they were going to have a discussion, she'd much rather it be in the privacy of her own home and away from curious eyes and ears of her neighbors.

Emma started to fidget the moment Regina shut the door and with a nod of her head, she motioned for her to follow, leading the way into the kitchen where she turned the coffee maker on and pulled two clean mugs out of the cupboard. Emma sat on the stool at the small island counter and folded her hands in front of her, her fingers twitching as the silence grew heavier between them. Regina stood on the opposite side, keeping distance between them, feeling far too afraid and still too vulnerable to be any closer, just as she knew Emma felt as well.

"Where have you been?" Regina asked, her tone even and careful. "I've been—"

"Worried about me?"

"Yes."

"I had to get away," Emma replied, staring down at her hands as she spoke, avoiding looking Regina in the eye. "I wasn't myself and it scared me feeling that way, feeling so out of control of myself, of my magic, Regina. I'm still scared because I don't know if I am going to lose control again like I did the other day. I don't know how to stop feeling so…so angry."

"You've placed blame on a man who was unaware he was about to cross the town line. You've placed blame on him for our son's death," Regina said and she felt her breath catch in her chest, the deep pain of the loss of their son stabbing her in her broken heart all over again. She inhaled shakily and watched Emma slowly lift her gaze to meet hers. "I understand that you feel the need to place the blame on someone, because yes, someone needs to pay for what has happened and not just to our son, but to those other boys as well."

"I made a mistake. Regina, I—"

"You were not in control of yourself," Regina cut her off and shook her head. "Believe me when I tell you that I know exactly how that feels, to feel that dark magic flowing through you, the sheer intoxicating power of it all. It's not easy to control it, but it's not impossible either. All magic is connected to emotions and when you can control your emotions, controlling the darkness then becomes a little easier to grasp a hold of."

"I know. I—I'm learning."

"With Gold?" Regina asked, raising a questionable eyebrow at the now fidgeting blonde in front of her. "You know there is another way, better options when it comes to dealing with what you are going through right now, Emma. Gold is not a wise choice."

"I never intended to go to him, not on purpose, Regina, despite what you're probably thinking. He has helped me the last couple of days in ways that I never thought he could."

"And you trust him?" Regina inquired. "You trust that imp?"

"I—"

"You are a fool if you do."

"I don't trust him any more than I trust myself when I am with you."

"What does that mean?"

Emma sighed heavily, casting her eyes down to her fidgeting hands before lifting them to meet Regina's gaze once again. "You make me feel so many things when I am with you, things I can't even begin to understand. I want to figure this out, I do, but now is not the time for that, not when our son is dead."

Regina clenched her jaw, watching Emma carefully as she continued to fidget, her eyes suddenly darting away from the gaze they were locked in with her own. She turned and wiped her tears, pouring them each a cup of coffee and as she kept her back to the other woman, she allowed just a few more tears to fall before she swallowed hard and forced herself to push her lingering emotions aside for the time being, something she had always been so good at doing without much of an effort needed.

It had been just the day before that she got a call from the hospital, explaining to her the cause of their son's death. Pulmonary embolism, while rare in children and teenagers, was the sole cause of his sudden death. Once she was explained of the prognosis and how, if he maybe had gotten to the hospital quicker, that they might have been able to save him. She had tried to not feel guilty for ignoring Emma's phone calls that night, knowing that if she had just bit back the bitterness and the betrayal that Emma had made her feel just for one damn minute, that maybe their son would've still been alive and they wouldn't be in the predicament they were in now.

That maybe neither would be so broken that they were struggling, together and alone.

That maybe Emma wouldn't have snapped after she'd kissed her and that maybe she wouldn't have been vulnerable enough for her own magic to turn dark inside of her in an instant.

Regina turned with both mugs firmly gripped in both hands and placed one in front of Emma slowly, the sound of the mug being settled against the granite countertop pulling Emma from the thoughts she too had seemingly lost herself in. She knew that Emma had no idea the sole cause of Henry's death and she was now unsure of how to bring it up with her, too afraid that if they started to talk about him, about that night, that something inside of the other woman would snap again and this time she might not be able to come back from it.

"I've made a lot of mistakes lately, haven't I?" Emma asked and wrapped her hands around the hot mug of coffee, her eyes not meeting Regina's as she spoke. "I screwed everything up between us. I lost myself completely for so many different reasons, and I—I should've been here with you, Regina. I shouldn't have let myself lose control so easily, but it just—it happened and I—"

"We cannot always be in control of ourselves and our emotions, not during some of the darkest of times, Emma."

"But we should've be there for each other. I should've been there for you."

"I suppose so, yes."

"I've been such an idiot."

Regina was silent, watching Emma as she berated herself. While she was more than readily inclined to agree with her, she kept her thoughts and words to herself. They were both still in a very fragile state of mind, Emma more so than herself.

She did not trust Gold and to know that Emma had been turning to him to learn how to control the darkness inside of her did not sit well with her at all. There was so much more to it. She knew that Gold was behind motivating the vulnerable, broken woman to want to kill the man who had driven that bus, blaming him not only for the death of five boys, but of their son as well.

"When is it?" Emma asked, pulling Regina from her thoughts. "The funeral?"

"Tomorrow. I have a few small little details to take care of before then."

"Is there anything I can do, anything that you need me to do?"

"Just make sure that you're there."

[X]

Regina woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee the very next morning and upon a groggy glance at the clock, she saw it was barely past six. It took her a little while to get herself up and out of bed, showered and dressed and ready for the long, trying and emotionally draining day she had ahead. She was not ready for this day, just as no parent ever is when it came to burying their child. No parent should ever have to bury their child, as it should always be the other way around.

It was no surprise for her to find the Charming's in her kitchen by the time she had finally made it downstairs. The house was silent save for the sound of young Neal coloring at the table, the sound of the crayon scratching against the paper seeming far too loud for something so minimal. Snow handed her a cup of coffee already made for her and she nodded a silent thanks as she took it from her outstretched hand and lifted the mug to her lips slowly and sipped.

"Emma let us in earlier," Snow supplied an answer to Regina's unspoken question. "She said that you wouldn't mind the company this morning."

"And where is she now?"

Snow looked over at her husband and they both shrugged, neither knowing the answer. "She only said that she would be back shortly and she just left," she said with a frown. "Regina?"

"Hmm?"

"Is she okay?" Snow asked and Regina just stared down into her coffee, wondering the very same thing herself. "I've been worried about her. I know we've all been worried about her. Did she tell you where she's been for the last couple of days?"

"No, she didn't tell me much at all."

The last thing she wanted to do was to tell Snow that Emma had been with Gold. Things were already complicated enough as it was and Snow would only just meddle and make matters far worse than they already were if she only knew what her own daughter had been up to in the last couple of days. It wasn't her place to tell her more than she already had in the first place. If things with Gold were more concerning, she would without a doubt tell Snow, but even with her suspicions that there was more to things between Emma and Gold, that was all it was. Suspicion.

It felt different, awkward even, to have the Charming's in her house, to see young Neal so quiet when he normally would be running around the house, chasing Henry down as their laughter sounded throughout. Her breath hitched in her chest at the very few memories of that happening as it wasn't often she had the Charming's willingly at her house.

Regina blinked through watery eyes as David placed a strong yet gentle hand on her shoulder. Her hands shook as she placed her mug down on the counter and quickly wiped at the tears as they fell despite her very best efforts to keep them inside. She was never comfortable in showing any sign of emotion; especially those that made her appear to be vulnerable and weak.

"Is there anything you need us to do this morning?" David asked and Regina shook her head no.

"Everything has been taken care of."

"You know you didn't have to do this alone, we could've—"

"I know," she snapped and reeled away from his hand. "I know," she said as she exhaled sharply and shook her head. "I should finish getting ready. We—we're expected at the cemetery at the top of the hour."

"Would you like to come with us?" David asked. "I'm sure you're not in the right state of mind to be driving alone."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not, Regina," David frowned. "Please, come with us."

Regina let out a dejected sigh. Unfortunately, he was right. She wasn't fine and she was not in the right state of mind to be driving alone to the cemetery, not when she would be burying her son in less than two hours time. As she wiped away at her tears once more, she just nodded her head slowly, accepting the offer wordlessly.

[X]

November the first would be a day that would forever be remembered as the day she laid her son to eternal rest. The sky above was cloudy, the air cold, the breeze strong with a chill in it that barely touched the numbness that she felt through her entire body. Unlike the other boys who had been involved in the tragedy, almost the entire town had shown up to pay their respects and say goodbye to Henry Mills.

Regina could barely bear to look at any others, her eyes trained solely on her son's casket; deep, dark mahogany with gold fixtures and handles. His name was engraved with care on top and his beloved storybook lay on top alongside dozens upon dozens of red roses that had been placed there by others.

Regina glanced down when she felt the hand slip into her gloved one and glanced up beside her to stare at Emma who stood next to her and intertwined their fingers with ease. She caught sight of the tearful emotion in her eyes, eyes that looked around at everyone else but at her. Emma just gave her hand a small little squeeze as the crowd that had gathered grew silent, their hushed conversations coming to a sudden stop as David stepped forward.

Each one that paid their respects to Henry, paused for a moment or two at his casket, some showing more emotion than others, some whispering words that didn't quite reach Regina's ears but still made the tears continue to fall. Regina squeezed on to Emma's hand tighter as the dwarves gathered around the casket together, some crying, some holding themselves together, but at the sight of Leroy and the blubbering mess that he was, Regina felt the lump rise in her throat and more of her own tears began to fall harder and steadier so.

She and Emma were the last, both walking towards the casket together, each step harder to take the closer they got. Emma didn't let go of her hand once and instead she held on to her tighter, anchoring her in a sense and very much in the way she had the night of their son's death.

Even as broken as she was, Emma had been their strength before she had all but lost the will to keep a strong hold of that strength they both needed to hold on to. It was Emma who turned to her first and just for a moment, everything slipped away and all Regina could see was _her_, the woman she'd fallen in love with, staring at her with broken emotion and a shattered soul, reaching out to her for the strength they both had lost and needed in that moment.

She would not show weakness in front of more than half the town, but in that moment she couldn't stop herself, she couldn't keep herself together and almost as if Emma sensed it, she quickly wrapped her arms around her and allowed Regina to conceal her emotions as she buried her face into the crook of the other woman's neck and allowed for her tears to fall freely.

It felt like a dream as Emma led her back to where they'd been standing before, watching the casket that held their son's body being lowered into the ground slowly. Not once did Emma's arms fall away from holding her close and the warmth from Emma's body was the only thing that penetrated the eternal numbness that she'd fallen into. Her attention was not on that of those who had stepped forward to speak, to share memories of their son and to offer words of strength to Henry's two mothers, but on that of her own thoughts that swirled through her mind.

They would never see their son experience all the rest of firsts in his young life. They would never see him grow into being the man he'd been well on the path of being. They would never get to watch him fall in love for the first time or bring home that girl to meet them. They would never get to see him graduate high school and begin the rest of his life. There was just so much they would never know, never experience as his mothers and that was a tragedy within itself.

She clutched tightly on to Emma, not wanting to let go just yet, but as each of those closest to Henry tossed a shovelful of dirt into the open grave, they had no choice but to let go of one another, Emma letting go first to walk over to the small pile to take the shovel from her father before she tearfully tossed a shovelful into their son's open grave. She waited, her eyes locked with Regina's, for her to walk over and take the shovel from her and Regina did not miss the shock she felt when their gloved fingers touched as Emma passed the shovel to her.

She hadn't heard what the others had spoken when they had said their final goodbye, not even Emma's, and she had thought of what she was going to say over the last two days, but now that the time was there, the words fell silent on her lips.

Regina gripped the handle tightly, her eyes filling completely with tears that spilled over as she swallowed thickly and tossed the shovelful of dirt into her son's open grave. A steady hand on the small of her back grounded her and she didn't have to look to see that it was Emma. She inhaled slowly, sharply, and allowed Emma to take the shovel from her shaking hands.

"I love you, Henry," she murmured through the tears that would not stop falling, tears she could no longer conceal. "I will always love you, my little prince."

She refused to say goodbye as she felt it was final. She knew it was a sense of closure, but like most of those who had been a big part of Henry's life, she was not quite ready to say goodbye for good just yet. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be ready for that, to let go, to move on.

Emma wrapped her arms around her once more as the crowd began to dissipate all around them. The gesture seemed far more intimate that what she knew was intended, but she reveled in the feel of Emma's strong, warm arms around her. It was only then that she noticed the other woman in the dispersing crowd, lingering behind, her eyes trained solely on Emma as if she were waiting for Emma to notice her very presence there. Regina felt that all too familiar bite of jealousy sink in and she clutched on to the blonde tightly as she tore her eyes away from the infuriating other woman to look into Emma's green eyes.

"Can you come back to the house?" Regina asked her quietly. "I—I don't think that I can stand another night alone right now."

"Sure, if you want."

"I do," Regina nodded. "I just—I don't want to be alone."

"I understand," Emma said with a small, sad smile. "Do you want to—"

"Emma?" Lily said as she approached them and Regina had to bite her bottom lip to keep from cursing the infuriating woman and her horrible timing. "Emma, Regina, I just wanted to give my condolences to you both and tell you how very sorry I am for your loss."

"Thank you," Emma said, her arms falling away from Regina in an instant. "Are you—do you want to come to the diner? We're having a wake and there is going to be more than enough food."

"I would love to, but I wouldn't want to impose."

"No, no you won't impose," Emma said quickly. "Regina and I were about to walk over there. Do you want to join us?"

Regina cursed under her breath as Lily nodded all too eagerly. She wanted to ask Emma what the hell she was thinking of inviting that woman to their son's wake, a private affair despite his funeral having been attended by more than half of the town. She wrapped her arms around herself, watching as Emma stole ahead and chatted quietly with Lily as they walked down the gravel pathway to the entrance of the small cemetery.

The end of a very trying day was far from over yet and Regina knew there would be more than a few more emotional obstacles to get through before the day was done.


	18. Chapter 18

Regina sat alone at a table with a hot cup of tea in front of her that was untouched and cooling quickly. The diner had been full of those who considered themselves the nearest and dearest to Henry and while that may have been true, Regina wasn't that close to any of them aside from the Charming's, Emma, and Kathryn.

After an hour, some of the people started to leave, stopping to give condolences to Emma and Regina on their way out. Regina still sat alone, her fingers trailing idly over the top of the cup of untouched tea in front of her. She fought the urge to roll her eyes when Snow came over to the table and sat across from her while wrestling with an anxious two year old in her lap.

"Neal, please, can you just sit still for a few minutes?" Snow pleaded with her son who stubbornly pouted and shook his head while squirming to get out of her hold. "Neal."

"No."

"Let him go, Snow," Regina said tiredly. "What kind of trouble can he possibly get into?"

"You have no idea," she groaned and gave in, letting go of the toddler who ran right over to where Emma sat with Lily and Ruby. "How—"

"If you ask me how I am holding up one more time, I swear to you that you will regret it."

"I'm sorry," Snow frowned. "I'm just concerned about your well-being. It's been a rough day for all of us, Regina, and I cannot imagine what you are going through right now. As a mother, I could not imagine having to go through any of this. Especially alone," Snow said and she stammered as she shook her head. "Not that you are going through this alone! You have all of us and Emma too."

At the mention of Emma, her gaze wandered over the small crowd still gathered in the diner to where Emma was sitting with Lily and Ruby. The three were engaged in what looked like a very intense and serious conversation and when Lily whispered something into Emma's ear, she said something quietly to Ruby that had the other brunette rising from the chair and leaving the two sitting alone at the table.

Regina clenched her jaw tightly, tearing her eyes off of the two sitting on the other side of the diner, the soft touches the other woman gave to Emma bordering on intimate and causing Regina to feel a pang of jealousy surge through her. She picked up her tea and sipped, not bothering to grimace at the coldness of it or the fact that it had far too much milk for her liking.

The feelings she had for Emma were clearly not reciprocated and she had to learn not to let that very fact bother her. They were all going through a very traumatic and emotional time, and pushing her feelings on Emma was the very last thing that she needed to be doing. That much was evident after what happened when they'd kissed days before, the kiss she knew for certain had caused something inside of Emma to snap.

Her eyes drifted back over to Emma's table and she watched as young Neal tugged at Emma's hand, forcing her to get out of her chair. He dragged her across the diner and came to a stop in front of the table that David was seated at and in the middle of a conversation with several of the dwarves. David scooped Neal up and into his lap, covering the toddler in kisses as Emma looked on with a small, sad smile on her face.

Regina sipped her cold tea, her eyes not wavering from Emma for a moment. She couldn't seem to stop staring at the blonde woman, watching her as she interacted with her father and the dwarves, laughing softly when Neal said something that had the whole table lighting up with laughter, laughter that felt so foreign considering why they were all gathered there. Regina turned her attention back to her cold cup of tea just before Emma turned to look over at her.

Regina drank the last of her cold tea and tried to steady her shaking hand as she placed the cup down on the table in front of her. She felt the skin on the back of her neck prickle, a familiar warmth flooding through her body out of nowhere. She relished in the feeling for a moment, holding on to it because anything was better than the constant state of numbness her body had been in since the night Henry had suddenly died.

"I think I am going to go," Regina said quietly and Snow nodded. "Could you—"

"I'll wrap things up here for you," Snow replied and she reached out and took both of Regina's hands in her own. "If there is anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask, okay?"

"Thank you."

Regina rose from her chair and picked up her black wool jacket she'd draped around the back. She slipped it on and exhaled, her breath shaky as the warmth that flooded through her body moments ago returned once again. As she cinched her belt around her waist to keep her wool coat wrapped around her, she felt the gentle yet firm hand come to rest on the small of her back.

"Are you leaving?"

"Yes," she replied as she turned to face Emma. "Are you ready to go as well?"

Emma nodded, her hand falling away from her back. She walked over to the table where Lily still sat and after a few whispered words were exchanged between them, she grabbed her red leather jacket and slipped it on. She approached Regina and held out her arm, Regina instantly slipping her arm through hers and allowed to be led out of the diner, but not without saying goodbye to a handful of people on their way out.

Despite it being windy, dreary and cold, they walked down Main Street in the direction of Mifflin Street, their arms linked, their stride slow. They didn't speak during the walk back to Regina's house nor did either break the hold they had on one another. Regina wasn't sure what it was, but she knew that the source of that familiar warmth flowing through her body was Emma presence alone. She didn't want that feeling to go away, she didn't want the numbness to return or the empty, broken, shattered feeling in her heart to remind her of her loss, their loss.

Regina entered the house first, inhaling sharply at the quiet emptiness. She removed her coat and when Emma removed hers, she hung both in the closet and led the way wordlessly to the study where she poured herself a small glass of cider.

"Would you like a glass?"

"Do you have any whisky?"

Regina nodded, pointing to the liquor cabinet by her desk. "Help yourself," she said softly before retreating to the comfort of the sofa in front of the unlit fireplace. "Emma?"

"Hmm?" Emma didn't turn away from the cabinet as she poured herself a small glass from one of the finer bottles of whisky she kept. She turned to look over at Regina before screwing the cap back on the bottle. "Did you want something else to drink?"

"No, no I'm fine. I thought perhaps we could talk."

"Sure," Emma replied with a nod as she joined Regina on the sofa, sitting next to her instead of opting to sit on the sofa across from her. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Henry."

"Oh," Emma said softly, frowning before she lifted her glass to her lips and took a small sip. She exhaled sharply and turned on the sofa to face her fully. "What about him?"

"You haven't asked…"

"How he died," she finished for her. "We don't have to talk about this now, Regina. Not today."

"You don't want to know?"

"Of course I want to know, I want answers just like any mother would want when it comes to why their only child died so suddenly," Emma snapped and she took another drink, sipping more than the last. "Nobody has told me anything."

"You haven't been around," Regina countered. "How could anyone tell you what happened when nobody knew where you were the past couple of days?"

Regina could feel herself becoming out of control of her own emotions, but what surprised her was how eerily calm Emma was in that moment. It had been the polar opposite days ago, with Regina in control and Emma slipping off the edge completely. Regina lifted her glass to her lips and sipped her cider, knowing she needed something far stronger, but she also knew that it was not a good idea. Drinking in the middle of the afternoon was never a good idea, not for either of them, and drinking together had them dancing along a dangerous, unsteady path.

Regina took another sip before placing the glass on the coaster on the coffee table. "The hospital called the other day to inform me of what they'd found to be the cause of death. They said it was a pulmonary embolism and what that is—"

"I know what that is," Emma snapped and she downed the rest of the whisky in her glass and clutched on to it tightly. "He died because of _that_?"

"Emma—"

"You do realize that he could've been saved, right? They could've stopped it if he'd only gotten to the hospital in time!"

"Emma, please—"

"You," Emma glared angrily at her, her whole body trembling. "You ignored my phone calls, Regina. You could've gotten him to the hospital faster if you weren't being such a frigid bitch!"

They both stood, both staring the other down, Regina more than ready to subdue Emma if she needed to in a split-second notice. "No one is at fault," Regina murmured and she cast her eyes downwards, the guilt creeping back up from deep inside of her. "I know that he could've been saved and there is no telling if—"

"You are the reason our son is dead."

"Emma, you cannot blame me for what happened that night," Regina said quickly, holding her hands out towards the unsteady, angry blonde. "Even if I had been there, even if I took him to the hospital, there is no telling if those few minutes would've mattered. There is no way of knowing when it started and how long he had suffered before you found him."

Regina placed her hands on Emma's shoulders the moment she saw her eyes begin to darken as they had before when she'd lost all control of her emotions and her magic. She swallowed thickly as she watched Emma fight that feeling, teetering on the edge and about to fall victim to the harsh grip of darkness.

"No one is at fault," Regina whispered. "No one, Emma. These things, they just happen. Maybe he could've been saved, but maybe before you found him it was already too late."

"He's dead."

"I know."

"He's gone," Emma cried quietly, her eyes darkening even more so as the tears began to spill over. "He's gone, Regina. He's never coming back."

Regina shuddered as she moved closer to the unstable, broken woman in front of her. Wordlessly, she wrapped her arms around Emma and held her close, feeling the struggle she was going through as Emma rigidly wrapped her arms around Regina's waist. Regina wanted nothing more than to be the strength they both needed, but even she wasn't strong enough to hold herself and Emma together in such a crucial moment.

"Regina, I—I can't."

"Can't what?" Regina whispered, not letting go of her just yet. "What is it, Emma?"

"I can't."

"Can't what?" She asked again, leaning back and moving a hand to gently turn Emma's face so that she could look into her eyes. "You can talk to me. Please, tell me."

"I can't accept that," she said through gritted teeth. "I can't accept that nobody is at fault."

"Emma—"

"It was him."

"Who?" Regina asked, struggling to keep a firm hold on Emma and failing as Emma pushed her away. "Emma?"

"The driver," she continued. "The man who was driving the bus. It's his fault our son is dead."

"Emma—"

"No!" Emma yelled at her, a small, sharp burst of magic escaping from her as the tears continued to fall. "No, I can't accept that nobody is at fault, Regina! I know that you are trying to believe that yourself, but I also know you want someone to blame, to hold someone responsible for all of this. I know that you want revenge as much as I do!"

Emma was losing herself once again and Regina knew she had to find a way to calm her down, to ground her there, and to give her what little strength she did possess. She reached out for her once more, her touch tender and light.

"Emma, I know it is unbearable," Regina soothed as she gently cupped Emma's face, her thumbs streaking over her cheeks to wipe away her tears. "I know you want to make someone pay dearly, for the tragedy and for the loss of our son, but doing that won't bring him back."

Emma shuddered as she reached out for her, her hands grasping tightly at Regina's hips. Regina was uncertain of how to calm Emma down, especially since she could almost taste the darkness inside of her, swirling around, fighting to break free once again. She tried not to think back to just a few weeks ago when their lives had been normal and the boundaries of their friendship hadn't been tested by that one-night stand.

She had remembered every touch, every kiss, and the way that Emma's body had felt on top and beneath her own. Even when she hadn't wanted to remember every detail of their night together, her mind and body betrayed her, just as it was in that very moment. She let go of Emma suddenly, unable to stand to be so close, to be touching her, to feel as if she were exposing herself in such a vulnerable state and in a moment that could spiral out of control in two very different ways.

Emma let her go and Regina smoothed her black dress down over her hips before grabbing her glass of cider and downing the last of it. She walked over to the liquor cabinet, definitely needing something far stronger than her best batch of cider. The numbness threatened to slide back in and she just wanted to feel something. Anything at all, even if it was the harsh burn of whisky sliding down her throat, or even the smooth burn of vodka or the tang of tequila as she drank it greedily. All she wanted to feel was something other than what she felt in that very moment.

She didn't want to feel broken.

Or shattered.

Or numb.

She settled on whisky, nothing more than a shot in the glass. She inhaled shakily as she walked back over to the sofa where Emma sat, elbows on her knees and her head hung low as she breathed heavily, struggling to keep herself under some semblance of control. Regina said nothing as she sat back down next to her and sipped her drink.

All she could do was watch Emma carefully, watch the rise and fall of her shoulders and how she slid her fingers through her hair and gripped before releasing, never lifting her head up once, not until she inhaled sharply and reached for her glass, now empty and set it back down on top of the coaster.

"Would you like another?"

"No," Emma muttered. "Yes."

Regina grabbed her glass and made the short trip to the liquor cabinet, careful not to pour too much in Emma's glass. She failed to notice the way her hand shook as she carried the glass over to Emma and she failed to notice the way Emma's head shot up, her eyes instantly meeting her own as she handed the glass to her. Their fingers touched just for a second, but she definitely didn't fail to notice the electric shock the moment they had touched.

"Thank you," Emma said softly, offering her a small smile. "Do you want me to stay?"

"Will you?"

"If you want me to."

Despite already having that very conversation at the cemetery, Regina knew that Emma was doing more than just confirming that her presence was wanted and needed. She smiled warmly at Emma, trying in vain to push her thoughts and those memories of being with the blonde out of her mind and failing. There was a mesmerizing pull she always felt around her and now that she'd had a taste of it, she had to have more. Now wasn't the time to push for more. They'd only just buried their son a handful of hours ago.

Tears stung at the corners of her eyes and she sipped her drink, trying to swallow her pain with the burn of whisky. They were both in such a vulnerable state, in both their minds and in their hearts. Emma was struggling, she could not only see it, but she could feel it too.

"Let me help you," she whispered, afraid to reach out to touch her yet. "Let me help you learn to control what you feel inside."

"I don't need your help."

"Yes, you do."

Emma downed what was in her glass and gasped as she placed it down on the coaster. "How?" She asked quietly, her eyes turning to look at Regina, the darkness still swirling in her green eyes dangerously. "How can you help me, Regina?"

"Magic is about control," she said and she shakily placed her glass down on the other coaster. "Magic is about emotion and if you are not in control of your emotions, you cannot control your magic. What do you feel right now, Emma?"

"Angry."

"Hmm," Regina nodded and she tentatively reached out for both of Emma's hands. "And what else do you feel? Is there something stronger than the anger?"

"You."

Regina swallowed thickly. "And what about me?"

"You told me you only want what I was willing to give," Emma whispered. "I don't know what I can give you, Regina, but all I can feel is you."

"Emma, focus," she said with a shake of her head. "What else do you feel?"

"Warmth."

_Love_.

"Focus on that," Regina said, watching as the darkness swirling in her eyes slowly began to dissipate. "Focus on how it makes you feel and control that feeling."

Emma closed her eyes and wet her lips slowly, Regina's gaze lingering on her tongue before she focused on Emma's closed eyes. She could feel the intensity of the magic, of Emma's attempt in controlling it not just with the touch of their hands, but it was in the air all around them. Emma's eyes fluttered open and gone was the darkness that had been there before. Her eyes filled with tears as she gently squeezed Regina's hands, but neither let go as they fell into a heavy, intense and lingering gaze.

All Regina could feel was her too, and it was intoxicating, tempting, and she knew if she didn't put some space between them, that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from leaning forward and kissing her. She tried to let go of Emma's hands, but Emma held on tightly and shook her head.

"I screwed up," she whispered. "I screwed everything up between us. I wanted to fix it, Regina, and god, I even got on my knees and begged for you to forgive me for being such an idiot."

"Emma—"

"You still haven't, have you?" Emma asked and she let out a sharp laugh and let go of Regina's hands. "You haven't forgiven me for being with _her_."

"Emma—"

"Will you ever forgive me?"

"Yes. I will. I have."

Emma's eyes softened as she stared at her. "You have?" She asked, the vulnerability she was feeling sounding so clear in her voice. "You've forgiven me for being with her when I should've been with you?"

Regina nodded, smiling softly at the now confused blonde sitting next to her. Just as Regina was about to give her answer with more than just a nod of her head, Emma's phone began to ring. With a frown, she got up from the sofa and headed out to the closet in the foyer to get her phone from her jacket, leaving Regina alone with her thoughts.

After a handful of minutes passed, she got up from the sofa to find out what was keeping Emma. When she entered the foyer, her heart dropped a little to find the front door slightly ajar and Emma absolutely nowhere to be seen. With a dejected sigh, she shut the door and forced the tears not to fall.


	19. Chapter 19

Emma paced the small clearing, fidgeting with her phone as she waited. She had left Regina's house after the phone call came through and once she was out of her home, she transported herself to the location she was instructed to go to and wait.

"Been waiting long, dearie?"

"No," Emma said automatically as Gold strolled out from behind a row of dense bushes.

"Good," he smiled cheerfully. "How are you coming along in your task?"

"He's still at the convent, protected by the fairies."

"But not for much longer, I assume. Not when they find out they can no longer protect him with their precious fairy magic."

Emma sighed and waited for him to continue and when he didn't, she shoved her hands into her jacket pockets and sighed again. "How long do I have to wait?"

"Not long at all, dearie. I've brought in some reinforcements, so to speak."

"Reinforcements?"

"Someone you know," he chuckled and with flicker of his fingers, the reinforcements he spoke of emerged from behind the same row of bushes he had just come from. "I believe introductions are not necessary."

"Lily?"

"Hey," she smiled as she walked up to her. "I'm guessing that I'm the last one you expected to see right now."

"What? What is going on?"

"Did you think it was by chance that bus was allowed to cross the town line?" Lily asked. "Did you think that it was a coincidence that I just happened to be on that very bus?"

"It wasn't a coincidence," Gold hissed into Emma's ear as he stood behind her. "I brought her here. The tragic accident wasn't meant to happen of course, but as they say, accidents do happen. I brought her here for a reason, Emma Swan. Care to guess what that very reason is?"

"Can I tell her?" Lily asked with a sweet smile and Gold tittered behind Emma before he stepped aside and nodded his head. "The spell on the town line needs to be broken. People in this town need to be free to come and go."

"That's it?"

"There's more," Lily said, the smile not faltering as she stepped closer to Emma. "Do you want to guess or should I just tell you, Emma?"

Emma clenched her jaw tightly. "It has to do with me, doesn't it?"

"She's smart," Gold chuckled. "Yes, dearie, it has to do with you, but it cannot be done without the dark magic that now resides inside of you."

"Blood must be spilled," Lily continued, "and it must be spilled by your hand."

"The problem with that is that he is protected by the fairies and their magic," Gold said and Lily laughed as she stared hard at Emma. "That is another reason why I brought her here. She has the very ability that I myself lack or else I'd take care of the fairies myself."

"What ability is that?"

"To give and take, of course."

"Give and take what?" Emma asked.

"Magic."

[X]

Regina rouse from her nap just before the doorbell rang. After discovering Emma had suddenly departed without a word as to why, she retreated upstairs to her bedroom, the alcohol doing nothing more than giving her a piercing headache. Regina smoothed out her slightly wrinkled dress as she headed down the stairs, the nap having all but eliminated the headache she'd had earlier. She sighed loudly as the doorbell rang once again and she unlocked the door and pulled it open with a quiet huff of annoyance.

"What do you want?" Regina asked a somber-faced David.

"Is Emma here?" David asked. "She isn't answering her phone."

"No, she is not here and no, I do not know where she ran off to either. She left without a word after receiving a phone call."

"When did she leave?"

"Several hours ago."

David groaned as he rubbed the back of his neck. "We've got a little problem, Regina."

"And by little you mean big?" Regina asked and he nodded his head. "And what is this problem that you cannot seem to deal with yourself, Charming?"

"Larry Eckert."

"Who?"

"The bus driver," David said and Regina nodded. "He'd been safe at the convent and we weren't planning on moving him yet again to protect him from Emma, but I've been informed that the spell the fairies have used to protect him has failed and now he's missing."

"As is Emma."

Regina sighed. She had to remain calm because reacting any other way would not help any of them with their current predicament.

"I'm not sure what to do, Regina."

"Have you informed anyone else that both are missing?" Regina asked and he nodded. "I'm going to make a quick trip to the convent and talk to Blue, find out why the spell failed and then I am going to find Emma."

"How are you going to do that?"

"How else do you think? Magic."

Regina disappeared in a swirl of smoke and reappeared on the driveway leading up to the convent. She climbed the stairs and just as she was about to raise her hand, the door opened and she stood face to face with Blue. While she felt uneasy being there and especially with being around the fairies, she knew they had to deal with this problem quickly and before Emma did something that she could not come back from.

Regina's general fear was that she'd already done something beyond her control. Something else didn't sit right with her and that was the fact that Gold was clearly involved.

Regina followed Blue through the entryway and into a small sitting room. She politely declined the offer for some tea, eager to get straight down to business. Time was of the essence and something they did not have much of to waste, if at all. Blue explained the protection spell they'd placed not just around the convent, but on the man himself, a simple spell but one that should've been unbreakable by no one other than the one who cast the spell itself, which was Blue.

"If you did not break the spell, who did?"

"Someone else did," Blue replied. "Someone new in town. Someone powerful."

"Who?"

Blue sighed and fidgeted with the seam on her navy dress. "We're uncertain, Regina. All I can tell you that this person is far more powerful than anyone any of us have ever seen."

"Powerful in what way?"

"In a way that can strip any of us of our magic without us knowing it is happening," Blue replied and Regina sighed heavily. "They also have the ability to give magic of their choosing."

"There is—"

"No way that it should be possible for someone to possess such an ability, but unfortunately that someone is here in Storybrooke and in the very possession of that power. We're not certain who it is, but they have not been in town for very long. The others and I have discussed that it may possibly be someone who came in on that bus."

The tiny hairs on the back of her neck prickled at the mention of that someone coming in to town on the very bus that was behind the single worst tragedy that had ever struck their town. She clenched her hands in her lap tightly and tried to remain calm. She knew exactly who that someone was and the very thought of it had her anger flaring dangerously inside of her.

Lily.

Needing nothing more from the fairy, Regina rose from the chair she was seated in and instructed her very carefully on what she was to do the moment that Regina had left the convent. She provided her with a complex locator spell, one that could bypass any magic that had been used to protect the man and one that she hoped could get through whatever kind of magic that Lily herself was in possession of.

Regina was soon in her vault and rifling through her things she'd brought with her when she enacted the first curse, looking for a very specific spell book amongst her possessions. After a lengthy search that took time she could not afford to waste, she found the book she sought. It was more than just a spell book; it held information of legends of magical creatures and beings that were foretold to have existed thousands of years ago back in the Enchanted Forest.

Before she could find Emma, she needed to find out just _what_ Lily was or else she'd be unable to protect herself and others from the powerful woman. She flipped through the book, one she had only vaguely gone through once before in her entire time she had possessed it. She came to a stop on a page she had disregarded before, a page that mentioned of a place that shouldn't be possible to exist with demons and hell-gods and thousands of perished souls that lived in that realm, ruled by one far more powerful than anything any of the realms had ever faced before.

Under a faded drawing of a creature that had surely haunted the nightmares of thousands before was a name written in tiny, elegant script. Regina slammed the book shut with wide eyes and knew they were in trouble. Big trouble.

The name that had been written was "Lilith" and she was perceived to be far more evil, far more powerful than any being in all the realms.

Powerful and seductive, persuasive and deceiving. Emma had been seduced by the devil herself and she likely had absolutely zero idea of not just who, but _what_ Lily truly was. Regina's stomach twisted into knots and she clutched on to the book tightly, trying to steady herself. She needed to find Emma before she killed that man and Regina just had a feeling that there was a lot more to it than Emma's thirsty need for revenge.

[X]

Emma sat on the stump, poking at the fire while listening to the conversation happening a few feet away from her. Just off to her left was the man she had sought days before, the very man who she believed was the reason her son was dead, locked and chained up inside a iron cage Gold had procured with magic out of thin air. She had yet to truly look at the man and yet she could taste his fear from where she sat.

It was as intoxicating as the dark magic that flowed freely through her veins and her very soul.

"They'll find us soon," Lily whispered to Gold. "You know that they will."

"What do you propose we do then, dearie?"

Emma watched with wide eyes as Lily's hand shot out and gripped at Gold's neck tightly. "You call me "dearie" one more time and I'll crush you without a second thought."

"Need I remind you who brought you here? Who helped you conjure your dormant magic?"

Lily let out a low growl before letting him go and like a switch was flipped, a sugary sweet smile danced over her lips as she approached Emma slowly. With a single nod, Emma stood up from the stump and dropped the stick she'd been using to poke at the small fire.

"Emma," she cooed as she cupped her face gently. "Dear sweet Emma," she chuckled throatily as Emma stood there unmoving. "Had I known who you were a very long time ago, things would've played out so very different for you."

"Are you done playing with the Savior?" Gold asked. The tone of his voice bored as he stood a few feet away from them with his arms crossed over his chest. "Time is of the essence!"

"Are you ready?" Lily asked, ignoring him, her breath skirting across Emma's slightly parted lips.

"I'm ready."

"It is almost time," she continued and with a wave of her hand she held the slim dagger that had been given to Emma just a few days prior and placed it in Emma's open palm. "You will finish what you started two nights ago and _she_ won't be here to stop you this time, will she?"

"No, she will not."

Lily chuckled throatily and nodded her head. "No, she will not stop you this time, Emma, and if she tries, she'll be dead before she can save that sorry, pathetic excuse of a human being."

Emma swallowed thickly, a part of her deep inside wanting to fight, to stop this, but she wasn't in control of herself, she could feel that now as Lily's eyes bore deeply into her own. She tried to shake free of whatever it was that was holding her back from coming into control of not just her body and her mind, but that of her magic, both light and dark that resided inside of her.

"I know you're fighting it," Lily murmured, her lips just a hairsbreadth away from Emma's and she snickered. "Don't, Emma. Fighting it only makes it harder on you and I don't want anything to happen to you, love."

Emma grit her teeth as Lily kissed her and any semblance of resistance of fighting the power that controlled her all but faded away with one single kiss. Lily released her with a smile.

"Is the spell ready?" Lily asked without taking her eyes off of Emma. "Gold?"

"It is always ready at the drop of a hat, it just needs one last ingredient."

"You know what you have to do, Emma."

"Kill him," Emma replied hollowly. "I have to kill him."

[X]

Regina could feel her magic draining as she tried hard to put her sole focus on Emma. The clock was ticking and she had no idea how much time she had left, if any at all. Every time she felt like she was closer to finding Emma, she lost all trace of her.

She slammed her hands down on the table before scattering the lit candles to the floor of her vault. The spell wasn't working. Something was blocking her, something powerful and unfamiliar to her in every way. She inhaled sharply, and picked up the candles one by one, relighting them with a small wave of her hand. She tried again, focusing on Emma's distinct magical signature, but it felt weaker than it had mere moments before.

It hit her then that the magical signature she was focusing on was that of Emma's light magic. She knew then that the dark magic that had been placed inside of her had returned at full force, swallowing the light inside of her completely. She had only briefly had a taste of the darkness harbored inside of Emma, but that brief taste had been more than enough. Refocusing herself and on the spell, she searched for Emma once more, tracing her by her dark magic instead of the light.

A small smile curled over her lips when she could sense her completely, but something felt off entirely and Regina knew it wasn't going to be as simple as transporting herself to where Emma was waiting. She pushed away from the table with a frustrated growl and knew she couldn't do this alone despite the fact that she had no other choice in the matter.

It was already such an emotionally trying day that was far from over yet. Regina could hardly believe that barely eight hours had passed since they had buried their son and now she had to stop Emma from succumbing to the darkness completely. Once she had blood on her hands, there was no coming back from that. That was the last thing Regina wanted to see Emma go through and she couldn't let her kill that man, she couldn't.

"Regina?"

She rolled her eyes at the sound of David's voice at the entrance of her vault, but she did not respond and instead she searched through her things until she found what she was looking for, the very same cuff that had been used not only on herself and Gold, but on Pan as well to subdue them of their magic.

"Regina?" David called out gently. "Have you found her?"

"Yes," she replied without turning around to look at him. "I know where she is, roughly."

David stayed back as Regina found a small pouch and placed the cuff securely inside of it before cinching the pouch around her waist. She grabbed one of the many swords she had stored down there with the rest of her personal belongings she ran her fingertip over the razor-sharp edge before turning to Charming and tossing it at him. He caught it easily and raised a curious eyebrow at her.

"What is the plan, Regina?"

"I need you to get in touch with the dwarves and have them work with the fairies to construct a cell much like the one you and Snow had built to contain Rumplestiltskin in all those years ago."

"But why?"

Regina pinched at the bridge of her nose before selecting a sword for herself. "It's that woman," she said after a moment. "The one that Emma has been with as of late."

"Lily? I don't understand," David said as he took a step towards her. "What does she have to do with any of this?"

"Lily is not just someone from Emma's past. She's something far more powerful than anything you or I have ever known."

"Who is she, Regina?"

"Not who, _what_," Regina corrected him. "I'll explain everything—"

"No, you're going to explain everything right now."

Regina growled angrily as she closed the distance between them and she grabbed at the front of his jacket and shoved him against the wall to her right. "Let's make one thing very clear right now, Charming," she said lowly, dangerously. "Time is something none of us have on our side at this moment. Now, unless you want to lose your daughter to the darkness that is currently inside of her, you will stop asking questions and do as you are told!"

She focused on the feel of Emma's dark magic signature as she disappeared from her vault with a flourish and she blinked her eyes as she found herself in the middle of the forest. She inhaled sharply as she could taste the magic as it crackled in the air all around her. She was close, but not close enough she feared as she started walking through the dense forest, making sure to keep quiet with every careful step she took.

She came to the edge of the tree line that gave way to a small clearing and that was when she saw Emma, standing by a small fire with Lily at her side and Gold retrieving the man from the iron cage. She could feel something else lingering in the air and she waved a hand slowly in front of her, watching the shimmer of the barrier that enclosed the small clearing completely.

Her heart dropped as she watched the man being pushed away from the iron cage, the look of pure terror in his eyes as he stumbled away from Gold, pleading to be let go. Lily waved her hand and the man flung through the air and stopped suddenly just a foot and a half away from where she and Emma stood. She leaned in to whisper something into Emma's ear and grinned as Emma readily nodded and raised the hand the small dagger was currently being gripped in.

"Please, Emma," Regina murmured as she watched it all unfold in front of her very eyes, the barrier preventing her from charging forward and putting a stop to it all. "Please, fight it, fight her. Don't let either of them control you, don't lose yourself to the darkness. Please…"

Regina could hardly stomach to watch the woman she loved kill another and she focused all her energy on breaking past the barrier spell that had been cast likely to protect them from her. Tears stung at her eyes, and she felt powerless to stop Emma from making the biggest mistake of her life, a mistake that would darken her very heart and soul.

But Emma was not in control of herself, it was very clear to her as she watched her almost rigidly take those few steps towards the terrified man. The dagger she held was with a steady hand and the darkness, the blackness in her eyes a mere terrifying sight to Regina as she had hoped she wouldn't have had to see Emma succumb to the darkness that way. That easily.

"Kill him," Lily purred from behind Emma, her eyes casting to the side and meeting Regina's over the short distance. "Now!"

Regina broke through the barrier with the last of her strength just as Emma pressed the edge of the dagger to the man's throat. She yelled out, a silent cry, as the blade sliced through skin, blood spilling over the shiny blade and over Emma's now shaking hand.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Notes: Just to be clear, I wrote these chapters long before 4b began airing. I made Lily more of my own character and yes I know she's Maleficent's daughter on the show, but she's not in this story. That being said, the story is complete (I've yet to post all the chapters) and I'm not surprised to get a mix of reactions from people who are either reading far too much into the story or not paying enough attention to small details. I cannot please everyone and that's okay because I enjoyed writing this story and I'm sharing it because I want to. Enjoy :)**

* * *

Regina stumbled forward as she watched the darkness leave Emma's eyes completely, the spell that had been cast over her dispersing as the man fell to the ground, unmoving as he bled out quickly. Emma shook as she dropped the dagger, her eyes meeting Regina's over the short distance between them. She felt so drained as she tried to take a few steps and realized as she watched Gold disappear with the body that Lily was restraining her with magic.

She fought it with every ounce of her being, only able to break free of the hold she was in when Emma violently shoved Lily as a means of distraction. It gave Regina those few precious seconds to gather what was left of her strength and she sent a burst of energy towards Lily, throwing her as far back away from Emma as she could manage.

"Emma," she gasped as she reached the terrified, fear-struck blonde. "Emma—"

"Regina?" Emma whispered, her name just barely falling past her trembling lips. "Regina? What happened? What did I do?"

"Emma—"

"You did exactly what we needed you to do," Lily said as she stood before them. "Everything has been set in motion, now I have just one last thing I need to take care of."

"What's that?" Emma asked through gritted teeth. "Haven't you done enough already?"

"Enough? I've only just begun!" Lily laughed, a sound that chilled Regina to her very core. "I am thinking that I'll start with her," she said as she pointed straight at Regina. "Her magic is quite delicious, isn't it?"

Regina felt herself suspended a half a foot off the ground and unable to fight back. It reminded her far too much of the way her own mother once punished her and it made the bile rise in her throat. Before she could even attempt to open her mouth, Lily stood before her and slowly lowered her back to the ground, but only until her feet were just barely touching the grass beneath her. With a sly smirk, Lily's eyes raked over her face and then her body in a way she only wanted Emma to look at her.

"Beautiful, isn't she, Emma?" Lily asked with a click of her tongue. "So many imperfections though, on the surface and on the inside, hmm? I wonder if she tastes as good as her magic—"

"Don't touch her!" Emma gasped as Lily casually waved at her, sending her flying back and crashing hard to the ground.

"He told me all about _you_, Regina," Lily said as she ran a smooth fingernail over Regina's left cheek. "He told me about how you were just another pawn in his game. How you were so pathetic, so desperate, and a fool enough to play along in his game in casting the first curse and yet you lost yourself along the way, didn't you?"

Regina clenched her jaw, trying hard to steal her gaze away from the woman in front of her to look at Emma, but found it to be an impossible feat. The nail that scraped along her cheek pressed harder, threatening to break skin as Lily leaned in close, her breath ghosting over Regina's tightly pressed lips.

Regina held firm, as if she had much other choice as the magic held her in place. Lily laughed coldly as she licked over her lips, casting her gaze away from Regina for one moment to look over at Emma as she struggled to get herself up to her feet. Tears stung in Regina's eyes as Lily turned her attention back to her, a cruel and sadistic smirk curling over her lips.

"I bet you do taste as good as your magic does," Lily purred, dipping her tongue out to flick along the top of Regina's lip. "And I bet you our dear sweet Emma wishes she remembers that night."

Regina struggled against the magic holding her in place, keeping her still, silent, and unable to defend herself or Emma. She could not only see the evil that was inside of Lily, but she could almost taste it and it was bitter and vile, like an apple rotten to the core only a thousand times worse. She had tasted evil before, but it had tasted nothing like _her_.

"You know who I am, don't you?" Lily asked, her whisper sharp and harsh, icy. "Does it scare you knowing that everything you are, I can take it with just a kiss?"

"Lily—"

"Stay," she snapped at Emma, sending a pulse of magic towards her, forcing her back down to the ground just as she pulled herself to her feet. "How inconsiderate," she tittered. "Now, where were we? Oh yes, we were right about…here."

Regina tried to fight it, tried to pull herself free, but as Lily's lips crushed against her own, she felt truly powerless in every single way. Her body shook under the magical hold, her skin burned where Lily's fingers dug into her cheeks, but the worst of it all was feeling the pain of her magic slowly leaving her body through that kiss.

[X]

Emma gripped at the grass and dirt, struggling to get up after the shock of magic had knocked her down for a second time. She lifted her head, watching as Lily kissed Regina, a heaviness settling in her heart as it shattered to pieces at the very sight.

Nothing made any sense, but in that moment, it didn't need to. She could get her answers after as Regina clearly needed her to stop Lily from doing exactly what she saw happening. Bit by bit, Regina's magic was being sucked dry from her, all from a single kiss from the other brunette. Swirls of purple and red surrounded them both before absorbing into every inch of Lily's body.

It was clear that Regina was struggling to fight, struggling to stop Lily and failing. Emma was feeling weak; the spell Lily and Gold had used to control her had drained her almost completely the moment it had broken. She couldn't give up, fighting for the last of her own strength as she pulled herself to her feet, hoping to hell that Lily was far too preoccupied with Regina to notice she was no longer down and out for the count.

Emma had no idea what Lily was or how she had the power she possessed, but she wasn't afraid of her or what she could do to her. The only singular thought in her mind in that very moment was that of saving Regina from her.

"Hey," Emma said as she grabbed the back of Lily's black leather jacket and ripped her away from Regina. "I told you not to touch her!"

She growled as she pulled harder, her fingers curling into a fist as her hand reeled back. With a hard right hook, she sent Lily stumbling and she barely was able to catch Regina before she collapsed to the ground. Her growing concern for the woman now in her arms was yanked away as Lily separated them both with a burst of magic that left her body tingling and not in a good way. She gasped as she looked over at Regina now lying in a crumpled heap almost twenty feet from her, between her and a now seriously pissed off Lily.

Lily sneered as she lifted her fingers to wipe away at the small trickle of blood on the corner of her mouth and when she caught Emma's gaze, she slowly licked the blood from her fingertips. The sight caused Emma to shudder and before she could counter-attack Lily with a burst of magic, she felt invisible tendrils wrap around her body tightly.

"Always playing the role of the Savior, are you not?" Lily asked huskily, slowly approaching Emma as she licked over her lips slowly. "You cannot save her as much as you cannot save yourself. Besides, you're too late, Emma."

"Too late for what?"

"It's almost done," she replied with a self-satisfied smirk. "The spell. The one that'll free the town of the spell that protects it from the rest of the world."

"All of this and for what? Just so people are free to come and go?"

"Of course not," Lily laughed. "It is so much more than that, Emma! Magic has been contained here, growing stronger by the day. It is such a waste for the rest of the world not to know how delicious magic truly tastes."

Emma swallowed thickly. "That's what this is about? Bringing magic to the rest of this world? You know that isn't going to end well, don't you?"

"Of course it isn't going to end well, Emma," Lily snapped and in an instant, that sugary sweet smile of hers was dancing over her lips. "Of course, I am looking forward to it. I haven't felt this power since before I was born into this life. I'm surprised though, that the imp was able to reach out to me despite that barrier being in place. Evil can always find a way around those fine lines."

Emma grit her teeth but knew she had to keep the other woman talking as she spotted Regina just out of the corner of her eye struggling to get to her feet, her hand reaching into the pouch cinched around her waist for the all too familiar leather cuff she had pulled out from inside it.

"How did you do it? How did you cross the town line?"

"Oh, what's the fun in that if I give up the secret?"

"How? I'm curious."

Lily laughed as she stepped closer to her, close enough that Emma could feel her warm breath against her face. "That man you killed? He wasn't as innocent as he appeared to be. Sure, he had the face of a kind, sweet old man, but he liked to drink and get a little hands on with his ex-wife. He loved to hit her, hurt her. Every single person on that bus, Emma, they are all tortured and lost souls, all destined to end up in one place once their sorry little lives are over."

Lily shook her head at Emma's sudden silence, but her gaze didn't waver. Lily shook her head and lifted a hand to gently caress Emma's hair, a gesture that made her want to reel away from, but the magic restraint she was under prevented her from doing just that.

"Such a spell shouldn't have been possible," Lily continued. "Even I doubted that it would even work for it has been such a very long time since I had any semblance of power inside of me. Yet, the closer we came to this little town, nicely tucked away from the rest of this sorry, broken, and hopeless world, I started to feel it, started to feel the power that lay just beyond the town line and the barrier that has protected this place time and time again."

"That's it? A spell?"

Lily laughed. "Simple enough, isn't it? When Rumplestiltskin reached out to me and proposed a deal, I almost declined until he mentioned your name. How could I resist having a chance to tempt you, to seduce you, to sway you towards the darkness, especially if I could have that power inside of me again? You had no idea, did you? I bet you never even felt it when I kissed you that first time, me giving you the darkness that now resides inside of you?"

Emma clenched her jaw and barely was able to shake her head no and she tried not to make it so obvious that she was watching Regina slowly make her way over to them, her body obviously in pain as it showed in the stiff way that she moved.

"I couldn't give it to you all at once, of course, because you would've definitely felt it before the time was right. Oh how I wish I could've been there when you snapped."

Emma had to wonder now if Lily was behind Henry's death no matter what Regina had told her that the hospital had found to be the cause of his sudden and unexpected death. She wasn't going to put it past her thought because the woman standing in front of her was the epitome of evil. How hadn't she seen it before? Had she been under some kind of a spell from the moment she saw Lily that morning after the accident in the hospital?

"You were so broken before I had a chance to break you myself," Lily purred and she stroked her fingers over Emma's cheeks in what could be deciphered as a loving gesture, but it was far more than that and it disgusted her to the core. "You were so broken because of _her_, weren't you, my dear sweet Emma?"

"No," she managed to grit out before Lily roughly grabbed at her chin. "You were the one who broke me, Lily."

"I was?" Asked so innocently that she wanted nothing more than to break free of the hold she was in to smack that smirk that danced over her lips. "That'd be comforting, almost, if I believed you even for just a second. She did break you, Emma. Don't you see that?"

Emma looked at Regina openly then, pleading her with her eyes to get that cuff on Lily. She was far too afraid of what would happen if she didn't. Her eyes widened in fear as Lily turned and backhanded Regina, sending her reeling backwards and down to the ground once more, the cuff rolling just out of her reach.

Fear turned to white-hot anger as she watched Regina spit out a mouthful of blood as she struggled to push her body up from the ground. She fought the restraint her body was enveloped in and with a flood of magic, a mixture of dark and light, she broke through the magical binding. The shock of it startled Lily, who'd had her sights set on Regina in that very moment. As untrained as she was when it came to her magic, not to mention how out of control it was for her at the best of times, Emma shot out a burst of light magic, throwing Lily away from Regina as far as she could manage.

"Regina?" Emma asked as she rushed to her side, the left side of her face bloody and swollen.

"The cuff," Regina gasped. "Get the cuff and put it on her. Now, Emma!"

Emma glanced over at where the leather cuff lay in the grass and she scrambled to reach it, not anticipating the hard blow of magic that hit her in the side and took the breath right out of her. Her vision swam as she struggled to push herself off the ground and she gasped out in pain as a foot pressed down just between her shoulder blades.

"You can fight me all you want, Emma, but face it, I'm stronger than you in every single way and I can snap your neck like a twig if I wanted to, but guess what? There is no fun in that is there? Not when I can have you as a pretty little plaything, cast a spell and you'd have no idea, hmm? You'd belong to me and I could do with you as I please."

"Is that what you did before? Is that why I felt nothing when I was with you? When I let you in my bed and between my legs?"

Lily laughed as she pressed her foot harder into Emma's back before dropping to place her knee there instead. She leaned down, pulled back Emma's hair, and licked along the shell of her ear ever so slowly. "Didn't stop you from screaming out my name, did it? It didn't stop you from begging me to fuck your sweet, little cunt—"

Lily yelped out suddenly and Emma scrambled to turn around once she felt the weight of her gone from her back. She watched as Regina yanked Lily off of her, her fist in a handful of hair, pure and undiluted rage shining in her brown eyes as she pulled Lily's hair harder.

"You bitch!"

"She does not belong to you," Regina growled, letting go of Lily's hair, it clear to Emma she could barely stand on her own and yet there she was, standing in front of Lily, angrier than Emma had ever seen her before. "She is not your little plaything and she never will be again."

"Oh, how sweet," Lily chuckled throatily. "And who does she belong to? You? She doesn't even want you, Regina. You're just as broken as she is. Why would she possibly want to be with someone like you?"

"She belongs to nobody, she is not an object! She is a goddamn human being who deserves every right to choose who she wants to be with."

"And you think she'll choose you?" Lily cooed. "You had your chance with her, Regina. She didn't want you, remember? You make her feel nothing more than confused and more broken than she's ever been," Lily chuckled and wrapped her hands around Regina's throat. "And guess what? I know all about your quest to find your own little happy ending. You gave up, didn't you? You gave up when you realized that it was _never_ going to happen."

Emma felt mesmerized watching the entire thing unfold in front of her eyes and as she managed to take a nice, deep breath, her vision clearing, and her strength returning if not just by a rush of adrenaline, she spotted the leather cuff on the grass just behind Lily. She moved quickly to get to her feet and she grabbed the cuff from the ground and grabbed a hold of Lily by one shoulder while slamming the cuff on her right wrist with the other. The move startled her just enough to let go of Regina's neck and Emma pulled her until she faced her, her right fist slamming hard into the left side of her head, once, twice, then a third time before her body limply fell to the ground.

Regina stumbled forward before Emma caught her, saving her from falling to the ground as well. She held on to her tightly, feeling the entire lack of strength she truly had to keep herself standing and she pushed aside the few strands of hair that stuck to the blood on her forehead just above her eyebrow.

"Hey, Regina?" Emma said quietly, watching as her eyes rolled back into her head and her entire body went limp. "Regina? Shit."

Emma tried not to panic as she glanced down at an unconscious Lily before gently placing Regina down a few feet away from her. She checked her pockets in a rush and pulled out her phone, kneeling beside Regina as she dialed an all too familiar number.

"David, hey, it's me," Emma said as soon as the call was picked up. "Before you ask any questions, it's me. I'm fine. We just need a little bit of help right now. Regina is hurt…"

"Where are you?"

Emma wasn't sure, but she gave him as thorough of a description of the area as she could before she hung up and took Regina's hand in her own. She tenderly ran her fingers over her forehead, assessing her injuries now that things had calmed down. She'd need stitches on the gash above her eyebrow and her face was fairly banged up, but the one thing she was more worried about than anything else was the fact that Lily had sucked up every last bit of magic inside of her.

She pulled Regina into her arms as she sat down heavily on the ground. She thought of the things Lily had said to her and how much she wanted to tell Regina that she was wrong. As confused as she had felt about the state of their relationship and her own feelings towards her, she knew now that she loved her. Beyond that, she wasn't sure she could figure that out right in that moment and knew she didn't have to. She didn't have to because there was only one thing that mattered.

Regina loved her too.

They'd figure the rest out when the timing was right.


	21. Chapter 21

The station was what Regina would've described as barely controlled chaos when she came to, her head pounding and almost every inch of her body in pain in one way or another. She hardly remembered the ride to the station, but she did ever so vaguely remember Emma holding on to her and barely letting go the whole way.

Now all she felt in the din that filled the small station was the sting of antiseptic being lightly dabbed to the cut just above her eyebrow by the steady hand of Ruby Lucas. Regina blinked through the tears that spring to her eyes as she had came to and found herself to be in Emma's office, seated in her desk chair with Ruby kneeling in front of her.

"Hey," Ruby said, offering a friendly smile as Regina sat up a little straighter in the desk chair. Ruby dabbed at the cut with the gauze once more before placing a few butterfly stitches over it to hold it together. "Good news, it's not as bad as it looks."

"It feels as bad as I'm sure it looks, dear."

"You should've gone to the hospital, but Em told us she didn't think that was such a great idea."

Regina sighed and brought her fingers up to her left cheek, tenderly running the tips over her swollen jaw. "Well, nothing is broken, so a trip to the hospital would've been a waste," she replied and noticed then that the blinds all around the office were closed. "Where is she?"

"She was dealing with that hell-bitch," Ruby replied as she wiped her hands and scooped up the garbage and bloody gauze off the top of the desk and dumped it into the small garbage. Upon Regina's look of concern, she stopped her from getting up from the desk chair. "Don't worry, the dwarves and the fairies worked together pretty quickly to secure one of the cells to hold her and the cuff is still on and effectively keeping her from doing any magic right now."

"And how long have I been—"

"Out?" Ruby asked and she glanced at the clock behind Regina. "Emma brought you in about an hour ago, give or take."

"An hour?"

"Give or take," Ruby repeated. "Been a long day, huh?"

"That is one way to describe it," Regina replied tiredly, feeling far more drained than she knew she should be. She tried not to let the fear show, especially not in front of Ruby, but she feared how her body would continue to react now that her magic was gone. Completely gone.

"Regina—"

"Emma is in the other cell, isn't she?" Regina asked without having to see for herself.

"How did you—"

"She killed that man."

Ruby frowned and when Regina went to stand up, she wasn't stopped that time. She felt woozy and unsteady on her feet, but she pressed on and opened the office door, the sounds of the shouting she'd heard when she woke up becoming clearer and louder. In the cell to her right was Lily, who was pacing by the cot and furiously pulling at the cuff on her wrist to no avail and in the cell to her left, Emma sat on the cot, her elbows on her knees and her head hung low with her hair falling over her face.

Snow White and David stood arguing at the desk closest to the cells while Leroy and several of the other dwarves tried to put their two-cents in as well.

Regina could hear a crown gathered outside as well and yet her focus was on Emma and she wanted nothing more than to open that cell door and take Emma into her arms and hold her. That option was off the table, clearly, but it didn't stop her from wanting just that. She was also in the middle of struggling with a new wave of anger towards the brunette in the other cell and she clenched her jaw, struggling to remain as calm as she appeared on the outside.

"Regina, you should be resting. You might have a concussion," Snow said once she'd turned to her mid-conversation with David and the dwarves. "We have a situation on our hands."

"It is blatantly obvious that we do," Regina snapped. "The question is what are we going to do about it?"

"That is what we're trying to figure out."

Upon Snow's insistent look, David ushered Leroy and the rest of the dwarves out into the hallway, leaving just the women there alone. Regina placed a hand on the desk just to her left, a sudden bout of dizziness hitting her. She wasn't used to feeling so weak and even during the first curse it had never felt quite like that. She knew during that first curse, for twenty-eight years, her magic wasn't gone but dormant. It was different now as her magic was very much gone completely and she could feel the emptiness in every last inch of her body.

She turned to look over at Ruby as she exited the office, her phone to her ear and talking quietly. Ruby motioned to Snow that she'd be right outside before she slipped out into the hallway. From the sounds of the crowd that was gathered outside, Regina figured that David was out there trying to do some crowd control, give the people answers they didn't really have themselves yet.

"Why is Emma locked up?"

"She put herself in there," Snow replied quietly. "She said she needed to be in there. We tried to convince her otherwise but she—" Snow said emotionally, choking up as she looked over at the blonde in the cell who was unmoving from where she sat. "Did she really kill him?"

"I tried to get through, there was a barrier in place," Regina said and her hands shook and her legs felt weak. She pulled out the chair and sat down behind the desk. "I was just too late."

"But why would she—"

"She was under a spell, being controlled by Lily and Gold. I'm unsure of how long she had been under their control, but I suspect it was ever since Lily made her presence known the morning after that tragic accident."

"And now?"

"I believe the control they had over her ended when she did what they needed her to do."

"When she killed that man," Snow whispered, her voice wavering slightly. "Why? Why him?"

"I do not know, he was nobody special, just the driver of that bus," she replied and she cast a glance over at Lily as she continued to pace and claw at the leather cuff on her wrist. "Gold is or already has cast a spell that will break the barrier around this town. It is imperative that we find him and if he has yet to cast it, we need to stop him."

"That's what this is all about? Breaking the barrier?"

"It's more than that," Lily said as she suddenly stopped pacing and grabbed onto the bars. "This world once knew magic, but as the centuries passed, it all but disappeared. Now this town is full of magic and it's just bursting at the seams. Breaking the barrier is going to do a lot more than to allow you people to come and go freely instead of being rats stuck in a cage."

"You're releasing magic to the rest of the world," Snow stated in understanding. "But why?"

"Why not?" Lily laughed and it was a sound that made Regina's skin crawl. "Do you honestly think that I would tell you everything? Hmm? You are all just pawns in the game, my game, his game."

Regina's mind was swimming with possibilities, theories of why they felt the need to release the dense supply of magic that was in Storybrooke to the rest of the world. The result could be catastrophic, but she also knew that releasing the magic that resided safely in their town may all but disperse before it could affect the rest of the world all around them. That was a chance she knew they were taking and it was a big one at that.

Snow shook her head and with just a look exchanged between her and Regina, they retreated to the office and shut the door to allow just a small semblance of privacy between the two of them. Regina leaned against the desk with an uncertainty she'd have much energy to stand if she sat back down again and Snow opened the blinds, staring out at both women locked up before turning her attention towards Regina.

"Who is she, Regina?"

"Pure evil."

"But—"

"A more accurate term people in this world would use would be the devil," Regina reply lowly and if they weren't in that current situation, she would've laughed at the ridiculousness of it. "She possesses power far greater than anything I have ever seen. I do not understand the lore that revolves around what she is, but I believe she has lain dormant for many years until Gold reached out to her and brought her here."

"Why would he bring her here?"

"The barrier, Snow, why else? We are dealing with a man who has clearly lost his mind. What he is doing doesn't have to make any sense because it makes complete sense to him."

Snow sighed tiredly. "I think you need to explain everything to me right now because none of this is making any sense, Regina."

"It started the morning after the tragedy…"

[X]

It was just past midnight when Regina returned to the station. After she had told Snow the finer details of their current situation, they had to do some damage control with the large crowd that had gathered just outside the station. The people of Storybrooke had somehow found out that their very own Sheriff and Savior had killed that man and were demanding answers and placing blame, pointing fingers, some of which were pointed at Regina herself.

She had returned home to rest after refusing to be taken to the hospital to further treat her injuries. She had also refused protection and the only ones who were fully aware that Lily had taken every last ounce of her magic was the Charming's and Ruby Lucas. They all agreed that it was best that absolutely no one else found out for the time being.

She had been unable to settle long after she'd returned home and it wasn't because of her obvious injuries, it was because of her concern revolving around Emma being locked up in the cell next to Lily. The woman was already broken and there was no telling what the other brunette would try to do, the things she would put into Emma's head once they were left alone in the station.

"What are you doing here?" Leroy asked once she'd let herself into the back door and found him seated in a chair in the hallway. "Regina? You shouldn't be here."

"Neither should Emma."

"She killed a man," Leroy replied. "She should be in there according to the law."

"I don't give a damn about the law, dwarf," Regina snapped angrily. "She is in a cell beside that evil, vile woman. They are alone. True, that woman has been rendered powerless for now, but words can be just as powerful as magic."

"And you're what? Afraid of what—"

"I'm afraid of what that woman will say to her to further break her already broken soul," Regina muttered and Leroy tilted his head curiously before letting out a quiet chuckle. "What?"

"Even if I let you have the keys to the cell, Emma won't leave, Regina. She believes she belongs in there and she does."

"She killed that man under the influence of a spell!"

"Hey, I ain't the law here. I'm just on night guard duty!" Leroy said as he held his hands up before deftly crossing them over his chest. "I can give you the keys, but she ain't leaving. We both know that now, don't we?"

Regina sighed tiredly and turned on her heels, walking down the hallway quickly. She heard nothing as she turned the corner into the nearly dark room, the only light coming from the full moon that shone in the windows. She walked over to the desk near Emma's office and turned on the desk light, bathing the room in a soft glow that allowed her just enough light to see into the cells where she found both women on the cots and seemingly fast asleep.

She stared at the brunette woman, unable to see her face as she lay on her side facing the wall. She was uncertain if she was sleeping or not, but knew that the only thing she could do was spout words that meant nothing. Emma was on her back, her eyes closed, but her face was far from being as relaxed as it should've been in a perpetual state of sleep.

Regina knew what taking a life felt like, she'd done it more times in the past than she cared to think of, and she knew what it felt like to shed blood on her hands even if she'd never had the blood of her victims on her own hands, it was still the same feeling. Guilt. Despair. A crush of power that felt far more addictive than the darkest, most powerful magic to ever feel and taste inside one's own body. For someone like Emma, dealing with the fact she had taken a dagger to a man's throat and slit it open without even a blink of an eye, the ramifications would be dire and there was no telling just how in the days to come she would react and behave.

Regina stepped towards Emma's cell, frowning as she raised her hands and wrapped them around the cool iron bars. She sighed quietly, her eyes not leaving Emma's restless, sleeping face. Things had been so very complicated between them as of late, even before the tragic accident. It was hard for her to believe it had only been just shy of two and a half weeks since that night things had gone so very far between them, a night that Emma had forgotten due to the amount of alcohol she had consumed.

Like she had thought of many times since that night, she wondered if anything would've been different if Emma had remembered what happened between them. Would she have pushed her away as she'd done or would they have started to explore a relationship of a loving nature with one another? Regina knew how she felt about Emma and was quick to not deny her feelings, especially around her, but Emma had been struggling and she was more than certain she still was. The timing now, however, was all wrong and she knew the last thing she needed to do was to further complicate things between them.

Emma needed her, but not in that way. Emma needed her to get through what she had done. Emma needed her there for support, for strength. She wouldn't be able to do this alone.

Regina trailed her fingers over the cool iron bars, her eyes not leaving Emma as her thoughts barreled through her mind endlessly. She needed to focus on the current situation and she was focused, but when it came to Emma, it always sent her thoughts in the direction of where they now stood, where their relationship had evolved to and where they went from there. She was in love with her and it hurt, it hurt is so many different ways, but it hurt mostly because she had thought that things could've been far less complicated when she landed in her bed with the intoxicating beautiful blonde Savior.

Her fingers wrapped around the bars tightly as she stole a glance over at Lily in the other cell. Her back was still turned to her and the way her torso raised and fell in a steady pace indicated that she was at least sleeping. With a small sigh, Regina turned her gaze back to Emma, her eyes widening in surprise when she saw Emma sit up slowly, her eyes catching hers over the short distance that was between them.

"What are you doing here, Regina?" Emma whispered as she got off the cot and moved to stand in front of her on the other side of the bars. "Regina?"

"I came to get you out of here."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," she sighed sadly. "I don't trust her," she said without having to look over at the other woman. "She cannot get to you with magic, Emma, but she can with her words."

"She tried to earlier. I shut her out."

"Good."

Emma cast her eyes down to the floor as she wrapped her arms around herself. "Did you really think I'd let you take me out of here? I belong in here, Regina. I killed a man."

"While under a sp—"

"It doesn't matter, _I_ still killed him."

Regina frowned, watching a host of different emotions flicker in Emma's eyes and just for a moment she held her breath, wondering if she'd see the signs of the dark magic she had no doubt still resided inside of her, but when she saw nothing but the tears that slowly began to fill her downward cast eyes, she reached through the bars for Emma's hands and held on tight.

"Emma, I'm here for you. I just want you to know that."

"You are?"

"Of course," she said softly, offering a small smile when Emma's gaze finally met her own once again. "I'm here for you. Whatever you need, even if just to talk, I'll be here to listen, okay?"

"Why?" Emma asked as she pulled her hands free. "Because you know exactly what I'm going through right now?"

"Emma—"

"Don't," Emma snapped, still keeping her voice low. "Just don't, Regina. Not now."

Regina nodded, but didn't step away from the bars. "I understand," she said after a moment when Emma said nothing, her gaze faltering as she struggled to hold back her tears. "I just wanted you to know that I am here for you. I want you to remember that."

"I will," Emma said with a small nod and Regina reached out for her again, one hand taking one of Emma's while the other slowly moved to cup her cheek. "I don't deserve this."

"You don't deserve what?"

"Having you care enough to want to be here for me after what I've done."

Regina wanted to point out that they were not so different after all, but she kept her mouth shut, knowing now was not the time to get into a heated discussion or a heart-to-heart. She let her hand fall away and she gripped one of the bars, unmoving from the spot.

"Why?" Emma asked, pausing to glance down at their still joined hands as she easily intertwined her fingers with Regina's. "Why do you care about me so much, Regina?"

"Do I need to tell you when you already know?"

Emma didn't look up at her. Regina just gave her hand a gentle squeeze before reaching between the bars to place her fingers under Emma's chin and she lifted her face up until their eyes met once again. She watched Emma wet her lips before she moved as close to her as the bars would allow, Emma mirroring her until their lips were mere inches apart.

"Please let me take you out of here," Regina whispered and she groaned when Emma suddenly let go of her hand and reeled back. "Emma, please?"

"You can't."

"Please?"

"No," Emma said with a sharp shake of her head. "I can't. I belong here. I killed him."

"Emma—"

"I belong in here," she said lowly as the tears fell, one after another. "I'm where I deserve to be."

Regina shook her head and she was about to try again to convince Emma otherwise, but she stopped when she heard a soft creak coming from the other cell. She turned just as Lily rose from the cot, a salacious yet evil grin curling over her lips as she stalked towards the bars that separated one cell from the other.

"You heard her," Lily said as she stared straight at Regina and grasped onto two bars tightly. "She is where she deserves to be. Can't say the same for you now can we?"

"Why don't you mind your own business?" Regina snapped. "Why I am here is none of your concern."

"I know why you're here," Lily chuckled as she glanced at Emma with nothing but pure lust in her brown eyes. "Didn't you get the memo earlier, Regina? Emma doesn't want you. She won't even leave that cell for you. She is exactly where she deserves to be whether you like it or not."

"Psst, Regina," Leroy said with a slight whistle from behind her. "Step to the left."

The moment she stepped to the left, a tranquilizer dart whizzed past her and sunk deep into Lily's left shoulder. She watched Lily yank the dart out of her shoulder as she stumbled backwards and hit the wall, moaning incoherently as she slid to the floor in a heap.

Regina barely blinked when she heard the hiss of a second dart escape the gun and with wide eyes she watched as it sunk into Emma's right thigh. She gasped as Emma fell down to the floor, just missing the cot by mere inches and time seemed to tick by twice as slow as it had before. She blinked through the tears that filled her eyes as David rushed towards the cell with the keys in hand and two other men followed him inside that Regina didn't recognize. They picked Emma's limp body up and carried her out while Leroy pulled Regina aside.

"She's not safe here. We're going to take here someplace she will be, whether she wants it or not."


	22. Chapter 22

Emma groaned as she tried to blink open her heavy-lidded eyes. She felt groggy, her body still numb and languid. She groaned again as she shifted slightly, feeling the soft mattress beneath her and the cold bite of steel around each wrist. Panic rose in her suddenly as she tugged and pulled and fought against her restraints to no avail.

"It's better if you don't fight it, Em."

Emma shot her head to the right to see Ruby seated in a chair strategically placed about five feet from the bed she was confined to. She tugged against the restraint of the handcuffs once more before allowing her arms to fall limp. The past handful of days—weeks if she were honest with herself—felt like she was living in a blackout of sorts. It was disorienting and concerning, but the panic of her current situation sent her into overdrive and she started resisting against the two sets of handcuffs that had her restrained to the bed completely.

"Em—"

"What the hell?" Emma asked as she tugged hard against the cuffs. "Where am I?"

"Somewhere safe."

"Why the hell am I not at the station and locked up?"

"Because _she_ is there," Ruby replied quietly. "It was decided that it was better if you weren't—"

"Who decided?"

"Your parents."

Emma grunted, tugging again against the cuffs for a few seconds before giving up. She took a moment just to absorb her surroundings and tried to calm down. She didn't recognize the room she was in, but she recognized the décor and the faint yet distinct scent of the perfume Regina normally wore lingering in the air. The "somewhere safe" was Regina's guest bedroom. She was struggling to understand why she was even there when there were plenty of other places that would be considered a safe place outside of the cell she'd locked herself in.

The black drapes were drawn shut over the window and the only light came from the bedside lamp. There was no clock in the room and no way of telling how long she'd been in there. She glanced over at Ruby, who was sitting in the chair and now flipping through a magazine, not at all concerned over the fact that Emma was on the very verge of freaking out once again.

Emma could feel her magic fizzling, shorting out, the effects of the tranquilizer preventing her from having just a small semblance of control over it. She had a feeling that whether she could control her magic or not, she was not getting out of the cuffs anytime soon. When she focused her energy on the cuffs themselves, she could feel a buzzing warmth emanating from them and there was no doubt in her mind that a spell had been cast upon them to prevent her from using her own magic to escape.

"Why am I here?"

"Because this is the only place in Storybrooke that can protect you."

"From what?"

"Yourself. Them."

Emma sighed as she shifted on the bed in an attempt to get comfortable, but with her arms positioned the way they were, it was nearly impossible to move. She knew that long ago Regina had cast a fairly unbreakable protection spell on her house and she couldn't recall if it had ever been removed. She knew it hadn't though, if she was there now, being held against her own will, handcuffed to the bed in the guest bedroom with Ruby keeping watch.

Emma wasn't sure why Ruby was even there, but she suspected it had to do with the fact that Regina had been hurt by Lily, multiple times, and she remembered just how bruised her face was when she'd came to the station in the middle of the night. She even remembered how for a moment she thought that Regina was going to kiss her with the way she had ever so softly cupped her cheek and held tight on to her hand. She would've let her, even if it just lingered for a second. She would've kissed her back despite it all and all because she wanted to.

Lily was wrong on all counts. She did want Regina, she knew that now, but everything was just so very complicated, even more so than it had been before that they were further away from figuring things out between them than they had been before.

A soft knock on the door pulled Emma from her thoughts and she watched Ruby rise from the chair slowly and pulled the door open just a crack. There were whispered voices, the words hard to make out from where she lay cuffed to the headboard, but she knew the one on the other side of the door was none other than Regina. She tugged hard on the cuffs and groaned as the metal bit harder into her skin. Ruby just looked back at her with a slight frown before she slipped out of the room, leaving her all alone.

Emma slammed her eyes shut tightly, the tears sliding free. She tugged on the cuffs again, the pain searing through her wrists, her arms, and slowly through the rest of her body. As the pain subsided, her hands felt warm, wet, sticky and her eyes flew open as she twisted to look up at her hands. She blinked through the tears and in the dimness of the room she could see the dark red blood coating her hands, she could feel the warmth of it as it trickled down over her wrists slowly.

"No," Emma moaned as she pulled at the cuffs again, harder. "No, it's not real. It's not real."

She pulled until she felt her raw wrists start to throb harder as the pain became too much. She didn't stop, her body in a state of panic and fear as she tried to get herself free. Her heart was racing, thundering in her chest and she screamed out into the quiet of the room.

She was better off left locked up in that cell.

She was better off anywhere else but there.

She was better off under that spell when she couldn't feel all the pain and the weight of the world crushing down on her…

[X]

Regina's heart broke with every scream she heard coming from the guest room, but she couldn't bring herself to go upstairs, to see if there was some way to calm Emma down, to sooth her soul, to tell her that everything would be all right. She clutched at her cup of tea sitting on her desk in front of her while Ruby paced the floor in the study.

It had been twelve hours since Leroy had shot Emma with the tranquilizer dart and they had brought her there, a decision made by the Charming's and one that Regina wasn't exactly thrilled with, but she had wanted Emma out of the cell and away from Lily and bringing her there gave her just that. Yet, at the screams echoed through the house, she wondered if they'd truly made the right decision in bringing Emma there.

"When is Snow supposed to be coming around?" Ruby asked, looking nervous as she wrung her hands together. "I don't know how much longer I can hear her scream like that. What's wrong with her, Regina?"

"She killed a man," Regina said quietly and stared down at her teacup, idly tracing her finger over the gold detailing around the rim. "I imagine she is only beginning to feel the weight of that."

"Shouldn't we—"

"We should leave her be, for now," Regina said, not lifting her eyes away from her cup. "You and I both know what she is going through right now, dear. We've both spilt blood with our own hands. We've both gone through that darkness."

"But she shouldn't have to go through this alone."

Regina sighed. "No, she shouldn't and she is not, but for right now—"

Another scream cut her off and this time it was far more alarming than the others had been. She nearly spilt her tea as she stood up quickly and planted both palms against the soft, smooth wood and she inhaled deeply. She was fighting that urge to run up to the room to Emma, but she was losing that fight with every scream and cry that came from that room.

"Regina, we can't just leave her up there alone."

"Ruby—"

"She's in pain," Ruby yelled at her, tears filling her eyes and spilling over quickly. "Can't you hear how much pain she is in, Regina?"

_I can feel how much pain she's in_, Regina thought as a lump rose in her throat steadily. She just couldn't stand it anymore, staying away. Emma needed her. She cast a glance at Ruby that told her without words not to follow and she hurried out of the study and up the winding staircase. As she neared the closed door to the guest room, the sound of Emma crying had a chill run through her body and her heart aching more.

Her hand hovered over the doorknob as she fought her own tears. She knew what Emma was going through and she didn't all at the same time. Everyone who had taken a life, or two, or dozens, all went through the various stages, the guilt and the darkness that settled in deep being the worst of it all. Yet, she had no idea what was causing Emma's screams or her to cry, but she only imagined that she might be experiencing a round of hallucinations that were haunting her.

Nothing could've prepared her for the sight before her once she opened the door. Emma was struggling against the cuffs, both wrists raw and bleeding, the muscles in her arms and neck straining as she screamed out again and fell limply against the bed.

"Oh, Emma…"

Regina gently shut the door behind her, knowing that the blonde was unaware of her very presence in the room. She walked over to the tall dresser and opened the first drawer, pulling out the set of keys for the handcuffs before she shut it slowly. She gripped the small keys in her hand tightly as she turned to look at Emma who was now staring straight at her with darkened eyes.

Regina curled her fist tighter around the keys, knowing she was now treading on dangerous ground with a very emotionally unstable woman just a few feet away from her. She was worried, more so than she had been before, and now seeing that Emma had actually hurt herself trying to get free of the cuffs made the gravity of the situation that much worse.

She was uncertain of what would happen if she were to release Emma from the handcuffs that had been magically reinforced to not only be unbreakable, but to render the wearer's magic useless. Once she was free, she'd be able to easily use her magic and that was dangerous in itself, especially with the state that she was in currently.

"Emma?"

"What?" She growled, her voice low and dark. "Why am I here?"

"You're safer here."

"Am I really?"

Regina swallowed thickly and curled her fist tighter. She could feel the keys biting into her skin, but that pain was nothing compared to the pain that Emma was currently in. She wanted to release her from the cuffs and tend to her self-inflicted wounds. She wanted to hold her, to whisper into her ear that everything will be all right, but she knew that couldn't happen, not with the dangerous glint in Emma's green eyes.

She took a few tentative steps towards the bed, her eyes locked with Emma's with every step. She said not a word as she removed the handcuff from Emma's left wrist first and stepped back, pocketing the keys before she gently held Emma's wrist in her hand.

"Emma," she sighed. "I need to clean this before it gets infected."

"Okay. Can you unlock the other hand, Regina? My shoulder is really sore."

Regina wet her lips and shook her head no. She pressed her lips together tightly before she headed for the bedroom door. She glanced back at Emma once more before retreating out into the hallway and down to the bathroom to get the first aid kit from the vanity drawer. She was grateful that Ruby hadn't come upstairs and that Snow wasn't there yet. She didn't want to deal with them while dealing with Emma.

Upon her return to the guest room, Emma hadn't moved at all and the dangerous glint in her eyes had softened but hadn't disappeared completely. She moved to sit on the bed on Emma's left side and placed the small kit by Emma's thigh. She set to work at gently cleaning the raw skin, applying antiseptic gently before wrapping her wrist in gauze.

Regina inhaled sharply when Emma lifted her hand to lightly trace her fingertips over the dark bruises on her cheek. Emma frowned as she dropped her hand and placed it over Regina's that had settled on the bed in the small space between them.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, dear," she replied tightly and pulled her hand away. She didn't want to place her back in the handcuffs, not after seeing what she'd done to herself, but she felt as if she had no other choice. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she lift Emma's hand to place it back in the handcuff that was secured to the headboard.

"Can you not just yet? My shoulders really hurt, Regina."

The tremble was clear in Emma's voice and it made Regina release her arm slowly. She exhaled sharply as she leaned over Emma slightly and pulled out the keys from her pocket and released her right hand from the handcuff. Emma was still as she repeated the same process in cleaning her raw skin around her wrist as she had with the other.

"Thank you."

Regina smiled and gathered up the garbage from the bed quickly. "Can I get you anything? Some water? Something to eat, perhaps?"

"I'm fine," Emma replied. "I'm just tired."

"I can let you rest a while, if that's what you want."

"Okay."

"You know I have to—"

"Cuff me again?" Emma asked and she frowned as she ran her fingers over the gauze covering both wrists. "Do you have to?"

"I do."

"Why?" Emma frowned deeper and fidgeted with the gauze on her left wrist. "I'm not going to go anywhere, Regina."

She wished she could believe her, but with the darkness showing clearly in her eyes, Regina didn't believe her for a second. It was the sound of the doorbell chiming throughout the house that stole her attention away and in that split second, it was all that it took for Emma to disappear in a swirl of slate grey smoke, very different than it had been before.

Regina groaned in frustration as she ran her hands through her hair and stormed out of the guest bedroom. The chime of the doorbell sounded again and she growled as she hurried down the hallway to the stairs. She opened the door before the doorbell went off once again and let a perplexed and worried looking Snow White inside.

"We have a problem," Regina said quietly. "Emma is gone."

[X]

Emma shook as she found herself in Henry's bedroom in her apartment, his things exactly the way he'd left them just days before. It felt strange to be in his room and knowing that he'd never come home, never sleep in his bed, never touch the things that were scattered about. She swallowed the lump that rose in her throat as she walked over to the bed and sat down, the sheets still a mess.

She looked down on the floor at the spot she had found Henry in the middle of the night, struggling to breathe and scared out of his mind because he couldn't. The panic she'd felt that night came back in a rush and she grabbed his pillow and clutched it to her chest tightly. Tears welled up in her eyes but did not fall as she inhaled deeply, smelling the shampoo he'd used to use clinging to the soft pillowcase.

It hadn't felt as real as it did until that very moment. It hadn't felt real hearing the doctor telling her and Regina that their son was dead. It hadn't felt real when they buried him at the cemetery, but it felt real as the emptiness settled in inside of her completely. She let go of the pillow, placed it back down on the bed, and glanced down at her gauze-covered wrists with a frown.

How had she lost control of herself? How could she have let the darkness inside her rise up and take over her completely? Henry would've told her she could fight it, that she was stronger than the dark magic that now resided inside of her. Henry would've told her that she didn't have to let the darkness take over her because of the all the light inside of her and the goodness of her heart that was more than strong enough to overcome it.

Her heart wasn't good and pure, not anymore. She could almost feel the change within her and the dark mark left behind on her heart that appeared the moment she had taken that man's life. She shuddered and she closed her eyes, the tears burning yet still not falling, and that very moment she'd pressed the sharp dagger into the skin of his throat replayed over and over in her mind. She could feel the warm, stickiness of blood coating her hand, dripping from her fingertips. She was almost too afraid to open her eyes, fearing she would see her hand covered in his blood once again, yet as she blinked through the tears that now started to fall, she glanced down at both her hands and saw that they were washed clean as they'd been all along.

She rose from the bed and stumbled away, her vision swaying as she reached out to steady herself, her palms finding the wall just before the open door. Emma knew this wasn't who she was, but after the last couple of days she didn't even know herself anymore. She was dangerous, to herself and to others. She was unstable, emotionally and with the magic that resided inside of her. She was lost, scared, and alone. Broken.

[X]

"Gone? What do you mean gone?" Snow asked in a rush. "Wasn't she secured? Blue cast the spell on those handcuffs herself! There is no way that Emma is gone! It's not possible!"

Regina sighed as she shook her head. "It was a mistake I made," she said quietly. "Emma had been trying to—she injured herself trying to break free. I went to tend to her wounds and I couldn't do that unless I released her."

"You released her?" Snow asked incredulously and she stormed through the foyer only to be stopped by Ruby before she could get any further. "Do you realize what you've done, Regina?"

"I'm well aware."

"She could be anywhere!"

"We'll find her," Ruby said calmly as she held on to Snow's shoulders tightly. "We'll find her before anything else happens, Snow."

"You don't know that," Snow yelled and she pushed Ruby away from her. "We don't even know if the barrier around town has been broken or not. If it is, she could disappear completely and we may just never find her again!"

"We will," Ruby insisted. "I'm going to call David, make sure that Lily is still locked up and let him know what happened. We'll go look for her right away, gather a group to search through town to find her and—"

"That won't be necessary," Emma said as she stood by the open front door. Regina spun around to face her and she trembled slightly at the broken look in Emma's eyes. "I shouldn't have left."

"Emma!" Snow exclaimed as she ran towards her and flung her arms around her tightly. "Where did you go?"

"Home."

"Are you okay?"

"No," Emma said with a small shake of her head. "I'm not okay."

She looked past her mother and at Regina before she pushed herself away. Regina didn't need to hear her say the words, she just knew and she reached for Emma's hand and led the way up the stairs slowly. When they were back in the room and Regina shut the door behind her, she watched Emma sit down on the edge of the bed.

"Emma—"

"It's real, isn't it?" Emma asked quietly and Regina stepped forwards towards her. "Henry's really gone, isn't he?"

"Emma—"

"He's gone," she murmured as Regina sat down beside her. "He's gone and I—I killed that man. What have I done, Regina? What have I done?"

Regina did the only thing she could do in that very moment. She wrapped her arms around Emma and held her tight. She wasn't going to whisper words that were useless, she wasn't going to tell her that everything will be all right, because they were a long way from that point.

But they'd get there. Together.


	23. Chapter 23

Two days had passed since Emma had disappeared and returned. Despite her disappearing act, Regina didn't cuff her back to the bed and for that Emma had been grateful. Her wrists were healing slowly and she was able to forego having them wrapped in gauze since she had a shower earlier that morning. She had stayed in the bedroom for the last two days, only leaving to use the bathroom or to eat her meals with Regina in the kitchen. Neither had said a word since her return and the silence was absolutely deafening.

The news about Gold failing to break the spell to remove the barrier around town came just the night before. She overheard the conversation between her mother and Regina, feeling just a little bit relieved that he had failed and that David had managed to track him down. Gold was taken to the hospital and placed in one of the padded cells in the basement until they would figure out just what they were going to do with the man who had clearly lost his sanity long ago.

Things weren't in the clear just yet, not when Lily was still locked up at the station, her power rendered useless by the leather cuff that was on her wrist and the spell that was cast around the cell itself. Emma had no idea what was going to happen to her and even knowing who she was, what she was, she still worried about her just a little. There was no telling just what the other woman was truly capable of, but she knew that she was far more dangerous than anyone thought her to be.

Emma felt like she had failed herself not knowing Lily's true identity. She felt as if she had just known, things could've been so much different. Maybe Henry would still be alive. Maybe she wouldn't have fallen into the darkness that Lily had given to her. Maybe she wouldn't have lost herself the way she did after his funeral when Regina had kissed her.

The time she spent alone and in silence had given her time with her thoughts and time to sort through all the mixed emotions she'd been dealing with in the last couple of weeks. She was so far from figuring things out, but she was unwilling to talk about it with anyone just yet. The night before had been rough and full of nightmares, yet she grit through the exhaustion for the better part of the day, fighting the yawns that dared escape during a quick lunch with Regina before she'd retreated back to the guest bedroom.

She was lying in bed and staring up at the ceiling, the drapes drawn shut to keep out the afternoon sun. She could hear soft footsteps padding down the hallway and she turned to look at the door just as a knock resounded followed by another before the door opened slowly.

Regina entered the room without a word and Emma saw she carried a bottle of water in one hand and held a plate of freshly baked cookies in the other. Regina offered her a small, friendly smile as she approached the bed and placed the plate on the bedside table and handed Emma the bottle of water. Emma sat up slowly and inhaled sharply. She thought she could smell cookies baking a short time before and her stomach now growled, hungry for the warm chocolate chip cookies just a short reach away.

"What's this for?"

"I was in the mood to bake," Regina replied. "I thought you'd like something to tie you over until dinner time."

"Thanks," Emma smiled tightly. "They smell delicious."

"And they taste delicious too," Regina said and she picked on up off the plate and took a bite, moaning quietly as she chewed and then swallowed. Emma licked over her lips and followed suit, biting into the still warm cookie. "Was I right?"

"Yes," Emma said with her mouth full. "They are delicious."

Emma took a moment just to look at Regina, her eyes lingering over the dark bruises on her face that had only just begun to fade a little. Because they hadn't spoken much at all, they hadn't talked about what happened that day, but Emma knew that it was an inevitable conversation and one she truly hoped wasn't going to happen just yet. She wasn't ready to talk about that day or the fact that she had killed that man.

Just as she knew that Regina wasn't ready to talk about the fact that her magic was gone and it was clear that not even a tiny speck of it had returned. In the few times she'd dared look into Regina's brown eyes, she saw that panic she had tried to hide regarding the loss of her magic. Emma had always known Regina to be rather well in control of her emotions, even in the most trying of times, but this was surprising because she knew that Regina's magic wasn't just something that was inside of her, it was a big part of her heart and her soul.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come downstairs and help me prepare dinner today?"

"Is this your way of getting me out of the room for longer than twenty minutes at a time?"

"And if it is?" Regina asked, eyeing the plate of warm cookies but not picking up a second one to eat while Emma did. "Will you come downstairs and help, Emma?"

"What are we making?" Emma asked through a mouthful of the half a cookie she'd bitten off.

"I'm going to teach you how to make lasagna."

"Seriously?" Emma asked, her eyes lighting up. "But that's like your best kept secret, Regina!"

"It is only lasagna, dear. It's hardly my best kept secret."

Emma managed a small smile before she got out of bed. She stretched out languidly, completely aware of Regina's eyes on her as she did. She snatched one more cookie from the plate and led the way out of the bedroom, her eyes protesting against the afternoon sunlight the moment she stepped out into the hallway.

The house was quiet as they headed down to the kitchen together, Regina falling in step behind her. Once they were in the kitchen, Emma noticed that everything they'd need to prepare the dish had already been laid out on the counter and two glasses of wine sat on top of the counter, the bottle of merlot open and breathing, ready to be poured and drank.

The inevitable talk was lingering, Emma could almost taste it as she watched Regina pull on a simple white apron before moving to pour them each a glass of wine. Emma looked at the ingredients that were meticulously laid out and just as she was about to reach into the bowl of what she knew was homemade sauce, Regina slapped her hand away and handed her a glass of wine with a shake of her head.

"You need to wash up before we begin and there will be no sampling of any kind," Regina said firmly and pointed to the sink.

"Okay, okay!" Emma groaned. She took a sip of her wine before moving to stand in front of the sink, promptly washing her hands under Regina's watchful eye. "Do I have to wear an apron too?"

"Do you want to?"

"No."

"Then there is your answer, dear," Regina replied with a subtle roll of her eyes. "This shouldn't take too long. It's a fairly simple recipe."

"I couldn't even make that chicken casserole that Henry brought over once. I burnt it. Badly."

"I wondered where that recipe card disappeared to," Regina said quietly, almost sadly as she braced her hands against the edge of the counter. "Do you by any chance still have it?"

"I think so?" Emma shrugged. "I could head home later and look for it if you want?"

"No, it's quite all right. You can return it another time. Now, it is crucial that we follow the steps precisely or the filling will not properly cook. Grab the bottle of olive oil—"

"For what?"

"To lightly grease the dish, of course," Regina replied with a slight snip in her voice.

Emma sighed. However long it was going to take for Regina to teach her how to make her infamous lasagna, she knew it was going to be full of snide comments, eye rolls, and her doing something wrong in every way that annoyed Regina to no end.

Much to her own surprise, in less than fifteen minutes they had the dish prepared and in the oven and had retreated to the study to have their second glass of wine while they waited for the lasagna to cook. Emma sipped her merlot and settled down on the sofa, her thoughts trailing back to years before when Henry had first brought her to Storybrooke and that first drink she and Regina had together. It felt like a lifetime ago and as far as she was concerned, it might as well have been.

So much had changed and they had come so far, together and on their own. The Regina she knew now was completely different than the woman she had met five years ago. She knew that in just the last few weeks, more so the last couple of days, they had both forgotten just how far they had come together and alone, and how they needed to get back to where they'd been before whether it was before Henry's sudden and unexpected death or before that night they landed in Regina's bed together.

She would give anything just to go back to even just a week ago when the only thing she had to worry about was the complications in her relationship with Regina and nothing more. She would give anything to go back, to even the morning Lily wormed her way back into her life and turned it upside down in every possible way that she could, starting with that first kiss in the hospital.

"I think we need to talk about what happened," Regina said and Emma looked at her with wide eyes as they both turned to face each other. "With Gold and Lily," she clarified. "Not with—"

"Us," Emma finished and she nodded slowly in understanding. "Honestly, Regina, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about what happened the other day."

"I understand that, but I also know that this is something you cannot avoid."

"I know," she frowned and turned her eyes down to the wine glass she held in both hands. "I wasn't myself. I—I mean, I was aware of what was happening, but I—I couldn't control what was happening, you know?"

"It was the spell you were put under, presumably by Lily or perhaps even Gold."

"I didn't see him until after."

"After when?"

"After I—we kissed that morning and everything fell apart."

Emma thought back to that initial conversation she'd had with Gold, how he pretended not to know a thing about the bus crossing the town line when he was behind it the entire time. Anger flared inside of her and she sipped her wine, inhaling slowly to try and remain calm. Gold knew all along and he had manipulated her because he needed her to kill that man and for what? His plan to break the barrier had failed and he was locked up, whatever else he had planned would no longer take place, unless he had an alternate plan in place.

"I know that you and Lily were…sleeping together for only a handful of days after the accident," Regina said tightly and Emma felt a slight blush creep over her cheeks. "Did you notice anything peculiar happening when you two were—"

"No, no I didn't, aside from the fact that when I was—that I felt nothing with her, there was nothing else that was peculiar or anything like that."

"She took my magic, all of it with a kiss," Regina said and she shook her head, the dazed look in her eyes fading as fast as it had appeared. "I suspect she did the same to you only she gave you the dark magic that now resides inside of you."

"She said she did it so that I wouldn't notice," Emma replied as she remembered the things that Lily had said. "God, how could I have been so stupid? I should've never let her back in my life like that, not when we—not when I wanted—"

"We all make mistakes, but when it comes to Lily, it couldn't have been helped, Emma. She is a very powerful being and seduction is a part of who she is. Even if you tried to resist her from the start, it wouldn't have worked."

"What is she?" Emma asked, her voice trembling because she knew she already knew just what Lily was without having to hear it. "Regina, what is she?"

"The devil itself," she replied and Emma closed her eyes as chills ran up her spine. "Most of what we know, it's just lore, but all lore and fairytales stem from a product of truth."

"But when I met her, she was just a girl."

"The devil spawns itself over and over for a millennia, it can appear in any shape and form, which has led me to believe that that is why many people stopped believing it was real all along."

"But she—before, when I knew her, she wasn't—I just don't understand, Regina. How could she be what you say she is when—"

"She would've been powerless for a very long time. Perhaps, bringing magic back to this world changed the way her powers had lain dormant for quite some time. Gold may have summoned her to our town, but I believe in some shape or form, she manipulated him to get her here. It is one of those things we may never get a clear answer on, unfortunately, not with Gold having lost the last thread of his sanity. We could speak with her, but as good as a seductress as she is, she is even better at spinning nothing but lies to benefit herself."

Regina paused, wet her lips before she reached out for Emma's hand, and gently intertwined their fingers. "Emma, I know you feel so many different things right now regarding what had happened, but you need to know that it wasn't you who killed that man. It may have been by your hand, but not of your free will."

"Do you think that's why when Gold tried to cast that spell and it didn't work, because it wasn't done by my own free will?"

"Perhaps," Regina said with a small nod. "Emma, I want you to talk to me about how you are feeling regarding all of this. I want to help you get through this. You needn't do this alone."

Emma smiled gratefully at her, feeling the weight behind her words surround her completely. She gave Regina's hand a gentle squeeze and moved to let go, but Regina wouldn't allow her to pull away just yet. She allowed Regina a moment and she found herself indulging in the feel of Regina's hand firmly in her own, the softness of her skin and the warmth that she felt radiating from her.

"Sometimes I don't know what I'm feeling," Emma admitted quietly. "I feel all these different emotions and my mind, it doesn't just focus on one thing."

"What have you been thinking of lately?"

"Everything that has happened in the last couple of weeks."

"I see," Regina said and she let go of Emma's hand lightly. "Anything in particular that your mind seems to center around?"

"You," she admitted easily. "I was so confused before, but I—"

"But you are not confused any longer?"

Emma wet her lips and shook her head no. "I know how I feel about you, about us."

"But?"

"But everything is just a mess right now, Regina," Emma said with a frown. "If only I could've figured this out like a week ago, huh?"

"We have time. No need to rush things, of course."

"You would still want to…be with me after what happened?"

"Emma, we are not that different you and I—"

"Not just with that," Emma said in a rush. "I meant Lily and the fact that I—"

"Was seduced into bed by her?" Regina asked, her tone tight and bitter. "It wasn't as if you and I were together. Why should it bother me or make me not want to be with you?"

"But we were almost there, Regina. We were getting there. We were so close, it was just me holding back because I was scared."

"Why were you scared?"

"Because I've never felt this way about anyone before," Emma whispered and she looked down in surprise to find their hands had joined again and she'd barely noticed until that moment. "I still don't remember that night, Regina."

She saw something in Regina's eyes then, something she didn't recognize, but before she could dwell on it, her attention shifted to Regina's lips, mesmerized by the way she slowly ran her tongue over her bottom lip.

"I may be able to help you with that," Regina said and Emma blinked. "Don't look so surprised, dear. It is but a simple potion. I needn't any magic to conjure it. If you want to remember what your mind had forgotten and blocked from you, there is a simple potion that can aid you. If you want, that is."

"How would it work?"

"It'll come in a dream," Regina replied and she lifted her glass of wine to her lips and took a small sip. "Or even in a rush of memories, I'm uncertain as it works differently every time."

"Maybe now isn't a good time for that," Emma said with a slight frown. "I'm not—I'm not okay, Regina. I'm so far from being okay."

"I know."

"I want this to be over," she said with a slight tremble in her voice. "I want that ache to go away."

"What ache, Emma?"

"The one I feel in my heart."

"Tell me how it feels."

"Empty. Cold."

Regina nodded and she leaned forward, placing a soft yet tentative kiss on Emma's lips. "And now?" She asked in a hushed whisper, her breath spilling over Emma's slightly parted lips.

"Regina—"

"I'm sorry," Regina said as she moved away from her and released her hand instantly. "I'm sorry, Emma, I shouldn't have—"

"Warm," Emma said lowly, cutting her off. "When you kiss me, I feel warm."

_And safe. And full._

Emma could feel the blush burn her cheeks, unable to stop herself from drinking Regina in completely. She had seen so many different sides of her over the years, but the woman before her was completely vulnerable and her walls were currently knocked down, leaving her open to Emma in ways she'd never been before. The woman she was looking at was not the Evil Queen, nor was she the Regina she thought she knew. She was someone else completely, someone different, someone new.

Emma threw away all reason why she shouldn't lean forward and capture those full lips with her own. She knew the timing was all wrong, she knew there was still so much they had to figure out, but she couldn't shake that feeling, not now that Regina had already stolen one kiss that made her feel everything she hadn't been able to feel for days. She was broken, but Regina was too, and somehow together even as broken as they were, they weren't if they were together.

She placed her wine glass on the coaster on top of the coffee table and gently took Regina's from her hand and placed it on the second coaster. She wet her lips as her heart thundered in her chest and she reached up to gently cup Regina's still bruised face. Lightly she ran her thumb over her discolored flesh and shook her head as a smile curled over her lips.

"Emma?"

"For all the reasons why we shouldn't do this now, the reason why we should is stronger. We are stronger together, Regina, we always have been, but I think there's a reason why that is and it isn't just because of who I am, who I used to be."

Regina leaned into Emma's hand, her eyes brimming with tears. "Emma?"

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you going to kiss me?" Regina whispered and Emma laughed softly and nodded her head as a few tears rolled down Regina's cheeks.

Her heart raced faster as she closed the distance between them and pressed her lips lightly against Regina's, holding her breath just for a moment before sliding her hand to the back of Regina's neck and pulling her harder against her lips, kissing her deeply with all that she had.


	24. Chapter 24

Regina fell into the kiss with ease, kissing Emma back just a hard, just as deep. She had to fight hard against the urge to slide onto Emma's lap, to touch her, to feel her body against her own once again. She had to let Emma dictate the pace they took and just how far they went, whether it stayed just as it was or went further than just a kiss.

Kissing Emma meant she thought of nothing else in that very moment, she just allowed herself to become lost in the feel of Emma's lips and tongue against her own. Kissing Emma meant a lot more than just a kiss because she knew there was no such thing as just a kiss between them.

This was different than before, much different, and Regina couldn't quite put her finger on just why that it was. She just focused on the kiss, on Emma, on the way her lips felt against her own and the strong yet insistent way Emma's tongue swirled with her own. The kiss itself was riddled with heavy and intense passion, slow and deep and sure. It was unlike anything she'd ever experienced and as her mind swirled and settled into a lustful haze, she started to remember how heated things had become between them that night they landed drunkenly in her bed.

It was the ding of the timer on the stove that pulled them apart and just for a moment, a lingering moment, Regina pressed her forehead against Emma's as their lips lightly touched, their breath coming out in short, sharp pants as the moment and their kiss came to an abrupt end.

"I need to add the cheese."

"Now?"

"Yes," Regina said and she swallowed thickly as she leaned back, breaking their close, intimate contact as tears sprang to her eyes. "Henry always liked cheese on top."

"I remember him saying," Emma said sadly. "Do you need a hand?"

Regina smiled, one that fell short, and shook her head. "I'll be just a few minutes. Why don't you top up our glasses and I'll be right back."

She hurried into the kitchen, her heart racing, aching. A part of her was dizzy with lust from kissing Emma and the other part of her felt guilt and pain in just remembering a small, simple memory of their son. Neither feeling seemed to cancel the other out and she knew it wouldn't be as simple as that. The weight of the loss of their son would forever linger, some days would be harder, others would be a little easier, but it would never feel okay again.

It took her a few minutes to find the oven mitts and pull the dish out of the oven and twice as long to grate the cheese overtop. She had to stop several times, blinking through the tears at the memories of Henry telling her if she put too much or too little on top. By the time she put the dish back into the oven, she had gone through several of those memories in her mind, clearly hearing Henry's voice and his laughter every time. She knew she couldn't shut out those memories, no matter how painful it was to think of them, to remember her son, the happier times, simpler times.

Everywhere she looked, even just in the kitchen, more and more memories started to creep up. With tears in her eyes that refused to fall even as she tried to blink through them, she thought of all the times she'd seen Henry sitting at the island countertop, hunched over a bowl of cereal with a comic book or two open in front of him. She thought of all the times when he was much younger that they'd spent baking various goods on a weekend afternoon. She thought of him when he was just a toddler, sitting on the floor as she cooked, playing with pots and pans and squealing in delight at the noise that he could make with them.

These were small memories that had once been her own and given to Emma during the second curse before she'd sent them both across the town line, memories that had long since faded from her mind and she hoped that Emma hadn't forgotten them either.

After making a quick trip to the powder room, she returned to the study and found Emma where she'd left her, only the soft sounds of jazz filled the room from the stereo that was tucked away in the corner by her desk. Her presence wasn't known just yet and she took all but a moment just to watch the other woman as she closed her eyes and sipped her wine slowly. She walked over to the stereo, keeping her step light and quiet and she turned the volume up a little as to not startle her.

Emma wordlessly rose from the sofa and placed her glass down on the coaster on the coffee table. With a small, sad smile, Emma approached her and as if they had done it hundreds of times before, Emma's arms encircled her in a warm, gentle embrace, their bodies molding together, swaying to the sultry, slow beat of the music. Regina just reveled in the warmth that emanated from Emma's body and wrapped her arms around her neck loosely.

Her tears only began to fall when she felt Emma's own fall upon her neck. Emma gripped at the back of her white blouse tightly, both of them shuddering as they held on to one another and cried. She never allowed herself to be so vulnerable in front of anyone in her life, but with Emma she didn't feel anything other than safe there in her arms.

"I keep thinking about him," Emma whispered into her ear, neither moving from their embrace.

"I as well."

"We can't pretend this isn't happening, that he's not gone."

"We cannot," Regina murmured in agreement. "He'll live on in our memories and our hearts."

Emma pulled back just enough to look into Regina's watery eyes with her own. "What is your best memory of him?"

"There are far too many," Regina said with a sad smile. "This house is full of them."

"Like everywhere you look you can see him, remember something that happened?"

"Yes," Regina nodded.

"It hurts," Emma whispered and Regina moved her hands to gently cup her face. "It is always going to hurt, isn't it?"

"Yes, in some ways it always will."

"Mine is when he came to Boston the night of my twenty-eighth birthday and brought me home."

Regina couldn't help but smile because that was a night she remembered all too well herself. That night had changed their lives and the fate of the town itself. That night had changed everything and it was all because their son had the heart of the truest believer. Underneath it all and despite the mixed feelings she'd had about Emma upon first meeting her, she had to admit that was one of her favorite memories of their son because he hadn't just brought Emma home, he brought her home to her.

In more ways than she knew he even realized before his unexpected, untimely death.

With gentle strokes of her thumb, she brushed aside Emma's tears. "He did bring you home," she smiled at Emma, feeling the flood of emotion now more than ever. "I never got the chance to tell him how truly thankful I am that he did."

"I'm sure he knows."

"Do you think so?"

"Yes," Emma said with a surety in her voice that lifted Regina's broken spirits. "He knew how we felt about each other just before…I know he knew. He wanted me to fix it, to fix this. He wanted you and me to be together. I don't know if—if it can still happen with us, Regina."

"You and I may be broken, but that doesn't mean we can't."

"But the timing—"

"It doesn't matter if the timing is right or wrong, Emma, we are here now together and the only thing that we can do is move forward in any way that we can."

"How?"

Rather than telling her, she showed her, placing the softest of kisses upon her lips. She had only intended to keep it light and chaste as to not push Emma too far too fast, but the moment Emma's tongue slipped past her lips, heated passion took over. She was stepping backwards, Emma pushing her with a force behind her kiss and Regina moaned as her back slammed up against the wall and Emma kissed her harder, deeper.

Her stomach twisted in knots as she pulled back from Emma's lips suddenly, her eyes searching Emma's, looking for any signs of the darkness that had been there before. She didn't want to see her slipping once again; she didn't want to lose her to the darkness inside of her because she had lost control of all emotions because they'd kissed. It wasn't there and all Regina could see in Emma's green eyes was the lust that lingered there. And all she could feel was Emma's body against her own and Emma's hands gripping tightly at her hips.

Just as their lips met in another hungry kiss, the timer went off on the oven, effectively breaking them apart. Regina shakily ran her fingers through her hair as Emma stepped back and mirrored her actions, her breath coming out in heavy, sharp pants. Regina pushed herself off the wall and smoothed out her blouse before leading the way out of the study and into the kitchen. Her hands were still shaking as she slipped on the oven mitts and removed the lasagna. She switched the dial on the oven off and barely had the mitts off before Emma was grabbing at her hips and spinning her around, her lips claiming hers in a rough, passionate kiss.

Regina moaned as her backside hit the edge of the counter, Emma's hands grasping at her hips roughly before skimming up over her abdomen and over her breasts, her touch firm and rough.

Possessive.

She was swimming in so many emotions that her mind barely registered the fact that Emma's insistent fingers were unbuttoning her blouse at the rate of nearly tearing it off of her, buttons splaying every which way. She heard the clatter of the small buttons as they hit the floor, yet she didn't pause to take much notice as her mind was focused on the feel of Emma's hands trailing over her bare abdomen and up over her lacy bra to grasp at her breasts.

A small moan escaped past her lips as Emma trailed hot, open mouthed kisses over her jaw and down across her neck. She pulled at Emma by the front of her simple white t-shirt, eliciting a feral sounding growl out of her, but they barely paused as their lips crushed together in another hungry, wanton kiss. It felt as if Emma's hands were everywhere all at once and her body was responding in jest despite her mind faintly screaming at her to stop.

She wasn't in control, Emma was completely, and when they broke away from one another, panting hard, Regina's eyes fluttered open and stared into Emma's, watching as the swirl of darkness flooded through her green eyes just for a moment. When Emma blinked, it was gone, and all that Regina could see was the lust take over, controlling her, possessing her.

Some sense of logic made it's way in Regina's mind in that moment. They were in the kitchen and their dinner was waiting for them to plate it and eat it. The kitchen was no place for ministrations of the sexual kind, but her body had betrayed her in every way and she had allowed her self control to slip away, handing it over to Emma without a second thought. Despite every sign pointing to why they shouldn't do this, there was only one thing she listened to and that was the very fact that she wanted this, more than anything. She'd wanted it since she and Emma had woken up that morning in her bed and in those few minutes before Emma had completely freaked out and left.

Regina glanced down at her ruined shirt before lifting her eyes to meet Emma's that were only just mere inches away. She realized then that she hadn't let go of Emma's t-shirt and she let go with a small gasp, but Emma barely moved away, barely took her eyes off of her as she took one step closer to her until their bodies were flush and their lips just a hairsbreadth apart. She barely realized that they were suddenly no longer in the kitchen, but in her bedroom and standing at the foot of her bed, black and white smoke curling and disappearing around them both.

Before a single word could slip past her lips, Emma was kissing her again. A rush of arousal coursed through her body as she was forced down on top of her bed, Emma's lips barely leaving her own for a second. She reveled in the delicious feel of Emma on top of her, that burn of arousal at the weight of her as they lost themselves in one another. It was a feeling she had craved since that first night they were together and a feeling she had only been able to dream of until that very moment.

Regina moaned as Emma pulled back and she saw it, that darkness swirling in her eyes, but she was so lost in the heat of the moment that she didn't—couldn't—stop her at all. She just gripped at the back of Emma's neck and pulled her back down to her lips. Emma wasn't holding back and that should've alarmed her, made her stop, but it only spurned on her arousal, causing it to thunder through her body in a rush.

"Emma," Regina moaned as she rose her hips up into Emma's, eliciting a throaty moan from her.

"You only want what I am willing to give," Emma murmured against her lips. "And I want to give you all of me. And I want to remember, not by some potion or some spell. I want to remember this way."

The words she wanted to say fell silent on her kiss swollen lips. She just locked her gaze with Emma, watching the darkness in her eyes swirl and fade out slowly before returning when Emma ran a hand over her hip roughly.

"Emma?"

"Hmm?"

"You're slipping," Regina whispered so quietly she was unsure if the words were even spoken at all. She swallowed thickly and ran her fingers through Emma's soft blonde hair. "You're slipping again. Let me help you stop before you do."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not," Regina said, her voice more firm than before. "You're slipping. You're not in control, not of your emotions and not of your magic."

"I'm _not_ slipping," Emma said with that dangerous glint in her eyes that both terrified and turned Regina on. "You said the only way is to move forward and then you just kissed me. How else am I supposed to—"

"Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss."

"That's a bullshit answer!" Emma snapped and she scrambled to get off of Regina. "I'd ask you what you want from me, but no matter what comes out of your mouth, it's going to piss me off and you were right, Regina, I _am_ slipping. I'm slipping now because you're pushing all the wrong buttons."

"I want to help—"

"Help me how?" Emma asked with a bite to her tone. "Help me control my emotions? My magic? I was fine until you fucking opened your mouth!"

Regina could feel her own anger stirring inside of her and found it easier to control it without her magic. As alarming as it should've been to her, she simply ignored it. Emma was in need of her attention at the moment and that was all that mattered to her was Emma. To catch her before she fell, to reel her in before she drifted too far away. Regina rose from the bed and reached out for Emma, holding on tight a she tried to jerk away.

"Emma—"

"Let me go."

"Please," Regina urged, her hands curling around her toned biceps tighter. "Let me help you."

Emma shook her head no and Regina tried again to hold her steady, to prove her worth, that she could help her in any and every way that Emma needed it. Emma shook her head once more and pleaded Regina with her eyes to stop, to let go.

"You can't."

"I can," Regina whispered and she didn't falter as Emma stopped resisting. "I can, Emma."

"You're without magic."

"I don't need magic to keep you from slipping again," Regina insisted and hoped that it was true.

"Then how?"

"I can help you control your emotions. Your emotions are tied into your magic and when you lose control of one, the other spirals as well."

"How did we go from—"

"It doesn't matter," Regina replied and she managed a small, tight smile. "It doesn't matter," she repeated and she moved to take Emma's hands in her own. "Take a deep breath, Emma, and tell me what you were feeling before."

"You."

"You need to be more specific."

Emma laughed darkly but upon Regina's tight squeeze of her hands, she shook her head. "Isn't it obvious, Regina?" Emma asked and she leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I'm so incredibly turned on by you, from kissing you. All I can think about is how much I want to fuck you…"

_And I want so much to let you_, Regina thought but kept the words to herself as she knew she had to take a stand and be strong, resilient. "When you feel that way, do you lose control?"

"Doesn't everyone lose control when they're horny?"

"Emma—"

Emma cut her off with a searing kiss, one far different than the others they had shared over the course of the last nearly half an hour. This time she was more determined, more forceful, the lust she was feeling so powerful that even Regina could taste it upon Emma's lips and tongue. Emma's hands grasped at her open blouse before slipping her hands over the smooth skin of her abdomen just over the waistband of her dark grey slacks. Not wanting to give Emma complete control—and to give her consent without using words—Regina grasped at the hem of her t-shirt and pushed it up forcefully.

"I want you," Emma murmured against her lips.

"Take me," Regina responded breathlessly. "Now."

Emma hurriedly forced the dainty zipper down on the left hip of her slacks as they moved towards the edge of the bed together. After a brief yet hard kiss, Regina removed her t-shirt and bra with one hard pull. The yoga pants Emma wore quickly followed and she stood before Regina completely nude since she'd gone without wearing underwear. Regina moaned as she stepped out of her slacks that had pooled around her ankles. Emma wasted no time in pushing her ruined blouse off of her and moved her lips down her neck and over her breasts that all but spilled out of her lacy bra.

For Regina, this was far different than it had been that night, where they had giggled as they'd tentatively removed one another's clothing, the alcohol dulling their senses and slowing them down. Neither had taken control or became domineering, as it had been give and take evenly with both of them throughout the entire night. This was different and alluring. This turned Regina on beyond belief and dulled yet heightened her senses in a way that copious amounts of alcohol did.

Nobody had ever relinquished full control over her in all her life, not in a sexual manner. She already knew of her feelings for the other woman, how deeply rooted they were, but this cemented the very fact that they were equals, even when Emma was on the very verge of losing herself to the darkness that now resided inside of her.

She inhaled sharply as Emma pulled down the cups of her bra, releasing her breasts as her lips trailed wet, hot kisses along her skin, her fingertips teasing hardening nipples with a surprisingly light touch. She could barely take her eyes off of Emma and with a steady breath she hooked her fingers on her matching lace panties and pushed them down, letting them fall to her ankles before she gingerly stepped out of them. With another breath, this one unsteady as Emma's lips wrapped around a nipple and sucked hard, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, shimmying out of it with ease.

With gentle urging, she pulled Emma's lips away from the delicious assault on her hard, aching, straining nipples. Their eyes met for a lingering moment before they were kissing again, hard and deep. Regina pulled Emma down on to the bed with her, moaning as Emma's delectably naked body slid on top of her own.

The moment hung heavily in the air, seconds ticking away and feeling like minutes, but as they broke away from one another's lips and their eyes met, the gravity of the moment they were sharing became something more.

This was where they'd been headed for far too long, this very intimate moment that would define everything between them once and for all.

_We are stronger together._

And they were. Regina just had to find a way to truly show Emma that without letting her slip into the darkness that had her treading on dangerous water.


	25. Chapter 25

Emma lightly traced her fingertips over Regina's spine, from the base of her neck to the small of her back, watching as she slept soundly beside her as the early morning sunlight began to peak through the partially closed curtains over the windows. The way the light hit Regina's warm, soft skin sparked something inside of Emma and she trailed her fingertips up her spine once again, eliciting a soft moan from the sleeping woman as she slowly began to wake.

They had spent hours in Regina's bed, hours fucking and hours making love. There had been several defining points of their night together, moments where Emma felt herself beginning to slip away and Regina wouldn't let her, she'd held on to her and didn't let her slip. Regina had been a tether of sorts, keeping Emma there in the moment every time the darkness began to take a strong hold of her once again.

Regina turned her head on the pillow and her eyes fluttered open as a soft, dreamy smile curled over her lips. Emma returned the smile, her eyes flicking to her hand and her fingertips as she continued to trail them up and down her spine and over the smooth expanse of her back. The moment itself was far more intimate than the night they'd just had together and while it would've scared Emma away before, she didn't move nor did she stop touching the woman who had captivated her heart and soul completely.

Wordlessly, Emma leaned forward to capture Regina's lips with her own in a soft, lingering kiss. Neither parted as Regina turned on her side and swept her hand up Emma's side before sinking into her wild hair, pulling her in closer as she deepened the kiss. Emma's hand splayed almost possessively across Regina's lower back as she pulled her almost flush against her own body.

"You stayed."

"Yeah," Emma smiled against her lips and nuzzled her nose against hers before pulling back to look into brown eyes, eyes she'd gotten lost in over and over again for hours. "I stayed."

"You're not going to—"

"Freak out and bail on you?" Emma finished for her and she laughed with a small shake of her head. "No, I won't. Not this time."

As if to reassure her, she kissed her once more, keeping it light, but soft and sure. She felt Regina smile against her lips and for just a moment she felt a pang of guilt for feeling so happy in that moment when their lives were anything but happy. She tried to remember what Regina had said to her several times the night before, about living in the moment and forgetting the rest of the world even if it felt like it was the worst thing they could be doing.

Living in the moment was what had kept her from slipping completely and she closed her eyes, struggling to hold on to the moment they were sharing, a sweet good morning moment between two new lovers. She focused on the feel of the brunette in her arms, the way her skin felt upon her own, on the tender touch of her fingers that trailed along her cheek. She focused on the way Regina pressed her lips to her own, unmoving as she waited for her to respond.

Instead of kissing her back, Emma pulled away, opened her eyes, and found herself immediately locked in a heavy gaze. "Regina?"

"Hmm?"

"About last night—"

Emma stopped when she saw the look on Regina's face fall from being blissfully content to worried. She shook her head and let out a small laugh as she pulled Regina closer to her, her leg slipping between hers in the process. She wasn't even certain what she was going to say, but the moment she felt the damp, warm skin against her thigh, all other thoughts all but disappeared from her mind.

"What about last night?" Regina asked tentatively, her breath hitching in her chest as she subtly rolled her hips down on Emma's thigh. "Emma?"

"It was amazing," Emma breathed, her breath dancing over Regina's parted lips as she remembered what she'd wanted to say. "You were amazing. You _are_ amazing."

"Emma—"

"Was it like that night?" Emma asked and Regina bit her bottom lip and nodded.

"Yes, it was, but better."

"Better?"

"You're a sloppy kisser when you've had one too many to drink," Regina chuckled and she stole a quick kiss. "Good, but sloppy. I much prefer the way you kissed me last night."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes," she grinned salaciously. "And all those other delightfully naughty things you did with that mouth of yours as well."

Emma couldn't hold back the moan that slipped past her lips as Regina pressed her wet cunt harder against her thigh. She swallowed past the guilt that was lingering, wanting nothing more than to just live in the moment and worry about the rest of the world afterwards because all she wanted to see, feel, taste, and hear was the delectable woman next to her. She skimmed her fingers over Regina's hip and inhaled sharply as she remembered dominating her more often than not the night before. Regina had relinquished control and willingly so, and as hot as it had been, Emma wanted to know how much _better_ it could be with their roles reversed.

The sheet fell away as Emma pulled Regina fully on top of her, both their bodies moving fluidly as if they were perfectly in sync with one another. Her hands swept the smooth expanse of Regina's bare back, eliciting a moan from her as their lips ghosted over one another's. Emma loved the response she gained from just a touch and it was in that moment she realized the weight of their bond together, as friends and as something more. Lovers.

The kiss they shared next was full of wild passion and heated desire that thundered through Emma's body, leaving behind a delicious, burning ache in her core. The passion between them consumed them both, allowing them to become so lost within one another that the rest of the world finally began to slip away. Neither parted from the other as Emma's hands swept over Regina's body, her hesitation fading as she slipped her right hand between their bodies and in between Regina's legs.

A moan tore past Regina's lips as Emma deftly slipped her fingers through slick, smooth folds. Her fingers sank into the wet heat slowly, almost as if it were the first time she'd touched her so intimately when she'd all but lost count just how many times she'd buried her fingers inside her. She felt Regina shudder as she pressed the tip of her index finger against her tight hole and they pulled away from one another as another moan tore past Regina's lips.

"Emma," she sighed out as Emma's finger slipped inside of her with ease. "Slowly. I'm still quite tender from last night."

"Did I hurt you?"

"No," Regina smiled, moaning against as Emma's finger, buried to the hilt, stilled inside her.

Emma watched her carefully as she began to thrust her finger in and out of her as gently as she could manage, focusing not only on the feel of her wrapped around her finger, but on the lustful brown eyes that bore into her own. Her finger stilled as she buried it inside of Regina's cunt again and she found herself lost in her eyes and lingering gaze. A small smiled tugged at her lips when she felt Regina roll her hips against her hand, wordlessly demanding more.

As their lips crushed together in a heated, hungry kiss, Emma continued to fuck her, each thrust picking up the pace until Regina was moaning and sighing against her lips and tongue. Before she could slip a second finger inside of her, Regina's hand curled around her wrist and pulled it away from her, her cunt lowering against Emma's as she spread her legs wider. The hand around her wrist moved to slip into hers, their fingers intertwining as they moved fluidly together.

Emma's left hand gripped at Regina's hip, pulling her harder against her, meeting every thrust and roll of her hips in almost perfect synchrony. The delicious burn in her core built up steadily and quickly, her orgasm just on the verge of thundering through her body. Her short nails dug into the soft skin of Regina's hip as she tried to hold back, still floored by the fact that Regina could make her come undone so easily, so quickly, just as she had done for hours the night before.

Regina threw her head back, moaning loudly as her hips jerked down roughly. Emma surged forward and kissed, sucked, and nipped over her neck, her hands holding her firmly against her as she came undone completely. She reeled back to watch her as she did, the very sight of her the most alluring and beautiful thing she had ever laid witness to in her life.

Her heart was racing as Regina's body shook, the tremors of her strong orgasm flowing through her body to the point where Emma couldn't tell where her own ended and Regina's began. Emma urged Regina back down for another kiss, finding it so very addicting to kiss the other woman, to become lost in her fully and completely. She moaned at the sudden loss of Regina's lips upon her own, but the feel of her lips trailing over her neck had her whimpering softly.

Her back arched as Regina's lips wrapped around a semi-erect nipple and her fingers lightly trailed down her abdomen. Emma grasped at the sheets tightly as Regina's fingers slipped between her folds, teasing over her swollen, throbbing clit with light strokes. Her lips unhurriedly made the delicious descent down her abdomen, her tongue flicking out to lick circles around her navel. Her fingers stilled as Emma spread her legs wider, watching with lust-filled eyes as Regina's lips descended lower.

"Regina," Emma moaned softly as she felt Regina's breath spill over her core.

The moan that spilled past Regina's lips sent a flood of arousal surging through her body. Every sense was heightened and sensitive to the tentative touch of Regina's lips and tongue against her cunt. Regina moaned again before wrapping her lips around her clit, sucking and licking thoroughly until she had to pull back to take a sharp intake of breath. Their eyes met in that very moment and Emma's breath hitched in her chest as Regina lowered her mouth back down to her throbbing clit.

Regina's hands moved to grip at her hips, stilling the thrusts that Emma had no control over. Emma could feel the fire inside of her building and the burn of smooth, short nails digging into her skin sent her into a dizzying haze of unabashed arousal. Emma arched into the hot, wet mouth relentlessly sucking at her clit, her vision swimming as teeth grazed over her sensitive skin.

Emma inhaled sharply, struggling to catch her rapid breath as the pleasure filled her whole. She was still on a high from the orgasm she'd had just minutes ago, but her body was craving more. A hand released the soft, satin sheets and moved to Regina's head, fingers threading through her dark brown hair gently but firmly.

"Oh god, Regina!" Emma cried out. "Don't stop!"

Regina purred against tender flesh, flicking her tongue once more of her sensitive, throbbing clit. Emma inhaled sharply as she looked down at the woman between her legs and focused on the feel of her tongue as she languidly licked the length of her cunt. Her toes curled the moment Regina's tongue slipped inside her hole and she released the grip she had on her head, her body arching and straining as she came undone.

The tiny quakes of pleasure coursed through her body as she lay there, content in many ways she hadn't felt in a long time, if ever—save for the night before—and yet Regina didn't move from between her legs, her lips trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along her inner thighs slowly. She felt the flood of arousal spill from her core and she forced her eyes open just in time to see the hungry look of desire in Regina's eyes in the moments before she licked over her fully, drinking her in, bringing her to the edge once more.

She wanted to pull Regina away from between her legs, the pleasure she was delivering almost too much for her to handle, but she also wanted to slide her fingers into Regina's hair and hold her right where she was and ride out the blissful ecstasy she was drowning in completely. She didn't get to do either as Regina's slender fingers deftly slipped inside of her and her lips wrapped around her aching clit, bringing her closer to tumbling over the edge with every hard, deep thrust of her fingers.

It took all her strength not to clamp her thighs against Regina's head. She came hard, her fingers grasping at the sheets, pulling them as her body went rigid, her hips jerking wildly as Regina struggled to hold her still. She clenched her eyes shut tightly and let out a scream.

Her heart was pounding hard and fast, her body relaxing as her orgasm washed through her in waves. She smiled, her eyes still closed, as she felt Regina kiss her way unhurriedly up her body, her lips lingering in some spots before Emma wrapped her arms around her and pulled her in for a deep, languid kiss. She could taste herself on Regina's lips and tongue and she moaned, pulling Regina tighter against her as they kissed hungrily.

What surprised her was the squeal of delight that escaped past Regina's lips as she flipped her over and on to her back. Emma pulled back from her lips with a smile and took just a moment to stare down into brown eyes that looked at her with nothing but love and adoration.

"I—" Emma faltered, the words nearly spilling past her lips, words she wasn't sure either were ready for. She shook her head and kissed her firmly before pulling back with a salacious smile dancing over her lips. "I believe it's your turn," she said softly, drawing out a small moan from the beautiful woman beneath her.

"Emma?"

"Hmm?"

Regina grinned as Emma stared down at her. She pulled Emma down, her lips grazing over the shell of her ear before she whispered, "don't hold back."

[X]

Regina inhaled sharply and gripped on to the edge of the countertop, her body aching in every way, reminding her of the night and early morning she'd had with Emma. She had never felt so thoroughly satisfied before, not in such a deliciously raw way. Emma hadn't held back, not throughout the night and not earlier that morning, both of them taking one another until they could barely move an inch any longer.

The way Emma had taken her at times had been exhilarating and even though that darkness had been there at first, it seemed that after a handful of hours it had all but faded away, not once returning, not even when they woke earlier that morning.

She moaned quietly as she pushed off the countertop and clenched her hands at her sides, watching as the last of the coffee brewed. She hadn't expected things to escalate the way they had and she hadn't expected just a kiss to turn things around completely either. The night had been emotional, for both of them, and she glanced over at their untouched dinner that still sat on top of the stove. She could hardly fight back the smile just remembering the dominating way that Emma had taken her.

Regina smoothed her hands down her robe and tightened the belt before she grabbed two clean mugs from the cupboard and made herself and Emma a cup of coffee. Her smile grew as she heard the soft footsteps coming up behind her and she moaned quietly as Emma's hand slipped over her hips with ease.

"I thought you were still sleeping," Regina said as she turned slightly to look back at Emma.

"Yeah, I was," Emma murmured, leaning in to kiss her softly on the cheek, just missing her lips by a fraction of an inch. "But all I could smell was coffee. One of those for me?"

Regina nodded, pointing to the mug on the right. "Sugar with a dash of milk and coffee," she smirked as Emma dropped her hands from her hips and eagerly reached for the hot mug on the counter. "Emma?"

"Hmm?"

Regina just stared at her, drinking in the sight of her wearing nothing more than a thin white tank top and barely-there purple panties. She blinked and reached for her mug of coffee and sipped carefully, her eyes raking over Emma's body hungrily and appreciatively. The strong coffee brought her thoughts back down to reality and as much as she wanted to take Emma back upstairs and into her bed, she knew it wasn't going to happen.

"Regina?" Emma asked as she looked at her pointedly. "You all right?"

"I'm fine, I was just—"

"Ogling me?" Emma smirked and she winked as Regina's cheeks flushed slightly. "Were you going to say something before you got distracted?"

"Oh," Regina said and nodded quickly. "I was going to talk to you about our current arrangement. I just want you to know that you are not being forced to stay here, Emma."

"I know, but it's not safe for me to be anywhere else or to be alone," Emma replied quietly. "I lost control many times last night, Regina. You were there, you saw it, you—"

"I helped you control your emotions by helping you channel them elsewhere," Regina finished for her and this time Emma blushed, her cheeks turning soft pink as she sipped her coffee. "Emma, I know you can control your magic and your emotions, you are stronger than you believe yourself to be. You don't need me to help you as much as we both thought you did."

"You're wrong, Regina. I do need you."

Regina felt a bit taken back by the blatant admission from Emma. She hadn't expected her to come right out and say it, to easily admit that she needed her. Emma needed her in more than just one way. She needed her to help control her emotions, and her magic. She needed her because they were stronger together and in a lot of ways, Regina needed her for the same reasons. It wasn't just about their relationship or where they now stood, whether they were friends or lovers or somewhere in between. It was about the very fact that they truly needed one another and Regina wasn't going to let Emma slip back into the darkness again, not without being there to catch her before she could fall.

"I need you too, Emma."

"I know."

"I'm not forcing you to stay here."

"I know you're not," Emma said quietly. "But I think it's better that I'm here. With you."

Regina just stared at her for a moment before she read between the lines, understanding what Emma wasn't saying in that moment. Despite the real reason for Emma being there with her, for staying in her house, there was another reason Emma wasn't willing to go home and that was because it was where their son had died. Regina's heart tensed as she thought of him and a wave of guilt flooded through her because it was the first she had thought of him since the night before.

A sad smile curled over her lips as she thought of their son and how he'd probably be happy for both of his mother's to have found something with one another. Love. What they had found was love and it was something she was still trying to come to terms with just as she knew that Emma was as well. Neither loved easily, but when it came to each other, it seemed to come naturally despite having fought it for far longer than either could willingly admit. Henry would want them to be happy together.

Henry would've wanted them to be together, to explore this new relationship that was unfolding despite everything else that was happening in their lives. Henry would've likely conspired against them if they had continued to fight their feelings for one another and she knew that without a single doubt in her mind that he would've tried everything to get them together. She didn't fight the smile as she thought of the ways he would've got them together, the dates he would've planned for them behind their backs, and how he would've cleverly found a way to get them alone together.

Her smile faded as she felt that void in her heart, the one that had settled in there the moment she found out that their son was dead, return tenfold. Emma's frown mirrored her own and there was no doubt in her mind she was going through the same emotions, thinking of the same things, of Henry. She swallowed thickly as she placed her mug on the counter and quickly wiped away her tears, turning her head away from Emma as she did.

"Regina," Emma whispered as she took a step closer to her and placed her mug down beside hers before she wrapped her arms around her from behind. "Regina, is it ever going to stop hurting?"

"I do not know."

"You're thinking about him too, aren't you?"

"Yes."

Regina's tears fell freely as she turned in Emma's arms. "Emma, about last night—"

"Let's not talk about last night," Emma said gently and she leaned in to kiss away her tears that rolled down her cheeks. "He would've wanted us to be happy even if we're in mourning. He would've told us not to feel so guilty because we spent the night together and forgot about the rest of the world for a little while."

"Yes, he would've."

"So," she sighed as she moved to cup Regina's face gently with both hands, "I think we need to do that. Be happy. For him. For ourselves."

Regina smiled through the tears that continued to fall. Happiness seemed so far off, an impossible feat, but in that very moment she felt something she hadn't since the night their son had died.

Hope, hope surrounded by strength and love. It was something they both needed more than anything in their lives. Hope, strength, love, and each other.


	26. Chapter 26

Emma sat cross-legged in front of the fireplace in Regina's study, the glow from the fire the only source of light in the dark, quiet room. She pulled the soft white blanket around her body tighter, watching as the flames licked over the meticulously stacked wood. It had been hours since she'd seen Regina last, but she could hear her voice coming from the dining room as she spoke quietly with Snow, Ruby, and David.

It had been two days since she and Regina had spent the night in her bed, two days of intimate moments shared between them from the small little touches and the stolen kisses, to sharing memories of their son, to talking about weakness, love, and strength. They had become so perfectly attuned with one another that it increased their emotional connection they'd found together. Those moments they shared in Regina's bed had increasingly become far more intimate than either of them had been prepared for and despite the fact that they hadn't talked about the true nature of their relationship, those three little words had nearly slipped past Emma's lips more than a handful of times.

But their two days of intimacy had come to an end when her parents and Ruby had shown up at the door. She was grateful that they'd both showered and dressed for the first time in days just an hour before the surprise visit. She wasn't in any way ready to explain the change in her and Regina's relationship to her parents or Ruby just yet. She was sure that Ruby at least knew exactly what had been going on beyond closed doors for the last couple of days and she knew that Ruby had enough sense not to mention it in front of her parents.

The surprise visit wasn't a social call, at least that much Emma had picked up on before she had retreated to the study. She could've gone up to the guest bedroom, but at least from where she sat in the study, she could just faintly pick up on the conversation that was unfolding in the dining room even from behind the closed door.

The conversation was centered on Lily and what they would do with her as she couldn't be held inside the station for much longer. Several suggestions had been thrown around, from locking her up in the asylum where they were keeping Gold to converting part of Regina's vault into a cell to hold her there. There were options, all of which would work until Lily figured out how to remove the cuff that kept her magic at bay. But what had made Emma retreat into herself was her thoughts on the topic at hand.

_Kill the bitch_, that voice in the back of her head had screamed at her, over and over again until she sat in front of the fireplace and lit the fire with a snap of her fingers. The words echoed in her mind, the thought still very present and in her moment of darkness, she wanted to. She wanted to kill Lily, kill the monster that she truly was.

She already had blood on her hands and she had spent the last four days trying to forget that. And it had worked, being there with Regina, retreating within herself and then spending two glorious days of doing nothing but sharing intimate moments with the woman who had taken her in and promised to help her, to save her from herself. She had forgotten until that thought, that screaming thought invaded her mind, what that darkness had tasted like and how it felt to have had blood on her hands, a life taken without a single thought.

She rocked back and forth slightly, wrapping her arms tighter around her legs she'd brought up to her chest. She inhaled sharply as she heard the resounding footsteps in the hallway that came to a stop just outside the closed study door. She could feel her magic fizzling inside of her, awakening from its dormant state and she clenched her fists together tightly, fighting it off as she focused just on the feel of the woman just on the other side of the door.

The very same woman she had indivertibly given her heart to long before she knew she had.

"Emma?"

She sighed softly, burying her face into the soft blanket she had wrapped around her as the door opened slowly. She clenched her fists tighter, fighting the magic that was stirring within her, struggling to find some semblance of control over it. The last two days had been far easier than they should've been, but she'd been deliciously distracted to the point where nothing else existed outside of her and Regina.

She wanted to scream internally and outwardly because if things had been confusing before, they felt to be even more confusing than ever before. Despite every intimate moment between them feeling so sure, so true, the guilt weighed heavily in her heart and soul. The very darkness that had been forced inside of her was something she just couldn't shake and it made her fear the full potential of what would come if she ever lost control yet again.

"Emma?"

She barely flinched even when she felt the familiar touch of the hand that fell upon her tense shoulder. She didn't have to turn and look to see, she just _knew_ it was Regina. She knew even before the door had opened that she'd come to her.

"Emma, are you all right?" Regina asked softly and Emma turned to look at her, her mind feeling as if it were trapped in a fog. "Emma?"

"I'm fine."

"Come," Regina whispered as she helped Emma to her feet and gently removed the blanket she had wrapped around her. "How do you feel about seeing your parents?" She asked and Emma shook her head no. "What about Ruby?"

"I don't want to see anyone right now."

"You don't have to," Regina said, offering her a small smile when Emma's eyes met her lingering gaze. "I'm going to head down to the station. Is there anything that you need?"

"No."

"I shouldn't be gone for very long," Regina continued, unmoving from where she stood. "Are you going to be all right, Emma?"

"I'm fine."

"Emma—"

"I'll be fine," Emma said with a surety in her voice she didn't believe either. "Go. I'll see you when you come home."

Regina hesitated, glancing back at the partially open door behind her before she turned back to face Emma and leaned in to plant a soft kiss upon her lips. "I won't be long," Regina whispered and Emma nodded, gently pushing her away before Regina could kiss her again.

Emma took the blanket from her and wrapped it back around her body as she moved to sit back down on the floor in front of the fireplace. She closed her eyes tightly, tears burning, listening as the voices faded and the moment front door shut quietly, she buried her face in her hands.

She wasn't okay. She wasn't all right.

And she most definitely didn't want to be left alone.

[X]

"Are you sure she'll be okay?" Snow asked as they walked down the front path towards the gate.

"She's been fine for a couple of days, Snow," David said before turning to look at Regina. "Hasn't she, Regina? No more…episodes?"

"None," Regina replied tightly. "Yet that does not mean that what she is going through is over. She has a long way to go before she—"

"Gets rid of the darkness inside of her?"

"It isn't that simple, Snow."

"Lily gave it to her!" Snow said as she threw her arms into the air. "If she gave it to her, can't she take it back?"

"You want to ask her or shall I, because the answer will be one and the same," Regina snipped and she rolled her eyes. Of course Snow thought it'd be far easier, but even Regina knew the chances of having Lily cooperate with them were far below slim to none. "Now my question is, what are we going to do with her?"

"We certainly cannot release her," David said and the four of them came to a stop on the sidewalk just outside the gate. "We also can't…kill her, can we?"

"No, I suppose not," Regina replied and she pinched the bridge of her nose tightly. "It is either the asylum or converting a portion of my vault into a suitable cell to hold her. I propose we hold a town meeting, inform the people of the situation and hold a vote."

"A vote?" Ruby asked. "What for? Whether this _thing_ gets to live or die?"

"What do you propose we do?" Regina snapped and three sets of eyes just stared at her. "This woman is very powerful and we're very lucky that cuff is keeping her power at bay, but you all know as well as I do that it may very well be a temporary situation."

Regina knew just how dangerous it'd be if the cuff failed and if the cell refused to hold her any longer. It wasn't just Emma that would be in danger, it would be the entire town. Having Lily on the loose would make her entire reign as Queen look harmless in comparison. Regina ran her fingers through her hair, three sets of eyes still on her, all three of them without a doubt waiting for her to make the ultimate decision of just what they were going to do next.

"Let's meet in your office, Snow," Regina said after a few heavy minutes of silence settled between them. "I do believe this is a decision that should be made as a town. Give each citizen their own voice and reason."

"You're right," Snow nodded. "Okay, we'll meet at my office. Ruby, can you maybe stop by at Granny's and pick up some lunch?"

"The usual?" Ruby asked and upon Snow's curt nod, she headed to where she parked her car and was off without another word.

Regina turned on her heels and headed for her car that was parked in the driveway, waiting until Snow and David had driven off in the Ford truck before she headed inside to check on Emma. Her concern for her was growing by the minute and she had seen that fear in Emma's eyes in those few moments she'd been with her in the study. She felt uneasy leaving her alone, mostly because they had spent the better part of the last two days completely inseparable. She knew that had made a major impact on where Emma was emotionally and mentally, and the very last thing she needed was to take a few giant steps back and retreat to where she'd been before.

Regina entered the house quietly and headed straight for the study, not surprised in the least to find the white blanket on the floor in front of the now unlit fireplace and Emma nowhere to be seen. With a quick glance to the clock on the wall, Regina headed upstairs, a feeling in her gut telling her she'd find Emma exactly where they'd spent the last two days together.

She was quiet as she ascended up the stairs and headed for her bedroom, not surprised in the least to find the door closed. She inhaled sharply before opening the door and she entered the dark bedroom, the drapes drawn shut tight and the lights off. She knew Emma was in there, she could see her in the messy heap of blankets and sheets that were on her usually immaculately made bed.

She sighed as she sat on the edge of the bed and gingerly reached out to place a hand on the heap hiding under the mess of blankets. Just mere hours before she'd been under them with her, limbs wrapped around one another as they kissed one another awake.

"Emma?" Regina asked gently as she began to pull back the mess of blankets and sheets despite the protesting blonde beneath them. "Darling?" She bit her lip as the term of endearment slipped out before she could stop it.

Slowly Emma emerged from beneath the blankets and Regina did not hesitate to smooth her hair away from her eyes. "Hi," she murmured as she blinked at her, the light coming in from the hallway making her look far paler than she normally was. "I thought you left?"

"I did, I just wanted to come back for a moment and check on you."

"I told you I'm—"

"Emma," Regina sighed as she affectionately threaded her fingers through her hair. "I know you are not fine. I want you to talk to me."

"About what?"

"About what you are feeling," she said softly, her touch against Emma's temple lingering. "About what you are thinking."

Emma leaned up on her elbows slowly, her eyes not straying from the intense gaze they were both locked in. Regina pulled her hand away and wet her lips, silently reminding herself that she came back to check on Emma, not to pick up where they'd left off earlier. She knew such a big part of Emma's earlier stability had been because of the intimacy they'd shared over the last couple of days and it wasn't just sex, it was something else on a deeper, emotional level.

Emma said nothing as she fell back against the mattress, but her expression told Regina more than enough. She was done with everything that was currently unfolding and she just wanted to move on. Regina knew because she felt the same way. She too said nothing as she leaned down and stole a soft kiss, her lips lingering before she pulled back and stared down into now distant eyes that didn't quite meet her own.

"I won't be long," Regina said as she rose from the edge of the bed. She frowned when Emma didn't respond, only moving to bury herself in the mess of blankets and sheets once again.

[X]

Regina ignored the curious look she received upon her arrival to Snow's office where the others were waiting for her arrival. She was handed a Styrofoam cup of coffee from Ruby as she took a seat on the sofa next to her and she smiled gently, giving a small nod of thanks as she lifted the cup and took a sip.

After majority of the dwarves and a couple of the fairies showed up for the meeting, the devised two plans in regard to where they would imprison Lily until they, as a town, came to a decision regarding her ultimate fate. While nobody blatantly mentioned death, Regina could see it on all their faces that that was exactly what they wanted to do. Lily was a threat, she was a very dangerous being, and despite each and every one of them wanting to do the right thing and not have blood on their hands, death seemed to be their only option.

"What is she, anyway?" Leroy asked gruffly. "She ain't like nothing we've seen before."

"She isn't," Blue answered. "In this world, she goes by many names. Satan would be the most common—"

"That is ridiculous!" Snow burst out and all eyes in the room fell upon her. "It is just so ridiculous that we'd think she's—"

"Is it, Snow?" Blue asked her, irritation showing clearly in her eyes now. "Of all the beings in all the realms, is it really that ridiculous that this woman could be just that?" Blue shook her head as she rose from her chair. "When the dark curse was broken, magic was released into this world for the first time in a millennia. It would be terribly irresponsible of us if we choose to believe that this woman is anything but what she truly is. She must be dealt with before she finds a way to escape. We know of Gold's plan and how it failed, but we do not know what she intends to do."

"And we're not going to find out," Snow said determinedly. "Leroy, how soon can you and the dwarves fashion a cell?"

"Where?" He asked and several eyes landed on Regina. "Your vault?"

"There is magic inside there, trapped within the walls. It could strengthen the spell needed to contain her," Blue said with a nod. "Regina?"

"I can clear out a room and you can begin once I've done just that. I'll need some time and a few extra sets of hands to help move some artifacts into my home temporarily."

"Astrid?"

"Yes?" The unusually quiet fairy squeaked from where she sat next to Leroy. "I can get some of the girls to help. We can move those artifacts to your home with magic. It should be done quickly," she said with a nod. "Just as long as these artifacts aren't—"

"Dangerous?" Regina asked, her tone even. "Hardly."

"I meant with Emma, we know she's staying with you right now. Wouldn't it be dangerous for her to be around some of the artifacts that you have that she could potentially use against all of us? We know she's—"

"Emma is fine," Regina said tightly. "These artifacts are useless in this world and in our own, they served nothing more as décor. The artifacts we're removing belonged to my father."

Snow gave her a sympathetic look, one that mirrored Astrid's as well. Regina chose to ignore the wordless sympathies and turned her attention to her softly buzzing cell phone she pulled out of her jacket pocket she had yet to remove. She had only been gone for half an hour and before she looked at the screen, she thought it was Emma. She was mildly disappointed to see Tink's name on the screen instead.

Ignoring the call, she focused on the unfolding conversation of what they would do once there was a sufficient and very powerful cell to hold Lily. Charming suggested a carriage of sorts to transport her from the station; Leroy suggested tranquilizing her as it had worked before, and Snow suggested they heavily bound her in chains with no less than half a dozen fairies seeing over the transport to the vault. It all seemed like it would work out, one way or another, but Regina was worried about moving Lily at all, especially when she herself was without magic and couldn't assist in any way or form.

Her phone started buzzing again and she rolled her eyes, motioning to the others that she had to take the call. She walked to the other side of the office just beyond the conference table and answered the call. "Hello, Tink. What can I do for you? I'm in a rather important meeting, one you should be here for as well—"

"It's Emma," Tink said in a rush. "She called me, asked me to come by. She's gone."

"What?" Regina said in a controlled whisper as she turned her back to the others. "What do you mean she's gone?"

"She sounded so…broken and scared and she said she was alone," Tink said. "I barely hung up and went right to your house. She was nowhere to be found, Regina."

"Did you check my room?"

"Yes. Nothing but a mess of blankets on your bed."

Regina pinched the bridge of her nose. "And the rest of the house?"

"I checked everywhere. I even…oh gods, I'm so sorry, but I even checked Henry's room, wondering if she could've been hiding away in there for some reason or another, but she—"

"Please tell me that you touched nothing," Regina said in a dangerously low voice. "Tink, tell me that you touched nothing in his room."

"I didn't, I just opened the door, I swear! Regina, I started to panic because I know what she's been going through lately and I'm worried about her. Something isn't right. I've tried a simple locator spell but something is blocking it, like she is absolutely nowhere in Storybrooke."

"Where are you now?"

"I'm at her apartment, which is why I called you again."

"And?"

"She's not here."

Regina sighed, but something suddenly clicked in her mind. As far as she was concerned, there was nobody at the station since they were all there at the Town Hall. As instable as Emma had been since the spell Gold and Lily had over her had broken, she just had a nagging feeling she knew exactly where Emma had gone off to.

"Tink, get down to the station. I'll meet you there."

"The station? But—"

"_Now_, Tink."

Regina hung up the phone and headed for the office door, not breaking stride as Snow and David both jumped from their seats and followed her. She snarled when David's hand landed on her shoulder, halting her before she could exit.

"Where are you going, Regina?"

"We have a situation."

"And you were just going to leave without informing us of what this situation entails?" David asked her and she shrugged his hand off of her with a look of disgust. "Regina, what—"

"Emma is missing."

"What?" Snow looked to her husband in alarm for a moment before looking at Regina. "What do you mean that Emma is missing? Wasn't she at your place, safe and sound?"

"As I said, Emma is missing, but I believe I know exactly where she is right now."

"The station," David said and with a nod, he led the way down the stairs and out to the street where the three of them hit the pavement running.


	27. Chapter 27

Emma sat on the edge of the desk closest to the cells and she watched as Lily paced in her cell, ignoring her completely to the point where Emma wondered if there had been some kind of cloaking spell cast around the cell to prevent her from seeing or hearing anyone on the other side of the bars. It wasn't until she'd been sitting on the edge of the desk for a full ten minutes before she knew that Lily was fully aware of her presence.

She saw it in the way her eyes almost discreetly would look her way. She saw it in the way her lips curled into a self-satisfied smirk before she'd turn her back and pace towards the far wall of the cell, pause, turn on her heels and repeat. Lily knew she was there and there was a high chance she knew exactly what she was there for too.

Emma knew she didn't have much time on her side as it was more than just Regina looking out for her since they caught Lily and locked Gold away in the asylum. Surely someone would've come to check on her while Regina and the others held a meeting over what they were going to do with the woman currently locked up in the station. Her plan, one that was in the moment and not much of a plan at all, was to get whatever information she could out of Lily. Information that would help her find a way to give back what she'd taken from Regina.

Her magic essence.

In any other situation, she'd likely do whatever it took to get what she wanted if it meant fulfilling her role as the Savior, but things were different now, so very different, and she couldn't do whatever it took to get what she wanted because she knew exactly what Lily wanted—at least the sexual side of things when it came down to it. That was the very last thing she could let happen, especially after the last couple of days had played out between her and Regina.

And now was not really the time to be psychoanalyzing her relationship with Regina when she had a very different agenda on hand. One she couldn't slip up, mess up, or let her guard down for even just a moment.

Time was not on her side and she slipped off the desk and wet her dry lips with her tongue as she approached the cell slowly. The instant a hand fell upon one of the bars, Lily stopped pacing and snapped her gaze towards her. The look in her eyes sent chills down Emma's spine and she swallowed thickly, trying in vain to hold on to the resolve and strength she knew resided deep inside of her.

Sliding off the edge of the desk, Emma approached the cell with caution. For all the reasons she knew she shouldn't even be there, there was one reason that was driving her. Regina had helped her, became a savior of sorts to her in a handful of days and now it was her turn to become who she used to be. The dangerous glint in Lily's eyes didn't throw her off the way it should've and she traced a single fingertip over one of the bars, feeling the barrier spell that surrounded it.

"You're looking better than I expect you would," Lily said quietly as she slowly approached the bars. "Which is saying a lot, considering the last time I saw you, you were shot with a dart, tranquilized and hauled out of here. Where have they been keeping you, Emma?"

"That's none of your business."

"But you're wrong," Lily laughed. "It is my business or else you wouldn't even be here."

Emma clenched her jaw and glanced at Lily's wrist and the raw skin around the leather cuff, obvious signs she had tried to remove it to no avail. Her fingers twitched as she took a step back from the bars, the magic inside of her stirring unexpectedly in the presence of the woman who was responsible for the current state she was in. Anger flared white-hot beneath her skin and she shook slightly as she curled her fists tightly at her sides.

"You're fighting it," Lily purred as she placed both hands on the bars and hissed as she was shocked by the barrier that kept her inside. "Don't you know it's useless to keep fighting it?"

"It's not useless."

"What was that?"

Emma trembled, struggling to hold on to her resolve, struggling to fight the darkness she could feel prickling under her skin. She stared hard at Lily, wishing she could just reach into the cell and slap the self-satisfied smirk off of her face, wishing she could wrap her hands around her neck and squeeze the life out of her. She inhaled sharply, shaking her head free of those thoughts.

"Emma?" Lily cooed as she gripped the bars and this time she wasn't shocked by the barrier and she held on to the bars tightly. "Why do you fight it? Don't you know how powerful you are now? Don't you know just what you are capable of? Imagine you didn't have to hold back, didn't have to fight it. What would you do right now?"

"I'd kill you."

Lily laughed, gasping as she mockingly clutched at her chest. "You'd kill me, Emma? Would you really?" She laughed again and dropped her hands to her side, the dangerous glint returning to her eyes. "You've had a taste and you want more," she said lowly. "You know what it's like to have blood on your hands and you crave the power to determine whether someone lives or dies."

Emma stood firm, controlling her anger and her fear as best as she could, masking it by subtly crossing her arms over her chest. The seconds were ticking away quickly and she knew that what little time she had was drawing to a close.

"Come on, Emma, don't tell me you haven't thought about how fucking good it'd feel to take another life, even if it's mine," Lily cooed, her voice sickly sweet. "This isn't your first taste of the darkness, is it? I could taste the darkness already lingering in your soul."

"And let me guess," Emma said with a snarl. "It was delicious, wasn't it?"

Lily laughed and clapped her hands together. "Oh it was truly divine! Just as delicious as it was during all those hours I spent between those strong thighs of yours with my tongue up your pretty little cunt. Tell me, Emma, does she make you cum hard? When she fucks you, is it dirty the way you like it or is she prim, proper, and delicate? Hmm?"

Emma glared at her, but she didn't say a word. She wasn't going to feed into her game, not when she had one of her own to play, one she was already failing at completely. "I didn't come here to talk about my sex life," she said through tightly clenched teeth. "I came here to—"

"To see me? To talk to me?" Lily asked and she laughed hard, her tone clipped. "You came here to try and make things better? For who? You or her?"

Emma shook her head, yet before she could speak, strong hands grabbed her arms from behind her and pulled her backwards quickly. She turned to see it was Ruby who had grabbed her and she wasn't alone. Snow and David were right behind her with Blue, Astrid, Tink, and Regina.

"Emma, don't say a word. Let's just get out of here, okay?"

She didn't bother to struggle against Ruby's tight hold, she just shrank back, feeling defeated. She watched as David pushed past them, Blue right behind him and beneath their whispers, Emma sensed that as much as they didn't trust Lily, they didn't trust her either.

"Ruby, go," Snow ordered. "Now!"

Emma looked helplessly over at Regina, watching as she stood there and said nothing. She allowed Ruby to lead her out of the station, a little bit surprised when Ruby released her.

"What were you thinking?" Ruby asked her, throwing her hands up as she spun on her heels to look at her. "Why are you even here, Emma?"

"I—I thought I could—it's stupid. I was stupid, so stupid."

"Emma?"

"I wanted her to tell me how to give Regina her magic essence back. Stupid, right?" Emma scoffed and shook her head. "I don't know what I was thinking. It's not like she'd ever tell us anything. I just—I just wanted to help her. I wanted to help Regina. I want her to have her magic back because I know how much it's killing her inside to feel so powerless, so weak."

Ruby frowned and threw her arms around her, pulling her in for a tight hug. "Oh, Emma. We'll find a way, okay? Going to Lily is not the way, not after everything that's happened. We'll find a way to help Regina get her magic back, but right now we need to get you out of here."

"Why?"

"It's not safe."

"You mean everyone else isn't safe because of me," Emma said bitterly as she pushed Ruby away from her roughly. "Just say it, Ruby, just say it!"

"Emma—"

"I'm trying!" Emma said with desperation in her voice. "I'm trying, Ruby, I am."

"I know, Em," Ruby said and she offered her a small yet friendly smile. "I know you're trying. Regina told me how good things have been for you for the last couple of days. Things _have_ been good, haven't they? Do you think you can hold on to that?"

Emma clenched her jaw tight, fighting back her tears of desperation. Before she could further break down, just out of the corner of her eye she saw Tink approaching, her father and Blue close behind. She turned to Ruby, her hands shaking as she held them out in front of her, knowing before even having to be told what would happen next.

"Put them on me."

"What?" Ruby blinked in oblivious confused. "Put what—"

"Your handcuffs," she said firmly. "Put them on me. That's what they want, don't they?"

Emma didn't wait for Ruby to react and she reached for the cuffs she knew were in Ruby's jacket pocket. She slipped the handcuffs on herself and sighed in defeat as David grabbed on to her arm. She turned to look into his eyes, finding nothing but growing concern there. Tink looked at loss for words as she took one look at her before turning to Ruby and whispering something Emma didn't quite hear.

David pulled her towards one of the cruisers parked nearby and he stopped before he pulled the back door open. "Emma, are you okay?"

"No."

"I'm going to take you back. You should've never come down here. What were you thinking?"

Emma didn't answer him and he sighed, opening the back door of the cruiser and gently leading her inside. He shut the door with a frown and Emma watched the scene unfold from behind the window, voices muffled as Snow pulled at David, leading him away from the cruiser, talking rapidly and animatedly. She couldn't hear her, but she knew that whatever was happening now revolved around her and keeping her safe, not just from herself, but everyone else as well.

She could feel her magic bristling and with a glance down to her cuffed hands in her lap, she could see the small shocks of her magic escaping. She had been fine, maybe not perfectly fine, but she had been in control for the last couple of days and this hadn't happened, not once while she'd been holed up with Regina. She'd been in control of not just her emotions but of her magic and now it was falling apart too easily and it scared her endlessly.

After several long minutes, David slipped into the cruiser. He barely glanced back at her in the review mirror as he pulled away from the curb and headed in the opposite direction of Mifflin Street. Panic rose in her chest when she realized where he was taking her. He wasn't taking her back to Regina's house. He was taking her home.

[X]

Regina was exhausted. After the incident down at the station, they all returned to the town hall to resume their meeting. Hours upon hours of discussion unfolded, arguments erupted until everyone was finally on the same page on how they were going to deal with Lily in the coming days, weeks, and perhaps even months.

"Regina, can I talk to you before you go?" Snow asked as the others started filing out of her office. "It won't take long."

"Of course," Regina sighed, staying seated on the sofa as Snow smiled at her and quietly ushered the fairies out of the office before shutting the door. "What do you want to talk about, Snow? I'm rather tired and hungry and I am sure—"

"What is going on with you and Emma?" Snow asked quietly as she sat down on the opposite end of the sofa. "Please, just tell me what is going on between you two."

"I don't think that this is something you and I should be discussing."

"Regina—"

"It is none of your business."

"Emma is my daughter, it _is_ my business," Snow countered. "What is going on with you two?"

Regina clenched her jaw and sighed. "Nothing," she lied easily. "I've just been taking care of her as you asked me to."

"By having her in your bed?"

Regina's lips twitched and she fought that self-satisfied smirk because now was not the time to get into something as heavy as that. Whether it involved her daughter or not, Regina was not discussing her relationship with Emma, not when she wasn't entirely sure where they stood. They had been heavily intimate, that was for sure, but that could mean anything to Emma, that much she knew and understood.

Regina just shook her head and rose to her feet. "Where Emma spends her nights are entirely her own business, whether or not you are her mother. I also believe that this is something you should talk to her about. As it stands, I promised I would look out for her, take care of her in her time of need and I've been doing nothing but that for the last handful of days."

"Regina—"

"She was doing so well until you showed up this morning."

"We never even saw her!"

"She knew you were there, Snow," Regina sighed. "You have absolutely no idea what she's going through at the moment. You don't understand."

"That's all I'm trying to do is understand, Regina!"

"You're going about it in all the wrong ways and for all the wrong reasons. Now," Regina said as she grabbed her coat and slipped it on. "I am going to return home to check on Emma and no doubt will have to do some much needed damage control, especially after the incident down at the station."

"She's not there."

"Excuse me?"

"She—we didn't take her back to your house."

"Where is she?"

Snow looked uncomfortable as Regina fumed. She quickly buttoned up her coat and stormed out of the office with Snow hot on her heels. "Regina, we thought it was best—"

"You thought it was best to place an emotionally unstable woman in the same place that our son died in?" Regina asked incredulously as she stopped and spun on her heels to face the woman who had once been the bane of her existence. "Were you even thinking about the impact that would have on her or were you doing it just to keep her out of my bed?"

With a shake of her head, she turned and headed towards the stairwell, not able to spend another minute with the infuriating brunette who was quickly becoming the bane of her existence once again. She ignored David and Ruby when she walked out of the town hall, and headed down Main Street, the walk to Emma's apartment not that far at all.

Tink stood outside the apartment door, but Regina didn't allow her to prevent her from entering. She wrinkled her nose at the obvious smell of something rotting in the kitchen, but she headed straight for Emma's bedroom and found her cuffed to the bed with an expressionless look on her face. With a frown, Regina shut the door and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Emma, I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't know that they would bring you here."

"I want to go home."

"I know," she sighed as she leaned over to kiss her softly on the cheek. "I'm going to take you home, Emma."

The fact that Emma didn't consider her apartment to be home, but rather Regina's house to be home, wasn't lost on her at all, but it felt right to hear Emma refer to her home as her own. It was clear that Emma felt safer there, that it didn't set any triggers off as easily, not in the ways Regina feared her being there in the apartment would. Regina's eyes swept over Emma's expressionless face and blank eyes and frowned a little deeper. She had built up a wall and was hiding behind it, protecting herself, guarding herself. It was the very same wall that crumbled when they were alone and Regina knew she needed to break it down and soon or else Emma would spiral down into the darkness and her internal pain, even deeper than she had before.

Regina rose from the bed and her eyes swept over the unkempt bedroom. She bit her tongue, choosing not to comment on the mess. She grabbed a duffel bag and began to pack what clothes she could fit inside of it. She stopped as she gazed at the many pictures and polaroid's tacked to the wall just above the dresser. There were many of just Emma and Henry, but others with the Charming's, with little Neal, Ruby and Granny. Regina noticed that she wasn't in a single picture, but then again there was no sign of Hook in any of the pictures as well.

Then she spots it, just as she was about to divert her attention to continue packing up Emma's clothes for her. It's behind one of the picture frames on top of the dresser, a single polaroid just peeking out beyond the frame. Her hands shook as she picked it up and stared down at it with tears welling up in her eyes. It was of her and Henry, standing on Main Street as they waited for the school bus together, cleverly taken against her knowledge. She smiled despite herself and felt the sticky-tack on the back. She glanced up at the wall and found an empty space, pressing it in place before stepping back.

"Who has the keys?" Regina asked as she placed the duffel bag on the foot of the bed and zipped it shut. "Emma, who has the keys?"

"I don't know."

"Have you tried to remove them?"

"No."

"Try now, Emma," she urged.

"What if it's not safe?"

"Emma—"

"They're doing this to protect me, to protect themselves. I'm dangerous, Regina."

"Emma, you are _not_ dangerous," she said and she sat down next to her again. "You don't truly believe that you are, do you?"

"I don't know what to think anymore."

Regina frowned. She knew Emma was struggling endlessly and that the current situation was not helping in the least. She resisted the urge to kiss her and instead ran her fingers over Emma's bound wrists, her skin still slightly raw from the last incident when she'd been cuffed and restrained and fought against it.

Her frown creased deeper as she ran her fingers down Emma's arms and resisted the urge once again to lean forward, to close that small distance between them and kiss her. Less than twelve hours before she had no hesitation when it came to kissing her, to touching her, to stealing those small, intimate moments. Those moments lingered and came in bursts, stemmed in grief. She was suffering as well, not just from grief but from the loss of her magic as well. She had been trying so very hard not to let that overtake her and in a moment such as the one they were struggling through, it was hard for her to hold on to any semblance of resolve.

"Try," she urged as she ran her fingers over the handcuffs around Emma's wrists. "Try, Emma."

_For me. For you._

Emma closed her eyes and wet her lips and a pulse of magic flowed through her, not only releasing her from the cuffs that bound her, but made them disappear completely. Regina wanted to take Emma into her arms, to give in to that urge to kiss her, to make her forget about the rest of the world, but she didn't. Instead she reeled back, her eyes locked with Emma's, watching as she rose from the bed with an unsteadiness that wracked her own nerves.

"Can you get me out of here?" Emma whispered.

"Of course," Regina nodded as she reached for Emma's hand. She waited for Emma to pick up the duffel bag before she rose from the edge of the bed. "Let's go home."


	28. Chapter 28

Regina stood by the window and watched Emma toss and turn, restless even in her sleep. Her attention turned to the window as the headlights shone through, the cruiser coming to a stop just across the street. Regina sighed and quietly strolled out of the bedroom, careful to shut the door behind her before descending down the stairs. She grabbed her wool coat and slipped it on before she exited the house and met Ruby outside.

"It's ready," she said quietly. "It's been a long night."

"That it has been indeed," Regina said solemnly. "The artifacts?"

"Loaded carefully into a moving van that is parked at the station," Ruby replied and will a roll of her eyes, she continued, "guarded by a couple of the Lost Boys."

"Seriously?"

"Leroy is keeping watch."

"Shall we get on with it then?" Regina asked and she sighed as she glanced back at the door for a split second. "I'm uncertain if it's wise to leave her alone for very long. We all know what happened the last time she was left alone."

"Did you…secure her?"

"Like that turned out so well the last time. Of course I didn't," Regina snapped, mindful to keep her voice low. "Let's just get going. The sooner we deal with this, the sooner I can return home. I don't even know why I'm needed there. I'm _useless_ without my magic."

"It's your vault," Ruby said and she started to walk down the pathway towards the gate, leading the way. "You should be there, magic or not."

Regina wordlessly followed Ruby down to the cruiser and got in the passenger seat. The drive to the cemetery was equally as quiet, only the radio, tuned to the only station Storybrooke was able to pick up outside the town line, played quietly. The sun started to rise over the horizon as Ruby parked the cruiser behind David's truck just ten feet from the vault. They exited the cruiser together and were greeted by David and Tink.

"Regina," David said with a nod. "We're just going to check it out and then go over the plan."

"Okay," Regina replied as she clasped her hands in front of her. "And what is the plan exactly?"

"We're going to sedate her. Heavily. We've secured a van to transport her and Blue and Astrid are going to be riding along in case the cuff fails to keep Lily's magic at bay."

Regina nodded and followed them to the entrance of the crypt. She then led the way down the stairs into her vault and to the room where her father's things had been kept for three decades. It was no longer an open room, but the entryway now closed in by bars, fortified by the dwarves and magicked by the fairies. Regina ran her fingers over the rough iron and turned to face the others standing behind her.

"How long are we keeping her down here for?" Regina asked, her question pointed directly to David. She rolled her eyes when nobody said a word. "Indefinitely?"

"For now."

"For now?" Regina asked incredulously. "How long until _for now_ no longer works?"

"What do you want us to do, Regina?" David asked tiredly. "Kill her?"

Regina pursued her lips, fighting off the smirk that tried to slip out. "If you insist—"

"No!" Snow said as she pushed past the others gathered and stood at her husband's side. "We are not going to kill her, Regina!"

"So, we are keeping her locked up here indefinitely then?"

"Until we find a probable solution!" Snow yelled, her whole body shaking until David placed a firm hand on her shoulder. "Nobody is killing anyone! Enough blood has been shed already. Do we really need to spill any more?"

Silence filled the corridor and all eyes were on Snow. Regina inhaled sharply and turned to the iron bars once again. It was all to familiar to another time in her life, resembling the look and feel of the cell that once held Rumplestiltskin just before she cast the dark curse. She clenched her fists and her jaw, turning back to the Charming's with an expressionless face.

"Let's get this over with, shall we?" Regina asked evenly. "If you are so sure she'll be safer here, shouldn't we get a move on that? Hmm?"

"We're not—"

"Killing her. No, I got the memo, Snow," Regina snapped. "She'll just spend the rest of her natural life locked up here in my vault."

"We will figure something out!" Snow said with desperation in her voice. "Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but we will figure something out!"

Regina stepped aside, clenching her fists tighter as Snow stepped forward. Snow's hand fell upon her shoulder and Regina fought the urge to immediately pull away. Snow gave her a partial smile before dropping her hand away.

"I don't know what we're going to do with Lily, but we will figure something out, something that doesn't affect any of us," she said softly. "This is our only option right now."

"Is it secure?" David asked and Blue stepped forward with a small nod. "Then we should head to the station and get on with this. Snow, honey, we shouldn't be very long."

"Okay," Snow smiled as he stepped forward. "Be careful."

"I will."

"I love you."

David smiled, stealing a small kiss. "And I love you."

Regina stepped aside as the others left leaving her and Snow alone together. She felt uneasy being alone with Snow and her thoughts were now drifting back to Emma, worried about what would happen if she should wake before she returned home. Emma had promised before she'd fallen asleep that she wouldn't go anywhere and as much as Regina wanted to take her word for it, she couldn't, not when she was as emotionally instable as she was.

Regina walked past Snow and through the corridor, stopping only when she reached the stairs. She sat down heavily and ran her fingers through her hair shakily. She sighed in annoyance when Snow took it upon herself to sit next to her on the stone step.

"Regina, we need to talk."

"Don't you think we have done plenty of that lately?" Regina asked. "You took her back to the one place she really should not be right now and thought nothing of it and all because you wanted to keep her out of my bed. Emma is a grown woman and her choices are her own. She doesn't need to be berated because of whom she chooses to—"

"I'm glad it's you."

"Excuse me?" Regina blinked and blinked again. "Did you just say that you are glad it's me?"

"You understand her completely, Regina. You…care for her and only want what is best for her. You are trying to help her and I think—no I know that if you weren't there for her right now, I don't know what would've happened or where she'd even be right now. She keeps slipping, we all know she does, but I honestly think that if it weren't for you, we would've lost her days ago."

"Not even twenty hours ago you were angry that she's been staying with me and now you're basically telling me that you believe that it's best that she's with me?"

"I'm trying to understand, I truly am, and I know you, Regina. I know that you wouldn't bring her in so willingly if you didn't…care for her."

"I love her."

"I know that you do."

"But you're not okay with the fact that I'm _in_ love with her," Regina finished, feeling deflected at the frown she then received from Snow. "I cannot help the way that I've grown to feel for Emma. Things between us have never been anything short of complicated."

"But you are in love with her and she has been staying with you," Snow said and as a blush crept over her cheeks and she looked away, she added, "and she's been sharing your bed as well."

"As I said, things between Emma and I have never been anything short of complicated. I don't expect you to understand, Snow. I would also appreciate it if you would stop meddling."

"I'm not meddling! I'm just—fine," she groaned quietly and looked down at the floor, the blush deepening on her cheeks. "I just want to know if she's happy when she's with you."

"I like to think so, but she is grieving as am I. Happiness is not something that comes easily these days," Regina admitted softly. "It's barely been a week."

"Just promise me you won't hurt her."

"I'll give you my word that I will never intend to hurt her on purpose, Snow."

Snow smiled as she moved to lay a hand on Regina's shoulder, her touch hesitant before she moved to awkwardly hug her. Regina stiffened but didn't move away, allowing Snow her moment. She pulled back when they heard the sound of car doors opening and closing just outside and they rose from the steps as the sound of Ruby's voice echoed down into the vault.

Regina stood idly by, watching as David, with the aid of two Lost Boys Regina couldn't remember the names of, carried a heavily sedated and bound Lily down the stairs. Blue, Astrid and two other fairies followed with Tink coming in behind them and even though Regina couldn't feel magic anymore, she could see it happening before her very eyes. It was a protection spell of sorts, one that surrounded Lily, and one that prevented her from moving if she happened to wake.

Regina felt as if the whole ordeal was highly anti-climatic once Lily was in the cell and placed on the small mattress on the floor in the corner. Once she was the only one inside, Blue stepped forward to perform the last of the spell that would seal her inside indefinitely. As anti-climatic as it felt, the others didn't seem to feel that way as they began to file out of the vault, congratulating each other on a job well done.

"Regina?" Blue asked just as she turned to leave. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

"Yes, of course," Regina nodded.

"I know you've been without your magic since she took your essence from you," Blue said quietly, looking just over Regina's shoulder to make sure that they were alone. "I think I know how you can get it back. We know that she won't willingly cooperate with any of us, much less you, but I've been doing some extensive research and I think there is a way."

"I'm listening," Regina said softly, clutching at her stomach and trying in vain not to get her hopes up. "How can I get my magic back, Blue?"

"Emma."

[X]

Emma rolled over for the umpteenth time in the last half an hour, further tangling herself in the mess of sheets. She hadn't been able to fall back asleep, not after she'd woken up to find that Regina was no longer in bed with her. She smoothed her hands over the soft sheets next to her and buried her face into the pillow. She felt a gentle tingle running through her body, one she immediately recognized as the same one she felt whenever Regina was near, one that she hadn't felt until they'd spent hours making love a handful of days ago.

She pulled at the sheets, untangling herself and she stretched out languidly, her muscles protesting with a not so gentle remind of just how physically exhausted she was. She slipped out of bed and headed for the door, wearing nothing more than a pair of white cotton panties that were barely covered by the oversized soft blue t-shirt she'd worn to bed.

It was still early and when she stepped out of the bedroom, she didn't hear any voices so she knew that she and Regina were alone in the house. She was a guest, but it felt more like home to her than any place she'd ever spent some time in throughout her life. She realized through certain points during the night when she lay awake, unable to sleep, that it had felt like that for far longer than she wanted to admit.

She headed down the stairs quietly with the intoxicating smell of fresh coffee wafting through the air that immediately had her headed straight into the kitchen. She smiled a little at the sight of Regina standing by the coffeemaker, sipping from her mug slowly. When she turned to look at Emma, their eyes catching sight across the room, she smiled at her and motioned to the empty mug that was near her.

"Morning," Emma said quietly, her voice groggy as she grabbed the milk out of the fridge. "Did you go somewhere?"

"Good morning and yes, I did, dear."

"Oh."

"We relocated her," Regina said quietly as Emma poured herself some coffee. "Did you sleep well?"

"Not really," Emma replied, steading a shaking hand as she poured a little bit of milk into the mug. "Why did you relocate her so early?"

Regina was silent as Emma turned to look at her. She knew that talking about Lily was a very touchy subject for both of them and for a multitude of reasons. She didn't miss the lingering sweep of Regina's eyes over her body and she picked up the jug of milk and headed back over to the fridge to put it away.

After spending a few days being intimate, stealing kisses whenever they simply felt like it, Emma wondered why things felt suddenly so different. She walked back over to stand next to Regina and she picked up her mug of coffee, blowing over the top as she let her eyes wander.

"Emma?"

"Hmm?"

"Blue told me something this morning that you need to be aware of."

"Oh?"

Regina nodded and placed her mug down with a sigh. "She believes to know how I can get my magic back, but it is rather complicated."

"How complicated are we talking?"

"It's not just complicated, but risky as well."

"And you're willing to take the risk?" Emma asked and Regina just stared at her, expressionless. Emma sighed, put her mug down next to Regina's, and crossed her arms over her chest. "How big of a risk are we talking about here, Regina?"

"Moderate," she replied. "Don't worry, it's nothing that can kill either of us."

"What?" Emma asked. "You said either of us. Is Lily—"

"No," Regina said and she inhaled sharply. "You."

"Me? What?"

"You are going to help me get my magic back. It's difficult to explain, but you are the only one powerful enough to do the spell. That is," Regina said, her voice softening, "if you want to."

Emma opened her mouth to speak, but she wasn't sure what to say. While she wanted to help Regina in any way she could to get her magic back, she was unsure if she could do what would be required to help her. Regina hadn't asked her either, she told her she was going to help her, and Emma being in the state of mind that she was in, started drawing conclusions in her mind that she knew had no business being there in the first place.

Regina looked completely vulnerable and Emma was struggling to come up with something to say, anything at all, but the words didn't come easily and her mind was still spinning off in a tangent. So much had already happened in such a small span of time and it felt to her that everything was closing in on her, hitting her hard all at once.

"Emma?"

She blinked as Regina reached out for her hands. She noticed then the tears Regina was holding back and she frowned. "I'm sorry, I—"

"You don't want to help me, do you?"

"I do!" Emma back-peddled and gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. "I do. I just—I'm not sure if I can do it, Regina. I'm emotionally unstable. You know that better than anyone. Something is bound to go wrong if I try to do this for you."

"I suppose you're right."

"There has to be another way, Regina. If there is, we'll find it."

"The only other way is for Lily to give it back to me, but she won't cooperate of course, not without trying to negotiate terms for her release."

"What if it doesn't work?" Emma asked. "What are the risks?"

"You might lose your magic, or some of it if it fails. I on the other hand could be rendered unconscious for a time. There's no telling. Blue wasn't entirely specific on the grounds that it will fail at all. The risks are guess-work at best."

"What if the risks are higher than you think?"

"Then they are," Regina replied and she pulled her hands away from Emma's with a scoff. "I do not expect you to understand how this feels for me, Emma. I have had magic for much of my life and this emptiness, along with a broken heart, it is just too much to bear for much longer."

Emma knew it was more than the loss of her magic and she also knew that finding a way to give it back to her wouldn't feel the void she felt. She knew because she felt that void too, the one that had been filled when Henry had been alive. Nothing would fill that void, not in the way their son had. Not even their relationship, as changing as it was, would fill that void.

"You've been coping well," Emma said softly and Regina scoffed again.

"I appear to have been coping well because I have been looking after you."

"I don't need you to look after me!"

"Emma—"

"We're both broken right now," Emma continued and when Regina turned to walk away, she grabbed her by the hips and forced her to face her. "We are both broken and hurting and we're here for one another. That's what this is, that's what it was from the moment you brought me here and cuffed me to the spare bed."

"Emma, the reason you are—"

"I'm here because I'm dangerous and you're the only one who can reach out to me," Emma finished for her and she kept her hands on Regina's hips, firmly but not roughly. "When I'm with you, I feel so many things, but I feel more in control when I'm touching you than I do when we're apart and there is a part of me that is so afraid to be away from you now for even just a small period of time. I'm here because it's more than me being dangerous to myself and others, Regina. I—I can choose to forget all the other things I feel and focus on how you make me feel when I'm with you."

Emma inhaled sharply as she watched Regina's soulful eyes widen in slight surprise at her admittance she had voiced so easily that it surprised herself too. Regina glanced down at the minimal amount of space between them and she slowly ran her fingertips over Emma's hands still resting on her hips.

"I think you feel like you're completely useless not being able to use magic and I can't even begin to understand how that feels for you, but you're not useless, Regina. You could never be useless," Emma whispered, licking over her lips as she felt Regina's hands begin a slow ascent up her arms. She licked over her lips as Regina's eyes met hers once more. "I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what will happen if we try this because I don't know how to control the dark magic that is inside of me. I'm afraid that something will happen to you. We've already lost Henry, I've nearly lost myself, and I don't—I can't lose you."

"I trust you, Emma. You don't need to be afraid," she said softly and she lifted a hand to cup Emma's cheek gently. "I can help you with your dark magic, but I can't do that if I have none of my own. I can help you learn to control it."

"Like that's worked so well in the past," Emma laughed dryly and upon Regina's pointed look, she stopped. "Do you really trust me?"

"With my life," Regina replied confidently.

They shared a small smile between them before Emma leaned forward first and captured Regina's lips with her own in a soft yet sure kiss. It lingered for a moment, both women indulging in the intimacy of the moment and the kiss itself and it was Emma who ended the kiss.

"Then I'll help you. I'll do whatever it takes. We're going to get your magic back, Regina."


	29. Chapter 29

Regina oversaw the preparation of the complex spell, making sure the fairies that Blue had brought along didn't make any mistakes. They couldn't afford to make any mistakes and if the spell went wrong or didn't work at all, Emma would be extremely reluctant to try again.

After their moment in the kitchen, they didn't speak much at all, their lips otherwise preoccupied up until the doorbell rang, signaling the fairies arrival. Emma had retreated upstairs quickly before Regina had let them in and she still had yet to return downstairs. The clock was ticking and Emma's absence had Regina's already frazzled nerves on edge.

"We're nearly ready," Astrid said as she clapped her hands together lightly. "Where is Emma?"

"Upstairs," Regina replied. "I'll go and retrieve her. Where shall we set this up?"

"You'll be seated on the floor, facing one another," Blue said and gave Astrid a look that put her in her place and reminded her just who was in charge. "Perhaps not in here," she said as she looked down at the marble tiles. "It looks to be a rather uncomfortable place to sit."

"We can use the study," Regina replied as she backed up towards the doorway. "It's just down the hall. Tink, you know where it is. Show them and I'll be just a few moments."

Regina headed up the stairs quickly, finding Emma in her bedroom sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed and staring blankly down at her hands. Fear gripped Regina for a moment, wondering if Emma was trapped in a flashback, much like one she had experienced when she had harmed herself trying to get out of the cuffs. She approached her with careful caution and let out a relieved sigh when Emma looked up at her with a small smile curling over her lips.

Emma reached out for her, startling her as she pulled Regina down to straddle her lap. Regina was about to protest when Emma's lips captured her own in a heated kiss. She kissed her back with just as much hunger, moaning softly into Emma's mouth as Emma's hands roamed over her back. She knew she had to put a stop to things because she recognized the urgency in the way that Emma kissed her and knew that if they didn't stop, things would just continue to escalate between them. She gently pushed at Emma's shoulders as she pulled back with a soft sigh.

"The fairies are waiting downstairs."

"I know."

"Emma—"

"I just need you to kiss me for a few minutes, Regina. Please," Emma murmured, her lips ghosting over Regina's as her hands swept the length of her back, pulling her closer. "I need to be able to focus on something good, like this, like you. I don't want to feel so afraid."

"I trust you, Emma, and I know you are capable of doing this and I know that you will not fail."

"I hope you're right."

Regina hoped she was too, but she didn't voice those words, knowing she had to keep it together long enough for Emma to hold herself together emotionally to perform the spell the fairies were finishing the preparations for. She moved to rise from Emma's lap only to find Emma's hands grip on to her hips firmly, keeping her in place. Regina rolled her eyes and placed a single finger over Emma's lips.

"One more kiss and then we must go downstairs."

"Okay."

"I am quite serious, Emma."

"I know," Emma replied with a smirk and she playfully wiggled her eyebrows before leaning in for another kiss.

In the days they had spent holed up in bed together, Emma had learned each and every one of Regina's weaknesses, and she had found each spot that past lovers could never quite find that rendered her into a very aroused state of mind. One of those spots was the small of her back, a simple caress of soft fingers against skin. She could barely stop Emma as she pulled her tucked blouse free and ran her fingers over that very spot and elicited a deep moan past Regina's lips.

The way Emma switched from being so unsure and shy, to determined and forthcoming, taking exactly what she wanted without hesitation, no longer caught Regina by surprise. She was more than willing to take whatever Emma was willing to give and if that meant stealing a few minutes to indulge in one another, she wasn't going to deny Emma or those delectable lips of hers.

"Emma," Regina sighed as she pulled back. "You've had your kiss. Let's go downstairs."

With a frown, Emma let her go and Regina stood up and reached behind her to tuck her blouse back into her pants. She held a hand out towards Emma and watched as she almost reluctantly reached out for it and allowed to be pulled up from the bed. She gripped on to Regina's hand a little tighter, stopping her from heading towards the door.

"Do you really think I can do this, Regina?"

"Yes, I do," Regina said softly and she stepped closer to her and raised her other hand to gently cup her cheek. "I trust you. I believe in you. I—I love you."

Emma's mouth gaped open in surprise and Regina's eyes filled with tears from a mix of different emotions she was now feeling swirling inside of her. Her heart was racing and she anticipated Emma reacting the way she had been since the first time they landed in bed together, but she was pleasantly surprised when Emma moved to take her other hand in her own and smiled.

"You love me?"

"As if it hasn't been quite obvious for some time now, dear."

"You've only told me that you care for me," Emma said quietly, her voice thick with emotion. "I wasn't sure what that meant because you're you. I know you don't love easily, you told me that before. I know that you once feared love because you had been told your whole life that love is weakness and I—"

"It is weakness," Regina said, taking one step closer to Emma until she could feel Emma's breath fall upon her lips. "Because when I am near you, I grow weak and my heart starts racing in ways it never has before. If love is weakness, it is strength as well," she said softly and she licked her lips as a single tear fell, one that Emma leaned forward and quickly kissed away. "We're at a very hard point in our lives right now, but in some ways I am almost grateful because we have each other and we will get through whatever life hands our way because we have always been and always will be stronger together."

Emma was speechless and she inhaled sharply before she pulled Regina in for a tender, lingering kiss. They let themselves fall away from the rest of the world as they lived in the moment that had evolved between them in just a handful of minutes. Regina hadn't meant to say those words, not yet, not even if she knew they rang true deep in her head, but they had come out without hesitation, without her even thinking of it. She definitely didn't expect for Emma to say those words back, yet she could feel that she felt the same way in just the way she kissed her.

"Come," Regina murmured against her lips before pulling back completely. "Let's go downstairs before one of the fairies come to search for us."

"Okay."

They shared a small smile before Emma pulled her hands away first and led the way downstairs. Blue and the rest of the fairies were waiting in the study and Regina just gave Emma a small, encouraging nod before they entered the study together.

Blue took Emma aside almost immediate and quietly explained to her what she would need to do in order for the transferring spell to work. Regina just mentally crossed her fingers that this wouldn't take too much time or become too frustrating for all parties involved. She recalled the many magic lessons she'd had with Emma, many of those ending with them arguing and in certain cases, not speaking to one another for days on an end.

Tink motioned for Regina to step aside from the other fairies and further away from Emma that the room would allow them. "Are you okay, Regina?"

"I'm worried about her."

"I know. I am too, but I have no doubt that everything will be fine."

"I hope so."

"Can I ask you something?" Tink asked tentatively. "Are you and Emma—there is something more than friendship between you two now, isn't there?"

"This is something I wish not to discuss at the moment—"

"I'm just curious, Regina."

Regina clenched her jaw, but she relaxed as she looked over at Emma still talking quietly with Blue, a look of concentrated concern on her face. After a moment, Emma looked over Blue's shoulder at Regina and she saw how apprehensive Emma truly was about doing this spell to restore her magic. She offered a small, encouraging smile before turning her attention back to Tink. The look on Tink's face wasn't lost on her and she rolled her eyes.

"Don't say a word," Regina warned quietly. "Let's just get on with this spell. The longer we wait, the more nervous she is going to become and when she becomes nervous, she looses all control of her emotions and we cannot risk that."

"Okay," Tink smiled softly and motioned at Blue with a nod. "You'll both sit on the floor facing one another," she said and Blue gave Emma a slight nudge.

Regina reached out and took Emma's hands in her own and they both moved to sit down cross-legged and facing one another. Regina didn't let go of Emma's hands, feeling just how tense she was growing with every passing second. She licked over her lips and closed her eyes as Blue spoke quietly from behind Emma, whispering the incantation that Emma slowly repeated in a shaky voice.

Regina tried to focus on the feel of Emma's hands in her own and on her voice. She started to feel a slight vibration coursing through their joined hands and it was subtle at first, warm and smooth. She inhaled deeply, tasting the miniscule amounts of magic beginning to flow into her body through their joined hands. The moment she felt Emma start to pull back, she instinctively tightened her grip on her hands to keep her from pulling back in the middle of the spell.

Regina opened her eyes with a start when she felt a pulsing wave flood through her body, nearly knocking her breath from her and she watched as Emma's eyes flew open, her lips trembling as she shook her head slightly and tried to pull back once again.

"Don't break the spell," Blue warned as Emma turned to look at her and snapped her focus back on Regina. "Just let it flow through you, Emma. Don't be afraid of how it feels."

Regina felt her mouth grow dry as she watched Emma struggling to hold herself together. She tried to let go of Regina's hands once more and Regina let go when she saw the fear shining so brightly in Emma's wide eyes.

"I—I can't do this!" Emma gasped as she pulled back and clutched at her heart. "It's too strong."

"What is?" Blue asked gently.

"Everything."

Regina inhaled sharply, feeling the lingering magic inside of her, while miniscule, she could feel it inside of her and it was growing stronger by the second. Her vision swam slightly, the feeling almost overwhelming her, and she watched as Blue whispered something into Emma's ear as she knelt behind her that made that fear in Emma's wide eyes all but completely disappear.

"Let's finish this," Blue said as she rose to her feet. "Emma?"

"Okay. Okay," Emma nodded and held out her hands towards Regina. "Let's finish this. Regina?"

Regina reached out for her hands once more and the instant they touched, she could feel the spell instantly resuming where they had left off, without any incantations having been said. She watched as Emma closed her eyes, focusing all her attention to the spell and it was captivating watching her, seeing and feeling the intensity of the spell flowing through her body, her hands and into her own.

It was nearly as painful as it had been when Lily had extracted all of her magic all at once with just a kiss, it felt different, soothing in some ways, filling in other ways. She was filled with mixed emotions as well, the taste of the magic essence being transferred into her body tasted different, new. The excited chatter coming from the fairies as a mix of red, white, and grey surrounded both her and Emma was quickly drowned out by the sound of her own racing heart.

She feared for a moment that maybe this was all too much all at once and that at any given moment Emma would lose control. Yet, she still trusted her with everything she had and she had faith in her that she would not lose control, not now that the spell was at its strongest point. Regina inhaled deeply, her palms damp against Emma's and she relaxed, their palms now only just lingering, barely touching, but the magic continued to flow between them just as strong as ever. Emma shuddered suddenly, her hands grasping on to Regina's as a strong burst of energy flowed through them both and they both were thrown back a split second later.

"Emma?" Blue rushed over to her limp body on the floor while Tink ran over to where Regina was slumped up against the wall by the window.

"Regina, are you all right?" Tink asked as she knelt in front of her. Tink's voice sounded muddled and Regina lethargically nodded her head. "Regina?"

"Hmm?"

Tink reached for her hands and helped her to her feet. "Regina, say something."

"What?" She asked, her voice husky and slurred. She looked over at Emma, concern gripping her suddenly, and she pushed past Tink and strolled across the room to where Blue was gently shaking Emma, trying to get her to wake. "Emma?"

"She's unconscious," Blue said under her breath. "The end of the spell knocked her out."

"Did you know that would happen?"

"No," Blue said with a shake of her head. "We knew the risks," she said as she watched Regina place a hand tenderly on Emma's flushed cheek. "How are you feeling, Regina? Are you—has your magic been returned?"

"I'm fine," she replied, feeling light headed and dizzy as she gently stroked her fingers over Emma's cheek. "And it's not _my_ magic, Blue. It feels different. It _is_ different."

"Of course it's not your magic," Blue replied. "It's a piece of hers."

[X]

Emma woke with a startled gasp, the room she was in was dark, but the scent of the sheets were all too familiar and as was the softness of the mattress beneath her stiff body. She relaxed, but only for a moment before she sat up on the bed in a panic. The last thing she remembered was a strong burst of magic that had thrown her and Regina apart.

She fumbled for the lamp on the bedside table and switched it on, flooding the dark room with a soft, warm glow of light. She was alone and she hadn't expected that. She was alone and she thought that someone—anyone—would've been there for when she woke up. Her heart was racing as she scrambled to get up from the bed and she rushed towards the closed door, yanking it open to find none other than Tink standing on the other side.

"Emma, hey—"

"Where is she?" Emma asked as she placed her hands on Tink's shoulders. "Where is she? Is she okay?"

"Emma, she's fine. She's resting just like you should be right now. The spell, it was a lot more powerful than we thought and you both need to rest—"

"No," Emma said as she stepped past Tink. "I need to see her."

Emma checked all the rooms, finding each of them dark and empty. She shook her head and ignored Tink as she ran down the stairs, her knees growing weak as her body none too subtly reminded her of just how exhausted and drained she truly was. She headed straight for the study and threw open the door, startling Blue who was standing by the lit fireplace.

"Regina?" Emma murmured as she ran to the sofa where Regina laid, her eyes closed, her breathing even yet shallow. She dropped to her knees and took both of her hands in her own. Regina didn't stir and Emma inhaled shakily. "Regina?"

"She's unconscious," Blue said quietly from behind her. "We haven't been able to wake her. She lost consciousness shortly after you did."

Emma shook her head, her attention solely on Regina. Her lower lip quivered as she reached up to trace her fingers lightly over Regina's forehead. "Is this one of the risks?" Emma asked and she sighed as she turned to look back at Blue. "Is it?"

"It is not permanent, Emma," she said quietly. "The magic you transferred inside of her is quite powerful. Her body, her soul, it needs time to adjust. How much time, there is no telling."

"How long was I out for?"

"Almost a day," Blue replied. "You still need to rest. You're weak, exhausted, drained."

Emma shook her head and turned to focus on Regina once more. "I think you should go," she said quietly. "You shouldn't still be here, Blue."

"Emma—"

"Please," she pleaded. "Just go. The spell is done. You're no longer needed here."

Emma didn't move until she heard the front door click shut. She caressed Regina's face once more before she pulled her unconscious body up from the couch, grey smoke swirling all around them until they were no longer in the study, but in Regina's bedroom. She gently laid her down on her bed, watching her for a moment before she flicked off the light and crawled onto the bed beside her. She lay close, not quite touching her yet close enough to feel the warmth of her body. Even in the darkness she could see the soft features of her face and she wanted to lean over, to kiss her awake, but this wasn't something that could be fixed with a kiss.

She'd had to wait and after everything that they had gone through, she would wait for however long it took for the woman who had captivated her heart to gain consciousness once again. She thought of the consequences of doing the spell to transfer magic back inside of Regina and the fact that she had only deftly been explained how the spell would work, not of the risks they were both taking.

Was it all worth it? Just to give Regina her magic back? She traced her fingers over Regina's slightly parted lips, feeling her breath spilling past lightly. Regina had felt empty without her magic, that essence that had been a constant for most of her life, and despite not wording it, she had desperately wanted it back. Why she did, Emma knew maybe it was something she would never quite understand. She had her own magic inside of her, both light and dark, and while the feeling and the taste of it was so very new, she knew how empty she would feel if it were suddenly taken from her as Regina's had just days before.

Anger flared inside of her as she thought of the reason why they were where they were. Lily. It was all Lily's fault. The accident, Henry's death, the darkness and strong grip of grief causing her to spill an innocent man's blood to take his life. It was Lily's fault she'd become this way, it was Lily's fault that her relationship with Regina had become such a mess, one she was still certain they still had a long ways to go to get to where they'd been before. Even then they hadn't really been anywhere, maybe just the start of a relationship, but even then Lily had ruined it before Emma could even fully figure out just how she felt about Regina.

Emma exhaled sharply, struggling to stop the voices in her head from chattering on and pulling her in every other direction except for the one she wanted to go in. She laid her head down on the pillow next to Regina's and let her eyes flutter shut.

Yet her dreams didn't come easily nor did sleep, despite how restless and exhausted she truly was. She was all too hyper aware of the woman next to her and when she gave into the urge to wrap her arms around her, it was only then did she feel herself finally drifting off to sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

Regina was unconscious for almost another day and Emma barely left her side. She ignored the phone calls that came through on her phone and the house line, she even went as far as ignoring the knocks on the door and the ringing of the doorbell almost every other hour throughout the day. She knew it was one of her parents on the other side of the front door and one of them, her mother more likely, being the one who continued to call.

It was just after nine, the sun long having gone down, but Emma hadn't drawn the curtains back since she'd woken up the day before. She hadn't slept, barely ate, her only concern was for the brunette who had yet to wake. She groaned quietly as she smoothed a hand down Regina's arm, hoping this time she would stir. With a shake of her head she rolled off of the bed and headed for the shut bedroom door.

"Come on, Regina, you need to wake up. I'm starting to get worried about you," Emma muttered under her breath before she pulled the bedroom door open and slipped out into the hallway. She headed downstairs, her stomach grumbling in protest, but she just grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge without turning on the light in the kitchen.

"Hello, Emma."

"Jesus!" Emma jumped away from the fridge and fumbled for the light switch. "Ruby, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Checking in on you," Ruby replied from where she sat at the small table by the back door. "You aren't answering the phone or the door. Your parents are worried about you."

"Regina still hasn't woken up."

"She hasn't?"

Emma shook her head. "No, she hasn't. Ruby, how the hell did you get in here anyway?"

"Spare key," she said with a shrug and upon Emma's disbelieving look, she rolled her eyes. "I picked the lock, okay. We're all really worried about you, about both of you and you haven't been—god, you couldn't even pick up the phone, Em? Not even once?"

Emma sighed and leaned against the cupboards by the fridge. "Right now, the last thing on my mind is talking to any of you. You're worried about me? I'm worried about Regina. I don't know when she's going to wake up or how different she's going to be when she does, if she ever wakes up. I keep thinking maybe she should be in the hospital, but I can't even bring myself to take her there myself."

"Emma—"

"Everything is such a goddamn mess, Ruby," Emma choked out and Ruby was at her side in an instant. "We lost Henry because of that stupid bitch. Everything is just so fucked up right now and I don't know how to fix anything!"

"Em—"

"I could kill her. I want to kill her, but I—I can't do that, can I? I can't kill her because it is _wrong_."

"It might be wrong, but what if it is the only thing that can be done?" Ruby asked and it snapped Emma out of her trance. "Hear me out. Lily is being held in Regina's vault right now, magically restrained to protect us—and the rest of the world—from her. How long do we keep her there? She's already refused to eat, to drink. Essentially, she's killing herself and is a burden to us all. What if killing her is the answer, Em?"

"It can't be."

"What if it is?" Ruby asked and Emma shook her head no. "It won't be you. It doesn't have to be you, Em."

"Then who? Regina? You can't ask her to do something like that, to kill her."

"Not Regina either," Ruby sighed. "It could be anyone. We wouldn't even have to know—"

"No," Emma shook her head forcefully. "No, killing her is not the way."

"Your parents seem to think otherwise. They're planning on holding a meeting tomorrow morning. They're going to let the people vote."

"On whether to take someone's life or not?" Emma asked incredulously. "Has everyone lost their damn minds or something?"

Emma shook her head as she pushed away from Ruby. She twisted off the cap of the water bottle and downed the rest of it in one go. She was just so tired of everything that had happened and everything that kept on happening that she just wanted everything to be over, for everything just to go back to the way it'd been before. She knew it wouldn't happen that way, life was never that easy, and no amount of wishing would ever bring Henry back. Finding a way to turn back time so that they could've somehow stopped Lily from coming to Storybrooke at all wasn't ever going to be possible either.

"I think you should be there tomorrow, Em," Ruby said softly. "For the meeting. If you don't want them to kill her, you need to give them a reason not to."

"Aside from the fact that it's wrong? What other reason do they need?"

"She is the reason Henry is dead!"

"I know!" Emma yelled and she stormed over to Ruby and stopped just mere inches from her. She was breathing heavily as she pushed her up against the cupboard. "I know she is the reason my son is dead and I want her to pay for taking him from me, from us. Ruby, I—I don't know how to deal with this, with knowing he is gone and he's never coming back."

Ruby threw her arms around Emma, shushing her softly as she held on to her tight. "You don't have to do this alone, Emma. We're here for you. I'm here for you. You're not the only one who is grieving. We are all hurting right now and the only thing we can do is be there for each other."

"I know."

"You are one of the strongest women I've ever known, Em, and I know I can't understand how it feels for you, but you've got to fight to get through this."

"I'm just so tired of fighting all the time. All it ever feels like is that I'm fighting for something all the time and I am just so tired of it, Ruby. I'm so tired."

"Being with Regina, does it help?"

"Yes."

"Then just focus on that, focus on her. On what you two have," Ruby said as she leaned back and smiled warmly at her. "You two have something real, something deep, deeper than anyone else can understand. I know your parents aren't exactly thrilled about your relationship with Regina, but if you give them some time, they'll see for themselves that you two are good together."

Emma laughed in spite of herself. "I don't even know where Regina and I stand right now. She told me before we did the spell that she loves me. I—I never said it back."

"I'm sure she knows exactly how you feel about her even if you're not sure yourself. You love with your whole heart, Em, and when you love someone it shows. I think we all knew you were in love with her long before you two even had sex."

Emma felt her cheeks burn and she stepped back from Ruby. She fought the smile that nearly slipped out and sighed heavily. "We had sex a few days ago," she admitted quietly. "And it was amazing, Ruby. I just—I still feel so guilty for being happy when we were—and I feel like we don't deserve to be happy together, at least not right now."

"Why not, Em?"

"Because we just lost our son."

"That doesn't mean you can't find happiness with each other. You don't need to feel guilty for what, an hour spent fucking in bed made you feel happy and loved."

"Two days."

"What?"

"We spent two days in her bed," Emma murmured and Ruby squealed as she playfully slapped her shoulder. "Ruby—"

"You spent two days in her bed fucking?"

"Not the whole time, but yeah, we did."

"Emma!" Ruby laughed. "So, you don't know where you stand with Regina and yet you spent two days in her bed with her? I don't know whether to laugh at how ridiculous you're being or smack some sense into you or do both!"

"I thought you came here the check in on me, not gossip about my sex life."

"Can't I do both?"

Emma rolled her eyes and walked over to the fridge. She grabbed herself a beer and one for Ruby and this time she noticed the casserole dishes she hadn't noticed before. "Did my mother send you over here?"

"She might have," Ruby said with a small frown. "She's worried about you."

Instead of lashing out at Ruby, she twisted the cap off her beer and took a swig. She knew that everyone in her life was worried about her, especially after everything she had been through that had nearly destroyed who she was completely.

"She didn't ask me to fish for information about you and Regina, if that's what you're thinking."

"It wouldn't surprise me if she did."

"Well this fishing is all of my own," Ruby chuckled softly and she frowned suddenly. "Shit, Em, I'm acting like there isn't anything else going on in our lives, in _your_ life, and it's incredibly selfish of me to—"

"Don't worry about it," Emma cut her off with a shake of her head. "Maybe you should just go, Ruby. I haven't slept since I was knocked unconscious by the end of the spell."

"Tink told me what happened. What did it—"

"Ruby, can you please just go?" Emma asked, her irritation clearly showing now more than ever. She sighed as she took another sip of her beer. "While I appreciate your concern, you took it upon yourself to break in here just to check in on me, oh and not to mention bringing leftovers from my mother and then proceed to talk about my complicated relationship with Regina when it probably hasn't even dawned on you that the only thing I care about right now is not myself, but the woman who has been unconscious for the last two days! I don't care that you and everyone else are worried about me! Are they worried about Regina too? I can bet you they aren't, right?"

"Em—"

"Everything fell apart the minute that bitch crossed that bus over the town line and hit those boys. Everything fell apart the minute I saw her that morning in the hospital. Everything fell apart the very minute she fucking kissed me and I didn't do a goddamn thing to stop her!" Emma yelled, her whole body shaking. "But the truth is, everything fell apart the minute she kissed me that night and I landed in her bed and woke up with absolutely no recollection of what happened. I'm not the only one dealing with everything falling apart on me, Regina is too!"

"Em, would you shut up for a minute?" Ruby asked and Emma saw she was fighting the urge to slap her, hard. "There is so much more to this whole situation than any of us even know or can even begin to understand and yes, I get that you and Regina are there for each other right now and you feel like you don't need anyone else because you have her, but that's not true. You need more than just Regina right now. You need a friend."

"Meaning you."

"Yes! You need someone to talk to and don't tell me that you can talk to Regina because I am so sure that you couldn't say half the things to her that you just said to me without finding some kind of a way to avoid saying exactly what you feel and what you're thinking to spare any feelings of hers you think you might hurt. I know you, Emma Swan, and as much as you love with your whole heart, you guard yourself too much as well."

Ruby shook her head, took Emma's beer out of her hand, and placed both bottles on the counter. With a heavy sigh, she shook her head once more before continuing. "Your life is a mess, I know. Everyone's lives are a mess in one way or another. Look at Regina and her quest in finding her own happy ending and the author and how that didn't work out like she'd hoped, but that didn't stop her from living her life and not letting it bring her down. You need to take a page out of her book right now, Em, and stay as strong as I know you are."

Emma fell the swell of emotions building inside of her and yet whatever words she had on the tip of her tongue just didn't slip out easily. What Ruby was saying to her was so much more than the words she said, the meaning under what she was saying multi-layered and it hit her hard and deep. She struggled not to break down and to stay strong; to take control of her unhinged emotions in that very moment, knowing then that it was the only way she could take the next step forward instead of always feeling like she was taking two steps backwards.

"Look, I'm trying to understand what you're going through and where you are right now, I really am," Ruby said gently. "I'm not asking for you to let me in, but I want you to know that when you need me, I'm here, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm going to do my best to get Snow to back off a little bit, and not just her, but everyone else as well. Everyone is pushing you, just as they always do, and right now that's the last thing you need. I can see that now. I came here because I was concerned and I never meant for things to escalate like this, I swear to you that I didn't."

"I know, Ruby."

"You're my best friend, Em. I'm always going to be worried about you, concerned about you, no matter what is going on in your life. If Regina makes you happy, no listen to me," Ruby said as she stopped Emma from trying to get a word in edge-wise. "If she makes you happy, then that is all that matters right now, okay? Don't feel guilty for being happy when you're with her. Don't feel guilty for being in love with her. Just…let it be whatever it is, okay?"

"It can't be—"

"That easy? Why not, Em? For as long as I've known you, you've faced one situation after the other and you've always come out stronger in the end."

"Is this some kind of hero speech?" Emma asked with a roll of her eyes. "Do I look like I need some kind of hero speech right now?"

Ruby laughed. "It's not, no, but you know what's funny? You and Regina? You two are a lot more alike than I think you even know. Just…even though this is one of the roughest, hardest moments of both your lives, it's not wrong or selfish to grasp on to what is evolving between you two. Just remember that, okay?"

"I don't even know what is evolving between us."

"Emma Swan, don't make me slap some sense into you!" Ruby gasped, feigning shock as she clutched at her chest. "Regina is in love with you and let me tell you that she does _not_ love easily. I know you don't either. Henry brought you here, Henry is the reason you are here right now and Henry is the reason you found something _real_ with her. Everything has fallen apart, I know that it has, but there can be something good you can take from all of this, Em. It's her. You know, deep in your heart and beyond the darkness that was forced upon you, you _know_ that all Henry would've wanted was for you both to be happy. Happy together."

Emma bit her bottom lip and yet she knew Ruby was right despite the voices inside her head screaming at her and trying in vain to convince her otherwise. Those two days they had together, where the rest of the world had just fallen away, they had undeniably been the best few days of her life in recent memory. Her eyes widened when she realized that Ruby had made a point she'd been in denial about and still struggled with. She was in love with Regina Mills and when she was with her, the darkness that was inside of her was easier to control, to let go of almost completely.

She hugged Ruby tightly, whispering a soft "thank you" into her ear before she saw her out of the house and locked the door behind her. She headed up the stairs quickly and after a quick trip into the bathroom to rinse the taste of beer out of her mouth with mouthwash, she headed for Regina's bedroom and quietly climbed back into bed.

"Is she gone then?"

"Regina!" Emma turned to her in surprise. "You're awake?"

"Yes," she replied, her voice groggy and hoarse. "I've been awake for a short while. I couldn't help but overhear some of your conversation."

"Oh."

Regina sighed as she turned on to her side to face Emma fully. "How long have I been asleep?"

"A couple of days. How do you feel?"

"Exhausted," Regina replied softly. "And you?"

"Same," she frowned and Regina lifted a hand and placed it gently on her cheek. "I've been worried about you. Everyone else is worried about me, but all I can think about is you. I didn't know when you'd wake up, Regina. I was scared that maybe you wouldn't wake up at all."

"No need to worry any longer," she said with a rough, throaty laugh. "I'm awake, even if just barely." She paused as she sat up on the bed slowly and looked down at her clothes. "I think before you and I talk some more, I need to shower and get into clean clothes."

"Okay."

"You are more than welcome to join me," Regina purred as she headed for the bedroom door, her clothes falling to the floor with every couple of steps. "If you want to, of course."

Emma licked over her lips as Regina opened the bedroom door, her nude body illuminated by the light shining in from the hallway. Emma swallowed thickly, scrambling off the bed and out of her clothes as she followed Regina out of the bedroom. Regina laughed throatily as Emma wrapped her arms around her from behind just before she entered the bathroom.

The intimacy of the moment was not at all lost on either of them and as Regina turned in her arms and licked over her bottom lip, their eyes met in a heated, longing gaze. Regina ran her hands up Emma's arms slowly, eliciting a soft moan from her before she leaned in to place a soft kiss upon her lips that lingered for a moment. The level of intimacy far surpassed being sexual and there was absolutely nothing sexual about the moment they were having. It was something more and finally Emma came to realize the true depth of her feelings for Regina.

She had never been so in love with anyone, not the way she was with Regina. She could feel it just standing there with their arms wrapped around one another, lips a hairsbreadth apart. Regina had told her she loved her and hadn't held back or chose another way to word it. She had told her straight out that she loved her and Emma had yet to say the words back to her and mean them. With a small smile, Emma reached up to tuck Regina's hair behind her ear.

"I love you, Regina."

"I love you," Regina whispered back. "Come now, we should shower."

"Quickly."

"Yes," she smiled and stepped out of Emma's arms, her hand reaching for one of Emma's as she pulled her towards the shower stall. "Quickly and I don't know about you, dear, but I could eat."

Emma chuckled softly and wondered how they had just slipped into such an intimate moment with such ease, as if it were something they normally did every day together. Her emotions were still running high and the exchange she and Ruby had was still swirling in her mind. Yet it was easy to let the rest of the world fall away and submerge herself in the intoxicating woman who held her heart close to her own.

Something felt different with Regina too and it was something she'd noticed the moment she'd crawled back into bed in those few seconds before Regina had spoken. She had always felt a connection that flowed between them, right from the start, but it felt stronger, deeper, like they were more connected than they'd ever been before. It felt warm and it felt pure and in enveloped her completely. It felt overwhelming, but not in a way that felt heavy, but in a way that made her want to hold on to that feeling and never let it go.

They were kissing before they were even under the warm spray of water and it was Regina who put a stop to Emma's wandering hands, whispering promises of allowing her to have her naughty way with her after they were clean.

And Emma knew that she was definitely going to make good on that promise, even being as exhausted as she was. She had a feeling that neither of them was going to be sleeping much that night at all…and it was a welcome relief from the past handful of days, to get lost in one another over and over again.


	31. Chapter 31

It was early when Regina rose from the bed and dressed quietly, leaving Emma to sleep in a while longer. They'd had a long night together, one filled with lustful passion that left her feeling completely overwhelmed with emotions even hours afterwards. The connection she felt with Emma was heightened significantly and she knew the sole reason why was because she had some of Emma's magic inside of her.

It felt different and of course it was different, it wasn't much like her own in any way or form. While she wasn't out of control of the magic she now had inside of her, she wasn't in complete control of it either. It both intrigued her and worried her at the same time, mostly because she was uncertain of just what she was capable of with a piece of Emma's magic inside of her. There were many questions she had, questions she knew nobody would be able to answer for her. She'd have to find out for herself just how powerful the magic was inside of her and she would have to essentially learn all over again how to control it at all times, how to conjure spells with practiced ease, and more importantly, how to grasp onto the light while pushing the dark deep inside of her.

Learning how to control it would enable her to help Emma as well, and if last night was any indication of the days to come, they were both in for nothing short of a whirlwind, love, lust, and magic combined.

Regina paced the kitchen floor while she checked the messages on her phone and waited for the coffee to finish brewing. The messages were mostly from Tink and Blue, informing her of Lily's current status and every time she heard that woman's name, rage boiled inside of her, flooding white hot through her veins and she found it nearly impossible to remain calm. The last message, one from Astrid, concerned her the most, as she listened to the fearful whispered message and stopped pacing.

"Blue wants to try to reverse the spell, to take Lily's magic from her so she will pose no threat to us if the cuff and cell fail, but I fear that it may backfire and there is no way that I can convince her otherwise. Please, call me when you get this, Regina. We need to stop her from making such a grave mistake."

The soft click ended the message and Regina sighed as she hit end, exiting her voicemail inbox and she placed her phone on the counter with an unsteady hand. It was a bad idea and even she knew it was, because Lily was unlike anything any of them had ever faced before. Yet, despite her power, she was still _human_ and she could still be harmed as long as she was without the use of her own magic. She knew how much Emma wanted her to pay for infiltrating their lives the way she had, but she couldn't let Emma shed anymore blood on her hands.

It didn't help that everyone else, including herself, was against killing her. It seemed like an easy solution to a pain in the ass problem, but nothing in life was ever that easy anymore. They weren't in the Enchanted Forest anymore and she wasn't and hadn't been the Evil Queen in over thirty years. Still, she knew they'd have to deal with Lily one way or another and it would come down to ending her life just to protect the lives of others in the end.

"Please tell me the coffee is ready," Emma said groggily as she strolled into the kitchen, almost catching Regina by surprise.

"Almost," Regina replied and she was only mildly surprised when Emma leaned in for a soft, lingering kiss. "Good morning to you too."

"Couldn't sleep?"

"No," Regina said with a shake of her head. "It's rather early. Are you sure you don't want to sleep in a little longer, Emma?" Regina swallowed thickly at the predatory gaze in Emma's eyes as she was backed up against the counter. "Emma?"

"You should've woke me up if you couldn't sleep," Emma murmured as she wrapped her arms around her tightly, her body, clad only in a long t-shirt and nothing else, pressed up against Regina's as Emma leaned in to steal another kiss. "We could've picked up where we left off last night. In fact, why don't we do just that?"

Regina had learned, especially after last night, that when Emma let her walls down, she was completely and utterly insatiable. While she loved seeing her become so unhinged and open, there was just something that bothered her about the way Emma had suddenly started acting around her, something that she just couldn't put her finger on.

"Emma," Regina sighed, finding some sense of resolve as she placed her hands on Emma's hips and gently eased her away from her. "Perhaps we can continue this later. I want to talk to you about what I overheard last night when Ruby was here."

"Oh," Emma frowned and she stepped back from her completely, dejected and suddenly looking vulnerable.

"It is not that I do not want to," Regina lamented with a soft smile. "Because I do. Last night was nothing short of incredible, but I feel as if we need to talk."

Regina worried her bottom lip at the lack of expression suddenly on Emma's face. She knew how emotionally unstable Emma was and even though she had told her that she loved her and she had believed the words to be true from Emma's heart, she knew that if not for the conversation she'd had with Ruby that she may not have said those words at all.

When it came to love and being loved, it was when Regina felt the most vulnerable of all. Being loved by someone like Emma Swan was new and exhilarating, but it was also terrifying because in just less than a week they had jumped into things so deeply, she felt, and she was uncertain of whether they were taking things too far too fast after everything they'd been through.

Things grew silent in the kitchen as Regina made herself and Emma each a cup of coffee. She smiled at Emma as she handed her the mug, their fingers brushing slightly as Emma wrapped her hands around the mug. Regina inhaled and wet her lips, knowing they had to talk about what had transpired the night before, yet not quite sure how to begin. So, she started with what she'd been thinking of before, knowing even talking about their feelings for one another was rather risky.

"Did you mean it, Emma? What you said last night?"

"That I love you?" Emma asked and Regina, with mild surprise that Emma had guessed right away, nodded her head and sipped her hot coffee. "Regina, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. I do, you know. I do love you, I am _in_ love with you."

Regina cast her eyes downward and tried not to feel like she was a teenager all over again and falling in love for the very first time. They were at an emotional high with everything that was going on in their lives, and yet embracing that feeling of being in love was what brought every last feeling around full circle.

"How much did you hear last night when Ruby was here?" Emma asked, breaking the tentative silence between them. "And don't say that you heard enough. What did you hear?"

"When you two were talking about being happy," Regina replied and she glanced up at Emma before casting her eyes downwards once more. "Do you feel as if you don't deserve to be happy or that you cannot be happy…with me?"

"I feel guilty."

"Because of Henry."

"He'd want us to be together, wouldn't he?"

"This is our son we're talking about, of course he'd want us to be together," Regina replied with a smile that fell all too easily over her lips. "I have a feeling if he were still around, he would've done all he could to get us to where we are now, if not further than this point. He loved both of us so very much and as much as his happiness meant everything to him, ours meant the world to him as well."

Regina sipped her coffee before placing the mug down on the counter and approached Emma slowly. She waited for her to place her mug down before she reached for both of her hands and gently intertwined their fingers. "I know you feel guilty for what you feel right now, Emma, but just because we are grieving does not mean we cannot turn to one another to get through this."

"I know," Emma said, her voice quivering slightly. "I just want to stop feeling so guilty every time you make me feel just the tiniest flutter of happiness."

"It is not a feeling that will go away with ease."

"No, it won't," Emma nodded and she glanced down at their joined hands and gave Regina's a gentle squeeze. "Ruby asked me what we are together, what is evolving between us, and I couldn't answer her."

"Yet you wished you could've?"

"Yes," she said in a small whisper. "Regina, what are we to one another?"

"We are friends," Regina started, "we are lovers, we are partners, and we are—were Henry's mothers. We are stronger together and it is a shame it took us so very long to realize just that."

"But what are we doing, Regina?"

"Well," she said coyly as she glanced down at Emma's long, smooth legs and swept her eyes up appreciatively up her body until they landed on hopeful, green ones. "We are discussing the nature of our relationship over coffee in the kitchen and you, dear, seemed to forget to put on pants before you came down."

"Regina—"

"Do you need a title of sorts as to what we are?" Regina asked as it suddenly dawned on her that Emma did need just that. She needed a label, a title, something affirming that they were together. While Regina was perfectly happy just allowing them to be, allowing whatever would happen between them happen and almost always on Emma's advances, she'd give her whatever she needed to get past this fork in their relationship. "Emma?"

"You called us lovers, partners," Emma said quietly. "And that's exactly what we are, right?"

"You'd rather to be my girlfriend and I yours?" Regina asked and upon the small blush that crept over Emma's cheeks, she laughed and took one step closer to her. "Is that what you want? Do you want to—"

"Are you asking me out?"

Regina playfully rolled her eyes. "Formally, I suppose yes, but shouldn't that have come before we made love, hmm?"

"We kind of always done things a little backwards here, haven't we?"

"Yes," Regina said with a small smile. "But then again, despite everything that we have been through, I honestly wouldn't change a thing. Except for one."

"Henry."

Regina nodded, the smile fading just slightly. "Yes. Henry."

Emma let go of her hands with a slight shake of her head. Regina could see the emotion swirling in her eyes and she was careful to watch, to make sure the darkness didn't start to slip through in that moment. Yet she could feel and not just see, but truly feel how much Emma was struggling to fight that pull down into the darkness and she swallowed thickly, finding herself fighting that very same emotion, both hers and Emma's at the same time.

It was the same feeling she had felt before and she knew that this was something new and something that could potentially be one of many things, dangerous being the last thought that reached her mind. This was a connection unlike any other and there was absolutely no doubt in her mind now that it was because of the spell they'd done days before, but she'd be lying to herself if she hadn't felt it before—through magic as well, but also on a much deeper level.

In order to move forward, they had to get through what they were going through now and that was a long, hard road, but one she was more than determined to set out on without looking back.

[X]

Regina wasn't certain what compelled her to make the trip to her vault later that morning, but there was only one thing on her mind and that was answers. She was determined to get some answers from Lily and she was willing to do all that it took to get them. She knew on the drive to the cemetery that it was highly unlikely that she'd get a word out of Lily, but that hadn't stopped her from parking her Mercedes under the shade of a tree, the leaves having yet to fall from it.

She knew that Lily wasn't faring well being locked up and that it was her own doing. Food and water were brought daily and from what she learned, she hadn't accepted any of it since the day they took her down out in the woods and locked her in the cell down at the station.

Her grief had turned to anger throughout her conversation with Emma about him and as hard as it had been to talk about their son, it lifted some of the heavy weight from her heart. In order to get through the hardest moment in both of their lives, they had to fight through the grief, the pain, the anger, the emptiness in their heart and soul.

"Regina," Leroy grunted from his post just inside the door where he'd set up a plastic lawn chair just off to the side stairs that led down to her vault. "Any reason why you're here?"

"I'm relieving you of your duties," she said calmly and upon his disbelieving look, she rolled her eyes. "I didn't come here to kill her, if that's what you're thinking."

"If you ask me, sister, it'd be better if she were dead. Save us all a lot of trouble," he said in a matter-of-fact tone. He rubbed his round stomach before he stood up with a grunt. "I could use some lunch. Do what you came here to do. I didn't see nothing."

Regina nodded and stepped aside, not looking back as he exited and shut the door behind him on the way out. She inhaled deeply and headed down the stone steps, her hands shaking slightly as she struggled to control the fury that was building inside of her. She was careful to keep her steps light and quiet as she made her way through the quiet vault to the room where the cell had been fashioned to hold a woman far more evil and far more powerful than any of the realms had encountered before, at least on a first hand basis as they had in recent weeks.

From her vantage point, she could see Lily, but Lily couldn't exactly see her. Her jaw fell open in shock at the state the other woman was in. Her brown hair was wild and tangled, her skin pale and sickly looking and her eyes wild. In the flickering of the candlelight and the single torch that hung on the wall just to the left of the cell, she could see how bloodied Lily's arm was around the leather cuff, the deep grooves caused from her nails still bleeding, albeit slowly. The sight was that of a woman who had clearly driven herself to lose her mind completely.

"Do I bow or curtsey?" Lily growled lowly. The bars clattered as she gripped them tight.

"You will do neither," Regina replied in a calm, controlled voice as she stepped out from behind the pillar and in plain sight of the deranged woman. "I'd say you are looking well, but this isn't a personal visit to stroke that ego of yours, Lilith."

She laughed, almost cackled as she draped her arms over the bars and grit through the obvious pain the barrier was causing her. "Nobody has called me Lilith since those poor idiots who raised me had no idea what I truly was." She shook her head and stared straight into Regina's eyes. "If this isn't a personal visit, it's all business, isn't it?"

Regina casually crossed her arms over her chest, her hands flexing tightly as she controlled the urge to wrap her hands around her neck and snap it. "I came for answers," she said after a moment and Lily let out a sharp laugh as she pushed away from the bars roughly. "Answers you are going to give to me because there is nobody here to stop me from killing you if you don't."

"You'd kill me? And how do you think your darling love would feel about that, hmm?"

"It'd be better if it was me, not her."

"Right," Lily drawled as she carefully trailed her eyes over Regina's body in a way that made Regina feel sick to her stomach. "Because you have so much blood on your hands already, far more than _she_ does and you'd do anything to keep her from having to go through that again."

Regina clenched her jaw and dropped her hands to her sides. "What the hell are you doing in my town? I want the honest truth."

"Or what?"

With a wave of her hand, Regina sent Lily flying backwards into the stone wall, hard enough to break some of the stone and she kept her held there, an invisible force choking her. With wide eyes, Lily grasped at her throat and thrashed her legs as she dangled a few feet off the floor. Lily waved at her, a gesture that made her lower her hand and release her.

"Gold summoned me, but you already knew that."

Regina shook her head. "It's more than that. What are you doing in Storybrooke?"

Lily strolled towards the bars and gripped on to them tight, the blood from her gaping scratches dripping to the dirt floor slowly. "Power. What else? Magic here is far more powerful than anything I had ever experienced in all of my existence. I have known about this place from the very beginning of the dark curse. To say I haven't tried to find this quaint little town of yours is a drastic understatement. I may have been just a girl when I met Emma, but even then I knew she'd be key to bringing me exactly where I needed to be."

Regina cast her eyes to the metal tray of food on the floor to her right, the sandwich and soup untouched and cold and the glass of water knocked over, the glass itself cracked down the middle. She clenched her jaw and set her gaze on Lily once again.

"And Gold?"

"Rumplestiltskin wanted out, he wanted to be free of this place, free of magic, free to lose his mind anywhere else but here. He can't die here, but then again you already knew that, don't you? The magic in this town, the dagger, it all prevents him from taking his own life if he so wished to. He is done and that is why he sought me out because he found a way to bring the barrier down."

"Which failed."

"Did it?" Lily chuckled lowly. "Have any of you even gone to the town line to see for yourself if he truly failed in bringing it down? No, you haven't. Instead, you locked him up and threw away the key. Tell me, Regina, how is Emma these days, hmm? I imagine she's—"

"I didn't come here to talk about Emma."

"But you did, didn't you? You're worried about her, aren't you, Regina? You're worried about the darkness that lingers inside of her, swirling around not just in her soul but also in her heart, blackening it in ways she can never come back from. Oh, but then again you can understand exactly what that is like because your heart, your soul, it's a dark as they come, isn't it?"

Regina clenched her jaw and her fists, determined not to let the other woman turn this whole thing around on her as she was trying to do. "What was in it for you, aside from regaining your own power? What was so worth it for you to come here and destroy countless of lives? You did it for Gold? What did he offer you?"

"Her," she replied lowly. "He told me I could have whatever I wanted once he did what he needed to do and I chose her. Emma."

"Is that why you forced dark magic inside of her, to make her yours? You know you cannot make someone love you, Lilith. No magic in all the realms can make one willingly love another."

"Using the right tools of seduction can be wonderfully misleading and of course it was working until _you_ interfered."

"You killed our son!" Regina yelled and with a wave of her hand she brought Lily closer to the bars instead of flinging her back again. "You made her kill that man when he didn't deserve to die! You tried to destroy her and all for what, because you wanted her to be yours?"

Regina's hands shot out through the gaps in the bars and she wrapped her fingers tightly around Lily's neck. She was breathing heavily as she glared into the other woman's eyes and held on tight, tight enough to threaten her, not yet tight enough to squeeze the life out of her.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Regina continued, getting close enough to Lily that she could feel her sharp, ragged breath upon her face. "That plan of yours, it backfired, didn't it? Instead of having Emma coming to you, her heart set on seeking revenge over the death of _our_ son, she came to me. That was the last thing you wanted, hmm? For her to come to me because you know exactly how she felt about me and you felt threatened by it didn't you?"

"You think that she loves you?" Lily gasped and she tried to swallow against the grip Regina had on her throat. "She could never love someone like you."

Regina squeezed harder, blind rage flooding through her and making it impossible for her to stop. She would kill her if she didn't stop and just for a moment she didn't care if she did, nor did she pause to think of the consequences that would follow if she killed her. She would lose Emma and herself. She would lose the only pure love she'd ever known and all for what? The satisfaction of taking the life of the one responsible for the situation they were all in now? Killing her wouldn't bring Henry back and the only thing killing her would bring would be more bitter blackness in her heart and in her soul.

"Regina—" Lily struggled, grasping at Regina's hands as she squeezed a little tighter. "Regina, please."

"Are you begging for your life?" Regina seethed. "Because I am finding that there is no reason to let you live."

"If you kill me," Lily struggled, her short nails digging into Regina's wrists. "If you kill me, you'll never find him."

"Who? Never find who?"

"Henry," Lily gasped and she coughed as Regina suddenly let her go. "Henry. He's alive."


	32. Chapter 32

Regina backed away from the cell, startled, her body numb, her heart racing, her ears ringing. It couldn't be true, she was certain of it. It couldn't be true what Lily had just told her. Her son was _dead_, she'd buried him, watched the casket he was placed in be lowered into the ground. Her son was _dead_ and there was absolutely no way that he was alive.

"No," Regina said shakily. "You're lying."

"And if I'm not, you're just going to let him rot away because you don't believe me?"

"Why would I believe _you_? You were within an inch of your life and I can still take it from you. You would've said anything to save yourself."

"But you won't," Lily purred as she stroked her fingers over the bars. "You won't because a part of you, deep down inside, knows that I'm not lying."

Regina reached through the bars, grabbed onto Lily's shirt, and pulled her closer, eliciting a laugh from the clearly deranged woman. "What I do know is that you don't want to die and because you knew that I was so close to snapping your neck, you drudged up a lie and are now trying to convince me that my son is alive? I am going to take such sweet pleasure in ending your life."

"You kill me now and you'll never find him."

"Is this some kind of a sick game that you're playing?"

"Who knows," Lily teased as Regina let go of her once again. "It's up to you, Regina. Do you believe me or will you choose not to? It wouldn't take much for me to get the word out, the command to _kill_. I don't need magic or power for that, just a messenger of sorts."

Regina clenched her jaw tightly. Should she choose to believe her, she'd suffer the consequences herself. A part of her held on to hope that maybe she was telling the truth, that maybe Henry really was alive, but another part of her was screaming at her, reminding her that her son was dead. She'd seen it for her very eyes and she had suffered through the crushing heartbreak that his death had brought.

"I buried my son," Regina said through clenched teeth. "My son is _dead_."

"It wasn't him."

"I saw him!"

Lily shook her head. "A simple glamor spell," she said quietly as she tilted her head to the side and brought her hands up to rub over her sore, red neck. "Conjured up by Rumplestiltskin and myself and cast upon a boy who offered willingly, a boy no one would miss."

Regina stood expressionless, watching the other woman carefully. She knew that any being, human or otherwise, would do absolutely anything to selfishly save their own life. A hundred different thoughts were running through her mind and she was struggling with herself and whether or not she should believe her or not.

"Why would you do that?" Regina asked and Lily laughed, the sound of it sending chills down her spine. "Why would you do something like that? What purpose does that have for you?"

"Aside from the fact that I am what even evil fears itself?" Lily asked with a slight purr to her voice. "Because I needed her to break. We needed her to cast the spell to break the curse. We needed the Savior's heart to be as dark as an endless night. We needed her to _want_ her vengeance and to kill that man in order to begin the spell that would break the barrier around this town and release all of its magic into the rest of this poor, pathetic excuse of a world. Nothing would make her break apart completely other than the "death" of her precious son. So we made it be just that."

"No. No, this can't be true. Henry is _dead_!"

"He's not, Regina, and I can prove it to you."

"Why? What do you want?"

"Freedom."

[X]

Emma had felt uneasy from the moment she not only heard, but felt Regina leave the house without a word about where she was going. She knew she should've stopped her because she didn't need to be told where she was going, she just _knew_. She knew she shouldn't have let her go and yet a part of her knew that even if she had tried to stop her, Regina would've still gone to confront Lily in the cell down in her vault.

She held her phone in both hands as she sat on the stairwell steps. She had countless of messages from Ruby, both of her parents, and even a few from Tink. She scrolled through each text, mindlessly reading over each one before deleting them all.

Something else was bothering her and it was the very fact that the emotions she was now feeling, and the rush of adrenaline that came with them, were not those of her own. She knew Regina had a piece of her own magic inside of her now and Emma wondered if that was why they could feel each other so much more and on a much deeper level. She wanted to call Blue and ask her if that was possible, but the voice in the back of her head told her she didn't need to because she already knew the answer.

Sighing, she placed the phone beside her and ran her fingers through her hair. Her mind was reeling, playing over the many events that had unfolded in the last week and even before that if she was being completely honest with herself. For two years their lives had been normal, or something that at least resembled normal there in Storybrooke, and she—like all the others—had taken that time for granted. For two years she and Regina had been close friends and all of that had changed that night they'd been drinking and Regina had kissed her first.

That night had set a chain reaction off of sorts and one she wished was the only thing she was dealing with now, not with the tragic accident that happened in the week that followed, not with the death of their son, not with Lily and Gold and the dark magic that now resided inside of not just herself, but Regina as well. Yet there she was, dealing with everything and struggling to hold on to what was left of her strength, on the strength to go on, on the strength to fight the darkness, and most of all, she was struggling to hold on to the strength to _love_ Regina without any doubts.

She grabbed her phone, stood up from the steps, and walked down and into the kitchen where she grabbed an apple out of the bowl on the counter. She smiled to herself when she thought of those intimate moments she and Regina had shared, the ones that came without words, just emotion, pure love and lust driven emotion. She had never had a lover quite like Regina and she knew that it was the same for her as well. She wondered if that was what made everything so very intense between them, from each kiss, to each caress, to every thrust of fingers or tongues in their most intimate places. Every moment they shared between one another made her forget everything else and it made her feel as if she were living an entirely different life, even if just for a handful of hours at a time.

They had gone from denial, to struggling to deal with what they felt for one another, to fighting their attraction to one another. No, _she_ had gone through all of that and it was Regina who hadn't held back yet allowed Emma to take that next step, to allow to give her whatever she was willing to give. She was now more than willing to give Regina all of her and she had, at least she started to give her everything that she could and everything she was afraid of giving before. Even through the grief, she'd managed to find happiness and Regina was the reason for it completely.

As she took a bite of the honey-crisp apple, it dawned on her that she now could see herself spending the rest of her _life_ with Regina. Her heart was racing as she thought of that, a thought that had never happened with anyone else before. She had never been with someone like Regina before, she had never loved anyone the way that she loved her, and she most definitely didn't feel her emotions going every which way with anyone other than Regina Mills.

Yet, there was just one thing that would always be missing. Henry. Their son. Their family could have been complete if he wasn't gone and that would be a void they'd probably never be able to fill. A family was all she ever wanted her whole life and even though she had her parents now, it didn't feel the way she'd always dreamt for it to feel.

She knew now why she'd been so afraid of how she felt about Regina before and it was because she'd known that what they could have together was real. She knew now that even though she had slipped and allowed the darkness to take over, it was Regina who had kept her head just above the water and kept her from drowning, from losing herself completely. She didn't know how things would've turned out if she didn't give in and let Regina save her from herself. She was almost afraid to think of what would've happened and where she would be in that very moment.

She silently promised herself, as she took another bite of the apple and chewed slowly, that she would no longer deny any of her feelings for Regina from that very moment onwards. She promised herself that she would embrace whatever Regina gave her and return it tenfold. She promised not to believe that she didn't deserve Regina because she did. They were both broken and in ways they weren't fixable but in other ways they were, but only if they were together.

They would always be stronger together. As one.

Emma jumped when she felt the prickle of magic start at the base of her spine and move through her entire body and she spun around as the slate grey smoke cleared where Regina now stood. She smiled, one that quickly faded when she saw the look in Regina's eyes and she dropped the apple as she approached her, her body feeling numb as she reached out for her.

"Regina?"

"Emma, he—"

"What?" Emma asked when Regina grasped at her heart and inhaled shakily. "What, Regina? What's going on? Where did you go?"

"I—he—"

"Baby, breathe," Emma murmured and the pet-name caught Regina off guard, eliciting a confused and surprised look that overtook the panic in her eyes just for a moment. Emma shook her head and rubbed over her arms and shoulders. "What happened?"

"It's Henry," she said with a gasp and Emma felt the tears welling her eyes just as Regina's own spilled down her cheeks. "She told me he's alive."

Lily.

"You believe her?"

"I almost killed her."

"And she told you that our son is alive to save her own life?" Emma asked and she sighed incredulously. "And you believed her?"

"Yes," Regina muttered and shook her head. "No. I don't know. I don't know what to believe, Emma! I want to believe that it's true, but I—"

"Henry is dead. We buried him what, a week ago? Regina, we saw him in that casket. I saw him that night in his room. It was him and he's—"

"She told me they used a glamor spell. It only _looked_ like our son."

Emma shook her head in disbelief. "No, no, I would've known it was a trick."

"Would you have? Because I certainly did not!"

"Say you believe her and I believe it too, where is he?" Emma asked and Regina took another sharp breath. "Did she tell you? Do you know where he is?"

"Yes. She told me, but only for a price."

Emma gasped and shook her head. "No, tell me you didn't."

"She's not out of that cell, if that's what you're thinking," Regina snapped. "I wouldn't give in to her demands for freedom."

"Not until we have our son back," Emma finished for her, saying the words she knew Regina was struggling with in that moment. "No, she doesn't get to walk free, not even if she's telling the truth and he's really alive. No," Emma shook her head furiously and she only stopped when Regina reached up to cup her face with both hands firmly. "No, she's not going to win! She is not going to walk free, not after everything she's done and everything she's put us through!"

"We'll think of something, Emma, I promise you."

"Where is he?"

[X]

Neither had told a soul the information that Regina had found out and neither had told a soul that they were going to save their son. Together they transported nearby the very spot where Emma had ended Larry Eckert's life while under that spell, and it was Regina who had managed to stop her from once again losing herself when she saw the blood still on the ground in the very spot the man had taken his last breath.

"Emma, please," Regina pleaded as she pulled her away from the spot and forced Emma to face her. "Please, don't think about that right now. Focus. Focus on trying to find our son."

"What if it's a trick?"

"She's locked up, rendered useless of magic. Gold is—"

"Locked up in the asylum, I know, but what if someone else is working with them? Did you even stop and think about that? What if there is someone else—"

"If it is a trick and there is another, we will fight. Together," Regina said determinedly. "It is what we do best, isn't it, Emma? We fight better together. We're stronger _together_."

Emma nodded, but Regina knew where her mind was and she took Emma's hand in her own and led her away while focusing on feeling her surroundings. Even though the magic inside of her was different, it was easy to get a good feel of it, to learn how to control it. Knowing that, she wondered why it was just so difficult for Emma before to learn how to cast different spells. It truly had to be her emotional state, but now was not the time to delve into the why's and how's, not when they had to find their son.

The cabin should be near, that she knew and if she trusted what Lily had told her. She looked for the neat row of four pine trees and just at the edge of the clearing she saw them. Leading the way while still holding on to Emma hand tight, she walked across the smooth grassy ground and came to a stop when she felt a shimmer of magic barely five feet ahead of them.

"Regina, do you feel that?"

"I do."

"So she wasn't playing a game and lying to you?" Emma looked so confused and Regina shook her head no. "What do we do now?"

"We bring the cloaking spell down together."

"How?"

Regina let go of Emma's hand and lifted both up in front of her. She could feel a pulse of magic and she focused on that feeling, trying to figure out just what kind of a spell it was. She glanced at Emma and motioned for her to do the same thing, knowing Emma was more attuned to breaking unfamiliar spells cast by others. Regina watched as the shimmer of the spell appeared in front of them and she focused on the feeling inside of her that she knew was coming from Emma and together, the brought down the powerful cloaking spell, revealing a small cabin by the tree line.

Regina reached out and grabbed on to Emma's arm before she could charge towards the cabin. With a shake of her head she pulled her back. "We need to be cautious, Emma. We have no idea who or what is waiting on the other side of that door."

"Whoever it is, I'm going to kill them."

"No," Regina said firmly. "We need to approach with caution."

Emma nodded and pulled out her handgun from the back of her tight jeans. "Right, with caution."

Regina wanted to stop her, but when Emma got like this, there was no stopping her and there as no point in even trying. She followed her towards the three steps that led up to a narrow porch and they were careful to keep quiet. Emma motioned for her to stay behind her and despite knowing she could protect herself with magic, Regina stayed behind her.

The anticipation was building and she found herself so desperately wanting to find out what waited for them on the other side of the door. Regina knew just who would be waiting behind the door, but there was a reason she hadn't told Emma.

_"__Henry is alive? Is he really alive? He's been alive this whole time?" Regina asked, her whole world feeling completely shaken. "Where is he?"_

_"__He's being kept in a small cabin in the woods," Lily replied, smirking as she trailed her fingers over the iron bars. "Wouldn't you love to know just who is keeping a keen eye on your son?"_

_"__Do I have to guess or are you going to tell me?"_

_"__I'm sure you already have an answer."_

_"__Hook."_

_Lily laughed and pointed at her. "You're smarter than I took you for, that's for sure, Regina."_

_"__If you are lying about any of this, I swear to you that I will come back here and kill you."_

_"__Isn't that what you came here to do in the first place, Regina?" Lily taunted her and she licked over her dry lips as a spine-tingling laugh escaped mirthlessly. "No, you didn't come here to kill me, did you? You came here for answers, answers to questions you didn't get to ask, hmm?"_

_"__Why?"_

_"__Why? Why fake your son's death? Emma needed to be pushed over the edge. The dark magic couldn't surface past the pureness of her heart and soul and she needed a little…push."_

_"__Where is my son?"_

_"__I told you."_

_"__Where in the woods?" Regina asked through gritted teeth. "Lilith, where have you been keeping my son? If you did anything to him, harmed him in any way—"_

_"__You'll kill me," she finished for her. "Do you remember the day you watched your sweet Emma kill that man? Not too far from there, there are four pine trees at the edge of the tree line and that is where you'll find the cabin your boy is being kept in. It's protected, cloaked, by a powerful spell, but I'm sure with you and Emma combined, you'll figure it out."_

_Regina clenched her jaw tight and with a wave, she sent Lily crashing back against the wall. She left her, listening to her anguished laughter echoing throughout her vault as she rushed towards the stairs. She had to get to Emma and they had to go get their son. She didn't want to wait any longer than was necessary, but she also knew she could not tell Emma that Hook was working with them, that it was Hook that had been keeping their son captive in the cabin out in the woods._

_If she knew, she'd stop at nothing to kill the man who had once followed her around like a lost little lovesick puppy dog._

_She nearly lost Emma before to the darkness and she wasn't going to risk losing her again._

"Regina?" Emma whispered, pulling her thoughts back down to earth. "Regina, are you ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," she whispered back, holding out her palm and watched as a small ball of fire settled into place.

Emma inhaled deeply and lifted her right foot, ready to kick down the door. Regina waited with bated breath and her heart began racing wildly as soon as Emma brought her foot down against the door, the wood splintering with ease where it'd been locked. She was right behind Emma as they stormed into the cabin together and she dropped her hand, the fireball disappearing in an instant as she walked into Emma's back.

Regina watched as Hook scrambled up from the floor where the chair he'd been dozing in had tipped back. Emma shakily held her gun, keeping it trained on the startled pirate. He grinned as he dusted off his jacket and held his hand out towards her.

"Emma, love, what brings you—"

"Shut up!" Emma snapped. "Where is he?"

"Where is who?" Hook asked innocently, but the smirk on his face wiped away the innocent act he was playing. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Why don't you put the gun down—"

"No!" Emma shook her head and took a step forward, aiming the gun for the middle of the pirate's chest, her hand steady now as she pointed the gun at him. "Where the hell is my son?"


	33. Chapter 33

Emma tightened her grip on her gun, struggling not to pull the trigger despite the white-hot anger that flooded through her body from the very moment she laid her eyes on Hook. She glared at him, watching his feeble attempt at holding her back with his outstretched hand held up in front of him, his hooked hand tucked behind his back.

"Swan, if you'll give me a minute to explain—"

"You will explain nothing until you tell me where the hell my son is!" Emma said through gritted teeth, her grip tightening more. "Tell me. Now!"

Emma slipped her finger over the trigger and squeezed, but the gun disappeared from her hand before she could pull the trigger. She spun around to glare at Regina from behind her and with a guttural growl, she charged towards the pirate, tackling him to the dusty wooden floor. She let her anger free, her fits balled tight as she swung at Hook's face.

"You bastard!" Emma screamed, throwing another hard punch to his jaw. "Where the hell is my son?"

Hook laughed and spit out a mouthful of blood to the side, unmoving as he lay beneath Emma. He wiggled his eyebrows and thrust his hips upwards, causing Emma's stomach to churn in disgust as she scrambled to get off of him.

"You're sick."

"Nah, just a little worked up, love. Been a while since we had a roll in the sheets."

Emma swallowed thickly, grabbed the front of his vest, and pulled him to his feet. "We never had a roll in the sheets, Hook. I would never let you touch me, not like that."

Hook laughed and licked over his bloodied lips. "Now, now, no need to be modest in front of the Queen, hmm. Surely she knows what the nature of our relationship was when we were together, no?"

Emma didn't—couldn't—look back at Regina and instead she punched him again, the hard right hook catching him off guard and his head snapped to the side with the force. While he stumbled back, stunned and clearly in pain and clutching his jaw with his right hand, Emma held out her own hand and focused hard, her magic, light and dark swirling around inside of her, teetering on the edge of falling into the never-ending downward spiral where her emotions ran rampantly out of control.

"Emma, no!" Regina yelled out as her gun reappeared in her hand.

"Gonna shoot me, love?" Hook smirked as he dropped his hand from his red, swollen cheek.

"You don't get to stand there acting like the smug son of a bitch that you are and not tell me where my son is!" Emma growled as she gripped on to her gun tight and stalked towards him, her hand shaking slightly as she pressed the tip of the gun to the left side of his face.

"You shoot me and you'll never find him."

"I'm willing to take that risk."

Emma was torn and angry. She fought the tears that threatened to spring to her eyes, holding firm to the anger that bubbled beneath her skin because of him. She shifted the gun in her hand as she took a step back, the smell of rum on him making her feel nauseous. Her grip tightened once more, her finger settling on the trigger, ready to pull it without a second thought.

"Emma," Regina whispered softly as she placed a hand on her shoulder. "This is not the way."

"She's right, love."

"Shut up!" Emma screamed and she shrugged off Regina's hand from her shoulder, grabbed Hook's vest, and shoved him up against the wall behind him. "Stop calling me that! We are over. We have been over for a long time! What we had was nothing!"

"Still trying to convince yourself that, hmm?"

"I did not come here for you, I cam here for my son," she said through gritted teeth, pressing the tip of the gun to his swollen cheek once more. "Where is he?"

"Safe."

"Not the answer I'm looking for, _Killian_," she growled. "Where the hell is he?"

Hook smirked and waited for her to lower the gun away from him face before he nodded towards the fallen chair on the floor. "Cellar door is under that rug. You'll find your boy down there."

Emma shook her head and placed the gun to his cheek once more. "If you are lying, I swear to you, I will kill you and I will not let anything or anyone stop me."

"Sure about that, Swan?"

"Yes."

"Emma, that is enough," Regina said as she grabbed the back of her jacket and pulled her away from Hook. "Emma, look at me," she said as she grabbed her chin and forced Emma to look into her eyes. "Put the gun away."

"Yes, Swan, put the gun away, no need for—"

Emma didn't let him finish, she swung the gun at his face, the butt of it hitting him square in the temple and he fell unconscious to the floor hard. She was shaking as Regina placed both hands over hers and pried her fingers from around her gun, taking it from her and without resorting to using magic as she had before. She watched with tear-filled eyes as Regina slipped the safety on and tossed the gun towards the cot that was near the door.

"Emma, please," Regina murmured as she grabbed on to her shoulders. "Don't give in to that feeling. I won't let you kill him."

"I wasn't going to kill him."

"Didn't look like that from where I was standing," Regina sighed and she glanced down at Hook's unconscious body. "What are we going to do with him?"

"We can't just leave him there."

"No," Regina nodded in agreement. "We cannot. I propose we tie him up in case he wakes any time soon. You hit him rather hard."

Emma laughed dryly as Regina leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. Neither said another word as they moved Hook into the chair he'd been dozing in when Emma kicked down the door and startled him awake. Regina found some old rope hanging on the wall and used it to tie Hook tightly to the chair while Emma stood back and watched.

Her hands were shaking and she shoved them into the pockets of her leather jacket, trying in vain to keep calm against the raging storm of emotions she was feeling. She had almost killed him and she would've if she had been there alone. She would've pulled the trigger in her white-hot rage and killed him. She _wanted_ to and she was still fighting the urge to retrieve her gun from where Regina had tossed it and pull the trigger.

The voices inside her mind taunted her, dared her to do just that, but her heart pulled her back from the darkness swirling inside of her, her soul saved herself from falling into that endless pit of despair and unbridled anger. She was so torn and the only thing that had saved her from taking another life had been Regina.

"Emma?" Regina whispered as she stood in front of her. "Hey, are you all right, darling?"

"I'll be fine once we find him," she replied quietly, peering over Regina's shoulder and over at Hook as he began to wake. "Moment of truth," she said as she stepped past her and pulled the dirty, dusty rug off the floor and tossed it to the side.

"Emma?" Hook groggily opened his eyes and looked at her as he fought against his restraints.

"Shut up."

"What are you doing?" He asked, tugging harder against the ropes. "Untie me at once!"

"No!" Emma yelled as she stormed over to him and grabbed his leather jacket with both hands and jerked him back against the wooden chair hard. "You don't get to speak. You are working with _them_! I cannot believe you!"

"Them? There's only one I've been working with and it's been this pretty, sassy, powerful young woman with balls of steel, one you let into your bed and between your legs from what she—"

Emma backhanded him to shut him up. "She was a mistake," she said lowly. "A very big mistake, just like you were."

"You loved me once."

"No," Emma said as she got closer to him. "I never loved you. How could I have loved you when I saw you for who and what you truly are?"

"And you don't see _her_ for what she once was, hmm?" Hook asked as he glanced over at Regina and with a knowing, self-satisfied smirk he blew a kiss at Emma. "She's just as bad as I've ever been, love, and yet you trust her. Love her, even."

"How do you even—"

"I've got eyes, Swan," he leered. "Ears too. So, tell me, love, what makes her so special?"

"We're not talking about—"

"Emma," Regina said from where she stood where the rug had once laid on the floor. "There is nothing here," she said as she pointed to the wood floor. "Where is our son, Hook?"

"I told you—"

"Where is Henry?" Emma yelled as her hand shot out and grasped onto his throat. "This is just some kind of a sick game, isn't it?"

Her mind flashed to every scenario she could think of, the main one being that they'd been led on, led to believe their son was alive and behind held there in a dusty, dank cabin while Lily escaped. If Hook was working with her, there was no telling who else she'd employed, willing or not. She let go of Hook's throat with a grunt and stared down at him, wanting nothing more than to wipe that smirk off his face for good.

"In my pocket," he muttered and glanced down at his chest. "There," he nodded to the pocket on his left. "The spell."

"What?"

Hook rolled his eyes. "The spell that keeps the lad hidden from plain sight. It's in my pocket."

Emma roughly reached into the pocket and pulled out the folded paper. She backed away from him, her hands shaking as she unfolded the paper. On it were words she didn't understand, written in a different language that might as well have been gibberish to her. She turned to Regina and watched as she gently eased the paper from her fingers and read over it quickly.

"Simple enough," Regina said under her breath. "I should've known."

"You can read that?"

"Yes," she said as she looked at her and folded the paper up. "I can do this on my own, but I believe it might be better if we do this together. It is, after all, your magic that resides within me."

"But I can't read this," Emma said as she glanced at the folded paper.

"You don't need to understand the words to know how the spell works."

Emma blinked, but she understood just what Regina had said, the deeper meaning of it all. She walked over to where she'd pulled the rug back and inhaled sharply as Regina reached for her right hand. Upon Regina's subtle nod, she focused on the flow of magical energy coursing through her body and the heat of Regina's hand in her own. She thought of Henry, of seeing him again, of hearing his voice and his laughter again. She thought of how much pain she had felt since that night and how in a matter of minutes, seconds even, that pain would be gone.

"Emma, open your eyes," Regina whispered and she squeezed her hand. "Emma?"

"Hmm?" Emma asked, her eyes fluttering open. "Did it work?"

"Yes."

Emma blinked and looked down at the floor, at hatch now in clear view. She trembled as she looked over at Regina and wet her suddenly dry lips with the tip of her tongue. She let go of Regina's hand, instantly missing the warmth and stability it had given her. Her heart was thundering in her chest and she looked at Regina, seeing nothing but anxious anticipation in her eyes. Together they moved towards the hatch and Emma bent down to pull at the handle, unlocking it with a shaky breath.

Regina's hand fell to her shoulder and there it was, the moment of truth. She pulled open the hatch and stood back as it fell open against the floor, dust rising rapidly all around them. Regina grasped onto Emma's arm as they both took a step forward.

"Henry?" Regina asked with a nervous shakiness to her voice. "Henry, are you down there?"

Regina's grip on Emma's arm tightened as they waited, the cabin cloaked in heavy silence. Emma stepped forward, half a step, just enough to peer down into the cellar. It was dark and even with the faint light inside the cabin, she couldn't see much of anything. Her heart started to drop into her stomach as she turned back to look at Regina.

"It was a trick—"

The words died on her tongue when they both heard it. It was faint, but it was there. The sound of Henry's voice weakly calling out for one of them, both of them, "Mom?"

"Henry!" Regina let go of Emma as she rushed forward and with a flick of her wrist, light encased the small cellar and Emma was almost afraid to look, afraid her eyes were deceiving her, but when she did, she saw her son, their son, dirty and disoriented, the cast on his arm chipped away in small spots. "Henry!"

"Mom!"

"Henry!"

Emma pulled her arm free from Regina's tight grip and she hurriedly scrambled down into the small, shallow cellar, standing face to face with her son who had until that very moment, believed to have been dead for the past week.

"Henry?" Emma whispered, his name barely but a whisper as she reached out for him, wondering if this too was a trick, a game. But he was real as her hands fell to his shoulders and then up to cup his dirty cheeks, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her fingertips. "Henry, is it really you?"

"Mom, it's me," he chuckled wetly as the tears spilled from his eyes. "You found me."

"Yes, we did."

"What's going on?" Henry asked softly as he looked up at his other mother watching from above.

"It's a long story," Emma replied. She couldn't stop the relieved laugh that escaped past her lips and she wrapped her arms around her son tightly. "Let's get you out of here, okay?"

Emma carefully helped Henry climb out of the cellar and the moment he was on his feet, Regina was checking him over and using a handkerchief she'd pulled from her jacket pocket to wipe at the dirt on his cheeks. Just as she was about to smile at the motherly way Regina was acting towards their son, her attention turned to Hook as he struggled to free himself from the chair he was tied down to, the ropes not giving an inch despite his attempts.

Emma shook her head as she rushed to the cot and grabbed her gun, flicking the safety off as she stalked towards him, ignoring the terrified look on her son's face as she passed by him. She cocked the gun and held it to Hook's head, her hand not shaking but steady.

"I could kill you for doing this to us," she said through gritted teeth. "Do you have any idea what we've been through because we thought he was dead?"

"Swan, let me explain—"

"Explain what?" Emma snapped. "Explain how easily you were manipulated by _her_ and readily agreed to doing this?" Emma asked as she waved her left hand around, indicating the cabin and her son who stood by Regina's side, watching it all unfold. "Explain how you had no sense of conscious about what this did to us, to me?"

Hook just stared up at her, the steely glare that had been there faded as their eyes met, that glare replaced by a look she hadn't seen in years and one that made her feel nauseous once again. She pressed the gun harder against his forehead and watched as a single bead of sweat rolled down the left side of his face.

"I know who she is, what she is," Hook said quietly. "She asked this of me because she knew I wouldn't refuse. You _hurt_ me, Swan."

Emma rolled her eyes but she didn't say a word, didn't move a muscle, never let the pressure of the tip of the gun slip away from his now sweaty forehead. It'd been two years and she scoffed at the notion that he was still hung up on her and the sorry excuse of a relationship they had pursued for a small period of time.

"She made me believe this would help ease the pain," he continued and Emma shifted her stance, suddenly feeling uncomfortable being in his presence with Regina and Henry a few feet away and hearing every word. "I believed her like a fool," he sighed. "I did this for you."

"You held my son captive for me?"

"I did it to make sure nothing would happen to him, Swan!" Hook yelled and he trembled as Emma held the gun firmer against his forehead. "I was waiting for _her_ to kill the bitch." His gaze rested on Regina and he laughed as he looked up at Emma once again. "I was waiting for her to be gone before I returned your son to you, completely unharmed of course. If it wasn't I who agreed to this plan, this game, I am more than certain that he wouldn't even be alive."

"Whose side are you on?"

"Yours!" He seethed and she shook her head. "I've always been on your side, Swan. You trusted me once, or have you forgotten?"

Emma clenched her jaw tight before she pulled the gun away from his forehead. "I haven't."

"She couldn't do it, could she?" Hook asked as he looked over at Regina once more, Emma's own gaze following his and she sighed as she looked at Regina, saw her fighting a string of emotions that showed freely in her eyes. "She couldn't kill her. She doesn't have it in her anymore, does she?"

Regina shook her head and Emma looked back down at Hook, her hand shaking as she tightened her grip on her gun. Her vision swam as she took a step back, realizing what she had almost done, the weight of it causing her to choke back her tears and fight the nausea swimming through her body. With her thumb, she clicked the safety back into place, but held the gun firmly in her shaking hand.

"I want to help," Hook said, breaking through the silence in the room. "You want her gone but neither of you can do it, can you?"

"She's—"

"Locked up, without her power, yes. For now," he said lowly. "But you can't keep her there forever, can you, Swan? You know you can't. You know what needs to be done. It may not feel like the right thing, but in this case, you know it is. Deep down you know the right thing is to kill her and set yourselves free from her for good."

"We're not killing her."

"Who?" Henry asked quietly and Emma ignored him.

"We're not," she said firmly as she stared down at Hook.

"No, _you're_ not going to kill Lily," Hook said and that sly, self-assuring grin slipped over his lips with ease. "I am."


	34. Chapter 34

Regina didn't trust him and she knew from the torn look in Emma's eyes that she didn't trust him either. The events that unfolded from the moment Emma had kicked down the cabin door swirled in her mind, from the way Hook reacted at first to the one-eighty he displayed after they'd found Henry and brought him out of the cellar safely. While she was overcome with emotion and joy at seeing her son alive and well, albeit exhausted and dirty and in need of a warm, home-cooked meal, her focus was now on Hook and what his true intentions truly were.

She knew that if she were in his current predicament, she'd say anything to save her own life, even if it was stemmed in lies.

She gently rubbed Henry's shoulders, smiling as she took in the sight of her son. She could hardly believe her eyes that he was truly there and alive. She leaned in and placed a kiss on his forehead, one he didn't back away from like he normally did.

"Mom? What's going on?"

"We'll explain later," she whispered as her eyes drifted over to where Emma still stood in front of Hook. "I promise, we'll explain everything later, Henry."

"I know you don't trust him," Henry said softly. "But he kept telling me he'd take care of things. He told me I was safer here. He told me he had to let _her_ think he was on her side when he's been on your side all along."

"What do you know, Henry?"

"I know that Lily isn't who I thought she was," he said quietly. "Is she really evil?"

"Yes, she is, Henry."

"And she's locked up in your vault?"

"For the time being, yes," she replied with a nod, wondering now just how much Hook had told Henry, but she knew it wasn't much or else Henry wouldn't have asked her what was going on. She ran her fingers over his head and sighed. "We'll explain everything when we get home, okay?"

"Are we going home now?"

"In a moment," Regina nodded. "Just stay right here, Henry."

Regina walked towards Emma and placed a gentle hand on her tense shoulder. Emma turned to her and teary eyes locked with hers in an intense gaze. "I don't know what to do," Emma murmured under her breath. "I don't know what to do, Regina."

"Trust yourself because I think you know exactly what you are going to do," she whispered and she ran her hand from her shoulder down her back in a soothing manner. "Or rather," she said with a pregnant pause as she shifted her gaze over to Hook, "what _he_ is going to do."

Emma sighed as she reached up with her left hand and ran her fingers shakily through her hair. She shook her head before she placed the gun into the back of her jeans and pulled her jacket over it, concealing the weapon once more. She turned to Hook as Regina's hand fell away from her back and glared down at him.

"If this is all just some kind of a sick game you're playing, next time I pull my gun on you, you're dead, do you understand?"

"Yes."

"How do I know I can trust you?" Emma asked. "One moment you're acting like a sleaze and—"

"I've had a bit too much to drink, love," Hook chuckled dryly. "You should know me by now when I've taken to my flask, things get a little washy and the Captain comes out in droves."

Regina saw the way Emma rolled her eyes at his answer and she moved to the back of the wooden chair, her hands hovering just over the tight knots in the rope that bound him. Regina stared into Emma's eyes, feeling her swirling emotions as if they were her own. Emma knew what had to be done, but she didn't trust the pirate just as she did not trust herself.

"Come on, love, you know me. You can trust me. I'll take care of Lily, make her pay for all that she has done."

"I told you not to call me that anymore," Emma said lowly and Hook tried to turn to look back at her and gave up with a sigh when he found it impossible to. "If I let you go and trust you when you say you are on our side, you don't move until I tell you to. Understand?"

"Yes."

Emma looked over at Regina again and upon her slight nod, Emma pulled a pocket knife out of her jacket and made quick work on cutting through the rope to release Hook. He rolled his shoulders once he was free, but he didn't move and his eyes were trained on Regina for those few lingering moments before Emma stood at her side.

"Before you say a word," Emma said as she held a hand up to him, "you are going to come with us and you are going to explain everything."

"Going to let me talk this time, Swan?"

"Yes," Emma said through gritted teeth. "I'll let you talk this time and no games, Killian. I want to hear everything and nothing but the truth."

"But not in front of the lad, hmm?"

"No."

"Can we go home now?" Henry asked, his voice sounding tired and weak. "Mom?"

Regina turned to look over him just as Emma did. "Yes, we can go home now. Emma?"

"I got this," Emma said. "Go. Take him home. We'll be right behind you."

With a nod, Regina reached out for Henry. "Close your eyes," she whispered to him as she wrapped her arms protectively around him. "Don't open them until I tell you to."

"Okay."

[X]

Emma watched as the slate grey smoke surrounded Regina and Henry quickly and in the blink of an eye, they were both gone from the cabin. She turned to look down at Hook and motioned for him to get up from the chair.

"You're going to tell me everything right now, Killian, starting with why the hell you agreed to work with Lily in the first place."

"Don't you think we ought to follow them?" Hook asked and Emma shook her head and tried to fight the urge to punch him. Again.

"You're going to tell me right now," Emma said tightly, her hand moving to her back and ready to reach for her gun. "Why?"

Hook sighed as he ran his hand over his head slowly. "You got questions and I have a few of my own, Swan. How about I'll answer yours if you answer mine, hmm?"

"We're not playing this game, Hook. You're going to tell me why you agreed to work with Lily or so help me I'll tie you back up and leave you here to rot!"

Hook sighed again. "Just after the unfortunate tragedy, I was approached by this beauty down at the Rabbit Hole. She was new in town, knew that right off from the get go and you know me and beautiful women, I couldn't resist laying down some of my charms on her," he chuckled and it faded at the pointed look Emma shot his way. "I knew she was one of the ones that came in on that bus that caused that accident even before she told me. Put two and two together, but after a few drinks, it became clear to me that there was a reason she'd come there and that there was a reason it was I she approached and not another."

Hook paused for thought and pulled his flask out of his jacket pocket. He took a swig and offered it to Emma and she shook her head no and crossed her arms over her chest. "At the time I was curious as to how a stranger knew so much about me, who I am or rather who I once was. One drink turned into more and she told me that she knew you _intimately_ when you were young. Got to say, it sparked a jealous rage inside of me, knowing that you once lain with such a beautiful woman and that rage grew when she told me she had plans to take you as hers once more."

"I was never hers."

"Because your heart has always belonged to another," Hook finished for her and as Emma's mouth fell open, he laughed quietly. "Can't say I haven't always known, however at the time, I wished to steal your heart for myself. I never did, did I?"

"Hook, we're not—"

"I know," he sighed and took another swig from the flask. "In the coming days, she'd come to me, talk to me. As I said, you know how I am with beautiful women and I had at first thought she was coming around for my charm and dashing good looks," he smirked and shrugged as he placed the flask back into his jacket pocket. "After you threw her out, she came to me. I'd never seen a woman so scorned, so angry, and I thought at first the things she told me were out of spite. Now, when she told me of her plans to break the barrier and release magic into the world, I was convinced I was now dealing with a madwoman, but a part of me believed her and feared the consequences of releasing magic into the rest of this world."

Emma's patience was wearing thin, as it normally did around the pirate, but she was intrigued and wanted to know more. She wanted to hear everything and even though he wasn't telling her what she needed to hear, she tried to remain patient and ignored the itch in her hands to ball them into fists and beat him senseless.

"I can't say I agreed with her plan, but she told me it was necessary. We made the switch that night and I was taken to the woods, instructed to stay here until I was retrieved. I only wanted to protect your boy, Swan, because I know if it wasn't me, she would've truly killed him and not that Lost Boy she cast the glamour spell upon. I knew then the moment she left that she needed to be stopped, but how would I stop someone as powerful as she?"

"Do you have any idea what I've been through because I thought my son was dead?" Emma asked and as Hook began pacing, she reached for her gun and pulled it out, keeping the safety on as she tried to steady her shaking hands. "Do you have any idea, Killian, what I've been through because of her?"

"I know she gave you the dark magic that resides inside of you," he said quietly as he slowed his pacing down but didn't stop. "I know that she and the crocodile had you under a spell and you killed that man. I know that you and Regina have been sharing a bed."

"I don't want to talk about Regina."

"That complicated, love?" Hook asked and Emma started to raise the gun and he held up his hand and hook in surrender. "Sorry, I'm still trying to figure out how you two ended up together."

"And I'm trying to figure out if you're just wasting my time right now. Why did you ever agree to work with her in the first place?"

"I told you before, you _hurt_ me, Swan, and I was still feeling that pain. At first when she told me of this plan, I thought of many different ways I could use it to my advantage, to come in and save the day and win your heart."

"I'm not some prize to be won!"

"I realize that now," Hook spat and he sighed, moving to sit down in the wooden chair heavily. "I was going to bring him to you when I found out she'd been captured, but I found it impossible to leave. She cast a spell, a curse of sorts, forcing me to stay here in this cabin."

"How did you find out?"

"What's that?"

"How did you find out she was captured and I swear to you, if I even think you're lying—"

"Now calm down, Swan," he said lowly. "You told me you'd let me speak."

"Your mouth is moving and I'm hearing words, but you're not telling me what I need to know right now and my patience is wearing thin really quickly."

"You think that I'm the only one Lily approached in the short time she was here before she was captured? You think that I'm the only one who gave in to her demands, whether it be by my own terms or not? She has more on her side than you can even begin to think of."

"A name, Killian. Give me a name."

As the name stumbled past his lips, Emma stepped backwards, her whole body growing numb in shock. And then she turned and ran, her emotions too wild to transport herself out of the cabin safely. She hit the ground running, not stopping even when her legs felt like they were about to give out and her lungs burned with every strained breath she took.

[X]

Regina ran her hands over Henry's damp hair as he lay on his bed, showered and dressed and wanting nothing more than to get some sleep in his own bed. They hadn't had a chance to speak since leaving the cabin and upon their arrival at the mansion, Regina instructed him to shower and not to mind his cast, as she would mend it with magic after he had washed and dressed.

"You really thought I was dead?" Henry whispered as he looked up at her with such innocence in his eyes. "Mom, I—"

"It's all right, my little prince, you are here now, safe and sound."

"Who was he? The boy that looked like me?"

"He was you, Henry. That's what a glamour spell is all about, it's meant to be another right down to every last freckle and that slight squeak in your voice when it breaks," she said as she placed a finger on his nose and smiled at him. "But it wasn't you."

"But who was he?"

"One of the Lost Boys, I'm uncertain as to which one," she replied quietly. "Tell me of that night. What happened when you were taken?"

"Ma had just left to go see you and I got up to get some water before bed. There was a knock on the door and I didn't think nothing of it, you know? Nothing has happened here in years and I thought maybe it was Ma and she locked herself out or something," he said with a slight shrug, one that made him wince and clutch at the newly mended cast on his arm. "It was Hook and Lily and they didn't say anything. She just waved her hand and everything went black and the next thing I knew I woke up in that place, in that cellar, and I could hear them talking above."

"Do you remember what they were saying?"

"Kind of," he replied and he shifted in the bed until he sat up and leaned against the headboard. He sighed as he trailed his fingers over his cast. "She was telling him that she'd come for him later and he told her he didn't want to be a part of whatever plan she had up her sleeve. I remember her laughing and it felt so…evil, Mom. It made me feel sick."

Regina nodded and stroked her fingers through his damp hair. "Do you remember anything else?"

"I remember waking up a little while later, wishing that it was all just a bad dream. He opened the hatch, came down with a bag of food from Granny's, and told me to eat. I kept asking him what was going on and he wouldn't tell me, he just left me down there in the dark. I think it was two days that passed before he said anything more to me other than telling me to eat."

"And every time he brought you a meal, it was from Granny's?" Regina asked, finding it to be rather peculiar. Upon her son's nod, she dropped her hand from his head. "What did he tell you, Henry?"

"He told me what Lily wanted to do, to break the barrier so that she and Gold could release magic into the world. He told me that he agreed to her plan, to kidnap me and keep me there in that cabin because he wanted to protect me. I didn't understand, Mom, I still don't."

"What don't you understand?"

"Why did she need you and Ma to think I was dead?"

"It's complicated, Henry."

"Then help make it uncomplicated!" Henry said, his voice rising and breaking partway through. He shook his head and cleared his throat. "Is it true what he told me about her?"

"What did he tell you, dear?"

"That she's what people call the devil. Satan."

"Yes."

"That's ridiculous."

"Is it, dear?" Regina asked. "Is it really that ridiculous if fairytales are true?"

Henry frowned. "No."

"She is what he told you and she went to great lengths to attempt to succeed in her and Gold's plan to break the barrier and release magic into the world."

"It didn't work, did it?"

"No, it didn't."

"Why?"

"I do not know," Regina sighed. "And we perhaps never will. Gold has otherwise been detained, as has she. As of this moment, neither is a threat. You needn't worry about them, Henry. Nobody is going to take you or harm you in any way. I won't allow it to happen. Not this time."

"There is something else," Henry said, his voice but a whisper. "Someone else came every day, the same time every morning. I think they're the ones who brought the food from the diner."

"Did you—"

"See who it was? No," Henry shook his head. "But I heard them. Her."

"Who—" Regina was cut off by the sound of the doorbell chiming throughout the house. She rose from Henry's bed with a heavy sigh. "I'll go and see who that is. Stay right here, Henry."

"Okay."

"When I get back, you and I will continue, that is, if you're feeling up to it," she said with a soft smile and he nodded his head again. She bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead before she hurriedly walked out of his room as the sound of the doorbell chimed for a second time.

Regina barely made it down the stairs before the doorbell rang for a third time and she smoothed her hands over her blouse as she looked out the side window and let out a soft sigh of relief to see who stood there on her front porch. She unlocked the door and pulled it open with a smile.

"Tink, I wasn't expecting you."

"Regina, we have a problem," Tink said, out of breath as if she'd ran there as quickly as she could. "We have a really big problem."

"What is it?"

"Lily is gone," she gasped and Regina gripped on to the edge of the door tightly.

"Gone? What do you mean that she is gone?"

Tink shook her head. "That's not the only thing," she said in a rush. "I know who let her out."

"Who?"

Tink shook her head again and inhaled deeply, struggling to catch her breath. Regina gasped as she watched the arrow sink through Tink's chest, the tip just poking through where her heart was. She reached out to grab the fairy as she slumped forward and her eyes grew wide as she saw who stood behind her.

"It was me."


	35. Chapter 35

She refused to believe it the moment the name fell upon her ears, but that hadn't stopped her from making a run for it, knowing that Regina and their son was in danger and they weren't even aware of it. But the way back to Regina's house on Mifflin Street was long, miles upon miles, and she couldn't seem to get there fast enough. Every minute that passed was a minute she didn't have to waste, but she didn't trust her magic. Not now. Not after hearing that name trip past his lips.

_"__Snow White."_

Emma gasped as she came to a stop, her body protesting any further movement. She couldn't stop, she knew she couldn't, but she also couldn't continue without pausing long enough to catch her breath that kept slipping past her. She felt a rush of panic, realizing just how far she still had yet to go. She rummaged through her pockets until she found her phone and she quickly dialed a number, jogging along the side of the two-lane road as the line began to ring.

The moment it went to voicemail, Emma hung up and hit three on her speed-dial once again. She gasped as she doubled over, her body telling her in all the vicious ways that it was done. She swallowed heavily, keeling over at the side of the road as the line continued to ring.

"Goddamn it!" Emma yelled as the line clicked to the voicemail for a second time. "Come on, Ruby, answer your phone!"

With a ferocious growl that tore through her body, she hung up and started running again, pushing her body to the limits and beyond. She couldn't get there fast enough, not by running, not when her body protested every last step she took. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry, she wanted to transport herself to the house, to protect Regina and their son because she had no idea if Snow would go after them.

Emma spun around at the roar of an engine approaching from behind of her and she let out a relieved sigh as she saw the old Ford pickup approaching and the squeal of tires as David hit the breaks. Emma pushed herself to run towards the truck and nearly collapsed as David just barely made it out of the cab in time to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Emma?"

"We need to—"

"I know," David nodded. "Come on. Let's go and stop your mother before she does something she'll regret once she's no longer under Lily's spell."

Emma groaned as she got into the cab with her father's help and she waited until he was in behind the wheel before she reached over and stopped him from putting the truck into drive. "Wait, you know that she's under Lily's spell? How do you know that?"

"I should've picked up on it days ago," David sighed, staring straight ahead as his fingers gripped the steering wheel tight. "She's been acting strangely and I just thought it was because of the stress of everything that's been happening. She left the apartment this morning without checking in on Neal and when I woke, I found her crossbow gone and Neal was in his bed, crying for her."

"There's something else, something you're not telling me."

"Snow let her out."

"Lily is free?"

"Yes."

"What?" Emma yelled as David gingerly slipped the gear into drive. "What the hell are you waiting for? Drive!"

[X]

Regina shuddered as she gently laid Tink down, her breathing shallow, her body heavy and limp. The first thought in her mind was to rush inside, cast a protection spell around her son, but it occurred to her that Snow likely had no idea Henry was alive and there with her. At least that was the best possible outcome she could wish for in that very moment.

"Snow."

"Regina," she quipped with a smirk, her crossbow raised, a second arrow already loaded and ready to fire.

"You let her out."

"I did."

"Why?"

Snow laughed in a way that Regina had never heard her laugh before. It sounded dark, cruel, pure evil and it made her feel sick to her stomach. "I let her out because she instructed me to. She's not finished, Regina, and it's time."

"Time for what?"

"To finish the spell to bring down the barrier of course!"

Regina flinched and she knew in that moment she had to stall her, buy some time. Emma was on her way, she could _feel_ her, Emma's presence growing nearer by the second. She took a moment to really look at Snow and despite the amiable distance between them, she recognized the darkness in her eyes, it was the same darkness that had been in Emma's when she'd been under Lily and Gold's control. She swallowed thickly, unmoving from where she stood on the front porch, her eyes locked on Snow White.

"That's it? You've got nothing to say?"

"Not to you," she said roughly. "But to Snow, maybe."

Snow chuckled dryly. "So you know?"

"I know you're under her control," Regina said carefully and she looked down at Tink, watching as she struggled to hold on to what was left of her life. "And you shot someone who is your friend, which I know when you are no longer under her spell and her control, you will feel immense guilt whether she dies or not."

"I don't feel anything other than satisfaction and the impending joy I am going to get when I kill you too."

"Did she tell you to take my life as well?"

"Tink got in the way. I just happen to have more than one arrow. The first one was meant for you, but it got her instead. This one?" Snow said darkly as she looked at the tip of her bolt and grinned wickedly. "This one is all for you."

Her heart was racing wildly and she knew what borrowed time she had was drawing to a close. She clenched her fists tightly, knowing that whatever move she made next would have to be done quickly, and she also knew she couldn't leave Tink there to die on her front porch either. As the slate grey smoke began to swirl around her feet, she ducked down and pulled Tink's body into her arms before she disappeared from her front porch, the sound of Snow screaming ringing loudly in her ears.

[X]

Emma gripped on to her knees, struggling to control her emotions as the truck roared down the road, still miles away from Mifflin Street. She could feel that it was too late already and she could sense an aura of danger coming from Regina. She could taste her fear. The anxiety was becoming far too much to handle and she turned to look at her father with a frown curling over her lips.

"I'm sorry."

"Emma—"

His voice was lost in the whoosh that filled her ears for a splitting second and she blinked past the slate grey smoke as it cleared. There she stood at the foot of the walkway leading up to 108 Mifflin Street and all she saw just beyond the gate was her mother with her crossbow, aimed and ready to fire.

She felt stuck in a tangent as she watched the bolt fire from the bow, cutting through the air the moment Regina bent down and picked Tink up and they disappeared just as the tip of the bolt touched the slate grey smoke that surrounded them. The sound of Snow's scream rang through the air and she spun around, a vicious growl escaping past her lips as she loaded another bolt into the crossbow and aimed it straight at her.

"Stop!" Emma cried out as she held her hands in front of her. "Snow! Stop!"

She narrowly missed dodging out of the way of the flying arrow, her body hitting the sidewalk hard as she used the hedge for cover. Emma barely had a moment to process what was happening and she could hear the solid steps that Snow took down the walkway towards the street, each one making her heart race harder, faster.

Emma was ready to act fast, but the sound of squealing tires and shouting voices stopped her from making a move. She watched in what felt like slow motion, Leroy jump out of the van with the dart gun in hand. He stopped in the middle of the street and took aim, the dart whizzing through the air and it sunk into Snow's shoulder deep, halting her in her tracks.

She emerged from behind the hedge in time to see Snow go down hard on the walkway. Leroy rushed towards her and Emma's eyes went to the pool of blood on the front porch. In a panic, she rushed past her mother and Leroy and into the house.

"Henry?" Emma called out as she ran up the winding staircase. She let out a sigh of relief as she charged into his room and found him lying on his bed with ear buds in his ears. "Hey, Henry?"

"What's up, Mom?"

"Where's—"

"Mom?" Henry asked as he plucked the ear buds out of his ears. "Someone rang the doorbell. She told me to wait her while she went to see who it was. I was just telling her that I swear I heard Grandma when I was—"

"You don't know who was at the door?"

"No," Henry said with a shake of his head and a mask of confusion on his face. "Mom, what's going on?"

"I don't know, but you need to stay here."

"Mom—"

"Henry, please."

Henry shook his head as he scrambled to get up from the bed and put himself between her and the door. "Why can't you just tell me what's going on right now, Mom? Is Lily—"

"Hello, Henry," Lily purred as she suddenly appeared behind him. "Emma."

[X]

Regina groaned as she landed just outside of the hospital with Tink, who was on the very brink of death, in her arms. It took seconds, yet it felt like minutes before a rush of nurses and Dr. Whale came running out of the entrance with a gurney. Regina stumbled back, allowing them to put Tink on the gurney and rush her inside with Dr. Whale running after them, shouting out orders.

"What happened?" A nurse asked Regina as she placed a steadying hand on her arm.

"She was shot."

"How long ago?"

"A handful of minutes ago."

"And you, are you in need of assistance?" The nurse asked as she looked at Regina's blood-soaked blouse. "Ma'am?"

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm fine," Regina said with a slow shake of her head and she stepped back from the nurse, her whole body shaking. "I—I can't stay here. There's somewhere else that I need to be."

"Ma'am?"

Regina closed her teary eyes and focused her magic on bringing her back home. Instead of reappearing inside her home, she ended up on the street. She didn't bother to worry that her magic was off, not when her emotions were at an all-time high and her mind was clouded with worried thoughts about Henry. She took off running, a feat in itself in her heels, but one she'd mastered over time. She barely stopped as she saw David approaching in his truck, the white van already idling by the curb.

"Regina? What happened? Are you okay?" David asked, jumping out of the truck and rushing towards her. "Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," she said quickly and she pushed past him and hurried up the walkway, rushing past Leroy who was disarming an unconscious Snow halfway up the path.

"Emma's inside," Leroy called out to her as she stepped over the pool of Tink's blood and walked in the door that was left ajar.

Regina barely took two steps inside before she realized there was something very wrong. She could feel Emma there in the house, but there was something else, something stronger, something more powerful and she ran towards the stairs, taking two at a time as her mind raced and she tried not to panic. She gasped when she saw Henry's door was open and she came to a stop when she reached his room.

"Henry?" Regina said tearfully as she entered his empty room, the only sound coming from his iPod and ear buds that were lying on his bed. "Henry? Emma?"

She backed out of the bedroom slowly, her hand going to her chest to clutch at her racing heart. She backed right into David who grabbed her arms to keep her from running through the house, searching for her son and Emma.

"Regina?" David tried as her tears streamed down her face. "Regina, hey, it's okay."

"No!" She screamed at him. "It is not okay! They're gone! I told him to stay, I told him to stay and that I'd be right back. I just got him back and now he's gone."

"Regina, we'll find them. I promise you, we will find them and we will bring them home."

"Let me go," Regina growled, her mood instantly shifting from worried and heartbroken to pure, undiluted rage. "Now, David."

"Regina—"

"I know where they are."

"Regina—"

His voice faded as she appeared in the clearing in the woods and her heart dropped when she saw the scene that was unfolding in front of her very eyes. Lily held tight on to Henry, a knife pressed to his throat while Emma was being forced to kneel on the ground in front of them with Hook standing behind her, forcing her down, his hook on her shoulder with the tip pressing in where a small river of blood ran down the front of her jacket.

"You bastard," Regina muttered under her breath. She _knew_ they couldn't trust the pirate, she _knew_ he'd been leading them on the whole time they were in the cabin. She _knew_ she should've killed him while she had the chance.

"Look who decided to join the party!" Lily laughed as she pointed over at Regina as she approached them. "Didn't take you long, did it?"

"I'm smarter than one would think."

"Yet not smart enough to try and take me out before I saw you first," Lily said and she clicked her tongue against her teeth with a sharp shake of her head. "Pity Snow didn't put you down like she was instructed to. I guess I'll have to do the job myself."

"Mom!" Henry yelled and he winced loudly as Lily grabbed on to the back of his hair and forced the knife against his throat a little harder. "Please…" He trembled, his voice sounding like that of a child, not a teenager growing into a man. "Please, don't kill me, please."

"Let him go," Regina said through clenched teeth.

"Regina…" Emma whimpered as she looked up at her with watery eyes.

"Would you get on with it, love?" Hook asked with a leer as he looked at Lily the way he'd once looked at Emma when he followed after her like a sad, lost little puppy. "We've already wasted so much time. I thought the barrier would've been down by now."

"Soon, my pet," Lily chuckled and she blew a kiss at the pirate before she let go of Henry's hair and flicked a wrist towards Regina, flinging her through the air backwards. "You'll stay out of the way if you want to stay alive, Regina!" Lily called out as she crashed to the ground, just barely managing to soften the blow with burst of magic.

Regina laid on the grown, her heart heavy and feeling defeated as her body protested any sudden movement just yet. She could only watch as Hook forced Emma to her feet, his hook still imbedded in her shoulder. She could faintly hear the whimpering cry escape past Emma's lips across the distance as Hook forced her to the tree line and the boundary that circled the entire town. And she could do nothing but watch helplessly as Emma raised her hands towards the barrier, the shimmer rippling in the air as she touched it.

"Emma, no," Regina groaned weakly as she turned on her side and struggled to get up. "Don't do it, Emma, please."

Just as she got to her feet, what unfolded next caught her by surprise. Emma and Hook just gave each other a subtle nod before they charged towards Lily together, Emma pulling Henry from her as they caught her off-guard. She stumbled forward as she watched Hook grab a hold of Lily and with a low growl he sunk his hook into her neck deep.

He pushed her back, his hook dripping with a mixture of blood and something black on the tip. Regina reached for Henry and Emma, pulling them into her arms as they watched in horror as Hook grappled with Lily, wrapping his arm around her neck to squeeze the life out of her before she could bleed out.

"Emma, what the hell?" Regina asked, unable to look away even as she forced Henry to do just that, not wanting her son to have more nightmares on top of the ones he would undoubtedly have already. "Emma? I thought he was on her side, he had his hook in you!"

"I thought he was too, until he whispered to me to follow his lead and to grab Henry."

"And you trusted him?"

"Well, yeah!" Emma sighed and they looked over at Hook as he let Lily's now lifeless body drop to the ground. "Killian, what the hell?!" Emma yelled at him, tearing herself away from Henry and Regina as she charged towards him and thrust her fists into his chest.

"I had to let her believe I was still working with her, love. For the greater good," he said with a nonchalant shrug.

"You _ruined_ my jacket!"

"Savior blood. It's like poison to her."

"And you know this how?" Emma was enraged beyond belief. "You know what? No, don't tell me right now because I can't deal with this yet."

Regina turned her attention to Henry, running her hands over his head and face. "Henry, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Mom. You—you're covered in blood and you're asking me if I'm okay?"

"It's not mine."

"Who?" Emma asked as she joined the two where they stood. "Who is it? Who did she shoot?"

"Who shot who?"

"Snow," Regina sighed and she stared at her son for a moment before looking over at Emma. "She shot Tink. She came to warn me that Lily was free."

"She shot Tink?"

"Grandma is a villain now?" Henry looked confused and the worry sounded clear in his voice.

"She was coming after me," Regina said softly. "Fortunately, she missed her mark the second time."

"And Tink?"

"I—I don't know," she frowned. "I managed to transport her to the hospital. I—I came right back as soon as she was in the hands of the doctors and nurses there and found you two gone."

"Tink got shot?" Hook asked as he ran a hand over his hair. "By Snow White?"

"Moms?" Henry groaned tiredly. "Can we go home now?"

"Yes, dear," Regina sighed as she reached out for Emma's hand. "We can go home now. It's been a rather eventful day, hasn't it?"

Emma rolled her eyes as Henry groaned and Regina just smiled before she wrapped her arms around her family and took them home.


	36. Chapter 36

In the days that followed, things were rather low-key, with Henry resting and Emma claiming the left side of Regina's bed as her own. Regina, on the other hand, visited with Tink in the hospital and when she was well enough to talk, that's when she learned just how Hook knew how to essentially defeat and kill Lily.

The answer she had received was one she hadn't expected in the least. While she wanted to throttle the green fairy for going behind their backs, passing on information they should've known before the dirty pirate did, she remained calm as she possible could out of respect. Tink had nearly died, on her front porch and twice on the operating table, she had to go easy on her—at least for now until she recovered fully and then, Regina had decided, she'd give her a piece of her mind.

The night before that fateful visit to her vault that turned into one of the longest days in recent memory, Tink had come across some of Blue's findings regarding Lily and what she was, most of it stemmed in nothing but lore and folktales. While Tink assured her she was going to tell her and Emma what she'd found after relaying the information to Hook, Regina wasn't sure she believed her. She understood where Tink was coming from however, knowing that nobody wanted to see Emma or herself shed anymore blood even if Lily was one of the worst of evil in this world and all the other realms that once existed and ones that still did.

Tink knew, as everyone did, that Hook would take that information and do what nobody else was rightfully willing to and he would cleverly find a way to make it work in his favor. Of course, it hadn't worked the way Regina knew he thought it would. He didn't win Emma over and in fact, she had in the last handful of days, completely avoided bringing up the whole incident including any mention of his name. The only time Regina heard his name stumble past her lips was when she was told her red leather jacket couldn't be mended from where his hook had sunk into her shoulder.

_"__It needed to be him, Regina."_

_"__Why?" Regina asked, leaning forward on the plastic chair that was placed beside the hospital bed, the sterile smell getting to her and she'd barely been there for ten minutes. "Why him? You know how I feel about him, how Emma does."_

_"__Because he needed to be the one to do it. Nothing would stop him, not when I knew he wanted to get out of the deal he had made with her in the first place."_

_"__The thing is, Tink, he willingly made that deal with her," Regina reminded her. "He knew what she was and what she was planning and he still made that deal with her. He held my son hostage for over a week!"_

_"__He kept him safe, Regina."_

_"__Safe? He kept him in a goddamn cellar and fed him food from the diner that Snow brought there for him! You were there and you didn't even know my son was beneath your feet!"_

_"__To be fair, Regina, when I found out where he was holed up, I found him drunk out of his mind on moonshine and rum. Honestly, I didn't think he'd even remember me showing up that night, much less the information I passed on to him."_

_"__How did you even know that he was there?"_

_"__The cabin showed up on the radar," Tink replied and she groaned as she placed a hand over her chest and where the bandages were from where she'd undergone surgery to remove the arrow and to essentially save her life. "The fairies at the convent have been monitoring magic all throughout Storybrooke for quite some time now. A few pockets show up here and there, but this one was stronger than most. Of course none of them had investigated it, I think they were all too scared to, especially knowing what Lily is—was and what she was capable of at full power."_

_"__How come I was not made aware of any of this?"_

_"__You know how Blue is…" Tink trailed off. "I'm pretty sure she and some of the others thought they could deal with this entire situation on their own. Of course you and I know better than that. I just took some incentive."_

_Regina laughed dryly and reached for the cup of melting ice on the bedside table. She spooned out some of the ice and held it out for Tink who gingerly took it into her mouth with a grateful moan. "Next time—if there is ever a next time—I want you to at least be a little more forthcoming in your so-called incentives."_

_Tink smiled and chewed on the slightly melted ice. "Let's hope there is no next time, hmm? I think after all of this, you two need a break."_

_"__Pardon me?"_

_"__You and Emma," Tink smirked. "You two need a break and a chance to just…be."_

_Regina allowed the laughter to slip past her lips, placing the cup of melting ice back down on the bedside table before picking up the Styrofoam cup of coffee she'd picked up on her way to the hospital earlier. She took a sip and exhaled slowly, a rather naughty smile curling over her lips._

_"__You have no idea how right you are about that."_

_"__I guess I have a small idea," Tink smirked. "I also know something else, Regina."_

_"__Hmm? What's that, dear?"_

_"__I know you'd much rather be there with her than here with me."_

_"__How right you are, but I had other pressing matters to attend."_

_"__All work and no play, Regina. When are you ever going to learn?"_

_"__Learn what?" Regina asked as innocently as she could manage. "When will I ever learn the fine line between work, play, and pleasure? Never, dear, for it all falls into one of course."_

_"__Not with Emma though."_

_"__No, dear," she chuckled dryly. "Unfortunately it is neither play or pleasure for the time being."_

_"__It won't always be that way."_

_"__One would hope not," she sighed and sipped her coffee once more. "Could I ask you something, Tink? If you are up to it, of course…"_

_"__You can ask me anything, Regina."_

Regina sighed as she removed the whistling kettle from the stove and turned the burner off, her forced smile fully in place as she turned to face a rather skittish Snow and a rather preoccupied David as he struggled to keep their young, fidgeting son on his lap.

"You can let him go," Regina said as she placed the kettle down on the wood block on the island and moved to grab the teacups she had sitting nearby. "There isn't much he can get into and besides, I suspect he'll go off to find Henry just to bother him so."

"He should be resting," David said as he all but gave up on the struggle with the toddler on his lap and let him go. "How has he been holding up?"

"Rather well, considering."

"And you?"

"I'm fine."

"Emma?" David pressed and Snow jumped slightly, the table clattering as she not too subtly kicked her husband under it. "She won't speak with either of us."

"Understandably so," Regina replied as she poured them each and herself a cup of hot tea. "In Emma's circumstance she needs some time."

"I need to talk to her, Regina! She needs to know I wasn't exactly myself!" Snow blurted out and she hit David across the shoulder with his attempt to quiet her. "David, she is our daughter and what we just went through is testing us! She is shutting us out!"

"We need to give her some time, Snow," David said with an aura of patience. "She knows you were not exactly yourself the other day. She won't hold that against you."

Regina could see that Snow was struggling and that her emotions, like all of theirs, were rather unstable and the tears were right there, nearly falling despite her best efforts to keep from allowing them to fall. Regina placed each cup in front of them and made her own tea to her own liking. Just off in another room, the den she suspected, she could hear the sounds of Henry and Neal laughing.

Regina held her cup with both hands and blew at the hot tea, watching Snow and David as they conversed quietly. She knew that extending an invitation to come over for tea and to visit with Henry had been a rather huge stretch, but it was her way of trying to include them in her and Henry's lives more. For Emma. She wanted to do this for Emma if they had any chance at having a normal as possible relationship as they could manage.

"Emma is going to be fine," Regina supplied, if just to ease Snow's fears just a fraction. "As David said, give her some time. She'll come around when she is ready."

"I know," Snow sighed and she visibly relaxed, her tense shoulders falling a little. "I can't help but worry about her, Regina."

Regina nodded, understanding where she was coming from as best as she could. She wanted to tell her that she was taking care of Emma with a side of snark and a naughty smile, but she kept that to herself. There were just some things they didn't need to know even if they already had their own suspicions of what exactly was going on beyond closed doors.

The rest of their visit was rather brief as they discussed what she had learned from Tink about Hook and his motives. While she had a certain distaste for the pirate, the Charming's did deserve to know what she had learned, if only just to help them understand the situation as a whole. She did agree with David's sentiments when he expressed how they could all do without any further situations for a while. They did, after all, deserve a break, and this time nobody was going to take things for granted, not when for years there was always something, one thing after another, that they had to deal with, that they had to fight.

A small sense of relief filled her as she saw the Charming's off. It wasn't as if she completely minded that they had come around, she didn't loathe spending time with them as she had in the past. They had needed to talk about the events that had unfolded and Regina had hoped that Emma would've joined them to put her parents' minds at ease about her state of being. She wasn't going to force Emma to be there during the visit and she had found it impossible for her thoughts to not stray to wondering herself just how Emma was truly feeling.

She locked the front door and headed into the Den where Henry was watching TV. He flipped it off when she sat down next to him on the couch and she sighed heavily, running her fingers through her hair before turning to him and they both shared a smile.

"I'm really happy to be home, Mom."

"I'm really happy you are home too, Henry."

"Is Emma going to be okay?" Henry asked her and Regina paused for a moment before nodding her head. "She barely comes out of your room."

"She's been through a lot lately and—"

"Why is she staying in your room?"

"It's—"

"It's not complicated, Mom, not anymore. I'm not some little kid anymore either, so you can tell me the truth. Can't you?" Henry asked and he didn't let her answer, instead he continued in a rush, "I think it's good that you and Emma are together now. I'm just worried about her. She seems off. Don't you think she seems off?"

"Henry, if you understood when she and I just had to endure, surely you'd understand why she seems to be off, as you put it."

"Oh I understand all right," Henry said as he stared at her, anger flashing in his eyes. "That hell bitch forced dark magic inside of her, controlled her, and made her _kill_ an innocent man!"

"Henry," Regina said in a warning tone at his language.

"Mom, you're wrong. I do understand. Maybe not in the ways you want me to, but I do get that Ma isn't in a good place right now," Henry shot back and he groaned quietly with a subtle shake of his head. "But you make her happy, don't you?"

"I suppose so."

"No, you do! I saw you two this morning when she finally came out of your room to have breakfast with us. I saw her happy when she was with you, just like I saw you happy too. I know you don't think I understand because I'm still young, but I'm not some little kid anymore, Mom. I know you love her and I know she loves you. What you two have isn't complicated. Not really."

"You are all right with the…nature of our relationship?"

"Yeah, but I mean, I don't want to hear you two having sex or anything because that's just weird," he said with an awkward chuckle. "Weird because you are my moms. Not weird because, well, you know."

Regina felt the blush start to grow, her cheeks and neck feeling hot at her son's words. She was unable to speak, unable to find the right words to say to her son who was grinning at her. She shook her head as a smile broke out across her lips, one she couldn't hold back even if she tried.

"Mom, are we staying here now?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean, neither of you have mentioned the apartment or going back there or anything like that. Not that I'm not happy to be here, Mom, because I am, I just kind of want to know what's going on, you know?"

"I think that for now, you two will be staying here."

"Cool."

Regina chuckled as she reached out to hug her son. "That's all you have to say? Cool?"

"Yeah."

Regina laughed again and placed a loving kiss on his forehead before she reached for the remote and placed it in his hand. "You can watch TV until dinner," she said as she rose to her feet and smoothed out her white blouse. "I'm going to go and check on your mother."

"Do I need to turn it up extra loud?"

"Henry," Regina sighed, feeling the blush creep back to her cheeks.

"Don't you know any, I don't know, silencing spells or anything?" Henry asked cheekily and Regina couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes. "You know, just in case?"

Regina just shook her head and strolled out of the den, pausing for a split second as she heard Henry turn the TV up louder than the usual volume she deemed acceptable. With another shake of her head, she walked through the foyer and caught sight of a flash of blonde hair disappearing into the kitchen. Following her, Regina stopped in the doorway and leaned up against the frame with her arms crossed over her chest and she watched as Emma searched through the fridge and emerged with a bottle of water in her hand.

Regina had adjusted rather quickly to Emma reverting into herself over the past couple of days, spending most of her time in bed and shutting out the rest of the world. She didn't push and just allowed her to be, to deal with things in her own way even if she knew it wasn't the healthiest of ways. She worried about her to an extent, of course, but still she didn't pry. The very last thing she wanted was to push Emma away from her, especially now that their relationship had changed.

They spent their nights in Regina's bed together, they had little moments throughout the day, moments that stole Regina's breath away, but they hadn't even been intimate save for the handful of kisses they'd shared. While she craved more, she had given Emma the choice to take things at her own pace and she was desperately trying to be so very patient with her. While the start of their relationship had not been ideal and Emma had truly been an idiot, she couldn't hold any of it against her. Not the doubt that Emma had gone through nor could she let her be responsible for the ordeal with Lily since that had been out of her control completely.

"Hey," Emma said with a smile as she turned to face her. "When did they leave?"

"I saw them out a short while ago."

"Oh."

"I just had an interesting conversation with our son."

"Oh?" Emma asked with a small smirk. "About us."

"You overheard, didn't you?" Regina asked and Emma shrugged nonchalantly and took another swig of her water. "And just how much did you happen to overhear?"

"Most of it up until the part where Henry mentioned a silencing spell," Emma replied with a soft chuckle and a shake of her head. "Seriously, where does he get this stuff from?"

"He's always been a clever boy."

"Smarter than we give him credit for too."

"That he is."

"I mean, a silencing spell?" Emma seemed fixated on that more than anything else and Regina's lips curled into a smirk as Emma approached her. "Probably would come in handy."

"Just what are you implying, dear?"

"We wouldn't have to worry about our son overhearing what goes on in the bedroom," Emma said lowly. "Or anywhere else in the house for that matter."

"I take it you're in a much better mood than you were earlier," Regina murmured as Emma nodded and placed her water bottle down on the counter before moving to wrap her arms languidly around Regina's waist. "Any particular reason why?"

"I've been thinking, a lot actually, and as fucked up as the past couple of weeks have been, there's one good thing that I got out of it."

"We have Henry back home, safe and sound."

Emma laughed. "There is that, but there is also you, Regina."

Regina smiled as she loosely draped her arms over Emma's shoulders. "Do you care to elaborate a bit more on that, darling?"

"Have I told you that I kind of really like it when you call me that?"

"Should I be calling you "darling" more often then?"

"It's a lot better than you calling me an idiot."

They both laughed for a moment before they met halfway for a sweet, tender, loving kiss. It lingered for a moment, before Emma pulled Regina flush against her and deepened the kiss, her hands roaming over her backside and grabbing at the pliable flesh with heated desire. Regina moaned into Emma's mouth, tangling her fingers in her wildly long hair.

After several days of pent up sexual frustration, Regina truly couldn't ignore the prominent ache between her legs for much longer. In the short span of time they'd been together, the time they'd spent in her bed was deeply ingrained in her memories, her mind playing it out over and over again during quiet moments and in her dreams.

She allowed herself for one moment to indulge in the other woman, to feel everything she felt when they touched in such an intimate way. She couldn't deny that she longed for that sensual touch, the desire to feel that heightened intimacy they had shared many times over the past week. She longed for it, craved it. She couldn't push for it because she knew that Emma was still trying to come to terms of the very nature of their relationship.

"I don't deserve this," Emma murmured under her breath, her lips ghosting over Regina's before she pulled back just enough to stare into her eyes. "I don't deserve you."

Regina bit her bottom lip, wanting to ask her why she felt that way, but the word never fell past her lips. Instead she placed a firm, loving kiss upon Emma's lips and pulled back with a smile, her hands sliding down her body, her fingers stroking over Emma's hip as they dipped under her t-shirt. She found the warmth and smoothness of her skin almost impossible to resist, but she just licked over her lips before stepping out of their clutched embrace.

"Don't be so doubtful, darling," she purred as she reached for Emma's hand. "You do deserve me if that means you are happy. Come with me."

"Regina…"

"I want to show you just how much you do deserve me. I love you Emma Swan and nothing will ever change that. We've already been through so very much together and now we have the chance to just enjoy what we have with one another."

"But Henry is here and—"

"It'll give us the perfect opportunity to try out his idea and see if that silencing spell can work. That is, if you want to, darling."

Emma grinned and nodded her head. "God, do I ever."


	37. Chapter 37

In the days and weeks that followed, Emma found it easier to get back to what felt like normal. Her dark mood swings lessened the more time she spent with Regina and Henry, and she found it easier to deal with the nightmares that plagued her when she woke up at all hours of the night with Regina there to sooth her, to comfort her, to coax her back to sleep with soft, lingering kisses and hands that caressed her into a more relaxed state.

She even started making regular visits with Archie Hopper and during those sessions, they worked through the basics before diving into deeper areas, darker areas that led right back around to the nightmares that plagued her. The sessions helped, but her middle of the night talks with Regina had been one of the bigger reasons she was able to stop reliving the very moment she took that man's life under the guise of a spell that robbed her of her own control, her freewill and self-awareness.

During her sessions with Archie in the beginning, she avoided talking about her ever evolving relationship with Regina and her current, unchanging living arrangements. By the sixth session, Archie brought it up once again and that time he didn't let Emma back away from the entire subject as she had in their previous, two-hour long sessions. Talking about Regina and the nature of their relationship had let out a whole new set of emotions, ones that were happy one moment and reduced to pitiful tears and feelings of being unworthy of having someone love her so unconditionally like the way Regina loved her and showed her day in and day out.

Aside from that one day she allowed Regina to prove to her that she deserved her, and despite the fact that they slept in Regina's bed night after night, they hadn't been remotely intimate because she had once again reverted into herself and pulled back, pushing Regina away every time her insistent hands began to roam past what she was comfortable with.

She was ready and she wasn't, stuck in a middle ground and constantly fighting with herself and her ever-changing emotions. There was one thing that truly amazed her and made her see Regina in a whole other light and it was the fact that no matter how much she held back at times, no matter how many times she had pushed her away, Regina proved to her in many unspoken ways that she was not going anywhere and fully committed to making things work between them, no matter what the cost would be or how long the wait.

It wasn't until after a rather uneventful Thanksgiving did things truly start to swing into motion between the two of them, with Emma's sessions with Archie and Regina's never-ending patience and support, they both came to an agreement that they needed to start having dates—official, perhaps even over the top, traditional dates that ended with a good night kiss at the door in the proverbial sense since they would both end up in the same bed much later that same night. That agreement didn't come to fruition until the first weekend in December when Emma told Regina early that Saturday morning that she had something special planned.

In reality, that something special turned out to be a last minute rush of preparations that weren't even preparations, more so her changing her clothes at least two dozen times under Ruby's watchful eye and colorful banter and quips about how nervous she was acting. The whole reason she had been so nervous was because up until that point, they hadn't had anything that could be called an official date.

"Em, you need to relax," Ruby said as she stood behind her, her hands on Emma's tense shoulders as she stared at her reflection in the tall, narrow mirror on the back of the closet door.

"I'm trying to relax!" Emma groaned and she shrugged Ruby's hands off of her. "This is too much, isn't it?" She asked while pointing to the tight red dress she'd changed into several times before stripping and trying on something else. "Maybe I should just keep it casual. I mean, she's just coming here for dinner, it's not like we're going to some fancy restaurant or anything right? It is just dinner. Casual."

"Em—"

"I've never cooked for her before, what if she hates it?" Emma continued and Ruby reached out to stop her from unzipping her dress for the third time. "Ruby, I can't do this!"

"Stop it," Ruby said firmly and took both of Emma's hands in her own. "It is just dinner. It's you and Regina and it's not like you two haven't had dinner before, right?"

"Not dressed like this!"

"Em, its more than just doing this whole date night thing with Regina, isn't it?" Ruby asked in all seriousness. When Emma didn't answer, she sighed and placed her hands back on Emma's shoulders. "Talk to me."

"I still keep thinking about how I acted when Lily first turned up."

"Emma, Lily had you under her control basically from the moment she saw you that morning in the hospital. Everything that happened since that very moment until it was broken, you're not being held accountable for any of it."

"No," Emma shook her head. "I mean, things were confusing, more so than ever once she got here, but I had been pulling and pushing Regina away from me before that. I mean, we were getting somewhere, slowly, but we were getting somewhere, Rubes, and then the whole thing with Lily…god, how could Regina even want me after that?"

Ruby shook her head and moved her hands to cup Emma's face. "You're an idiot, Emma Swan. Regina fell in love with you long before Lily came back into your life. She has been nothing but patient with you and when it comes to Regina that says a lot about her and how she feels about you. She wants you because she has seen a side of you not many have. She loves you, Em. It's as simple as that."

Emma sighed as she let Ruby's words sink in. She had a point, the whole thing with Lily hadn't been her fault, she had been under Lily's control without knowing it right from the moment she had ran into her in the hospital early that morning, possibly right from the very moment Lily had said her name. Emma sighed again as Ruby took a step back and smiled at her.

"You and Regina could have something so great together, you know that right?" Ruby asked and she hesitantly nodded her head. "I have no idea what made her fall in love with you, but whatever it is, even the situation with Lily hadn't stopped her from feeling the way she does about you. Regina doesn't love easy, but when she does—"

"I know," Emma said with a deflated sigh. "I'm just nervous, Rubes."

"You don't need to be nervous," Ruby chuckled and she did a once over. "You look smoking hot right now, Em. Just take a few deep breaths. She's going to be here soon and I need to get out of here before she gets here and Em?"

"Yeah?"

"You might want to clean your room," Ruby chuckled, throwing an air kiss her way and a wink before she turned on her heels and walked out.

Emma looked around her room, it wasn't a mess, but the clothes she'd frantically changed in and out of were strewn all over the bed and floor. She inhaled deeply and with a wave of her hand, she magically put her clothes back where they belonged in just a handful of seconds. She took one last look in the mirror and smoothed her hands down her sides. The red dress fit her like it's been poured on her body, clinging to every curve. Ruby was right, she did look smoking hot and she couldn't wait to see Regina's reaction when she opened the door.

Feeling a sudden aura of confidence that hadn't been there before, she slipped on a pair of black heels and strolled out into the kitchen to check on the dinner she'd spent hours preparing with Ruby's help. It was simple, pork chops, roasted potatoes and plenty of mixed vegetables. The apartment smelled amazing and she paused for thought, wondering just why she'd been so nervous in the first place.

"Stop being so ridiculous," she muttered to herself as she turned the oven down low and checked the vegetables in the steamer. "Its just dinner. Dinner with Regina."

They ate dinner together every day with Henry, it wasn't as if they hadn't, but Regina had always prepared the meals and they were never alone at the table. She shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair just as a knock sounded on the door. Her heart started racing as she could feel Regina's presence and until she'd returned to the apartment hours before, she hadn't realized how much she missed that now familiar feeling she got when she and Regina were near one another.

Emma pulled open the door with a smile and took in the sight of Regina standing there in the hallway with coat draped over one arm and a bottle of her cider in the other. Emma stepped back to allow her inside and she took in the sight of Regina and the tight black dress she wore. It came to just above her knees, but it was equally as revealing as she turned around, the plunging neckline showing her prominent cleavage.

"You look—"

"You—"

"You first," Emma said as she felt her face flush when they'd both went to speak first.

"You look beautiful, Emma," Regina smiled warmly and she draped her coat over the back of the couch and held out the bottle of cider. "I wasn't sure what you were cooking tonight and couldn't decide on wine, so I brought some of my cider instead."

"It's fine," Emma smiled as she took the bottle from her, her eyes raking over Regina's stunning body. "And you look really sexy in that dress."

"Thank you, darling."

Emma stepped forward and placed a soft kiss on Regina's lips. "Dinner is pretty much ready."

"It smells wonderful in here," Regina replied and she followed Emma into the kitchen. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Nope," Emma said as she moved to shut off the stove. "Well," she paused as she pulled the casserole dish with the potatoes out of the oven first and placed it on top. "You could pour the cider. The table is already set."

Regina nodded as she brought the bottle out to the table while Emma pulled out the tray of pork chops and plated their food. She carried each plate out to the table and before she could pull Regina's chair out for her, she was pulled into a kiss that stole her breath away. Her heart was racing as Regina leaned back from the kiss and swept her hands down her back and came to rest on her hips.

Emma laughed softly and before she could move, even speak, Regina's lips were on hers once more, her tongue sliding past her lips with ease. From the way Regina kissed her, she knew that things were going to get heated quickly before they even sat down to eat.

"Thank you," Regina whispered as she ended their kiss.

"For what?"

"For dinner."

"We haven't exactly sat down to eat yet," Emma laughed softly as she leaned in to kiss her once more, keeping it soft and light. "What if it tastes horrible?"

"From the way it smells, I'm sure it will be simply divine, darling."

They shared one more kiss before they sat down to eat. Without Henry there, they ate in relative silence, but it was comfortable and with every passing second, Emma's nerves calmed down almost completely. Emma found herself staring at Regina more often than not and every time their eyes met across the small table, they smiled before continuing to eat their meal.

[X]

Regina had genuinely been surprised at how delicious the meal was that Emma cooked for them. She wasn't sure what to expect when Emma brought up the idea to have their first, real date at her apartment and that she'd cook dinner. She definitely wasn't sure what to expect of the entire evening either, but she had hoped that maybe things would escalate further than just kissing as her whole body craved Emma's touch.

She knew she had to let Emma dictate the pace of their relationship after everything they had just endured together. She was nothing but patient despite feeling so very frustrated that after they'd spent a handful of days doing nothing but making love with one another. She struggled to understand why Emma kept pushing her away, stopping her whenever she tried to touch her freely, but despite that struggle, she continued to be patient with the woman she'd fallen in love with so deeply.

She had thought a lot over the past couple of weeks about their current living arrangements and more so that day after Emma told her that they'd be having their date at her apartment. There was no denying that they were living together now, despite Emma still having her apartment. This was the first time that Emma had come to the apartment in weeks, at least for longer than a quick trip to get some clothes or some of Henry's comics. She had planned to ask Emma about their living arrangements near the tail end of their date, but she was now having reservations about bringing it up at all because things had been going rather well thus far and she didn't want to mar their first date by bringing up a topic she was uncertain as to how Emma would react towards.

"Emma, leave the dishes for later," Regina said softly and she reached out for Emma's hand and urged her without words to sit back down. "Dinner was wonderful," she smiled as Emma stared at her and fidgeted with her napkin on the table in front of her. "You'll have to cook that again."

"You liked it?" Emma asked with mild surprise. "It wasn't anything fancy."

"It was delicious and it doesn't matter if it was fancy or not. I am completely satisfied and sated."

"Well, I'm glad you liked it then," Emma smiled softly and she looked down at their joined hands before she stroked a thumb over Regina's gently. "I'm sorry this isn't really a date, I mean it is, but in the traditional sense this would've been at some restaurant and it's not as if there are a lot of places to go in Storybrooke."

"It is fine," Regina smiled and she reached for her nearly empty glass of cider. "It provides us with privacy we would not have gotten if we decided to have this date at Granny's. Far too many people in this town like to pry and gossip. I imagine it would've been rather uncomfortable."

"To be seen with me?"

"No," Regina laughed and she leaned towards Emma. "I wouldn't have been able to kiss you whenever I pleased. I prefer to keep my displays of affection private."

Regina watched as Emma blushed and she closed the distance between them to place a soft, linger kiss upon Emma's lips. She smiled against Emma's lips before pulling back slowly. The way Emma looked at her made it hard not to just leap into her lap and kiss her senseless. She could only watch as Emma rose from her chair and smoothed her hands down her dress before she held out a hand to her. Drinking the last of her cider, Regina took the offered hand and rose to her feet, a look of surprise falling upon her face as the soft sounds of jazz filled the apartment.

There were many things that surprised her when it came to Emma and that very moment was one of them. Without a word being said, they moved away from the table, their arms sliding around one another with ease as their bodies began to sway to the music. As Emma pulled her flush against her, Regina could feel Emma's racing heart and she gently threaded her fingers through Emma's hair.

"Are you nervous?" Regina asked softly, her fingers gently trailing over the nape of Emma's neck. Upon Emma's silence, she licked her lips and smiled. "There is no need. Tonight has been wonderful so far, Emma. This is perfect."

"It is?"

Regina laughed. "Yes, it is."

She could feel Emma relax against her and she swept her left hand down her back slowly, coming to rest on her hip as their lips met in a deep, passionate kiss. The intensity of the kiss grew quickly as Emma backed Regina up against the nearest wall and she moaned as her back hit the wall and Emma's body deliciously melted into hers. She moaned again as Emma took the hand that rest on her hip and slowly guided it to her breast, a sign that she wanted Regina to touch her.

Emma's lips were insistent, her hands grasping at the thin material of her dress as she pulled it up over her hips, exposing her legs to the warmth of the room. Her heart was racing, her whole body responding to Emma's lips and hands that trailed over her bare thighs. Fingers curled and grasped the underside of her thigh, hooking it around her hip as they continued to kiss hungrily.

Regina moved her hand from Emma's breast to the zipper on her back. She fingered over it, waiting for Emma to either give her the go ahead or for her to stop completely. When Emma just tightened her grip on the underside of her thigh, Regina began to slide the zipper down. She smoothed her hand over the soft expanse of Emma's back that was now exposed and it elicited a husky moan from the blonde and they both parted from the kiss, panting hard.

"I want you," she murmured, their lips brushing lightly over one another's as Emma inhaled sharply. "I want you, Regina."

"Then have me."

"I wasn't ready before, not after Henry came back to us," she sighed and yet they both stood there, unmoving.

"But you're ready now?"

"God, yes."

Regina smiled as she moved her hands up to Emma's shoulders before stroking her fingers through her hair. She pulled her in the short distance for another kiss, one far more deep and passionate than the ones they'd shared not just since their date had started, but over the last couple of weeks. Regina tried to swallow her fear that Emma would put a stop to things as she had the last time when they tried the silencing spell and things had gotten far too intense far too quickly and it'd been too much all at once for Emma.

Her patience, once again, would be tested throughout the night. She had no doubt about that.


	38. Chapter 38

Emma led the way into her bedroom, her lips not once straying from Regina's as they kissed hungrily. She could feel how much Regina wanted this, wanted her, and she'd felt it from the very moment Regina had walked through the door. It only caused her to struggle with her own feelings, her own needs, and she had given up on fighting that urge to give into her desires and her longing to be with Regina intimately.

Backing Regina up towards her bed, she broke away from the kiss, eliciting a small gasp from Regina as she kicked off her heels and moved her lips down Regina's neck slowly, her hands gripping at her hips tight. Regina's soft moans were making her feel dizzy with want and she smoothed her hand up her back, finding the zipper and she tugged it down hurriedly. She stepped back as she trailed her fingers over the straps and along Regina's shoulders, their eyes meeting in a smoldering gaze.

Emma held her breath as she eased the straps down Regina's shoulders and waited until she stepped out of her heels before she captured her lips in another deeply passionate kiss. She felt her fingers trembling as she eased Regina's dress down her body slowly while fighting the urge to strip her from her clothes quickly. They had all night and Emma was more than determined to make the most out of their night together.

She pulled back and raked her eyes over Regina's mostly nude body as her dress fell to the floor and pooled at her feet. Arousal surged through her body as she drank in the sight of Regina standing mere inches in front of her in only a pair of the skimpiest black lace panties she'd ever seen. Regina let out a throaty chuckle as she began to ease Emma's dress down unhurriedly.

"You are so very beautiful," Regina murmured, her lips ghosting over Emma's as she let the dress fall in a similar fashion as hers had moments before. She pulled back and cupped Emma's face with both hands. "If you want to stop, just say the word and we will stop. No harm, no foul."

"I don't want to stop," Emma said with a smile that curled over her lips with ease. "I want you."

Regina wordlessly pulled her in for a crushing kiss. Emma didn't hesitate to pull Regina down onto the bed with her, pulling the brunette flush against her body and allowing her to be on top for just one moment before she rolled over and broke away from the kiss with a start. She straddled Regina's hips and they were both breathing heavily as Regina's hands moved to the clasp of her strapless bra and pulled it free.

"Emma," Regina moaned as Emma trailed her lips down her neck and nipped at her skin just over her pulse point. Emma smiled against her skin and trailed her tongue over the spot, her body straddling Regina's but not quite touching her.

As her lips met Regina's once more, she stilled at the soft yet insistent touch of Regina's hands gripping at her hips, pulling her down against her fully. She groaned at the heat she could feel against her own core that came from Regina and she kissed her harder, deeper. The passion that grew between them was exhilarating and Emma could hardly hold herself back. It was her impatience that landed her on her back with Regina on top, grinning salaciously down at her as she trailed a hand languidly over her body.

Emma chuckled throatily as she pulled Regina down and crushed their lips together in a hungry kiss, her left hand trailing down Regina's body and her fingers grasped at the edge of her lace panties. With just a tug, she pushed them down past her hips, her fingers slicking over her hot, wet cunt before she even removed her panties completely.

"Emma!" Regina gasped as she buried her face into Emma's neck. "Oh, gods, Emma…"

Emma teased over her clit with firm strokes, her fingers relentless as Regina's hips bucked against her hand. She moved to capture Regina's lips in a sloppy yet rough kiss, her fingers hard yet teasing with every stroke. With a low growl, Emma flipped Regina over on to her back and roughly trailed her lips down her body and ripped her flimsy lace panties off of her with one hard pull.

"Emma…"

"Fuck," Emma murmured as she kissed along the inside of Regina's thighs before she spread them apart with one quick motion. "Regina…"

"Emma!"

She all but dove between her legs, her tongue slicking over Regina's cunt greedily. Each stroke of her tongue became less insistent, slower. She gasped as she pulled back and her eyes trailed up Regina's body to meet her heady gaze. She moaned as she shimmied out of her panties and crawled up Regina's body, their lips meeting halfway.

She was torn between completely ravishing Regina and taking her time to worship her. They had all night and it'd been a while since they'd been remotely intimate. The ache burning between her thighs made it nearly impossible for her to control her actions, to hold back even just a little. She pulled back from the kiss to stare down into Regina's eyes and she found herself smiling as she took just a moment to drink in the lascivious look in her brown eyes.

Now wasn't the time for her to think about the most recent past and all the things they'd gone through, but she couldn't help her thoughts that strayed, thoughts that made her wonder if they had again gone too quickly, too far. Regina shook her head gently, almost as if she could read her mind and she pulled Emma in for a lingering kiss, her hands smoothing down the expanse of her back, fingertips lightly caressing over her skin before she grabbed on to her ass and pulled Emma flush against her once again.

"Stay with me," Regina murmured against her lips.

"I'm here."

Emma moved her lips down to Regina's neck, kissing over her skin softly, her tongue dipping out for a taste before she continued her descent. Regina's hands moved to her head, fingers slipping through her hair, coaxing her gently as Emma's tongue swirled over a semi-erect nipple. For all the hours they'd spent making love before, Emma knew every delicious inch of Regina's body and yet it felt like the first time she was getting a taste of her all over again.

With every moan, every gasp, every whisper of her name that fell past Regina's lips, Emma continued on her slow descent down the incredibly lithe body beneath her, laid out and waiting, ready for whatever she wanted to do to her.

Emma raked her short nails over Regina's abdomen, her tongue moving languidly over her warm, soft skin. She was teasing her, but she knew that Regina loved it even when she begged for her to stop. She loved the way the brunette's body reacted to her teasing touches, more so the way her back would arch with every light nip of her teeth against her skin.

She trailed her tongue down Regina's lower abdomen, spreading her legs gently as she lay between them. With a sharp inhale, breathing in Regina's arousal, she struggled to hold back despite wanting nothing more than to tease her into oblivion until she was just on the edge and begging for more. She smirked as she teasingly ran her fingers over Regina's cunt, watching as her hips jerked at her touch. The sight of Regina spread open mesmerized her, her arousal practically dripping from her as Emma slicked her fingers over her. She glanced up her body, their eyes meeting as Emma brought her arousal coated finger to her lips and licked slowly.

"Emma…" Regina moaned, her back arching off the bed slightly.

Emma inhaled sharply before she lowered her mouth to her, licking over her fully. Her hands gripped each of Regina's thighs as she dipped her tongue inside her hot, wet hole, feeling her quiver under the soft yet firm touch. Her heart was racing as she leaned back and inhaled deeply. She had missed this, missed the taste of her, she missed the way she felt against her lips and tongue. The very taste of Regina was addictive and it had been one reason she'd been holding back until then because she knew if she gave in, it'd be so very hard not to spend hours upon hours between her legs.

Every stroke of her tongue against Regina's cunt became less teasing as the moans and gasps filled the otherwise quiet of the room. She pulled the hooded clit between her lips, eliciting a louder moan past Regina's lips, her fingers moving to slide inside of her with ease. Every stroke was slow and deep, timed with the swirl of her tongue over her clit.

"Oh gods," Regina cried out, her fists grasping at the sheets as her back arched and her hips shook as Emma deftly removed her fingers and plunged her tongue deep inside of her.

She was already so close and Emma could feel it with every thrust of her tongue. Her thumb circled over Regina's clit and she pulled back with a gasp, watching as the first wave of her orgasm suddenly rippled through her body.

The sight of Regina coming undone was the sexiest thing Emma had ever seen and she knew in that moment it went far beyond being addicted to the taste of her, she was addicted to all of her. She dipped her head down, licking over her languidly, drinking in the taste of her as her orgasm continued to course through her body.

The ascent up Regina's body was unhurried, each kiss placed along her skin lingered. Her fingers skimmed over hard nipples, her tongue following in their wake. She smiled as Regina hooked a leg around her hip and their lips crushed together in a desperate kiss. She rolled her hips down against Regina's thigh, moaning as the friction caused her to nearly cum on the spot as she was already so worked up from bringing Regina over the edge.

"Emma," Regina gasped as Emma continued to move against her fluidly.

"Fuck," she moaned as their foreheads pressed together and she gripped at the sheets while Regina's hands swept down her back, her nail raking lightly against her skin.

"Let me take care of you, darling."

Emma shuddered as her arousal coursed through her blindingly and she lifted her hips up as Regina deftly slipped a hand between their bodies and in between her legs. Emma captured Regina's lips as her fingers slipped through her folds, two sliding inside of her with ease.

"You're so deliciously wet," Regina purred into her ear, her fingers thrusting hard and fast and deep. Emma moaned at the husky burr of Regina's voice. "Can you handle another?"

Emma closed her eyes and inhaled sharply, nearly losing it on the spot. "Yes," she cried out as Regina slipped a third inside of her. Although it was tight, it felt amazing and Emma bucked her hips in time with Regina's deep thrusts. "Regina!"

Her arms shook as she struggled to hold herself up and when Regina's right hand slipped between her legs to circle over her clit, she could barely hold back any longer. She felt her orgasm building deep inside of her, that delicious burn in her core that spread through her body like wildfire. Regina moved her right hand to the back of her neck, slamming her fingers deep inside of her and stilling them as she came undone. Regina pulled her in for a hard, hungry kiss, one that did nothing to quiet the moans that slipped past her otherwise preoccupied lips.

"Oh my god," Emma groaned after they parted from their kiss minutes later.

"Hmm," Regina hummed as she eased her fingers out from inside of her, slicking them over her overly sensitive cunt before bringing her fingers to her lips. "Delicious."

Emma laughed, her body collapsing on top of Regina's, spent but still wanting and ready for more. She leaned on her elbows and stared into Regina's eyes, both of them just reveling in the moment. She lifted a hand to wipe at Regina's smudged lipstick and grinned.

"Even thoroughly fucked you are beautiful," Emma murmured, placing a lazy kiss upon smiling lips. "And sexy. Definitely sexy."

"As are you, my love."

"We've kind of done everything backwards, haven't we?"

"Yes, but we are where we are now and that is all that matters," Regina smiled, her fingers threading through Emma's hair lovingly. "Aside from the more recent events, I wouldn't have changed a thing, darling."

"No?"

"No," Regina confirmed, smiling at her softly. "The things we've been through together and alone have shaped who we are today. We are stronger together and we might not have been had we not had to endure the last six years together."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"If you could change anything about our past, Regina, what would you change?" Emma asked and she bit her bottom lip as Regina paused for a moment to think about it.

"Neverland."

"Neverland?" Emma asked, her faced scrunching in confusion. "What about it?"

"I—it's silly, really," Regina said softly, a blush creeping over her cheeks slowly. "I had feelings surface for you around the time we were in Neverland. We were so focused on finding our son, but if I could, I would've gone back and changed things."

"How?"

"I wouldn't have kissed you, I wouldn't have had the nerve then, but I certainly would've made a greater effort in becoming friends upon our return to Storybrooke."

"It wouldn't have made much of a difference anyway, Regina, not with Pan's curse and everyone being sent back to the Enchanted Forest and Henry and I moving to New York with memories you gave us."

"It might have, but we will never know, will we?"

"It doesn't matter now," Emma smiled and she kissed her softly. "Because we are here now, together."

"And apparently having what could be a deep conversation if we weren't both completely nude."

"Distracting, isn't it?"

"Very," Regina chuckled lowly. "A welcome distraction, of course as I am not nearly finished with you, darling."

"Is that right?" Emma laughed as Regina effortlessly flipped them over and landed on top.

Without any words, Regina made her point, her lips trailing down Emma's body deliciously, leaving her breathless and panting before she even settled between her legs. Her eyes rolled back as soon as she felt Regina's hot mouth on her and she knew that they had a very long, long night ahead of them and she simply couldn't wait to see how everything would unfold.

[X]

Emma sipped on her coffee and placed the mug down as Regina handed her another dish to dry. They'd slept for just a few hours, rising when Henry called because Regina hadn't gone home that night. After convincing him that everything was fine, they made coffee and set to work at cleaning up from the night before. It felt so domesticated with Regina in her kitchen and wearing nothing else aside from an oversized button down shirt she'd found buried in Emma's closet. Emma had just pulled on a white tank top and black boy-shorts once they'd managed to pry themselves from each other and get out of bed.

Emma glanced at the clock and frowned when she realized that their date would be coming to an end within the hour. She had wanted to spend the day in bed with Regina, but Emma had plans for brunch with her parents and little brother while Regina was going to pay a visit to the stables with Henry to get in one last right before it got too cold.

"So, that was one hell of a first date," Emma chuckled as she placed the plate on the counter and tossed the towel down next to it. She moved to wrap her arms around Regina from behind as she rinsed the soap out of the sink. "We definitely need to do that again, huh?"

"Of course," Regina replied and even though Emma couldn't see her, she knew she was smiling.

She felt more comfortable and relaxed around her, especially after the night they just had together. It felt better than it ever had before, just being able to hold her like this with zero reservations about how it would be received. What she had learned, even long before their date night was that Regina loved to be doted on, she loved to be held, to be touched, to be kissed without expecting any of it.

Just like that morning, even during something as trivial and mundane as doing the dishes together, it just felt so right and it felt like it was something they did every day. She wondered as she laid her chin down on Regina's shoulder, why she had ever been so confused about the way she felt about her. Before that fateful night, she never thought they'd be where they were now because she never thought that Regina saw her as anything more than a friend and Henry's other mother.

"Emma?"

"Hmm?"

Regina turned in her embrace and loosely draped her arms over Emma's shoulders. "There is something that I wanted to discuss before we leave this morning," she said as she cocked her head to the side. "Don't worry, darling, it's nothing bad."

"Oh?"

"It's regarding our current living arrangements."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Do you want to?" Regina asked with a smile.

Emma opened her mouth and shut it immediately. She did want to continue to stay with Regina and Henry at the mansion because it felt more like home to her than her own apartment did, but she wasn't sure if it was all just too fast. It wasn't as if she wasn't already living there because there hadn't been a single night that she'd spent apart from Regina in nearly a month.

"It's quite all right if you no longer wish to stay," Regina said after a moment, the smile faltering but not fading. "I will completely understand if you—"

"I want to stay," Emma whispered. "But it isn't moving too fast, is it?"

"Perhaps it may seem that way, but we've known each other for years and we've been friends for a time as well. We do have a son together and if I am honest, Emma, it feels natural having you spend your nights with me in my bed."

"So, you want me to give my notice and move my stuff into your place?"

"Only if that is something that you want."

"I want it, I do," Emma said and she kissed her softly, their lips lingering. "Maybe we should ask Henry what he thinks?"

"Henry was the one who made me promise that I'd ask you about making it official."

Emma laughed with a shake of her head. "Of course he did."

"You don't need to decide yet if you need some time to think about it, darling, but you know that I would absolutely love for you to call my home yours as well."

"It already feels like home, Regina."

"If you ever feel like you need to take a step back, please never hesitate to tell me."

"No," Emma said with a shake of her head. "I'm done taking steps backwards. I want to move forward. I want to keep moving forward and never look back. Can we do that?"

"Certainly."

"And I promise, I'll open up more. I'm working on it with Archie. He told me it takes time and maybe one day something will just click and any doubts I have will all but disappear."

"Promise me one thing?" Regina asked, her voice quiet but sure. "Promise me you'll never doubt that I love you, darling."

How could she doubt that now? Especially after being shown that without as many words the night before and in the weeks that led up to that very moment. Regina had not only loved her unconditionally, she was forever patient with her, and that was more than she could've ever hoped for after everything they'd gone through recently. How could she doubt the love from a woman who never loved easily? How could she doubt the love from her son's other mother?

"I promise that I never will," Emma breathed out softly as they swayed in one another's arms lightly. "I love you, Regina, and I promise that the weight of us, of what we have, is no longer holding me back."

Regina smiled and she ran her fingers through Emma's hair gently. "We'll have our moments, of course. You've never failed to get on my nerves one way or another."

"Because I'm stubborn and an idiot."

"You're my idiot."

"I am yours, Regina, for however long you want me."

"Is forever long enough?" Regina murmured as they leaned in for a soft kiss. "Because I don't think forever will ever be long enough."

It wouldn't, that she knew for certain, but however long it would end up being, in this life and the next, Emma knew she had one thing to look forward to and it was having many more moments, just like this one. It would be all the memories they'd make together, as friends, as a couple, as a family.

Whatever the future held, wherever life led them, she was ready. She was finally ready.

**The End**


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